Cass glanced up at the clock and blinked in surprise. He hadnāt realized it was that late. Glancing over to Tsuki, her nose still buried deep in a book, he smiled to himself and quietly left the room. Heād let her have a bit more timeāit was a rare text on beings like her, on nephilim. He wondered if, by reading it, she would realize what he already knewāthat even among her own kind, she was special. Making his way to the kitchen, Cass pulled down the utensils that heād need to make dinner and selected some ingredients, seemingly at random, from the fridge. Theyād done this quite oftenāboth of them tended to lose track of time when either studying or training, and so he made her dinner so she didnāt have to manage something for herself when she got home. By now, heād learned pretty well what she liked and what she didnāt, so he decided on a bit of a surprise.
It had been a while since heād made an actual traditional Japanese meal, but he was still quite capable of it, and it wasnāt long before the rapid sounds of a knife chopping through several varieties of vegetable could be heard in the otherwise quiet apartment. Morgan and Asmodeus were both elsewhere, as they often were during this time of the day, and of course, she didnāt make any noise reading, unless she decided to take notes or something like that.
Tossing a bunch of things around in the wok over one of the gas burners, Cass hummed quietly to himself. It was a very old song, one made up by someone heād once called sister. That whole affair was still a mess in his head, and honestly, in his heart as well, but he knew heād done what he had to, and perhaps one day, she would understand, and forgive him for it. Perhaps he would, too. Shaking his head, he killed the heat and spiced the dish, setting it aside and starting on something else.
About forty-five minutes from the time heād left the library, he poked his head back in, noting that she did not seem to have moved much, if at all. āHey Tsuki. Dinner,ā he smiled and jerked his head towards the kitchen, where heād carefully set out the ceramics and utensils on the dining room table. It was a full breakfast, including mackerel, dashimaki, and tofu in a paper pot. āOr rather, breakfast for dinner, I suppose.ā
Tsukiyo furrowed her brows as she read the next line of text. She was reading a book on Nephilim, and what exactly that meant for her. There were several interpretations of what a Nephilim was, and she couldn't exactly pinpoint which one was particularly true. She shook her head silently. There was only one she could be; the offspring of an angel, or in this case, a fallen angel. She didn't glance up from her book when Caspar left, instead, keeping her eyes glued to certain passages before steadily turning the page. When she tired of it, she placed the book down, closing it gently before returning it to its proper place. She chose another book, this one on the previous lesson she was learning. Poison extracts and the various types of poisoning a demon could do.
She had witnessed a type of poisoning before, when Kazehana had been bitten back on Halloween. She still hadn't found that poison quite yet, though she didn't exactly know which demon bit Kazehana. Since she didn't have that information, she couldn't find an antidote. Before she knew it, Caspar stuck his head in through the door and mentioned something about dinner, or breakfast, she couldn't tell. She blinked, taking her eyes from the book to stare at the red-haired fallen angel. He jerked his head towards the kitchen and Tsukiyo smiled. Standing from her position on the floor, she placed the book down on the shelf and made her way towards the kitchen area.
"I hope it's not chili again, and I'd like to use the term Brinner" she stated, the smile turning into a grin, however; once she spotted what was on the menu, her eyes lit up. "Sometimes I wonder what Morgan and Asmodeus would do without you and your cooking," she stated. In a way, it was true. From what she had seen, when she was around training, Caspar had been the one cleaning or cooking while Asmodeus and Morgan either lingered around or disappeared. Though she will admit, she truly did enjoy his cooking. It was a lot better than her dad's, and admittedly Kazehana's as well. Though she would never tell her sister that for fear of breaking her heart.
āAre you suggesting that somethingās wrong with my chili? You wound me, Tsukiyo,ā Cass replied, laying a hand over his heart in jest. Still, though, he didnāt miss the fact that she was pleased, and it made him smile He took the seat across from her, picking a bit of rice from his bowl and starting in on the food. He was polite enough to wait until heād finished chewing before he answered the question, though, and he rolled his eyes. āYou knowā¦ Iām not sure. As is hopeless with anything that even smells domestic, and Morganās not much better, honestly, though I expect he could survive if it really came down to it. Heās the one who has to wash the dishes, so I know he can do that much.ā There was a fondness to his tone when he spoke of his brothers, but also a heavy dose of humor.
āMe, well, I just like it, strange as that seems. Thereās something satisfying about being able to accomplish something, instead of all the waiting.ā Cass was extraordinarily patient, but even he had to actually complete a task, however small, sometimes. He liked to think of it as keeping himself in balance. The Zen of household chores, or something.
"Oh? I didn't know words could wound you so deeply," she retorted back before shaking her head. She almost snorted at Caspar's statement about Asmodeus. "That's probably one of the reasons why he hangs around Kazehana so much," she muttered truthfully. Though she couldn't smell her sister, she knew Kazehana had a certain appeal about her that she couldn't help but feel a bit, smaller. It never really bothered her that much, and it was something she never really thought about. She smiled at the tone of Caspar's voice, noticing the fondness he had for his brethren. She knew that feeling all too well. She sighed softly as she quietly ate her food, picking at the left overs as she did so.
"Hey Caspar?" she started, lifting her eyes slowly to meet his. "I've been meaning to ask. You don't have to answer if it's too much of a personal question, but," she began before pausing, fidgeting in her spot a bit. She played with the hem of her shirt as she glanced away from him. He knew the first watcher, or at least that is what she recalled him saying, and she wanted to know a little bit about her. "What was the first Watcher like?"
He was inclined to laugh at her comment about her sister, but he could sense the unease underlying it. It was small, but present, and it made him a little sad. The funny thing was, if Kazehana had even the slightest hint that Tsuki felt that way, she would have been tripping over herself to correct it as quickly as possible. Maybe it was better that she didnāt, then, as that was definitely part of the point. He tried to think of something to say to soothe the worry a little, but before he could speak, she was asking him about Esther, and he smiled, nodding. It wasnāt the easiest subject to talk about, given everything that had happened, but he was more than willing to talk about it with her.
āEsther wasā¦ a lot like Kazehana, I suppose, if a bit less violent. She was also more confused, I think, because she was the first of the Annunaki, and her siblings, those with whom she might have shared her challenges, were unable to survive long past their births. She was a vibrant person, and had a way about her such that one knew that something about her was going to change the world. A little like you and Kaz that way, I suppose.ā He leaned an elbow on the table, using the hand to prop his chin up, and studied Tsuki quietly for a few seconds before he continued.
āI suppose she would have to be. Itās not just anyone who can find something to love in the devil himself.ā He sighed softly. āEsther was one of those people who let her love of everything that lived guide her more often than her mind, which was sharp, to be sure. Gabriel worried about her, and so the rest of us would check in on her pretty frequently. We became friends, and looking out for her somehow turned into the best part of my job. I learned a lot from Esther, and did what I could to help her figure out what it meant to be a Watcher. She met Lucifer when I wasnāt around, and by the time I knew about it, she was head-over-heels for him.ā
Tsukiyo smiled a bit when Caspar decided to indulge her question. As he spoke, she remained quiet, taking in everything that he stated with ease. So, it seemed that Esther was just like Kazehana in a way. That seemed to cause Tsukiyo to smile. She wondered, for a brief second, what it would have been like for her if she were more like her sister. What would it be if she were more confident, more opinionated, more open? Would she have accepted her heritage as she had, accepted the things she could do, could see? Or would she have refused them such as her sister had? These thoughts were crushed almost instantly. She knew better than to think such things. Not everyone was the same, and not everyone could be.
The world would be a dull and boring place if everyone was the same. She laughed softly at something Caspar stated. "I think Kaz has more of a chance of changing the world than I do. She's never one to give up and I admire that about her," she replied in a softer tone. Though something did catch her attention. Esther had fallen in love with Lucifer? Wasn't Lucifer the angel who was cast from heaven because of his jealousy of humans? "I suppose for some people, love really doesn't have to have a reason to choose whom they choose. It just happens. I mean, look at most of the people in the world. Some of them don't have to have a reason to be with each other, other than the simple fact that they enjoy each other's company," she responded.
She couldn't say much on that because she's never been in love herself. Not that she hadn't due to choice, but simply because she never really sought it. Love was something that never lingered too long on her mind, and quite honestly, she was afraid of it. Afraid because if there was a person out there she would love, would they love and accept her for who and what she was? She was rather content on being by herself for the majority of her life, no matter how long that would be, just as long as she had her family. And now, her friends were slowly becoming a part of her life that she really hadn't felt so alone. Caspar had taught her so much over the last few weeks, months, that she was happy to have them in her life.
"But I am sure everyone has their own opinions on it. I love you all just so you know," she stated with a light shake of her head. And she meant it. She really did love all of them with everything that she was. Asmodeus, Morgan, and even Caspar had a little place in her heart that was occupied with her father and Kazehana, however; her face tinged a bit pink when she thought about it. Caspar had always been easy to speak with, to train with, and there was something in the back of her mind that was trying to tell her the reason why, but she couldn't understand it. She wanted to, but she couldn't.
That was an interesting way of looking at it, he supposed. There was something of the flavor of destiny to the whole thing, honestly, and heād certainly thought so at the time. Foolish as heād been, heād assumed that Esther would somehow redeem him, the lost brother. But some people were beyond redemption. He did not doubt that some part of Lucifer had loved her, but it was not enough. And it did not extend to his child. The child had been the catalyst for so much, and still would be, he knew that much. So much of what they did, what they all did moved in circles of fate that could never be chance, and he wondered if that weave of destiny would ever leave a hole wide enough for a little happiness to crawl through.
āYou may well be right about that,ā he said, āand sometimes, it is tragic.ā He could not help but chuckle at her proclamation, and the hint of color dusting her cheeks. She really was an innocent, and frankly, he wondered if it made him a horrible person that he found it so adorable. He was tempted to poke fun at her for it, but he sensed that it was not the easiest thing for her to say, for someone who had thought herself generally free of superfluous attachment. Sheād had her family, and in effect, the three of them, her friends, had doubled and half again the number of people she cared for in such a way. In a sense, it was very humbling, to think that they had managed to do so. Tsuki was guarded, and a bit reservedāsuch people did not always readily open up to others.
āAnd I you,ā he replied with a smile, she words soft. Their meaning was ambiguousāhe could not lie, but that did not mean he had to be explicit in the truths he told, after all. āIāll not speak for my brothers, but Iām sure they do as well. Fate is an interesting thing, Tsukiyo, but I do not think that everything is determined by it. I think in us, there is always a choice about love, and that is whether or not we accept it. That can make all the difference, sometimes.ā Esther had accepted it. Lucifer had not. He knew well just how much of a difference that had made.
The smile returned to her face as the heat resided, allowing her face to retain it's natural rosy hue. She nodded her head slightly. She'll sort through these feelings eventually, but for now she was content at what she had right now. Her friends, her family, it was all she could really want at the moment. In a moment, Tsukiyo stood from her spot, collecting her plate and going around to collect his as well before she paused beside him. She smiled before leaning over, swiping her lips softly against his cheek in the process before standing back to her full height (which wasn't very much).
"Thanks Cass," was the only thing she spoke as she left to the kitchen, washing her dishes before returning to the library. She could feel her heart beating faster against her chest and she wanted to take her mind off of it by doing the only thing she knew how: reading.
It had been a while since heād made an actual traditional Japanese meal, but he was still quite capable of it, and it wasnāt long before the rapid sounds of a knife chopping through several varieties of vegetable could be heard in the otherwise quiet apartment. Morgan and Asmodeus were both elsewhere, as they often were during this time of the day, and of course, she didnāt make any noise reading, unless she decided to take notes or something like that.
Tossing a bunch of things around in the wok over one of the gas burners, Cass hummed quietly to himself. It was a very old song, one made up by someone heād once called sister. That whole affair was still a mess in his head, and honestly, in his heart as well, but he knew heād done what he had to, and perhaps one day, she would understand, and forgive him for it. Perhaps he would, too. Shaking his head, he killed the heat and spiced the dish, setting it aside and starting on something else.
About forty-five minutes from the time heād left the library, he poked his head back in, noting that she did not seem to have moved much, if at all. āHey Tsuki. Dinner,ā he smiled and jerked his head towards the kitchen, where heād carefully set out the ceramics and utensils on the dining room table. It was a full breakfast, including mackerel, dashimaki, and tofu in a paper pot. āOr rather, breakfast for dinner, I suppose.ā
Tsukiyo furrowed her brows as she read the next line of text. She was reading a book on Nephilim, and what exactly that meant for her. There were several interpretations of what a Nephilim was, and she couldn't exactly pinpoint which one was particularly true. She shook her head silently. There was only one she could be; the offspring of an angel, or in this case, a fallen angel. She didn't glance up from her book when Caspar left, instead, keeping her eyes glued to certain passages before steadily turning the page. When she tired of it, she placed the book down, closing it gently before returning it to its proper place. She chose another book, this one on the previous lesson she was learning. Poison extracts and the various types of poisoning a demon could do.
She had witnessed a type of poisoning before, when Kazehana had been bitten back on Halloween. She still hadn't found that poison quite yet, though she didn't exactly know which demon bit Kazehana. Since she didn't have that information, she couldn't find an antidote. Before she knew it, Caspar stuck his head in through the door and mentioned something about dinner, or breakfast, she couldn't tell. She blinked, taking her eyes from the book to stare at the red-haired fallen angel. He jerked his head towards the kitchen and Tsukiyo smiled. Standing from her position on the floor, she placed the book down on the shelf and made her way towards the kitchen area.
"I hope it's not chili again, and I'd like to use the term Brinner" she stated, the smile turning into a grin, however; once she spotted what was on the menu, her eyes lit up. "Sometimes I wonder what Morgan and Asmodeus would do without you and your cooking," she stated. In a way, it was true. From what she had seen, when she was around training, Caspar had been the one cleaning or cooking while Asmodeus and Morgan either lingered around or disappeared. Though she will admit, she truly did enjoy his cooking. It was a lot better than her dad's, and admittedly Kazehana's as well. Though she would never tell her sister that for fear of breaking her heart.
āAre you suggesting that somethingās wrong with my chili? You wound me, Tsukiyo,ā Cass replied, laying a hand over his heart in jest. Still, though, he didnāt miss the fact that she was pleased, and it made him smile He took the seat across from her, picking a bit of rice from his bowl and starting in on the food. He was polite enough to wait until heād finished chewing before he answered the question, though, and he rolled his eyes. āYou knowā¦ Iām not sure. As is hopeless with anything that even smells domestic, and Morganās not much better, honestly, though I expect he could survive if it really came down to it. Heās the one who has to wash the dishes, so I know he can do that much.ā There was a fondness to his tone when he spoke of his brothers, but also a heavy dose of humor.
āMe, well, I just like it, strange as that seems. Thereās something satisfying about being able to accomplish something, instead of all the waiting.ā Cass was extraordinarily patient, but even he had to actually complete a task, however small, sometimes. He liked to think of it as keeping himself in balance. The Zen of household chores, or something.
"Oh? I didn't know words could wound you so deeply," she retorted back before shaking her head. She almost snorted at Caspar's statement about Asmodeus. "That's probably one of the reasons why he hangs around Kazehana so much," she muttered truthfully. Though she couldn't smell her sister, she knew Kazehana had a certain appeal about her that she couldn't help but feel a bit, smaller. It never really bothered her that much, and it was something she never really thought about. She smiled at the tone of Caspar's voice, noticing the fondness he had for his brethren. She knew that feeling all too well. She sighed softly as she quietly ate her food, picking at the left overs as she did so.
"Hey Caspar?" she started, lifting her eyes slowly to meet his. "I've been meaning to ask. You don't have to answer if it's too much of a personal question, but," she began before pausing, fidgeting in her spot a bit. She played with the hem of her shirt as she glanced away from him. He knew the first watcher, or at least that is what she recalled him saying, and she wanted to know a little bit about her. "What was the first Watcher like?"
He was inclined to laugh at her comment about her sister, but he could sense the unease underlying it. It was small, but present, and it made him a little sad. The funny thing was, if Kazehana had even the slightest hint that Tsuki felt that way, she would have been tripping over herself to correct it as quickly as possible. Maybe it was better that she didnāt, then, as that was definitely part of the point. He tried to think of something to say to soothe the worry a little, but before he could speak, she was asking him about Esther, and he smiled, nodding. It wasnāt the easiest subject to talk about, given everything that had happened, but he was more than willing to talk about it with her.
āEsther wasā¦ a lot like Kazehana, I suppose, if a bit less violent. She was also more confused, I think, because she was the first of the Annunaki, and her siblings, those with whom she might have shared her challenges, were unable to survive long past their births. She was a vibrant person, and had a way about her such that one knew that something about her was going to change the world. A little like you and Kaz that way, I suppose.ā He leaned an elbow on the table, using the hand to prop his chin up, and studied Tsuki quietly for a few seconds before he continued.
āI suppose she would have to be. Itās not just anyone who can find something to love in the devil himself.ā He sighed softly. āEsther was one of those people who let her love of everything that lived guide her more often than her mind, which was sharp, to be sure. Gabriel worried about her, and so the rest of us would check in on her pretty frequently. We became friends, and looking out for her somehow turned into the best part of my job. I learned a lot from Esther, and did what I could to help her figure out what it meant to be a Watcher. She met Lucifer when I wasnāt around, and by the time I knew about it, she was head-over-heels for him.ā
Tsukiyo smiled a bit when Caspar decided to indulge her question. As he spoke, she remained quiet, taking in everything that he stated with ease. So, it seemed that Esther was just like Kazehana in a way. That seemed to cause Tsukiyo to smile. She wondered, for a brief second, what it would have been like for her if she were more like her sister. What would it be if she were more confident, more opinionated, more open? Would she have accepted her heritage as she had, accepted the things she could do, could see? Or would she have refused them such as her sister had? These thoughts were crushed almost instantly. She knew better than to think such things. Not everyone was the same, and not everyone could be.
The world would be a dull and boring place if everyone was the same. She laughed softly at something Caspar stated. "I think Kaz has more of a chance of changing the world than I do. She's never one to give up and I admire that about her," she replied in a softer tone. Though something did catch her attention. Esther had fallen in love with Lucifer? Wasn't Lucifer the angel who was cast from heaven because of his jealousy of humans? "I suppose for some people, love really doesn't have to have a reason to choose whom they choose. It just happens. I mean, look at most of the people in the world. Some of them don't have to have a reason to be with each other, other than the simple fact that they enjoy each other's company," she responded.
She couldn't say much on that because she's never been in love herself. Not that she hadn't due to choice, but simply because she never really sought it. Love was something that never lingered too long on her mind, and quite honestly, she was afraid of it. Afraid because if there was a person out there she would love, would they love and accept her for who and what she was? She was rather content on being by herself for the majority of her life, no matter how long that would be, just as long as she had her family. And now, her friends were slowly becoming a part of her life that she really hadn't felt so alone. Caspar had taught her so much over the last few weeks, months, that she was happy to have them in her life.
"But I am sure everyone has their own opinions on it. I love you all just so you know," she stated with a light shake of her head. And she meant it. She really did love all of them with everything that she was. Asmodeus, Morgan, and even Caspar had a little place in her heart that was occupied with her father and Kazehana, however; her face tinged a bit pink when she thought about it. Caspar had always been easy to speak with, to train with, and there was something in the back of her mind that was trying to tell her the reason why, but she couldn't understand it. She wanted to, but she couldn't.
That was an interesting way of looking at it, he supposed. There was something of the flavor of destiny to the whole thing, honestly, and heād certainly thought so at the time. Foolish as heād been, heād assumed that Esther would somehow redeem him, the lost brother. But some people were beyond redemption. He did not doubt that some part of Lucifer had loved her, but it was not enough. And it did not extend to his child. The child had been the catalyst for so much, and still would be, he knew that much. So much of what they did, what they all did moved in circles of fate that could never be chance, and he wondered if that weave of destiny would ever leave a hole wide enough for a little happiness to crawl through.
āYou may well be right about that,ā he said, āand sometimes, it is tragic.ā He could not help but chuckle at her proclamation, and the hint of color dusting her cheeks. She really was an innocent, and frankly, he wondered if it made him a horrible person that he found it so adorable. He was tempted to poke fun at her for it, but he sensed that it was not the easiest thing for her to say, for someone who had thought herself generally free of superfluous attachment. Sheād had her family, and in effect, the three of them, her friends, had doubled and half again the number of people she cared for in such a way. In a sense, it was very humbling, to think that they had managed to do so. Tsuki was guarded, and a bit reservedāsuch people did not always readily open up to others.
āAnd I you,ā he replied with a smile, she words soft. Their meaning was ambiguousāhe could not lie, but that did not mean he had to be explicit in the truths he told, after all. āIāll not speak for my brothers, but Iām sure they do as well. Fate is an interesting thing, Tsukiyo, but I do not think that everything is determined by it. I think in us, there is always a choice about love, and that is whether or not we accept it. That can make all the difference, sometimes.ā Esther had accepted it. Lucifer had not. He knew well just how much of a difference that had made.
The smile returned to her face as the heat resided, allowing her face to retain it's natural rosy hue. She nodded her head slightly. She'll sort through these feelings eventually, but for now she was content at what she had right now. Her friends, her family, it was all she could really want at the moment. In a moment, Tsukiyo stood from her spot, collecting her plate and going around to collect his as well before she paused beside him. She smiled before leaning over, swiping her lips softly against his cheek in the process before standing back to her full height (which wasn't very much).
"Thanks Cass," was the only thing she spoke as she left to the kitchen, washing her dishes before returning to the library. She could feel her heart beating faster against her chest and she wanted to take her mind off of it by doing the only thing she knew how: reading.