The long, sleek black car pulled up to the front gates of Cross Academy, carrying with it a woman who had not been there for many years. The valet opened the door for her, and Nikki von Nacht stepped out. The man offered to get her bag for her, which she ultimately refused. One hundred years, and she still wasn't used to the treatment that came with her surname. She took a deep breath, and then started walking. This was not the time to be nostalgic.
She easily found her way to the dorms, and she smiled at the young Noble who answered the door. The boy's eyes went rather wide when he saw who it was, and he could only nod slowly when she asked for her eldest son. She was slightly amused at how little the setup had changed over the years, glancing around as the boy went straight to Balthasar's room to inform him of his visitor.
Balthasar was an honest man, even with himself, and he knew that his behavior for the past two days had been somewhat unbecoming of him. He wasā¦ the word for it was moping, honestly, but there was little else to do. As always, the others had the information side of things well handled without him, and there was nothing to go fight at the moment, so he was about as useful as a sack of stones. It gave him too much time to stew in his own thoughts. How could he have been so easily fooled? He knew he wasnāt the sort of person who saw deception wherever he looked. He knew he tended to want to see the best in people, to give them the benefit of the doubt. Just as he knew that he was forgiving enough that it was sometimes a problem.
He was forgiving her now, little by little. He believed that she thought she had to do what she did, or that it was for the best, because he had to. If he didnāt, the world simply ceased to make any sense at all. That she was mistaken about the right thing wasnāt so great a crimeā¦ he was sure most of them had been, at one time or another. It didnāt make things hurt any less, mostly because he still felt burdened with his own intense guilt. Balthasar had learned a long time ago how to forgive other people. But heād never quite learned how to forgive himself. He could still name every one of his failures, large and small, and at times like this, he was inclined to dwell on them.
The knock at his door stirred him from his ruminations, and he ran his hands through his hair a few times so that he looked presentable at least, and when he opened it to see the head of the residence hall, he managed a wan smile, at least until the man explained that his mother was here to see him. Part of Balthasar was happy about this, and the other partā¦ just wasnāt sure he could handle any more right now. So it was with reservation in his tread that he made his way out to see her. āErā¦ hi, mom.ā he stood there a bit awkwardly, unsure of how to handle this, because he knew she was here for Yuki, and probably really upset, as she had every right to be. Heād never been good at dealing with that sort of thing, though.
Nikki's eyebrows rose slightly, and despite the situation, she found herself trying to hold back a smile. She only somewhat failed, causing a slight smile to creep over her face as she regarded her son silently for a second. Her hands were on her hips as she stated, "Now, really, Balthasar, is that any way to greet your mother?"
She walked over to her son, pulling him into a hug. It had been too long since she'd seen him last, and she found herself wondering [yet again] where her little boy had gone. He'd been forced to grow up far too fast in this world, and she didn't like it. Still, she had other matters to attend to. She stepped back from her son, running a hand through his hair.
"Oh Bal, you look like Hell. Do you need to talk about it?"
Nikki was well aware of her son's tendency to let others use him as a venting outlet, someone to listen to them, but he never did it himself, at least, not to his siblings or cousins. She smiled slightly. Of course, that was what mothers were for.
He swallowed thickly, returning his motherās embrace gently. It wasnāt exactly that he was afraid of breaking her, onlyā¦ he kind of was. Everything was delicate to someone like him, at least on the days like today, when the dark part of him simmered so near the surface, the part of him that called for the submission of all else and the free exercise of his power. Heād never been like thatāhis parents had raised him to be kind and tolerant and understanding, to respect others and life itself. But sometimes, it felt like there was another him, living somewhere deep in his bones, that didnāt care about any of that. It was harder to keep away when his usual self felt so weak. That part that wanted to destroy, to possessā¦ to rule. It scared him half to death.
He smiled tightly, but it didnāt reach his eyes, and they both knew it. āThere are more important things to talk about than my state of mind, mother.ā He didnāt have any right to think of or do anything else until she was back with them. His sisterā¦ and her secret, one which weighed heavily on his heart. How hard would she fight Freyrās control, knowing what she knew about the duration of the rest of her life? He thought heād been able to get through to her a little, when they spoke, but how long could that really stand up against whatever this serum was supposed to be able to do to her?
Balthasar wanted to tell his mother, just like heād practically needed to tell his father during their conversation two days ago, but he couldnāt. He couldnāt do that to Yuki. She should not have to come back only to be confronted about itāand she would come back. Gods above, if it cost him everything he had, she would come back. He sighed softly through his nose, leading his mother to the guest quarters that had been prepared for her. āAlden thinks he has a lead, but itās more likely that sheāll come here before we can find her wherever they have her,ā he said quietly, pushing upon the door to the suite of rooms.
Nikki sighed through her nose. Ever Jasper's son...Still, she'd learned a long time ago not to push him. When he needed to talk, he would. So instead, she nodded to his final comment. "I know. What Kisuke did to my daughter has not gone unnoticed to me. We also had contemplated the use of the serum against her, that's why we kept her here. Sadly, it would seem that we underestimated the Pantheon, and it wouldn't be the first time we've done so."
She sighed again, looking tired. "Yuki will return, and not by her own volition. She won't have a choice. There is always a chance that someone could break through to her, but..." The end of her statement hung unspoken in the air. It was the last thing she wanted to suggest was that her daughter die, but at the same time, she knew how Yuki was. Yuki would not want others to die for her, or by her own hand.
"If it comes down to it, there can be no hesitance, Balthasar, by any of you."
āIt wasnāt only the two of you that underestimated them,ā Balthasar said sadly, but he went no further into the topic. Heād given even his father only the most basic details on Elizabeth, including who she claimed to be her father, but other than that, he had spoken of it to nobody. Everyone knew enough. Besides, there really wasnāt any reason to do so, not when more important matters still needed to be resolved.
His motherās words were not the most reassuring, but he knew they were honest, and he sighed, the look on his face switching to a deep, open woundedness. āI know, butā¦ I wouldnāt be able to do it, mother. Zero wouldnāt either, and Iād be surprised if Ary or Leo could.ā It wasnāt the best news, but it was the truth, certainly. It was, as it so often seemed to be, all he could really give.
It did not surprise her one bit to hear the Kuragaris' names thrown in there. Leora was still inexperienced in the ways of war, and Zero...well, that was quite a different matter altogether, and Nikki certainly understood it. Nikki reached across the expanse between them, taking her son's hand in hers. She looked at it for a second silently, remembering a time when it had been smaller than hers. That was true no longer.
"Your brother has never been made for battle, he simply doesn't have it in him to physically wound another person, even when faced with a life or death situation. Raising a blade against someone is never an easy thing, even less so if it is someone close to you. But think of it this way. If she is not stopped, and she ends up hurting, or even killing, one of you, and then is able to regain control, how do you think she would feel? Yuki would not be able to handle that, regardless of whether or not it was her fault."
She stopped then. It was a discussion for another time, perhaps. She smiled at her son ruefully, adding as an afterthought, "If you ever need to talk about her, you can come to me. I understand that well enough to know what you're going through. And do me a favor, Bal. Stop blaming yourself. And tell Zero that I would like to speak with him."
She easily found her way to the dorms, and she smiled at the young Noble who answered the door. The boy's eyes went rather wide when he saw who it was, and he could only nod slowly when she asked for her eldest son. She was slightly amused at how little the setup had changed over the years, glancing around as the boy went straight to Balthasar's room to inform him of his visitor.
Balthasar was an honest man, even with himself, and he knew that his behavior for the past two days had been somewhat unbecoming of him. He wasā¦ the word for it was moping, honestly, but there was little else to do. As always, the others had the information side of things well handled without him, and there was nothing to go fight at the moment, so he was about as useful as a sack of stones. It gave him too much time to stew in his own thoughts. How could he have been so easily fooled? He knew he wasnāt the sort of person who saw deception wherever he looked. He knew he tended to want to see the best in people, to give them the benefit of the doubt. Just as he knew that he was forgiving enough that it was sometimes a problem.
He was forgiving her now, little by little. He believed that she thought she had to do what she did, or that it was for the best, because he had to. If he didnāt, the world simply ceased to make any sense at all. That she was mistaken about the right thing wasnāt so great a crimeā¦ he was sure most of them had been, at one time or another. It didnāt make things hurt any less, mostly because he still felt burdened with his own intense guilt. Balthasar had learned a long time ago how to forgive other people. But heād never quite learned how to forgive himself. He could still name every one of his failures, large and small, and at times like this, he was inclined to dwell on them.
The knock at his door stirred him from his ruminations, and he ran his hands through his hair a few times so that he looked presentable at least, and when he opened it to see the head of the residence hall, he managed a wan smile, at least until the man explained that his mother was here to see him. Part of Balthasar was happy about this, and the other partā¦ just wasnāt sure he could handle any more right now. So it was with reservation in his tread that he made his way out to see her. āErā¦ hi, mom.ā he stood there a bit awkwardly, unsure of how to handle this, because he knew she was here for Yuki, and probably really upset, as she had every right to be. Heād never been good at dealing with that sort of thing, though.
Nikki's eyebrows rose slightly, and despite the situation, she found herself trying to hold back a smile. She only somewhat failed, causing a slight smile to creep over her face as she regarded her son silently for a second. Her hands were on her hips as she stated, "Now, really, Balthasar, is that any way to greet your mother?"
She walked over to her son, pulling him into a hug. It had been too long since she'd seen him last, and she found herself wondering [yet again] where her little boy had gone. He'd been forced to grow up far too fast in this world, and she didn't like it. Still, she had other matters to attend to. She stepped back from her son, running a hand through his hair.
"Oh Bal, you look like Hell. Do you need to talk about it?"
Nikki was well aware of her son's tendency to let others use him as a venting outlet, someone to listen to them, but he never did it himself, at least, not to his siblings or cousins. She smiled slightly. Of course, that was what mothers were for.
He swallowed thickly, returning his motherās embrace gently. It wasnāt exactly that he was afraid of breaking her, onlyā¦ he kind of was. Everything was delicate to someone like him, at least on the days like today, when the dark part of him simmered so near the surface, the part of him that called for the submission of all else and the free exercise of his power. Heād never been like thatāhis parents had raised him to be kind and tolerant and understanding, to respect others and life itself. But sometimes, it felt like there was another him, living somewhere deep in his bones, that didnāt care about any of that. It was harder to keep away when his usual self felt so weak. That part that wanted to destroy, to possessā¦ to rule. It scared him half to death.
He smiled tightly, but it didnāt reach his eyes, and they both knew it. āThere are more important things to talk about than my state of mind, mother.ā He didnāt have any right to think of or do anything else until she was back with them. His sisterā¦ and her secret, one which weighed heavily on his heart. How hard would she fight Freyrās control, knowing what she knew about the duration of the rest of her life? He thought heād been able to get through to her a little, when they spoke, but how long could that really stand up against whatever this serum was supposed to be able to do to her?
Balthasar wanted to tell his mother, just like heād practically needed to tell his father during their conversation two days ago, but he couldnāt. He couldnāt do that to Yuki. She should not have to come back only to be confronted about itāand she would come back. Gods above, if it cost him everything he had, she would come back. He sighed softly through his nose, leading his mother to the guest quarters that had been prepared for her. āAlden thinks he has a lead, but itās more likely that sheāll come here before we can find her wherever they have her,ā he said quietly, pushing upon the door to the suite of rooms.
Nikki sighed through her nose. Ever Jasper's son...Still, she'd learned a long time ago not to push him. When he needed to talk, he would. So instead, she nodded to his final comment. "I know. What Kisuke did to my daughter has not gone unnoticed to me. We also had contemplated the use of the serum against her, that's why we kept her here. Sadly, it would seem that we underestimated the Pantheon, and it wouldn't be the first time we've done so."
She sighed again, looking tired. "Yuki will return, and not by her own volition. She won't have a choice. There is always a chance that someone could break through to her, but..." The end of her statement hung unspoken in the air. It was the last thing she wanted to suggest was that her daughter die, but at the same time, she knew how Yuki was. Yuki would not want others to die for her, or by her own hand.
"If it comes down to it, there can be no hesitance, Balthasar, by any of you."
āIt wasnāt only the two of you that underestimated them,ā Balthasar said sadly, but he went no further into the topic. Heād given even his father only the most basic details on Elizabeth, including who she claimed to be her father, but other than that, he had spoken of it to nobody. Everyone knew enough. Besides, there really wasnāt any reason to do so, not when more important matters still needed to be resolved.
His motherās words were not the most reassuring, but he knew they were honest, and he sighed, the look on his face switching to a deep, open woundedness. āI know, butā¦ I wouldnāt be able to do it, mother. Zero wouldnāt either, and Iād be surprised if Ary or Leo could.ā It wasnāt the best news, but it was the truth, certainly. It was, as it so often seemed to be, all he could really give.
It did not surprise her one bit to hear the Kuragaris' names thrown in there. Leora was still inexperienced in the ways of war, and Zero...well, that was quite a different matter altogether, and Nikki certainly understood it. Nikki reached across the expanse between them, taking her son's hand in hers. She looked at it for a second silently, remembering a time when it had been smaller than hers. That was true no longer.
"Your brother has never been made for battle, he simply doesn't have it in him to physically wound another person, even when faced with a life or death situation. Raising a blade against someone is never an easy thing, even less so if it is someone close to you. But think of it this way. If she is not stopped, and she ends up hurting, or even killing, one of you, and then is able to regain control, how do you think she would feel? Yuki would not be able to handle that, regardless of whether or not it was her fault."
She stopped then. It was a discussion for another time, perhaps. She smiled at her son ruefully, adding as an afterthought, "If you ever need to talk about her, you can come to me. I understand that well enough to know what you're going through. And do me a favor, Bal. Stop blaming yourself. And tell Zero that I would like to speak with him."