Snippet #2443973

[White Shadows Camp, 10 days after the Castle Ball]

“No. Absolutely not.” Annie stated, her dark eyes glaring at Alistair in anger. “This is not an option.”
“This is our ONLY option, Annie. His body can’t take much more, it’s going to shut down. Slowing down the process is not doing him any good.” Alistair argued, his tone calm as he held the girl’s gaze. “We can’t save Isaac, Annie. There is just not enough time to find an answer, and we don’t even know if an answer would lead to a cure. We don’t even know what this actually is. Maybe there aren’t any answers; maybe this is just... what it is.”
“There is an answer. If my mother was searching for it, it’s there somewhere. I know that. Maybe we’re just not asking the right questions.” Annie mumbled in response, looking away from her friend and heaving a weary sigh. There was cold wind blowing across the plains that morning; it was still dark, but the sky was clear and once the Sun began to rise its light would flood the ruins and the white tents of the encampment. A bright sunny day it would be, but to the healers it was bound to feel hopelessly dark. “How much longer could we keep him under sedatives?”
“Maybe another week, at best, but... At this point it is unlikely he would ever wake up. I know Lena was against doing things like this, and until recently I would have agreed with her, but this is too much. It’s not right to keep doing this to him, we are the only family he still has in this world, we owe him... Something, anything, better than this.”
“I love Isaac too, Al. You know that, but... If we do this, then what are we? Who are we? Who am I if everything I believe in, everything I’ve lived for, means nothing in a moment like this? What does this make me?”
“Human, Annie. Painfully and undeniably human. This moment, and every time you look back on it until the day you die, will only ever serve the purpose of reminding you that no matter what God you follow, no matter what you believe or how hard you try... You are only human. You’ll always want to bend the world to your will, but you can’t. Your soul is a trap set to make you fail, and it’s also the one thing in this world that you can never fully escape. You were the one who taught me that, remember? Accepting fate also means accepting that sometimes we are small, powerless and insignificant, it also means accepting impossible choices and the inevitability of living with them.” Alistair heaved a long sigh, wrapping one arm around Annie and pulling her into a hug in an attempt to comfort the girl. “Listen, I know that right now you wish more than anything that this wasn’t in your hands, but denying it won’t change anything. We fought for him, as hard as we could, but now it’s time to let him go.”

Annie was silent as Alistair spoke, for the first time his ability to remain perfectly calm in these situations wasn’t helping her cope, she felt exhausted just standing there and thinking of the possibilities. She leaned into Alistair and closed her eyes for a moment, she wanted to scream, but all she managed was a choked sob. Alistair had a point and she knew it, if there was any chance to save Isaac he would be the first to look for it, but the truth was that they were far from an answer and their friend was on the last of his strength. “I don’t think I can do this.” She whispered finally, pulling away from the hug and noting the several tear stains left on Alistair’s shirt. She didn’t realized she had been crying until just then.
“I haven’t ask you to do it, I’ve asked you to let me.” Alistair said, a sad smile crossing his features as he stared at her. “It should be me, don’t you think?”
“Al... I... Are you sure? He’s your best friend.” Annie asked, her tone concerned as she looked from Alistair to the entrance of the small tent where Isaac had be left to rest.
“As sure as someone can be about something like this.” Alistair retorted simply. “If we’re going to go through with this, Annie, we should do it while most of the camp is still asleep.” He warned.
“Alright, just... Give me a moment.” She mumbled, going past Alistair and into the tent.

Isaac was lying motionless in a sleeping mat, he seemed to be sound asleep, but a closer look showed that he was breathing with some difficulty as though he was in pain, a reddish glow appearing random intervals underneath his closed lids. He was clearly suffering despite his unconscious state and in the past day it had gotten considerably worse. Annie kneeled beside Isaac breathing deep as she watched her friend sleep for a few seconds in silence before finally speaking to him. “I don’t know if you can hear me, in some way, maybe you can but I’ll never know, right? I know that you would probably say it doesn’t matter, that this is more for me than it is for you; we see it every day. I honestly wish I could be stronger for you, my friend, that I didn’t feel the need to do this, because I know that if you can hear me it’ll probably just hurt you more. I am so... So sorry...” She paused, letting out a shaky breath before speaking again. “You are a good man, Isaac, you are... a wonderful friend. I don’t know what I would have done these past couple of years if you hadn’t been here to help me. And now here we are... After everything, this is the only help I can offer you...” With a shaky hand she covered the man’s eyes, closing hers as she mumbled a prayer under her breath. “...May you find peace in your next life, brother... And know that you are not forgotten.”

As Annie left the tent she let Alistair pass her by, not turning around to watch him enter, or waiting to see him exit. She walked away until the sun started to rise, streaks of golden orange coloring the sky as light began spread across the plains. It wasn’t long before the camp was filled with sounds of people getting ready for the day... It wasn’t much longer until all sound faded into a devastated silence.

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[Flashback - The woods outside of Blackpond, 10 years ago]

“You’ll never make it back in time... You shouldn’t go by yourself... You’re going to pick a bar fight aren’t you?...” Dastan was mumbling under his breath, his tone somewhere between annoyed and amused as he recited Indrani’s words on his way home. He was supposed to have been back the night before, but he did in fact have too much at the city Inn and he did in fact get himself into a fight; which was visible by a very noticeable bruise on the left side of his face, and he knew he was bound to hear a very big ‘I told you so’ when he reached the desert. It was not a big deal though; he was sure Indrani had done just fine in his absence.

The night breeze was cool and soft in the forest, the sky was clear and the moonlight was sneaking in through the branches of the trees above. The forest was as quiet as a forest could be and Dastan was pleased to think that his journey home would be a peaceful one. Little did he know that he wasn’t really alone in the forest that night. Not minding where he was going, Dastan eventually stumbled upon an encampment of Blackpond soldiers that seemed to be ready to ambush some Newhaven men near a little village just ahead. And before he knew it he found himself with swords pointed at him from every direction. They questioned him, but he refused to answer them and it was at some point during their questions and their beatings that Dastan felt his mind starting to slip away into a complete void. He tried to fight that feeling, he tried to stop the darkness from coming to life, but when he felt a blade starting to slide across his neck he let go for the sake of keeping his life.

Next thing he knew he was waking up, a groan escaping his lips as he tried in vain to push himself up from the floor; his body too weak to respond, his eyes only half open to the sight of red coloring the earth around him, dead soldiers lying motionless, some of them in truly gruesome ways, the sickening smell of death rising from the blood stained ground. He could feel the pain from the beatings and the weakness of overusing his enlightenment, but he couldn’t remember what had happened. He knew what had happened, but he had absolutely no memory of it.

. . . . . . . . . .

[Flashback - The Desert, 13 years ago]

“Cheer up little brother! You don’t seem like you’re having fun, it’s a party!”

A loud and cheerful voice sounded in Dastan’s ears, accompanied by a firm pat on the back that nearly made him drop the bowl of stew he’d been silently staring at. Mumbling a curse under his breath he lifted his head to face his older brother. “Yes, Vikram, it’s my birthday, I know there’s a party.” He responded, starting to idly dig into his dinner, his dark eyes glancing at a group of people chatting and dancing by one of the many fires lit around the encampment; their shadows flickering as they danced along the sand and the surface of the rocks around them. “It happened again this morning... Right before sunrise... It’s been four years of living with this curse and I’m not getting any stronger... I’m not getting any closer to controlling this...”
“You’re thinking too much, little brother.” Vikram argued. “All this tension is doing you no good. And what have I told you, huh? There is no such thing as curses... You are not cursed, kid.”
“Then I am sick. Either way, something is not right with me.” Dastan argued, quickly glancing at his brother before turning his eyes back to the dancing shadows, taking a bite of his cold food.
“That’s bullshit. It’s complete and total bullshit, you hear me?” Vikram argued. “Even if it wasn’t, let’s say you are cursed, or sick, or whatever you want to call it. Have you hurt anyone?”
“No.” Dastan muttered.
“No. Have you suffered any episodes at all aside from the random whispers you’ve been hearing?” Vikram insisted.
“No, but...”
“No. You’re fine, brother.” The older boy assured him. “If you believe you are fated, then why not at least enjoy life while your sanity still seems intact instead of just sitting by yourself and worrying about the past and the future? If your days are counted, that’s one more reason to make the most of them, right?” Vikram nudged his younger brother, nearly knocking the plate of food from his lap. “Am I right or am I right? Huh? Huh?”
“Knock it off.” Dastan muttered, snorting a bit of a chuckle under his breath. “Yes, you’re right... I guess... I just don’t like the thought of ending up like him.”
“Dastan, you weren’t there. I mean, you were, but you were less than just a baby. All you know is what people whispered behind your back. You can’t let this dictate the course of your life. It’s not healthy. For anyone. Alright? Now... I’m ordering you to go have some fun on your birthday.”
“You’re ordering me?” Dastan laughed. “Are you kidding?”
“No, little brother, I’m not.”
“Vik, really... I just want to have my dinner and go to bed.”
“You turn sixteen today. You’re a man... It’s about time you start enjoying some of the benefits of being a man.” Vikram stated knowingly, nudging Dastan yet again and nodding towards a group of girls. “You’ve been eyeing Lila for months now, why don’t you talk to her?”
“I’m terrible with girls, that’s why. You know that. I’ll say something stupid and she’ll reject me.” Dastan muttered, chewing more of his food and muttering things under his breath.
“Well, that’s your worst mistake there. Don’t be afraid. It doesn’t matter if you say something stupid or not; you’re the clan leader’s brother and you’re almost as good looking as he is; half your work is done. As long as you are confident and respectful you’ll do fine. If she rejects you just remember to stay confident; don’t let it shake you and don’t be offended. Never be offended with a girl for saying no to you. She has every right to say no to you. If she doesn’t think you’re worth her time it’s your job to prove otherwise, only jerks act like they deserve a girl’s attention simply for being there. Do you understand?”
“I guess... Basically don’t be a jerk.” Dastan stated, nodding. “Seems simple enough.”
“It’s harder than it looks sometimes. It’s tough to be rejected, it’s frustrating, and believe me; you’ll hate it. Most guys react badly even if they don’t mean to and that’s what most girls expect to see. That’s why it matters so much to be different. Even if you get a ‘no thank you’ from a girl, if you take it the right way you may still have a chance to change her mind later. So don’t aim for a yes, just go for a smile. Go up to her, say something flattering and ask her to dance with you.”
Dastan flinched for a second, staring at the girl as though he was considering the idea, but eventually the boy shook his head. “Another night, maybe.”
Vikram sighed softly. “Brother, listen to me; there is no other night. This is the only night there is, and that’s the way it has to be... If you don’t live your life right now, one day you’ll wake up and it’ll have passed you by.”
“You’re drunk.” Dastan pointed out as though that one fact disproved every good point his brother had made.
“Yessir, I am... And a happy drunk. Better than being sober and sulking like some people.” He chuckled softly, ruffling Dastan’s hair. “I’ve given you my advice, little brother... It is yours to do with as you wish...”

[The Desert, 11 days after the Castle Ball]

“Shaykh.”

Dastan opened his eyes at the call, taking a few moments to make out Jackson’s voice. “What is it?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. “What time is it?” He groaned, the clarity beginning to bother his eyes.
“A couple of hours past noon.” Jackson replied, handing Dastan a flask of water. “Alistair is here to see you, he says it’s important.”
“Hmph.” Dastan mumbled, drinking half the water in one large gulp. “How long was I out this time, what day is it?”
“It’s been over a full day, and you really don’t look so good.” Jackson replied, for a moment his tone was a perfect impression of Indrani’s in its severity. “You’ve been overdoing it lately, even by your standards. The others are starting to talk.”
“I have drank much more than this before.” Dastan argued, his sight beginning to clear, as his eyes got used to the light flooding the temple.
“Not by yourself. No one has seen you in camp in over four days.” Jackson sighed. “Listen, I know you’re depressed about Indrani leaving and what happened between you two... It’s understandable... No one will blame you for missing her, but you need to make an effort.”
“I’m not depressed, Jackson, I’m... My head is a bit messed up right now, that’s all. I thought it would be better to sort it out myself, without everyone constantly watching me.” Dastan sighed, scratching the back of his head.
“How’s that working out for you, boss?” Jackson asked, arching an eyebrow at Dastan.
“Fantastic.” Dastan muttered. “Didn’t you say Alistair wanted to see me?”
“He’s waiting downstairs. There’s some food there for you as well. I’ll tell him you’ll be right down; try not to fall asleep again while putting on shoes.” Jackson replied, leaving Dastan alone in the room.
“Once. That happened once.” Dastan muttered in response. “I had been awake for three days for heavens sake.” Looking around the room Dastan eventually found his boots and a clean shirt to wear, making his way to the ground level of the temple, where Alistair was waiting for him. The former healer didn’t look too well himself, he looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. “You look like shit.”
“You’d know a thing or two about that wouldn’t you?” Alistair retorted, briefly standing from the stone bench he’d been sitting on, sitting back down as Dastan sat across from him. Jackson had left each man a bowl of stew and half a loaf of bread, Alistair having finished off his food while waiting for Dastan; only a empty bowl left at his side.
Dastan didn’t respond, first picking up the bowl and digging into the food in silence until he was halfway through the bowl of stew. “Alright...” He started, pulling apart a piece of bread and stuffing it into his mouth as he spoke. “What brings you, friend? Jackson said it was important.”
“How are you feeling?” Alistair asked simply, his eyes examining the mercenary as if trying to evaluate his state of mind.
“That’s what was so important? I’m alright, I guess. I’ve been sleeping a bit more than usual, but according to general opinion that’s just depression.”
“Mhm... Do you remember what we talked about when we last saw each other?”
“You said you’d keep that conversation between us.” Dastan pointed out, setting his bowl down and glaring at Alistair.
“And I have, despite not being required to; I’m not sworn to secrecy anymore.” Alistair smiled calmly at Dastan. “It’s not just you though. I take you heard about Isaac?”
“Yes... I heard he had some sort of episode, is he alright?”Dastan asked, continuing to munch on the bread.
“He’s dead.” Alistair replied shortly. “So I guess he is alright now in a way.”
Oh... I’m sorry to hear that, I know you two were close... How’s Annie taking it?”
“Not too well. No one is taking it well, Isaac was very well liked.” Alistair sighed softly, rubbing his eyes and glancing around the main hall of the temple in silence. “Weren’t you planning to rebuild this place?”
“We had plans to do renovations, yes, before those outlanders invaded our territory. We had some major setbacks since then.” Dastan answered. “What does Isaac have to do with me?”
“It’s not just Isaac, Dastan; it’s everyone. Every enlightened in Valcrest is or will be experiencing debilitating symptoms.”
“Is or will be? So you’re saying everyone will inevitably fall ill in some way?”
“No. I’m saying that every enlightened in Valcrest will inevitably start showing symptoms of an illness. For what I gather everyone is already ill; even if they don’t feel it yet. It has been going on for a while now... Lena was the first to feel it, that’s why she left in search of answers.”
“I take it she didn’t find any.” Dastan questioned, finishing his bread and brushing a few crumbs that had fallen on his clothes.
“No.” Alistair shrugged. “We’re trying to pick up her research, Annie has been trying obsessively to decode her notes, but not much progress has been made so far. I’ve come to tell you this for two reasons; first because I thought you needed to know that what is happening to you is most likely due to this unknown illness, but also because once this becomes public, and it will soon, people will begin to panic and most likely try to leave Valcrest in order to escape the sickness.”
“Will that work?
“I doubt it. I suggest you secure your encampment as best as you can. Once people realize how bad the situation really is... Things are going to snap out of control.”
“I see, but... These hallucinations of mine... The voices... I always had them since I was a kid. Lena said they were a part of my enlightenment somehow.” Dastan questioned. “I just thought....”
“The spit personality effect is a common occurrence with summoning abilities like yours; a part of your mind is projected onto the shadow golem and disassociates from the rest of your consciousness. It’s not debilitating and perfectly manageable as long as you take your precautions; you’ve been nothing but cautious for the past ten years, so I’m pretty sure that these blackout episodes you’ve been having are a clear sign of illness.” Alistair explained. “I know that what happened to your father seems to suggest otherwise, Dastan, but you have always been perfectly capable of controlling this.”
Dastan sighed deeply, hiding his face in his hands for a moment before looking up at Alistair again, rubbing his temples as he muttered.“Not anymore though, right? It’s going to keep getting worse and there’s nothing I can do. Just like what happened with Isaac.”
“Probably, yes.” Alistair replied. “Dastan, don’t do anything stupid. You have time.”
“How much time? You don’t really know, do you? I don’t want to wait until I hurt someone, so what are my options really?” Dastan shook his head, a frustrated groan escaping him.
“You haven’t hurt anyone yet. You need to make someone aware of your situation, someone you trust, so they can help you. Trying to manage this alone will only make things worse.”
“I guess.” Dastan agreed, standing up with a groan. “Suppose I should warn the other enlightened in the clan; I’ll gather them all tonight and give them the news.”
“If anyone starts showing symptoms, you have them come to us, we may not have an idea how to stop this yet, but we have ways to make the condition more manageable. In some cases at least; didn’t do Isaac any good.”
“Way to be optimistic man.” Dastan chuckled. “Alright though, I’ll tell my people that if they start feeling sick they should look you up. Hopefully Annie makes some progress on those notes, and soon.”

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[Raven’s Nest - 12 days after the Castle Ball]

Jake had a slightly frustrating afternoon with Irvin... Trying to teach the kid to fight wasn’t as easy as he thought it’d be. He was smart, and was good at stopping Jake’s attempts at going invisible, unfortunately he was unable to do that and keep his guard up as well. When trying to correct the boy Jake quickly discovered that he’d have to teach the kid a lesson in humility first, make him understand that this was not something he could cheat his way through. The training session ended with Irv walking out on him; something Jake would have to punish him for the next day.

As he thought about the training session, Jake had set up a small camouflaged tent, a little further away from camp, but still close enough to hear if there was something out of ordinary going on. The tent was something Ali had gotten for him after he repeatedly avoided the question of where he’d been sleeping. She didn’t insist on the question and didn’t say that she obviously knew he just hadn’t bothered with a place of his own... She simply pushed the tent on him. Ever since that he’d been moving his little camp, unable to find a spot that pleased him, but this seemed to be a very good place to settle down, finally.

Once done with the work he dragged his bags and set up his sleeping mat inside staring idly at the bag that contained his most personal valuables, the journal book Ess had tossed on him inside of it as well; he hadn’t really read it, he wanted to, but wasn’t sure if he really should... It was just one more doubt in the back of his mind. Lifting his head, Jake was sure he heard something outside... Something too subtle to be one of the Guard or another friend paying a visit.

As quietly as he could he stepped outside and looked around, not seeing anyone. As he turned around, however, he slammed into something, or someone, the sound of a familiar giggle immediately causing his every muscle to tense and his eyes to narrow as he looked down at Luckas.

“Shame on you Jakey... Whatever happened to those reflexes of yours, huh?”
“You little.... Piece of... Son of...” Jake muttered out, pulling Luckas onto his feet by the front of his shirt. “You knew! You knew and you knew she was here!!!”
Luckas chuckled. “Oh, you silly boy... I thought I had told you! You mean you didn’t understand who I was talking about? Seriously?” He asked, faking a shocked expression and pushing Jake’s hand away from his clothes. “Careful, there... These are new.” He scolded.
Jake’s face contorted in an angered expression as he pulled the little golden dagger Luckas had used to threaten him. He pointed the dagger at the other man’s face. “You talked to Crys... What was that about?”
“Crys... Crys...” Luckas mumbled, tapping his own cheek with his fingertips as if trying to remember the name. “Pretty redhead... Sweet personality... Blind as a bat?” He asked raising an eyebrow. “Oh, she rescued me when I found myself a little short on coin. Remind me to repay her at some point.”
“Stay the hell away from her, or I swear... By all the Twins... I’ll...”
“Kill me?” Luckas sighed, rolling his eyes impatiently. “Haven’t we gone through this one already? I mean... How many times are you going to nearly beat me senseless and then change your mind and foolishly turn your back on me? Not that I’m complaining... I enjoy your little hissy fits, they’re kind of adorable, but not very productive.”
“I mean it!” Jake muttered. “Stay away from her... Both of them...”
“Ah... Now we seem to have a problem, Jakey... See, like I said... Crys is pretty and she has a lovely personality, but not quite my type... I was never one to enjoy the company of empaths for too long. As for the other part of this ‘them’ you refer to... I’m sorry, but no.” He snickered. “Well... Except I’m not really sorry.”
“What’s in it for you?” Jake asked, his tone a little more calm, although his grip on the dagger had tightened considerably.
“That’s a good question... And I’d tell you... Except that’s really none of your damn business. Hell, I can’t barely give a proper answer to myself... And it’s pretty much in my interest to know don’t you think? I’d like to kill her, maybe... but I’m not sure I’d like it if she was dead... Kind of a problem, wouldn’t you agree?” Luckas asked, as if seriously expecting some form of advice on whether or not to kill. “I mean... Killing someone is a big decision, you know... It’s not like I can undo it if I don’t like the results... Hmm... Decisions... Decisions...”
Jake’s hand was firmly gripping the dagger, now pressed to Luckas’ throat, his anger slowly rising at Luke’s words; he couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it would be to just slit his throat right there... And it would. Luckas didn’t really seem to mind, or acknowledge the blade.

Tala, almost appearing like a faded projection of Ess’ soul, had been watching as she trotted forward, ears perked on alert. The back of her fur was spiked along her neck and shoulder blades, a soft grunt like growl revealing her presence, Ess only steps behind her. Arms crossed across her chest, Ess’ fingertips tapped lightly along the hilt of her sword, tilting her head curiously as she came to a stop. She was quiet for a few moments, standing so she could see into both the men’s eyes; Jake’s intense with a threatening glare and Luckas’ somewhat comical and maybe even mocking. Clearing her throat, Ess spoke slow and unhindered to make sure both the boys heard her. “Jake, I thought you wanted to ….uh Play? Didn’t think you would get started without me....” A small smile touched her face, quirking a brow at Luckas. “..You jealous you weren’t invited, Luckas?” As her eyes scanned over the two, her violet orbs widened in simple amazement when she noticed the small, golden dagger that was pressed against Luckas’ throat. Not that she didn’t notice the threatening pose Jake was in, but the object itself caused her to fall back into silence. Slowly she unfolded her arms, her smile closing as she rested one hand gently upon Jake’s shoulder, the other reaching out towards the dagger. Ess wanted to hold it, to prove to herself it was the same from memory. “...I can’t believe how...tiny the blade is....” She snickered. “I remember how that would hang from your belt, and how conspicuous it was then.....” Her tone softened. “I can’t believe...you still have it...” Her fingers rested lightly upon Jake’s hand.

Ess wasn’t sure what exactly was going on between the two men, yet her focus momentarily had left the situation and more on the object before her, the only thing keeping her in the moment was the gentle growl coming from her wolf, expressing her dissatisfaction with the situation.

Jake couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of disappointment at the interruption, but then... It was probably better off, for the moment at least. Besides, if he did kill Luckas, this wasn’t the blade to use. He’d never taken a life with that blade, and something told him it wasn’t the time to start. Slowly, he lowered the little dagger, eyes shining in an ice cold glare as he stared at Luckas for yet a few moments before turning his attention to Ess and opening a soft smile towards her. “Of course I kept this... I always keep everything. Besides...” He chuckled. “Best gift ever.” He said, nodding along to his words as he offered her the hilt of the tiny knife.

Once the blade was away from his skin Luckas crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared from Jake to Ess with a severe look in his eyes; mimicking a child being ignored by all of the adults in the room. “Excuse me...” He called. “Yes, I am. I am very jealous. I mean... How dare you... HOW DARE YOU play with others behind my back? I thought we had something special! I mean... Were you just leading me on all this time? That’s just cruel. It’s a cruel thing to do Jake, and I’m hurt right now!”

Jake had calmed himself considerably by Ess’ presence alone, but he was not amused in the slightest and he turned to Luckas abruptly as if he was going to take a swing at him, although he simply glared at the man and muttered. “By all the Gods in the Afterlife... Shut that stupid mouth of yours before I lose it completely!”

Ess’ smile faded some as she turned over the blade in her hand, her thoughts interrupted by an annoyed Luckas running his mouth at her. Out of spite, she lazily turned her gaze towards Luke, brows narrowing in pure perplexion. “What.....is....your drama, Luckas? First off...” Her voice went from confused to matter of fact like. “....Jake and I were going to train.....and second....” Ess sighed shaking the dagger at Luckas, using it to point between him and Jake as she spoke. “You think I’m going to have fire fun without you? If you haven’t noticed or listened to anything I’ve told you, then you are most obviously ignoring the fact that Jake is like my brother..and you and I....” Ess paused giving a sweet smile and small wink. “...Our...definition of play is not quite the same as Jake’s and I’s. I mean..who else can I trust to hide the bodies with.” She couldn’t hold back a series of giggles at her own words. Ess may have been upset and annoyed with the knowledge that Luckas held and the connection she had to Jake; how he knew and kept it to himself, but that was only at first. Now she simply smiled, finding Luckas’ reaction kind of adorable, making her think back on a previous conversation. “I know....I know....You don’t like sharing, My Dear Luckas....” Ess handed back the golden dagger to Jake and lightly patted his arm. “Quiet, relax, I don’t understand what all the tension is about...” Her mind wandered back to the dagger for a moment, remembering how she had given it to Jake for his birthday and that was the same time he had given her ‘Jacob Bear’. It was kind of ironic how she never celebrated her birthday since that day, not even sure when it should have been anyhow. Still, every year she wrote to Jake in her journal, quietly celebrating his birthday even when she believed he was gone. Ess even went as far as baking cinnamon cookies, but never eating them, remembering it was something Jake had liked when he was young.

Luckas listened to Ess in silence and with the same serious look plastered on his face, although he felt the strongest urge to laugh he’d ever felt once he caught the expression on Jake’s face at her words. Finally he tilted his head to the side, closing one eye as he seemed to go into deep thought, after a moment or two he heaved a ridiculously exaggerated sigh and replied. “Fine... I suppose I can forgive the two of you.” He declared, nodding slightly and opening a little playful grin. “And well... See... Lady... Jake is cranky because I was just calmly explaining to him that I’m not going away and he can’t make me. I don’t think he believes me, but maybe Beast Boy can tell him.”

Jake simply stood, glaring at Luckas in anger still, his expression shifting discretely to one of revulsion at some of Ess’ words, but he made himself keep quiet about it, for the time being at least. Quietly he finally made himself look away from Luckas to put the little dagger away in its sheath, after which he stated. “I’m not cranky. I hate you, and I want you gone. Not just from my presence, but from existence, because honestly the simple fact that you breathe makes me sick to my stomach.”
“Oh, come on... You’re being a little over-dramatic now, don’t you think?” Luckas raised an eyebrow at Jake. “I don’t think the situation calls for something like this...”
“You killed my aunt and you took her memories!” Jake exclaimed. “You don’t even want to know what I think this situations calls for.”
Luckas sighed. “I did not... DID NOT... Kill Lena. Most definitely, I did NOT take her memories.” He stated, giving a little shrug. “She was weak and she pushed herself and I don’t have a clue of how I ended up with her memories at all.”
“I don’t believe you.” Jake stated simply. “You never really made it a point of hiding the fact you wanted to kill her.”
“I wanted to be able to kill her, yes. I never hid that, that’s true. And I did attack her, that is also true, but... If she was in her perfect health she wouldn’t have died... That... Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Luckas grinned as he asked the question. “So tell me something, if you want me to admit I killed Lena... Did you kill Dani Rivers?”

Jake lowered his head, a small bitter chuckle escaping him as he ran one hand through his hair. “You... Have got some nerve...” He muttered. “I’ll give you that. With that said... Luckas...” Jake lifted his head to glare at Luckas with a look of absolute hatred in his eyes. “If you dare speak her name again... Even if it kills me, I will crush you. Are we clear? You have no right to even speak that woman’s name.”
Luckas seemed rather unfazed by Jake’s anger, even though he realized that he was being absolutely serious in his threat. He simply gave a shrug and continued. “Fine. I won’t speak her name.” He replied. “Did you tell her that story though?” He turned to Ess with a curious look. “Did Jakey tell you that he... Uh... Killed his girlfriend’s mom?”

Tala had planted herself between the two men, sitting idly upon her haunches and panting heavily as she stared from one to the next. Essence quirked a brow, her expression seemingly amused, which wasn’t a total facade because she found Luckas’ reaction still somewhat adorable, but this mention of him ‘forgiving’ her sent the urge to smack him behind his head. She remained still however, shaking her head. “Sure...well long as I’m forgiven I guess..” She muttered sarcastically, her eyes falling to Tala at the mention of Aiden, a soft sigh escaping her when the color in her eyes faded some in a momentary saddened look. When the two began bickering back and forth, any trace of Essence’s amusement was clearly gone. Her gaze flickered between the two, her hands resting absently upon her hips before she turned back to Tala, the wolf no longer panting but ears perked curiously as she was staring back at Ess, awaiting her to speak. “I think...they are both being a bit overly dramatic, don’t you Tala?” She whispered sweetly. “..Don’t they seem like an old arranged, married couple or something?”

Rolling her eyes as it continued she spaced out, still staring at the wolf, contemplating the words that were being spoken. Ess didn’t know much about Lena or what exactly had occurred with the circumstances surrounding her death as Luke never wanted to really speak of it, so Ess had not pressured him. Now she was wondering if it had to do with Luckas trying to recover his past or whatever their ‘renegotiation’ had been that she remembered being mentioned back in the bell tower in Newhaven the night she first met Lena. Ideas swam around in Ess’ mind, not quite sure what was going on, a part of her sympathizing with Jake for his obvious grief in losing the woman she figured out was of relation. Ess’ lips parted as if to speak but was not finding a point to join the conversation until Luckas retorted Jake’s words mentioning ‘Dani Rivers.’ Blinking in confusion, Ess looked up at Jake, mentally disliking how much taller he was now than her and how it would take some getting use to. “..Rivers....? As in...Crystal Rivers?....Crys?....Was she your ‘friend’ you told me about in the wolf pack?” Her expression was solemn, actually saddened by the words spoken, not liking how it seemed she was being dragged into their bickering and forced to look at past events, someone else’s memories with a sheer lack of facts and pure ignorance. “Luckas...what the hell is wrong with you? And...YOU?” She motioned between Luckas and Jake as she spoke. “I don’t understand what personal vendettas you two have with each other and I don’t appreciate being tossed into the mix like this. Am I suppose to turn on each of you or one of you? Ugh...” Ess’ brows narrowed, her lips pursed in annoyance. “Well...there will be no killing of either of you while I’m around...unless it’s by me!” She barked, partially joking but getting her point across. “I have no problems having a civil conversation or debate or whatever but you two need to relax while I’m around or I’ll kick both your asses.” Glancing back down at Tala, the wolf was wagging her tail in agreement, adding a happy bark. “Honestly...I would love to hear more about this Rivers and Lena..but I will not push the conversations on either of you...it’s not my business...nor will I judge either of you, as I would be just a hypocrite, no?”

“Whoa, gee...” Luckas mumbled, idly scratching the back of his head. “I don’t get why you people are so tense, seriously...” His tone was slightly confused even though he was obviously, once again, playing the whole thing off as a joke. “I thought we were being civil, I mean... I have no broken ribs and I can breathe... It’s pretty much the friendliest conversation we’ve had.” He said with a little shrug. “There wouldn’t even be much of a problem really, if Jake would just admit that he is a whiny little hypocrite.”
“Shut the hell up!” Jake cut him off, but instead of giving in to his impulses and jumping at Luckas he turned around and walked a few steps away.
Luckas sighed and went on as if there had been no interruption. “Whiny little hypocrite, who thinks he’s oh so much better than me even though, in reality, he’s done pretty much the same shit all his life... And this is just another example, really. I mean sure... I accidentally killed Lena and I may have attacked a few healers, but hey... I was out of my mind, literally, what’s your excuse for killing the Alpha and half a dozen other assassins, Jake? You had orders?”

Jake sighed softly, trying for the sake of not turning this into the worst possible situation, to breathe away some of his rage. As he leaned against a nearby tree he shook his head, his tone still a bit shaky as he spoke but considerably more composed. “We are nothing alike, Luckas. I had orders, yes... To execute traitors and Dani’s death... As you well know, was out of my hands the moment she neglected to tell me she was ill. And even so, unlike you, I paid for what I’ve done. I don’t make excuses for myself, or hide to get away with... Shit, as you put it. So, really, you can use any bit of my memories to try and compare the two of us, if that’s what you want... It won’t change the fact that you are what you are... and if I was anything like you, you would not be standing right now.”
Luckas snickered. “If that’s so... Then how come you are? I mean... I am like me, but still, I haven’t killed you have I? I could have. I think the line you try to place between you and me is remorse, but your remorse is selfish... It’s barely remorse and more like... Self-pity. I mean, you killed all those people, but really... You paid? And they didn’t? Funny how I’m the psycho and I respect life more than you.”

Jake raised an eyebrow at Luckas. “Would you like me to remind you of the reason you gave me when you could have taken my life?”
“I remember it, thank you, but that’s precisely my point.” Luckas muttered, a little bit of annoyance showing in his voice.
“I don’t see that as being the same thing, but I’d rather not get into this right now...” Jake replied, taking another forceful breath to calm his temper. “And you are twisting my words if you think I felt one bit of remorse for killing people who betrayed their own oaths... Some for coin, others for some stupid notion that saving their pathetic lives was worth the deaths of their family. I have no respect for those lives whatsoever, and I never claimed to. As for Dani, like I said; I paid. I’m still paying. I might never be done paying. And this is the kind of thing you would know nothing of... See... I made a choice I felt was wrong, and since I actually have something called a conscience, I am going to have to live with it. Because, you know, for some people killing someone they don’t want dead is actually a serious matter.” Jake fell silent for a moment after that, feeling as if he might as well be trying to lecture the tree behind Luckas and it would be more effective, and deciding he was done with the pointless debating. “Dani Rivers was Crys’ mother. She was the Alpha of the Wolfpack for a little over twenty five years and, at her own request, I poisoned her. Was supposed to be a failed attempt at killing her, but she was sick, and she didn’t tell me, so the nearly fatal poison became extremely fatal and she died three hours after I had already left. I was in Newhaven when she died.” He explained, turning his attention to Ess. “And yes, Crys was my friend. Not so sure about now though.” He sighed softly and nodded towards Luckas. “As for him... I don’t know what is it with the two of you and I’m not sure I want to know... I’ll just tell you what I told everyone else; I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything, Ess. You are family to me, and Twins only know how much I respect the Captain, but I honestly can see a day when I’ll just hate this guy more.”

“Hmph..” Ess began in response to Luckas’ comment on no broken ribs. “...True...I haven’t broken any furniture over your head today...” Ess nodded towards Jake as she continued. “...and I haven’t kicked you in the face, ...so all in all we seem to be doing pretty good.” Ess laughed, shaking her head at Luckas calling Jake ‘whiny’, wondering if he thought the same of her sometimes. She simply glared at Luckas when he said that, showing her non approval for the comment, and still she kept quiet as the men spoke. The glare remained upon her face when she heard mention of Luckas’ opportune time to kill Jake and some coded reason for not doing it. It took much strength to keep her mouth shut, not wanting to interrupt Jake as he continued.

Ess marveled at Jake’s restraint, as she fully expected mockery or outrage when Luckas spoke of pity, remorse, or respect of life...especially with the obvious distaste for Luckas in general. Ess looked over into Luckas’ black orbs and thought she recognized a hint of honest interest in Jake’s response as he spoke and she did wonder if Luckas understood all he was saying, even if he had not experienced it. Yes experience was a big part in learning, but Ess was almost in tears as she listened to Jake recall what had occurred, trying to explain as best as possible the difficult decision he had made. Never had Ess experienced such a choice and she felt her heart drop at the idea: Killing someone you did not wish to see dead. Looking between the two, silent as Jake spoke, she didn’t fully realize how she had approached Jake, and was standing by his side. Shaking her head slowly, her eyes glistened with the threat of tears, her own mind wondering if she would ever be faced with the choice and if she did, she couldn’t think of what reason that may ever possibly send her over the edge, to force her hand against her heart. It would have to be something dreaded to change her heart; but going against it, she felt she would rather die herself.

When Jake turned to address her, she found herself leaning against him, her head along his arm. “....Do you still care for Crys? Have you talked to her? I think you should...” Ess’ eyes were still sad but she smiled when Jake mentioned her as family, lightly squeezing his arm. “I’m not trying to change either of you, so if you two dislike one another, that is not my business. Just try to remember if it’s worth it in the end.” Taking a deep breath she stepped back from Jake, her eyes falling back to Tala as she continued.

“I was taught as a child that I was soulless...there was nothing to me..no substance...no reason to think I was special...I was a puppet for someone else to use.....eventually I was given reasons to think for myself. I discovered the truth about myself little by little, learning what was right and wrong...remembering some of what was lost that also aided me into the right direction. ..Most of it was a darker direction...but I still feel it was right..all the same....hate was something I needed...something that could destroy me if I didn’t release it and face it...something that made me stronger. Now I walk the line that separates the night and day...not partial to any particular side...but more a companion, one who understands both the light and the darkness and decides for herself what is best for her. Don’t get me wrong...I won’t let hate rule me..especially when I’ve seen what else life holds that fuels our strengths and our reasons for living. So, please believe me when I say I understand ‘Hate’, but again, make sure it’s worth it.”

Violet orbs flashed in a subtle strobe like motion, even resembling how lightning stretched across a darkened sky, as her own words reminded her of her brother. It was different though, as she wanted him dead. His actions had changed her heart, and his betrayal deserved nothing less than what was to come. Ess didn’t voice what she was thinking, but simply looked up at Luke with a mischievous smile, a soft rosy glow appearing at her cheeks.

Luckas was really actually silent for the first time that night, and the serious expression on his face wasn’t a playful one. He was paying close attention to the things being said, trying to ignore just a tiny bit of genuine jealousy he was feeling. If he was perfectly honest, he didn’t really see Jake as threat, more like an annoyance, and he really had no interest in seeing him dead and overall it just seemed like too much work to get rid of an annoyance. Not worth the trouble. When Ess finished speaking and he caught her expression it reminded him of what Zeke had told him about her brother; it made him mentally question whether he should let her know he’d seen him as he doubted he could talk her out of hunting him down.

Jake had flinched slightly at Ess’ questions about Crys, at first not quite answering and simply nodding as a response. He couldn’t help but feel amusement as she went on talking, not for her words in itself but for how they suddenly made him feel like he was a six year old who didn’t know any better all over again. When she finished speaking he answered the questions, giving a little shrug. “I’ve tried talking to Crys, but she’s really angry at me... And she’s awfully stubborn...” He smirked. “You know the type. Even if she does forgive me, it’s not going to happen so soon. And might involve some violence, depending on circumstances... Not everyone can control their temper as well as you can.” He teased.

Luckas stifled a laugh at the comment. “Wouldn’t that make the world a lovely place...” He played, still half lost in his own thoughts, before letting the seriousness in his expression disappear completely. “Well, Lady... Not that I don’t enjoy the tension and aggressiveness we got going here... Because I do enjoy some aggressiveness... But if you want I can go take a walk and come back later. I don’t think I have anything I’d be willing to discuss in front of the kids.” He said, nodding towards Jake.

Essence sighed, giving Jake a playful push. “I know who Crys is, silly and yes I think I do know the stubborn type.” She chuckled. “If she’s anywhere near as angry as I was then I’m sure she may even surpass my temper, and maybe you need another good ass kicking. Best advice I can give, is to just not give up. Giving up is almost the same as not caring. And...if you want I can have a chat with her, not to try to sway her per say, but maybe to help you understand better.” Ess shrugged. “Hey...some people have it coming...and you’re one to talk about tempers, Jakey. Besides.” Ess smirked, glancing over at Luckas. “I don’t have a quick temper...I just have a quick reaction to bullshit..” Her eyes lit up when she caught Luckas’ comment, slowly approaching him while glancing over her shoulder back at Jake. “Oh, I got a great Idea! See, right there is something you two actually agreed on...and what if I end up being your ‘common ground?’” Ess giggled, her face scrunching up in amusement. “...No? Too soon?”

Clearing her throat, Ess nodded to Luckas about going for a walk, noting and tucking away in her mind how he didn’t respond to any of which Jake had explained earlier and wondered, oddly enough, if he was ‘ok’. She wasn’t exactly sure what he was thinking about at the moment and decided he probably needed time for himself anyways. “I’m gonna have dinner in a couple hours if you want some Luckas, you know I’ll expect you later anywho.” Ess winked slowly at Luckas, smiling when Tala trotted over towards him, unexpectedly nuzzling his hand with her nose. “Aww...think Tala wants to stalk you.”

Jake sighed scratching the back of his head as he muttered. “I think it’s safe to say she’d be a bit angrier than you... So... I’m not going to turn down any type of help. I sure as hell need it, and I’m sure she’d talk to you.” He snickered. “You two can bond over my stupidity.” He joked.

Luckas snickered. “Oooh, can I play? I can write a book on Jake’s stupidity.” He said, rolling his eyes as Jake glared at him again. “Oh, yeah... I’m not allowed to bond with the blind one... Fine then.” He agreed, frowning at him. “Party pooper.” He laughed, nodding at Ess as she told him she expected him later. “Sure Lady... You know I never eat unless you feed me, right?” He joked, nodding at Tala and starting to walk off. “Come on, Tala... I haven’t stalked the Captain in a while...” He told the wolf, absolutely sure it wouldn’t be as easy to go by unnoticed with a very pregnant wolf following after him.