Two days he's been gone... Kanan's thoughts were on the darker side as he stood behind the chair that served for Amon's seat in the council. He hadn't been paying too much attention to the chatter going on in the room. After all it was details that had already been spun before, and it always seemed that they had no intention of listening to Amon no matter what was said. Kanan was sure that Amon felt the same as he did about those meetings. They were a waste of time.Yet, it seemed that it needed to be done to at least appease the council's minds.
Even so, Kanan was lost to his darker thoughts which usually happened with Minnow's absence. Though the young healer didn't often leave the castle, it was those rare times that he did that had Kanan in such foul moods. The one eyed protector hated the feeling that came to him with Minnow's leaving for his herbs or other essentials. His nightmares often returned when he wasn't holding the youth in his arms.
The nightmares consisted of the horrid events three years ago, or was it four years ago? Kanan wasn't really keeping track, but it still felt like it was yesterday to him. They'd nearly lost everything during the fight to regain Reimrand for Valrien. He could still hear the screaming, most prominent was Lord Siya's. Kanan couldn't even bring himself to recall what had happened to the protectors of the young King though he'd been there to see it. Valrien's brother had been an enemy that Kanan hadn't been sure they could win against.
Still, they prevailed somehow and he was grateful for it, especially since Minnow was still at his side. However, he couldn't help but feel regretful of everything else. A million 'If only' situations played through his head at times like those. If only he had been there for one of them, if only he had been fast enough for another, if only he hadn't done something else, if only... Kanan took a deep breath as he stood there. He couldn't keep thinking of those things. Minnow would have even more stress on his mind than he already did. If the young healer found out about Kanan's depression, it wouldn't help a thing.
And the nightmares... Kanan's good eye stared down at the floor as he stood stock still in the room, the clatter of voices just background noise for him. It was mostly one nightmare in particular that he had constantly and in honesty it had nothing to do with the horror of the events three years ago. Rather, it was something to do with the eye that he kept covered. Now more so than ever, did he fear taking that eyepatch off. He had been forced to a few times in Reimrand. Once when they passed through the doorway because Valrien had need to see what had been hurting him so, and the second time when they had been in terrible danger while in Reimrand.
He recalled the event very clearly. The pillars of the structure they'd chased Valrien's brother in and then lost Valrien himself to the maze-like building, had been coming down due to the brothers power. Kanan had expended all of his power to keep the stone from crushing him and under him had been Minnow. Unable to keep the pillars from killing them both, Kanan was forced to uncover the eye for the power that lay burning just out of reach. After convincing Minnow to squirm out from under him and to safety, Kanan removed the eyepatch and the power that had been bubbling there, burst forth and obliterated the floor under his hands and knees.
The sheer amount of power that had come from him in that single moment still terrified the protector. Though he'd fallen through the floor, his magic stopping him from being killed when he hit some water under the room the group had been in, he still couldn't get past the sickening feeling that curdled in his stomach from allowing the magic to be used. It seemed that while in Reimrand he had no control over it at all. There had been some points where even the eyepatch covering the ruined eye wasn't even enough to contain the power there.
It was those nightmares that still plagued him even when Minnow was near him. The edgy feeling he got every so often, a tingling sensation in his eye... The list went on. Yet, ever since leaving Reimrand, Kanan hadn't ever felt the overwhelming need to let the power loose from under the eyepatch. It was probably just Reimrand's lands, filled with raw energy as it was. The people there had no need for sacrifices to command power, and there was power there that none from Iveir had ever seen before. As unsettling as it was, Kanan kept it to himself.
“Then why do I have to keep repeating myself?”
His Kings sharp voice took him from his deep thoughts. The tone alone was enough to drag Kanan back from any nightmarish thoughts. After all, he was still the Kings protector and anyone who elicited that tone from the King was immediately put under Kanan's scrutiny, which in all honesty was nearly everyone in the council meeting. It wasn't the first time Amon had lost his patience with that particular group.
A frown pulled at Kanan's lips though he kept quiet. Still, he shifted a little to remind the council members that he was indeed still present and even placed his hand on the hilt of his weapon, pulling it forward in a silent, but meaningful way. The conversation buffered on, growing more and more aggravating by the second until finally Amon all but shouted the last order to the group. Kanan's gaze had shifted to the one who had spoken to Amon, his tone less than pleasing to Kanan's mind. His fingers tightened around the blade, a deep frown on his lips as he narrowed his good eye in a threatening manner. The young protector was certainly in no mood for this groups antics.
We are not closing off the ruins, councilors! That’s final! This meeting is adjourned for today.”
With that, Amon was up and storming to the doors to leave the council room. Kanan followed him, his footsteps lighter than his Kings, but his heavy presence no less overwhelming. The protector had purposefully increased his presence, the air magic that constantly filtered out of his body to tell him exactly who and where people where in the castle helped to add to that fact. Increasing that power made the room feel heavy as he left it, following right behind Amon.
"Sire, try not to let them anger you," Kanan offered.
Though he didn't do it often, Kanan did try to help ease his King's thoughts and worries by offering his opinions and council. It never seemed like it did much, but Kanan couldn't help but to try no matter what. He was even about to say something more in regards to the horrid meeting they'd just left when his power felt the familiar presence of one whom he'd been eager to see again. Stopping in his tracks, he turned to face the hall that led to the front of the castle. Kanan almost left Amon entirely before realization took over his hearts yearning.
"Sire, Minnow has returned," he said with a warm smile tugging at his lips without his knowing it. With a single glance over to the King, he started down the hall without waiting for an answer and made his way to the huge double doors that led out into the front yard of Amon's castle. His footsteps carried him rather quickly through the long hall to the doors. With a bit of power, he opened the heavy wooden obstruction that was in the way of his getting to what he wanted.
In four long, quick strides, Kanan crossed the distance between himself and Minnow. He never hesitated, not anymore anyway. It had long since failed to matter to Kanan who saw, or when he did what he wanted with Minnow. The past events were testimony to that. So with that driving his actions, the taller protector had pulled Minnow against him in a tight embrace before he pulled away just slightly and dropped down to lavish the boys lips in a particularly long and deep kiss.