Balthasar stretchedāheād been napping in the sun for a while there, trying to enjoy the last touches of late fall before winter overtook the campus in full. It was hard to enjoy anything at the moment, but he was serious when heād told Alaricaāhe needed to remind himself of the good things in the world periodically in order to stay himself. Good things, like naps in the sunshine. His muscles loosened as he moved them around a little, all the aches of the previous day gone. Or wellā¦ at least the physical ones.
Yuki had shown up again yesterday. This time with a small army of Level Eās and no Freyr. At least this time, nobody had been injured to the point of near death. Leo had sustained a pretty bad wound from Yuki late in the confrontation, though, and Balthasar had been prevented from stopping his fleeing sister by the need to hold Alden back. Without any warning or preparation and in the heat of battle, the potent smell of his sisterās blood had nearly taken him over the edge of his control, and Balthasar was one of the few that understood the reason for this. Alden was nearly always starving, because of the nature of his abilities. Where most of them could switch things on and off as needed, Alden was just constantly running, and it wasnāt easy for him.
Thoughā¦ even Helen had been distracted by the smell, and that was probably because she looked about as starved as a junkyard dog, too. Sheād upped her consumption of blood pills, but sheād been exhausted and malnourished even before sheād given up so much of her blood to save Ary, and Balthasar knew from experience that there was only so much the pills could replace in such a short time. He was amazed that the girl could still stand and fight, let alone run the infirmary by herself and function as Aryanās assistant.
They were slowly falling apart, and when not from the physical wounds, from the motional ones. Freyr was an adroit strategist, Balthasar had to give him that. Heād set out to hurt them, and hurting them he was, but perhaps none quite so badly as Zero. Which was perhaps why the eldest von Nacht son found himself heading to where the eldest Kuragari wasāin this case, the music room. It seemed to be a common thread in their family, to take solace from such things. He found his friend plucking idly at the strings of what had once been his motherās violin, gifted to her ironically enough by Balthasarās own father. They were always connected, these people he loved so dearly.
āI suppose you know, donāt you?ā he said by way of introduction, taking a seat facing the wrong way on the piano bench, and crossing his arms over his chest. He referred, of course, to Yukiās secret. He could see itāthough Zero was unmistakably in love with his sister, and part of that sadness was because of her current state, there was something else there. Balthasar could only see it because he felt it, too. And unlike anyone else who might observe its presence, he could actually identify it.
For what seemed the umpteenth time that day, Zero sighed, stretching his limbs out as they popped in random places. He began plucking at the violin, the one that once belonged to his mother, and it brought a mournful smile to his face. He missed playing, but most of all, he missed playing with his family. He missed the music they could all produce together, because like their fathers and mothers before them, they were all gifted in some instrument or another. He sighed, pushing those thoughts away as he recalled yesterday. She was there again, attacking her family as a pack of Level E's descended upon the field. She managed to wound his sister, and that was never a good thing.
Alden had to be restrained by Balthasar, something Zero was silently grateful for. He didn't want to have to harm his younger brother to protect his sister. Because he would have. As much as saving Yuki meant to him, he couldn't allow anyone else to be hurt because of her. He had managed to get Leora off of the field, tending to her wound before he allowed anyone else near her. The twins had control of their thirst, thanks to their human sides, but they were still susceptible to the scent. At least he thought they were. They had never shown any interest before in taking blood from anyone else, and he was pretty sure that if there was one source of blood Alarica wanted, it definitely wasn't his sister's.
He sighed once more, plucking the strings still before he went to tune the instrument. Once he set it to the tone he wanted, he pulled the bow across the strings and frowned at the sound it elicited. It wasn't the same note that he used to play, though it was. Perhaps he just needed to practice more often. He hadn't played in the last few months, and he was sure he was getting rusty. The light in his eyes were dimmed still, fading his eyes from the light, sea-foam green to a dull, almost gray color. It was starting to take its toll on him, the battle, her. And he knew most people could see it. He wasn't all too surprised to hear Balthasar's voice, and he turned to spot his cousin. He offered a small smile, but it still did not reach his features.
"It's not fair," he spoke. If one did not know the circumstances, they might have considered his statement a bit childish, and with no room to be spoken, however; he meant it. It wasn't fair that she only had fifty more years of life, that she had had whatever possibility for a longer life, stolen from her by that man. It wasn't fair that he loved her, and he was going to lose her no matter what happened. He was either going to lose her to Freyr, and his twisted mind games, or he was going to lose her to this disease, this whatever it was that Kisuke had did to her.
āNo,ā Balthasar agreed, leaning up against a wall and crossing his arms over his chest, āit isnāt.ā He was well aware of the injustice of it all, and it still rankled him to believe that such a person as Kisuke Sou had had any influence on his sisterās life whatsoever, especially something so profound. How anyone could do such things to anyone else, let alone their own child, eluded him entirely. It was hard for him to even imagine, truly.
āBut Iāll tell you what I told her: your mother is right. As long as those fifty years are the best fifty years they can be, theyāll be enough. Even I can see how much the two of you care about each other. Even ifā¦ even if your time is limitedā¦ hold onto that with everything youāve got, because we don't all get it, Zero. Itās worth treasuring, without tainting it with thoughts of what might otherwise have been.ā They couldnāt spend even a day of those fifty years being sad about how they wouldnāt have moreāthey just had to seize that time for everything it was worth. Most humans got less time than that, and nobody would deny that humans were capable of living full, worthwhile lives. At least, he didnāt think anyone would. He certainly didnāt think they were incapable. Sometimes, they seemed to grasp things that his own kind couldnāt see.
And whatever happiness Yuki and Zero managed to find for themselvesā¦ it would be more than Balthasar had. He couldnāt say he resented them, because heād never even dream of it. He wanted them to be as happy as possible, and heād give anything he had for it to be so. Butā¦ part of him ached a little, for lack of that same experience. He was still young by the standards of his kind, he supposed, but he was beginning to doubt heād ever get something like they had. In his youth, nobody had seen anything but his name, and in the end, even Elizabeth had only wanted his blood. At leastā¦ at least Yuki got to have better than that. So much betterāheād always be grateful to Zero for that, for giving his sister that chance.
Zero listened quietly as his older cousin spoke, and a small smile tugged upon his lips. "Mom always had a way with words, and it seems that they rub off on you too," he spoke, a light scoff escaping him in the process. It was perhaps the reason why he always sought Balthasar for council when his mother wasn't around. The two were alike in so many ways, that it frightened Zero a bit to know that there was another of his mother out there. But it wasn't such a bad thing, because if he wasn't, Zero wouldn't know how to handle the current situation. Balthasar was right. Whatever time they had together, when they got her back, they should use to make it the best years of their life.
But still, the dread still crept within him. What was he going to do once she was gone? Life without her wasn't a life at all, and he couldn't imagine himself living on, a thousand years even after her death. There was just no meaning for it. He would not tell his cousin that though, and instead, allowed the smile to remain. "See, now that's where you're wrong. We all do get it. There already is someone who loves you for who you are, not your title, not your blood, but just for you. Some of us are just too blind to see that," he spoke. At least Yuki loved him, at least he loved her. That was all that mattered. And he knew with that statement, his older cousin wouldn't understand, and that was how he wanted it to be.
In due time, maybe he'd really see the one who loved him for all that he was, just as he could see Yuki and love her for all that she was. Noble or not, experiment or not, he loved her not because of her status, but because of who she was to him and what she meant to him. That was all that would ever matter. "Thanks, Balthasar. I guess that's all I really needed to hear. When we get her back, not a day will pass by that I will not cherish it, I promise you that," he spoke, determination laced with a promise, covering his voice.
Balthasar was honestly perplexed by part of what his cousin said, for he could think of no such person, at least not in the way he meant the words. Perhaps they referred to different senses in which one could be loved, or perhaps Zero was indicating something about the future. It didnāt really matter, anyway. The important part was that his words seemed to have helped his cousin a bit, and that was what heād intended. āWellā¦ good. Okay, then. No giving up until sheās back, and after thatā¦ still no giving up, and a lot of living. Sounds like a plan to me.ā He nodded his satisfaction, and matched his friendās smile.
āYouāre welcome, Zero. Your motherās a very wise womanāIām glad to be thought of as like her. And Iāll be holding you to that promise. She is my sister, after allā¦ Iād be a pretty bad brother if I didnāt.ā He wasnāt going to threaten him or anything thoughāthat seemed patently unnecessary. It was obvious Zero loved Yuki, and that they could and would be happy together. Besides, Zero was his cousin (distantly) and his friend. He was happy for both of them, and protective of both of them, in his own way.
Yuki had shown up again yesterday. This time with a small army of Level Eās and no Freyr. At least this time, nobody had been injured to the point of near death. Leo had sustained a pretty bad wound from Yuki late in the confrontation, though, and Balthasar had been prevented from stopping his fleeing sister by the need to hold Alden back. Without any warning or preparation and in the heat of battle, the potent smell of his sisterās blood had nearly taken him over the edge of his control, and Balthasar was one of the few that understood the reason for this. Alden was nearly always starving, because of the nature of his abilities. Where most of them could switch things on and off as needed, Alden was just constantly running, and it wasnāt easy for him.
Thoughā¦ even Helen had been distracted by the smell, and that was probably because she looked about as starved as a junkyard dog, too. Sheād upped her consumption of blood pills, but sheād been exhausted and malnourished even before sheād given up so much of her blood to save Ary, and Balthasar knew from experience that there was only so much the pills could replace in such a short time. He was amazed that the girl could still stand and fight, let alone run the infirmary by herself and function as Aryanās assistant.
They were slowly falling apart, and when not from the physical wounds, from the motional ones. Freyr was an adroit strategist, Balthasar had to give him that. Heād set out to hurt them, and hurting them he was, but perhaps none quite so badly as Zero. Which was perhaps why the eldest von Nacht son found himself heading to where the eldest Kuragari wasāin this case, the music room. It seemed to be a common thread in their family, to take solace from such things. He found his friend plucking idly at the strings of what had once been his motherās violin, gifted to her ironically enough by Balthasarās own father. They were always connected, these people he loved so dearly.
āI suppose you know, donāt you?ā he said by way of introduction, taking a seat facing the wrong way on the piano bench, and crossing his arms over his chest. He referred, of course, to Yukiās secret. He could see itāthough Zero was unmistakably in love with his sister, and part of that sadness was because of her current state, there was something else there. Balthasar could only see it because he felt it, too. And unlike anyone else who might observe its presence, he could actually identify it.
For what seemed the umpteenth time that day, Zero sighed, stretching his limbs out as they popped in random places. He began plucking at the violin, the one that once belonged to his mother, and it brought a mournful smile to his face. He missed playing, but most of all, he missed playing with his family. He missed the music they could all produce together, because like their fathers and mothers before them, they were all gifted in some instrument or another. He sighed, pushing those thoughts away as he recalled yesterday. She was there again, attacking her family as a pack of Level E's descended upon the field. She managed to wound his sister, and that was never a good thing.
Alden had to be restrained by Balthasar, something Zero was silently grateful for. He didn't want to have to harm his younger brother to protect his sister. Because he would have. As much as saving Yuki meant to him, he couldn't allow anyone else to be hurt because of her. He had managed to get Leora off of the field, tending to her wound before he allowed anyone else near her. The twins had control of their thirst, thanks to their human sides, but they were still susceptible to the scent. At least he thought they were. They had never shown any interest before in taking blood from anyone else, and he was pretty sure that if there was one source of blood Alarica wanted, it definitely wasn't his sister's.
He sighed once more, plucking the strings still before he went to tune the instrument. Once he set it to the tone he wanted, he pulled the bow across the strings and frowned at the sound it elicited. It wasn't the same note that he used to play, though it was. Perhaps he just needed to practice more often. He hadn't played in the last few months, and he was sure he was getting rusty. The light in his eyes were dimmed still, fading his eyes from the light, sea-foam green to a dull, almost gray color. It was starting to take its toll on him, the battle, her. And he knew most people could see it. He wasn't all too surprised to hear Balthasar's voice, and he turned to spot his cousin. He offered a small smile, but it still did not reach his features.
"It's not fair," he spoke. If one did not know the circumstances, they might have considered his statement a bit childish, and with no room to be spoken, however; he meant it. It wasn't fair that she only had fifty more years of life, that she had had whatever possibility for a longer life, stolen from her by that man. It wasn't fair that he loved her, and he was going to lose her no matter what happened. He was either going to lose her to Freyr, and his twisted mind games, or he was going to lose her to this disease, this whatever it was that Kisuke had did to her.
āNo,ā Balthasar agreed, leaning up against a wall and crossing his arms over his chest, āit isnāt.ā He was well aware of the injustice of it all, and it still rankled him to believe that such a person as Kisuke Sou had had any influence on his sisterās life whatsoever, especially something so profound. How anyone could do such things to anyone else, let alone their own child, eluded him entirely. It was hard for him to even imagine, truly.
āBut Iāll tell you what I told her: your mother is right. As long as those fifty years are the best fifty years they can be, theyāll be enough. Even I can see how much the two of you care about each other. Even ifā¦ even if your time is limitedā¦ hold onto that with everything youāve got, because we don't all get it, Zero. Itās worth treasuring, without tainting it with thoughts of what might otherwise have been.ā They couldnāt spend even a day of those fifty years being sad about how they wouldnāt have moreāthey just had to seize that time for everything it was worth. Most humans got less time than that, and nobody would deny that humans were capable of living full, worthwhile lives. At least, he didnāt think anyone would. He certainly didnāt think they were incapable. Sometimes, they seemed to grasp things that his own kind couldnāt see.
And whatever happiness Yuki and Zero managed to find for themselvesā¦ it would be more than Balthasar had. He couldnāt say he resented them, because heād never even dream of it. He wanted them to be as happy as possible, and heād give anything he had for it to be so. Butā¦ part of him ached a little, for lack of that same experience. He was still young by the standards of his kind, he supposed, but he was beginning to doubt heād ever get something like they had. In his youth, nobody had seen anything but his name, and in the end, even Elizabeth had only wanted his blood. At leastā¦ at least Yuki got to have better than that. So much betterāheād always be grateful to Zero for that, for giving his sister that chance.
Zero listened quietly as his older cousin spoke, and a small smile tugged upon his lips. "Mom always had a way with words, and it seems that they rub off on you too," he spoke, a light scoff escaping him in the process. It was perhaps the reason why he always sought Balthasar for council when his mother wasn't around. The two were alike in so many ways, that it frightened Zero a bit to know that there was another of his mother out there. But it wasn't such a bad thing, because if he wasn't, Zero wouldn't know how to handle the current situation. Balthasar was right. Whatever time they had together, when they got her back, they should use to make it the best years of their life.
But still, the dread still crept within him. What was he going to do once she was gone? Life without her wasn't a life at all, and he couldn't imagine himself living on, a thousand years even after her death. There was just no meaning for it. He would not tell his cousin that though, and instead, allowed the smile to remain. "See, now that's where you're wrong. We all do get it. There already is someone who loves you for who you are, not your title, not your blood, but just for you. Some of us are just too blind to see that," he spoke. At least Yuki loved him, at least he loved her. That was all that mattered. And he knew with that statement, his older cousin wouldn't understand, and that was how he wanted it to be.
In due time, maybe he'd really see the one who loved him for all that he was, just as he could see Yuki and love her for all that she was. Noble or not, experiment or not, he loved her not because of her status, but because of who she was to him and what she meant to him. That was all that would ever matter. "Thanks, Balthasar. I guess that's all I really needed to hear. When we get her back, not a day will pass by that I will not cherish it, I promise you that," he spoke, determination laced with a promise, covering his voice.
Balthasar was honestly perplexed by part of what his cousin said, for he could think of no such person, at least not in the way he meant the words. Perhaps they referred to different senses in which one could be loved, or perhaps Zero was indicating something about the future. It didnāt really matter, anyway. The important part was that his words seemed to have helped his cousin a bit, and that was what heād intended. āWellā¦ good. Okay, then. No giving up until sheās back, and after thatā¦ still no giving up, and a lot of living. Sounds like a plan to me.ā He nodded his satisfaction, and matched his friendās smile.
āYouāre welcome, Zero. Your motherās a very wise womanāIām glad to be thought of as like her. And Iāll be holding you to that promise. She is my sister, after allā¦ Iād be a pretty bad brother if I didnāt.ā He wasnāt going to threaten him or anything thoughāthat seemed patently unnecessary. It was obvious Zero loved Yuki, and that they could and would be happy together. Besides, Zero was his cousin (distantly) and his friend. He was happy for both of them, and protective of both of them, in his own way.