Time: Saturday, 1:00 A.M.
Leon sat on the sidebenches that lined the dhampir gym, his eyes mindlessly following along the patterns of the floorboards on the floor. She's late. He shifted in his seat, his hands clenching into fists and then relaxing before resting on his lap. Ever since mass, Leon had mainly avoided Ysabel on campus. As her guardian, he had accompanied her to class and from class as usual, but as the wards were up, he could often excuse himself from her side without much of a fuss. Especially since she had accidentally sent the thought about the dreams...No. No, those did not happen. Leon shook his head, his right hand smoothing his hair back as his eyes returned once more to the gym door that still remained shut and closed. His mind churning, Leon's mind once again returned to the 'hearing' that had been held in Queen Amelia's personal conference room, and how Ysabel had used her compulsion(?) abilities to pull herself out of trouble. I will have to talk to her about that. He got up and started to pace in front of the bench where he had just been sitting, his impatience growing as he continued to wait for Ysabel in the gym for her personal 'training' session.
“I'll catch you guys later.” Ysabel had bid farewell to her friends as they headed out for shopping. She had joked that she had lessened her shopping trips because Strigoi kept trying to steal her stuff. She had other plans after Mass – Training, to be exact. Just as Leon had been avoiding her, she had been doing her best to somewhat avoid him as well. When she was around him before her thoughts of jealousy and admiration for his looks were safe. Now they weren't. She wasn't sure how she felt about him after recently having spent so much time doing her best not to think about him general for any reason. But she wouldn't skip out on training. The Queen told her she couldn't fight. She didn't say anything about training. So she traded in her cotton dress and heels for short shorts, a tank top, and bare feet. She held her head high while trying to bolster her own confidence as she strode into gym, pulling her hair into a loose ponytail. “Lo siento,” she apologized in Spanish, shaking her head. “I was talking to Father Andrew. I'm cleaning the attic later and getting some books.” She offered an apologetic smile before swinging her arms some, managing to look at him without too much trouble. “What's on the schedule?”
Leon cast a surveying glance at Ysabel before jerking his head at the mats. "We will be refining your posture while fighting. I was...watching while you fought off the Strigoi." He made his way towards the mat and then stood beside them, his hands folded behind his back. "I would say that your fight was admirable...for a member of a royal Moroi family." A small smile formed on Leon's face before it vanished. "But I am sure that you also know that it wasn't enough. Especially as a Moroi, if training had worked at all, that Strigoi would not have been able to have run away and-" Leon stopped talking, his mouth immediately clamping shut as the memories of the night flooded into his mind. I spoke too much. He sighed and waved Ysabel over, trying to ignore the clothes she now wore. "Let us, just, try some of the basics, shall we?" He avoided Ysabel's gaze as he slowly walked onto the soft mat and turned around, positioning himself against attacks.
Ysa nodded silently in understanding. She would say that he had no idea how much she blamed herself for not training hard enough, though she took the compliment with a hidden smile. For not being strong enough. But he knew better than everyone else the guilt that she felt. What had made it worse was that she hadn't had a spare moment to smoke a cigarette since then. She had only been out once since that night and that was to go to Court. They sold everything under the sun but cigarettes in the shopping area there. She wished there was a way that she could cut him off from her feelings so that she didn't unintentionally torment him with her guilt, depression, anger, and confusion. She was sure he had enough of his own and didn't need hers piled on. Confident and a bit shamed at the same time, she followed him to the mat and stood across from him, taking an aggressive stance. She squared her shoulders and moved her feet apart, planting herself solid and raising her fists with her right one closer to her face and her left a bit further forward, knees bent. She learned quickly when she first started training that you always moved with your knees and not your back unless you wanted to be laid up in bed for a week.
A wide smile formed on Leon's face as he watched Ysabel take her stance. Though firm, there were still hints of reserve and lack of skill in it. Good enough, I suppose. However, the feelings that spilled over the bond worried Leon. He knew that she felt something towards him, but that did not worry him much at the moment. What did was Ysabel's growing depression- and he had no idea what was causing it. However, he decided to not comment on her mood. "Lean forwards a bit, come on. There's no need to look menacing when you can't even pack a punch." His smile suddenly vanished, his expression turning serious, signifying that he was not going to treat the training session as a joke. She will need to learn if she wants to learn with me- and she hasn't taken my lessons in. His serious expression turned into a frown, but it went away in a second.
Do I have to? Stop smiling like that. She wasn't able to control her thoughts before they formed, though she gave no outward indication that she had thought anything of the sort. She hated when she was chastised by him and when he, of all people, poked fun at her lack of natural Dhampir strength. She had won her fair share of fights against Guardians and novices. She'd lost more than she won, but she did well. But she knew that she had only gotten lucky with those Strigoi she staked and he had a point. Her upper body strength wasn't as great as it could be. But she had leg strength that even Dhampirs didn't have. That was due to her gymnastics and dancing. Still, she obeyed and leaned forward some and kept her gaze squarely on his chest, awaiting further instruction.
"Come on. I'm a Strigoi- try and take me down." Ysabel was more than happy to comply. She knew that if she managed to hurt him, it wouldn't be by much. And she needed some way to let her anger out. Going directly for a punch or a combination, especially with her lack of upper body strength, would do little to nothing so she struck it from her action plan. With flexibility honed from years of yoga and gymnastics, Ysabel took a step back before another forward, bringing her right leg up and over, intending to bring the top of her foot against her Guardian's neck. Shots above the chest were forbidden when novies trained, but this wasn't a regular training session. Leon reached his hand up and blocked Ysabel's leg, before he pushed the leg down with his arm and leaned forward, immediately putting his arm around her neck. "And you'd be dead by now." She breathed as calmly as she could, closing her eyes and trying not to be a creeper by inhaling his scent. It was just as hard to not melt against him. He quickly let go and took a few steps back, his breath absolutely unfazed as he positioned himself again, back where he had stood a few seconds ago. "Try-."
Ysabel didn't let him finish, striking out again, though this time she went for a punch to the throat. She had half a mind to just kick him between his legs, but faltered, tripping over herself as a sudden dark...feeling plagued her and forced her to pull her face into a contorted look over anger. Despite tripping over herself, she made up for it by using her bent over position to rush at him in a tackle as if she meant to maul him, her irritation spiking. Leon's eyes flew wide as Ysabel's irritation started to pile through from the bond, more so than it had at the beginning of the class. What? He tried to shut the bond, but he couldn't. The feelings were too powerful- Ysabel's irritation and anger too great- for Leon to ignore. As Leon was distracted with trying to understand what was happening, as he had never seen Ysabel this angry before, he did not see Ysabel suddenly charge towards him. Grunting with surprise, Leon immediately manhandled her, his instincts acting up before he could comprehend the situation, pushing Ysabel onto the ground underneath him, his hand over her neck.
Ysa yelped out in anger and pain as she was manhandled, growling underneath his hand as she moved her body, twisting quickly with her legs striking out as she attempted to take him by surprise and kick his legs out from under him. Stop it, Ysa! This isn't you! Take control! Fuck! I need a cigarette! I can't do this! I'm not strong enough! She argued with and berated herself with a short internal monologue, shaking her head as she moved about. Leon heard every word and felt every emotion as they passed through Ysabel's mind. He had at first lessened his grip, but the moment Ysabel had started to move again, he had clamped down again, knowing that she probably would harm him if he gave her the chance. "Ysabe- Ysabel." Leon said, as he tried to catch her attention. "Ysa! Stop! Calm yourself!" He tried to ignore the fact that his entire body was pressed against hers as he tried to calm her down. What's wrong with her today?His brow furrowed as he stared directly down at the face that was right under his own, his eyes filled with concern as they searched Ysabel's anger filled face.
The young Moroi's hands moved, curling into tight fists, beating against Leon's arms and back and sides as hard as she could, though she knew the damage was minimal. “Stop it! Get off of me! I hate you! I fucking hate you! I'm never going to be good enough for you! I'm weak, okay?!” Her thrashed underneath him as he tried to sooth her, though she kept her eyes shut tight and tears soon flowed from them as her moving lessened and her body soon grew still as depression and confusion replaced the anger and a stream of apologies in Spanish flew from her mouth, her hands moving to her face, hiding herself in shame. Leon's voice faltered as he saw the tears streaming down Ysabel's face. "Ysa-" A lost look formed on his face as he slowly got up, pulling her along with him though he did not know what else to do. "Ysabel. Calm down. Everything's alright." Getting up, he shuffled until he sat beside Ysabel, his hand patting her back as he watched her cry. "You're already doing very well in our training sessions! Notice that now I position myself before you attack? Hush, stop crying." He looked at Ysabel before looking away, panic and confusion filling him as the Spanish words flew over his head.
Her face remained in her hands the whole time as she stifled her sobs as best as she could. How could I say that to him? Him of all people! I don't hate him! I lo.. I don't hate him! She cried some more, moving her hands to pull her already messed up hair down to hide her face as she wiped away the tears. She looked like crap. “You suck at this and it's not helping. You want to help? Get me some fucking cigarettes and a goddamned bottle of vodka.”, she snapped at him angrily, her emotions making yet another one-eighty before making yet another so fast that it could have given her whiplash from the sudden sharp turn. “I'm... God, I am so sorry... I can't.... There's...” She faltered as she tried to explain, another round of tears streaming down her face that she quickly began to wipe away. “There's just this darkness... I need to numb it. I need to numb me...”
Leon frowned. He had heard her earlier thought- the one that she had stopped midway. But he ignored it. Ysabel needed him right now. "No, no, it's fine. I'm your guardian, anyways. Just, um, let it all out?" Leon tried to comfort her once more, this time wrapping his arm around her shoulder and allowing her to lean against him. Only this once. He leaned towards her, a kind smile on his face as he tried to coddle her into a better mood. "Come on, if it'll make you feel any better, you can hit me. Right here, on this cheek." He pointed to his left cheek. Feeling his arm wrapped around her made Ysabel's mind and her emotions go blank instantaneously. At this rate, with the way her emotions kept swerving so suddenly, she would have been dead of a snapped neck. She felt nothing as he held her, adamant at keeping her thoughts and her feelings to herself. Things were already awkward enough. Especially now after everything she had just said to him. She ignored his offer for her to hit him, unable to stop herself from melting against him, though she forced back the feelings of affection that began to surface. “I. Am a terrible person. I'm a bitch... All I've done since day one is make things hard for you and now I'm being mean and I can't even function without nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol.”
Leon's smile turned into a frown as he heard the last sentence, his eyes immediately losing the joking look they had sported just a few minutes ago. "This is unlike the Moroi that I have known for the past few years." “The Moroi you've known downed two bottles of vodka every weekend and went through twelve packs of cigarettes a week. This Moroi hasn't had jack squat in almost a month.”, Ysabel mumbled. The hand that Leon had placed on Ysabel's arm moved upwards, patting her head reassuringly, as if it would help. He tried to ignore the feelings that were spilling from Ysabel- the feelings of affection- that were mirrored in himself. But he couldn't. Once again, he reminded himself of his duties of a guardian, and his hand immediately snapped away from Ysabel's head. Moving away, he bowed in front of her, his eyes stuck on the ground as he mumbled, "I will retrieve whatever you want, Lady Ysabel." His resolve was slipping.
As he offered to go get her something, she grew a bit more sad again. “Great... Now I'm pushing him away with my insanity and weirdness.” She sighed and stood up, swaying lightly before taking on a complete lack of expression, almost as though she were about to issue a shrug and a Whatever as she began to trudge past him. “You're off duty for the day. It's Sunday – Take a me-day.”
Leon looked up and sighed. Getting up from where he had just been crouching, he walked in front of Ysabel and forced her to a stop. "Ysa. I'm acting like a Guardian should- like what your guardian should. Please, don't force me to overstep the boundaries. Don't act like this- I can feel what is going on inside of you, please." Leon almost pulled her into a hug but he stopped himself short, a sigh escaping his lips instead but that didn't stop her from throwing her arms around his torso, resting her head against his chest as she cried some more. She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. So she just cried.
Leon's eyes widened as the Moroi started to cry on his chest, her sniffles echoing throughout the whole gym. What...do I do. He stared helplessly at the top of Ysabel's head as his arms fluttered around in the air, unsure of what to do. At least I booked the gym for the day...no one will come in... Coughing once, Leon placed his right hand on Ysabel's head as his other went for her back, slowly patting in a steady beat. "Everything will be fine, Ysa. I'm here." Flashes of how they had interacted in the dreams came back to him and a blush crept up Leon's face- it was almost like how they were interacting now. He had never hugged the Moroi he was in charge of- and he didn't know what to do, nor did he know what to say. So he kept his mouth shut as he continued to pat her on her back, allowing Ysabel to cry into his chest.
“You're smoother in your dreams.” She finally cracked a smile, wiping away her tears. She was glad that she wasn't wearing makeup but her eyes were still puffy. And I don't even have those anymore... She didn't want to compromise her Guardian and that meant that she couldn't visit his dreams anymore. Not like she had any control over it. Leon coughed, his eyes diverting as he let go of Ysabel since she had stopped crying. "That is a completely different matter. I-" he stopped and sighed, shaking his head as his hands now rested on his hip. "I- I am your guardian, Ysabel. Let's keep it like that, okay? I will help you with your scheme- I know you are thinking something up, I can hear your thoughts directly from over the bond." His eyes roamed her face as he stopped and reached a hand up as if to touch her face, but it fell down limply by his side. "Because I am your guardian- a dhampir- I can only provide you assistance in fighting, protection. Nothing more. Please, it would be easier for both of us if it stayed this way, okay?" A faint smile appeared on his face but then it fell away again almost immediately.
“Nothing in life is easy, Leon. And what I've got planned is going to shake things up anyways. But...not now. Soon.” She smiled softly, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. “I really do need cigarettes and alcohol. It's going to get worse without them. They...dull everything.” Leon sighed. Holding onto her hand, he leaned his head into it before pulling it down, though he kept it in his grasp. "Ysa. Please. Don't hurt yourself." He sighed and pulled her close into a short tight hug before letting go. "Don't harm yourself. I'll protect you from everything." However, just as he was trying to calm Ysabel down, he felt a surge of dread rise out of nowhere. Anger and sadness crashed inside him- but he trie to ignore it as he watched the calmed Ysabel. “Hurt myself? I'd die for the people I care about. Don't think that you can be the hero all the time.” She gave his hand a light squeeze, her smile widening. This was the most tender moment she had ever had with Leon outside of his dreams and she would cherish it. It was at that moment that she realized that she felt...normal. Happy, even. Of course she was practically oozing affection, but she felt less crazy. “That's....weird.”
Leon let a small smile show before he shook his head and took a step to the side. "I don't think that you're up to anymore training today. It's not that early in the morning, and there are other guardians roaming the grounds. You will be safe within St. Vladimir grounds. I'll wish you good night?" “Leon...” She turned her gaze back to him as her arm fell to her side. The smile on her face had yet to fade even as she looked down. “Maybe bring me some vodka later? New season of Game of Thrones starts in a few hours. I'd ask you to watch, but I don't want to sully your honor.” She couldn't explain it, but she seemed just fine as she teased him, that twinkle returning to her eyes. Leon laughed but shook his head. "I cannot promise that I will bring vodka, Ysabel, especially for someone so young." He looked up and grinned slightly before he returned once more to his serious guardian demeanor. "I will take my leave now, Lady Ysabel. Do have a good day's sleep; I will pick you up tomorrow morning."
“I'll see you tomorrow then...” She spoke softly with a smile before leading the way out of the gym.Leon sighed as the gym door closed behind Ysa, the Moroi leaving his sight. Slowly, he walked back to the mats and sat down, his head in his hands. Anger spilled through Leon as he sat there, unmoving like a statue. Today was a mistake. He thought as he slowly lay down, his hands clenched into fists. What have I done?!
Leon sat on the sidebenches that lined the dhampir gym, his eyes mindlessly following along the patterns of the floorboards on the floor. She's late. He shifted in his seat, his hands clenching into fists and then relaxing before resting on his lap. Ever since mass, Leon had mainly avoided Ysabel on campus. As her guardian, he had accompanied her to class and from class as usual, but as the wards were up, he could often excuse himself from her side without much of a fuss. Especially since she had accidentally sent the thought about the dreams...No. No, those did not happen. Leon shook his head, his right hand smoothing his hair back as his eyes returned once more to the gym door that still remained shut and closed. His mind churning, Leon's mind once again returned to the 'hearing' that had been held in Queen Amelia's personal conference room, and how Ysabel had used her compulsion(?) abilities to pull herself out of trouble. I will have to talk to her about that. He got up and started to pace in front of the bench where he had just been sitting, his impatience growing as he continued to wait for Ysabel in the gym for her personal 'training' session.
“I'll catch you guys later.” Ysabel had bid farewell to her friends as they headed out for shopping. She had joked that she had lessened her shopping trips because Strigoi kept trying to steal her stuff. She had other plans after Mass – Training, to be exact. Just as Leon had been avoiding her, she had been doing her best to somewhat avoid him as well. When she was around him before her thoughts of jealousy and admiration for his looks were safe. Now they weren't. She wasn't sure how she felt about him after recently having spent so much time doing her best not to think about him general for any reason. But she wouldn't skip out on training. The Queen told her she couldn't fight. She didn't say anything about training. So she traded in her cotton dress and heels for short shorts, a tank top, and bare feet. She held her head high while trying to bolster her own confidence as she strode into gym, pulling her hair into a loose ponytail. “Lo siento,” she apologized in Spanish, shaking her head. “I was talking to Father Andrew. I'm cleaning the attic later and getting some books.” She offered an apologetic smile before swinging her arms some, managing to look at him without too much trouble. “What's on the schedule?”
Leon cast a surveying glance at Ysabel before jerking his head at the mats. "We will be refining your posture while fighting. I was...watching while you fought off the Strigoi." He made his way towards the mat and then stood beside them, his hands folded behind his back. "I would say that your fight was admirable...for a member of a royal Moroi family." A small smile formed on Leon's face before it vanished. "But I am sure that you also know that it wasn't enough. Especially as a Moroi, if training had worked at all, that Strigoi would not have been able to have run away and-" Leon stopped talking, his mouth immediately clamping shut as the memories of the night flooded into his mind. I spoke too much. He sighed and waved Ysabel over, trying to ignore the clothes she now wore. "Let us, just, try some of the basics, shall we?" He avoided Ysabel's gaze as he slowly walked onto the soft mat and turned around, positioning himself against attacks.
Ysa nodded silently in understanding. She would say that he had no idea how much she blamed herself for not training hard enough, though she took the compliment with a hidden smile. For not being strong enough. But he knew better than everyone else the guilt that she felt. What had made it worse was that she hadn't had a spare moment to smoke a cigarette since then. She had only been out once since that night and that was to go to Court. They sold everything under the sun but cigarettes in the shopping area there. She wished there was a way that she could cut him off from her feelings so that she didn't unintentionally torment him with her guilt, depression, anger, and confusion. She was sure he had enough of his own and didn't need hers piled on. Confident and a bit shamed at the same time, she followed him to the mat and stood across from him, taking an aggressive stance. She squared her shoulders and moved her feet apart, planting herself solid and raising her fists with her right one closer to her face and her left a bit further forward, knees bent. She learned quickly when she first started training that you always moved with your knees and not your back unless you wanted to be laid up in bed for a week.
A wide smile formed on Leon's face as he watched Ysabel take her stance. Though firm, there were still hints of reserve and lack of skill in it. Good enough, I suppose. However, the feelings that spilled over the bond worried Leon. He knew that she felt something towards him, but that did not worry him much at the moment. What did was Ysabel's growing depression- and he had no idea what was causing it. However, he decided to not comment on her mood. "Lean forwards a bit, come on. There's no need to look menacing when you can't even pack a punch." His smile suddenly vanished, his expression turning serious, signifying that he was not going to treat the training session as a joke. She will need to learn if she wants to learn with me- and she hasn't taken my lessons in. His serious expression turned into a frown, but it went away in a second.
Do I have to? Stop smiling like that. She wasn't able to control her thoughts before they formed, though she gave no outward indication that she had thought anything of the sort. She hated when she was chastised by him and when he, of all people, poked fun at her lack of natural Dhampir strength. She had won her fair share of fights against Guardians and novices. She'd lost more than she won, but she did well. But she knew that she had only gotten lucky with those Strigoi she staked and he had a point. Her upper body strength wasn't as great as it could be. But she had leg strength that even Dhampirs didn't have. That was due to her gymnastics and dancing. Still, she obeyed and leaned forward some and kept her gaze squarely on his chest, awaiting further instruction.
"Come on. I'm a Strigoi- try and take me down." Ysabel was more than happy to comply. She knew that if she managed to hurt him, it wouldn't be by much. And she needed some way to let her anger out. Going directly for a punch or a combination, especially with her lack of upper body strength, would do little to nothing so she struck it from her action plan. With flexibility honed from years of yoga and gymnastics, Ysabel took a step back before another forward, bringing her right leg up and over, intending to bring the top of her foot against her Guardian's neck. Shots above the chest were forbidden when novies trained, but this wasn't a regular training session. Leon reached his hand up and blocked Ysabel's leg, before he pushed the leg down with his arm and leaned forward, immediately putting his arm around her neck. "And you'd be dead by now." She breathed as calmly as she could, closing her eyes and trying not to be a creeper by inhaling his scent. It was just as hard to not melt against him. He quickly let go and took a few steps back, his breath absolutely unfazed as he positioned himself again, back where he had stood a few seconds ago. "Try-."
Ysabel didn't let him finish, striking out again, though this time she went for a punch to the throat. She had half a mind to just kick him between his legs, but faltered, tripping over herself as a sudden dark...feeling plagued her and forced her to pull her face into a contorted look over anger. Despite tripping over herself, she made up for it by using her bent over position to rush at him in a tackle as if she meant to maul him, her irritation spiking. Leon's eyes flew wide as Ysabel's irritation started to pile through from the bond, more so than it had at the beginning of the class. What? He tried to shut the bond, but he couldn't. The feelings were too powerful- Ysabel's irritation and anger too great- for Leon to ignore. As Leon was distracted with trying to understand what was happening, as he had never seen Ysabel this angry before, he did not see Ysabel suddenly charge towards him. Grunting with surprise, Leon immediately manhandled her, his instincts acting up before he could comprehend the situation, pushing Ysabel onto the ground underneath him, his hand over her neck.
Ysa yelped out in anger and pain as she was manhandled, growling underneath his hand as she moved her body, twisting quickly with her legs striking out as she attempted to take him by surprise and kick his legs out from under him. Stop it, Ysa! This isn't you! Take control! Fuck! I need a cigarette! I can't do this! I'm not strong enough! She argued with and berated herself with a short internal monologue, shaking her head as she moved about. Leon heard every word and felt every emotion as they passed through Ysabel's mind. He had at first lessened his grip, but the moment Ysabel had started to move again, he had clamped down again, knowing that she probably would harm him if he gave her the chance. "Ysabe- Ysabel." Leon said, as he tried to catch her attention. "Ysa! Stop! Calm yourself!" He tried to ignore the fact that his entire body was pressed against hers as he tried to calm her down. What's wrong with her today?His brow furrowed as he stared directly down at the face that was right under his own, his eyes filled with concern as they searched Ysabel's anger filled face.
The young Moroi's hands moved, curling into tight fists, beating against Leon's arms and back and sides as hard as she could, though she knew the damage was minimal. “Stop it! Get off of me! I hate you! I fucking hate you! I'm never going to be good enough for you! I'm weak, okay?!” Her thrashed underneath him as he tried to sooth her, though she kept her eyes shut tight and tears soon flowed from them as her moving lessened and her body soon grew still as depression and confusion replaced the anger and a stream of apologies in Spanish flew from her mouth, her hands moving to her face, hiding herself in shame. Leon's voice faltered as he saw the tears streaming down Ysabel's face. "Ysa-" A lost look formed on his face as he slowly got up, pulling her along with him though he did not know what else to do. "Ysabel. Calm down. Everything's alright." Getting up, he shuffled until he sat beside Ysabel, his hand patting her back as he watched her cry. "You're already doing very well in our training sessions! Notice that now I position myself before you attack? Hush, stop crying." He looked at Ysabel before looking away, panic and confusion filling him as the Spanish words flew over his head.
Her face remained in her hands the whole time as she stifled her sobs as best as she could. How could I say that to him? Him of all people! I don't hate him! I lo.. I don't hate him! She cried some more, moving her hands to pull her already messed up hair down to hide her face as she wiped away the tears. She looked like crap. “You suck at this and it's not helping. You want to help? Get me some fucking cigarettes and a goddamned bottle of vodka.”, she snapped at him angrily, her emotions making yet another one-eighty before making yet another so fast that it could have given her whiplash from the sudden sharp turn. “I'm... God, I am so sorry... I can't.... There's...” She faltered as she tried to explain, another round of tears streaming down her face that she quickly began to wipe away. “There's just this darkness... I need to numb it. I need to numb me...”
Leon frowned. He had heard her earlier thought- the one that she had stopped midway. But he ignored it. Ysabel needed him right now. "No, no, it's fine. I'm your guardian, anyways. Just, um, let it all out?" Leon tried to comfort her once more, this time wrapping his arm around her shoulder and allowing her to lean against him. Only this once. He leaned towards her, a kind smile on his face as he tried to coddle her into a better mood. "Come on, if it'll make you feel any better, you can hit me. Right here, on this cheek." He pointed to his left cheek. Feeling his arm wrapped around her made Ysabel's mind and her emotions go blank instantaneously. At this rate, with the way her emotions kept swerving so suddenly, she would have been dead of a snapped neck. She felt nothing as he held her, adamant at keeping her thoughts and her feelings to herself. Things were already awkward enough. Especially now after everything she had just said to him. She ignored his offer for her to hit him, unable to stop herself from melting against him, though she forced back the feelings of affection that began to surface. “I. Am a terrible person. I'm a bitch... All I've done since day one is make things hard for you and now I'm being mean and I can't even function without nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol.”
Leon's smile turned into a frown as he heard the last sentence, his eyes immediately losing the joking look they had sported just a few minutes ago. "This is unlike the Moroi that I have known for the past few years." “The Moroi you've known downed two bottles of vodka every weekend and went through twelve packs of cigarettes a week. This Moroi hasn't had jack squat in almost a month.”, Ysabel mumbled. The hand that Leon had placed on Ysabel's arm moved upwards, patting her head reassuringly, as if it would help. He tried to ignore the feelings that were spilling from Ysabel- the feelings of affection- that were mirrored in himself. But he couldn't. Once again, he reminded himself of his duties of a guardian, and his hand immediately snapped away from Ysabel's head. Moving away, he bowed in front of her, his eyes stuck on the ground as he mumbled, "I will retrieve whatever you want, Lady Ysabel." His resolve was slipping.
As he offered to go get her something, she grew a bit more sad again. “Great... Now I'm pushing him away with my insanity and weirdness.” She sighed and stood up, swaying lightly before taking on a complete lack of expression, almost as though she were about to issue a shrug and a Whatever as she began to trudge past him. “You're off duty for the day. It's Sunday – Take a me-day.”
Leon looked up and sighed. Getting up from where he had just been crouching, he walked in front of Ysabel and forced her to a stop. "Ysa. I'm acting like a Guardian should- like what your guardian should. Please, don't force me to overstep the boundaries. Don't act like this- I can feel what is going on inside of you, please." Leon almost pulled her into a hug but he stopped himself short, a sigh escaping his lips instead but that didn't stop her from throwing her arms around his torso, resting her head against his chest as she cried some more. She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. So she just cried.
Leon's eyes widened as the Moroi started to cry on his chest, her sniffles echoing throughout the whole gym. What...do I do. He stared helplessly at the top of Ysabel's head as his arms fluttered around in the air, unsure of what to do. At least I booked the gym for the day...no one will come in... Coughing once, Leon placed his right hand on Ysabel's head as his other went for her back, slowly patting in a steady beat. "Everything will be fine, Ysa. I'm here." Flashes of how they had interacted in the dreams came back to him and a blush crept up Leon's face- it was almost like how they were interacting now. He had never hugged the Moroi he was in charge of- and he didn't know what to do, nor did he know what to say. So he kept his mouth shut as he continued to pat her on her back, allowing Ysabel to cry into his chest.
“You're smoother in your dreams.” She finally cracked a smile, wiping away her tears. She was glad that she wasn't wearing makeup but her eyes were still puffy. And I don't even have those anymore... She didn't want to compromise her Guardian and that meant that she couldn't visit his dreams anymore. Not like she had any control over it. Leon coughed, his eyes diverting as he let go of Ysabel since she had stopped crying. "That is a completely different matter. I-" he stopped and sighed, shaking his head as his hands now rested on his hip. "I- I am your guardian, Ysabel. Let's keep it like that, okay? I will help you with your scheme- I know you are thinking something up, I can hear your thoughts directly from over the bond." His eyes roamed her face as he stopped and reached a hand up as if to touch her face, but it fell down limply by his side. "Because I am your guardian- a dhampir- I can only provide you assistance in fighting, protection. Nothing more. Please, it would be easier for both of us if it stayed this way, okay?" A faint smile appeared on his face but then it fell away again almost immediately.
“Nothing in life is easy, Leon. And what I've got planned is going to shake things up anyways. But...not now. Soon.” She smiled softly, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. “I really do need cigarettes and alcohol. It's going to get worse without them. They...dull everything.” Leon sighed. Holding onto her hand, he leaned his head into it before pulling it down, though he kept it in his grasp. "Ysa. Please. Don't hurt yourself." He sighed and pulled her close into a short tight hug before letting go. "Don't harm yourself. I'll protect you from everything." However, just as he was trying to calm Ysabel down, he felt a surge of dread rise out of nowhere. Anger and sadness crashed inside him- but he trie to ignore it as he watched the calmed Ysabel. “Hurt myself? I'd die for the people I care about. Don't think that you can be the hero all the time.” She gave his hand a light squeeze, her smile widening. This was the most tender moment she had ever had with Leon outside of his dreams and she would cherish it. It was at that moment that she realized that she felt...normal. Happy, even. Of course she was practically oozing affection, but she felt less crazy. “That's....weird.”
Leon let a small smile show before he shook his head and took a step to the side. "I don't think that you're up to anymore training today. It's not that early in the morning, and there are other guardians roaming the grounds. You will be safe within St. Vladimir grounds. I'll wish you good night?" “Leon...” She turned her gaze back to him as her arm fell to her side. The smile on her face had yet to fade even as she looked down. “Maybe bring me some vodka later? New season of Game of Thrones starts in a few hours. I'd ask you to watch, but I don't want to sully your honor.” She couldn't explain it, but she seemed just fine as she teased him, that twinkle returning to her eyes. Leon laughed but shook his head. "I cannot promise that I will bring vodka, Ysabel, especially for someone so young." He looked up and grinned slightly before he returned once more to his serious guardian demeanor. "I will take my leave now, Lady Ysabel. Do have a good day's sleep; I will pick you up tomorrow morning."
“I'll see you tomorrow then...” She spoke softly with a smile before leading the way out of the gym.Leon sighed as the gym door closed behind Ysa, the Moroi leaving his sight. Slowly, he walked back to the mats and sat down, his head in his hands. Anger spilled through Leon as he sat there, unmoving like a statue. Today was a mistake. He thought as he slowly lay down, his hands clenched into fists. What have I done?!