When her bedroom door slammed shut behind her, Alexandra attempted to run to her bed without turning on her light. She knew the way to the path by heart, having stormed into her room countless times after evening events with her brother went awry, or even after a night of drinking when she simply didn't think to put the lights on first. However, now the normally-smooth path was interrupted as she tripped over the shopping bags from their earlier excursion, which had been brought up while they were at dinner. It forced the tears out of her heavy eyes as she kicked the bags out of her way in anger. Absolutely nothing was going her way tonight. She couldn't even make it onto her bed, instead opting to sit on the floor with her back resting against the side of it.
Fuck Carson, fuck Owen, fuck Shay, fuck everyone...
Every bad thing that had happened to her tonight was really her fault, but she didn't want to accept the blame for it all. Not when it had spiraled out of control so quickly and she couldn't have stopped it if she wanted to. She didn't want any of it to happen this way, but she still hated Carson for rejecting her, Owen for being... Owen and everything that came along with that, and Shay for being such a bitch, even if it was justified. In Lex's eyes, Shay didn't know that she really didn't love Carson. For all she knew, Alexandra was set on marrying the guy and there she was, snuggled up on the couch watching a movies with him moments after the confession! Calling her a slut still made Alexandra cringe, but she tried to justify it to herself.
The soft tap on the door immediately indicated that it wasn't Owen on the other end, and Alexandra only pulled herself off of the floor and sat on her bed. She didn't answer Ariana, just waited for the girl to come in on her own. As long as her raging maniac of a brother wasn't with her, she mind Ariana coming in. Even if she liked acting like she never needed anyone's help, right now she did want someone to talk to and with both of her siblings clearly being out of the picture, Ari would have to do. Her voice was the gentle and reassuring thing that Alexa needed right now, and while she insisted that she would deal with Owen and that she wasn't alone in doing something stupid with a guy, she began to feel better. Somehow, that was what she needed to hear. Alexandra prided herself in being independent, but recently, it didn't seem like a trait she had. On her birthday, she had been so hurt by her friends teasing her for being scared to have sex that she slept with Carson, and now, all it took was Ariana insisting that it was understandable for her to almost believe it.
"No, Shay doesn't like me anymore," Alexandra responded with little emotion. She considered adding "because she's a slut", but it wasn't necessary. Ironically, Ariana was the one who was actually acting somewhat civil towards Shay and Alexandra didn't know if she would reciprocate the smirk she wanted to give with it. She ran a finger under the bottom of her eyelids, hoping to fix the makeup that was surely smeared by now. Her eyes seemed to be out of tears, and she wasn't really sad enough to cry anymore anyway. What happened, happened, and as long as Owen stayed away, maybe the storm would finally be over. "And it's not a lie. Didn't you see the picture? She's all over him, and if you had only seen her at dinner..." her voice trailed off, still lacking any real emotion. Now that she was sure she didn't want Carson for herself, it was hard to feel sad. The resentment towards her sister and Carson was still there towards regarding her nonexistent feelings for Carson, but she wasn't heartbroken. Right now, more than anything, she was tired. Not just physically, but emotionally. The car ride with Owen had been brutal, the past month trying to win Carson over had been draining, and now, the thought of how screwed up the rest of the summer was going to be just made things worse. "He didn't want to sleep with me." The random statement broke the silence, but it was obvious who she was referring to. "I mean, I think... he thought I was someone else." It was true that Alexandra's recollection of that night's events were better than she had claimed at first. She was drunk, but no where close to where Carson was. However, she was so desperate to prove that she was mature enough to have sex that she didn't even care when Carson called her Kayla more than once during their time in bed. It was mortifying to think about now, but she was still feeling fairly numb and her voice didn't indicate any hint of shame. If anything, there was confusion there. "Why do boys even like Tinashé?"