XXX
XXX
- XXX
XXX
XXXOh, Erin is adorable, alright. Sterling's rather fond. Who isn't in the presence of waddling babies or snorting pugs? Gosh, watching her is a decidedly painful experience, if only because it requires a colossal amount of willpower not to cross the distance between them to ruffle her curly hair and hand her a lollipop.
XXXSterling fails to notice the glance Erin casts Nina only because his gaze flits over to where the brunette sits poised with that aggravating grace of hers at the same time.
XXXSterling claps loudly when Erin is finished, grinning as she vacates the podium with the devil on her heels. Her cheeks are flushed and her hair sticks to the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead. He grins as he takes her seat beside him.
XXXAll hail Mrs Jefferson's sterling seating arrangements. He can see the delight rolling off of Erin in waves.
XXX"Shut it," Erin hisses the moment she descends into her seat. Sterling widens brilliant blue eyes in mock surprise. He glances over his shoulder before turning back to Erin, cocking his head in bewilderment.
XXX"Me, Miss Hill?" he questions in his thick British accent. "Goodness, no. I would never think to comment on your poorly executed speech or your perky arse as you fled the stage."
XXXMrs Jefferson's call for Rebecca has Sterling pressing his finger over a cheeky smile before turning to face the podium. Rebecca's speech is quite brilliant. Succinct, eloquent, supported by evidence. Until she falters for a brief moment, gaze flitting towards lo and behold, Nina Romanov. It seems no one can execute a speech without shifting their attention to "The Queen."
XXXSterling decides there and then that he will ignore Nina entirely through the duration of his speech, even if it means ignoring that section of the room. It matters little. Aimee threatened Erin's safety and Daniel Ahn... Well, Sterling will shed no tears should Daniel Ahn mysteriously disappear into thin air.
XXX"Thank you, Rebekah. Take a seat. Next we have Lucas Long." A pause. "Lucas Long?"
XXXThey had a Long Lucas? Sterling must have slept through more classes than he'd initially envisioned. To think he took pride in knowing the names of everyone in school. Hah, just kidding. He knew about five.
XXX"As it seems he's absent, we'll move on to the next person on the list," the teacher continues. A grimace that is not entirely subtle flits across her face as she glances at her list. "Sterling Walker," she grumbles. "Come."
XXXSterling barks like a dog. Mrs Jefferson gawks and sputters something about respect and inappropriate social efficacies and blablabla. Sterling takes the piece of paper from her and heads to the podium. He unfolds his prompt slowly and with no small amount of drama. He pauses before taking a deep breath as if preparing to dive into the unknown. All theatrics. Somebody has to have a sense of humour in this horrendously morbid class. You'd think from everyone's faces that they're being called to the noose.
XXX"You may begin now, Mr Walker," Mrs Jefferson says impatiently.
XXX"'It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry,'" Sterling begins, putting on an extra posh British accent and a croaky voice. "'Whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom,' said a dead white man."
XXXHe glances up at his sheet to find Mrs Jefferson about to protest, before she shakes her head and places it in the palm of her hand. Why bother, her gesture seems to say. Sterling does so love sucking the hope out of the human soul.
XXX"We often think love and hatred are opposites, foils to one another in a story that is infinitely complex," he starts after a moment to gather his thoughts and school his expression into one of serious pondering. "Yet we neglect to realise that it is those we love who inspire the greatest contempt. We succumb to anger because we care. It is because we see - we saw - what they were and all the potential they possessed. And we saw it fall to ruin."
XXXHis attention shifts to Nina. He curses. Aloud. Mrs Jefferson gasps and a few chuckles spread across the class. Shit, I wasn't supposed to look at her. But he does. Instead of turning away, he challenges her to pull her gaze away. She does not. Something strange crosses her face, but her eyes do not waver. Instead she lifts her chin, a challenge in her own.
XXX"The opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference," Sterling says quietly. Loud enough to just be heard by everyone in the room, but there is something intimate in his tone as he looks at Nina, as if begging her, beyond all others, to heed his words. It is an apology and adjuration.
XXX"Myths and sacred stories frequently employ apples as a symbol of love. A fitting analogy, considering the seeds of an apple are poisonous. That is not to say all love leads to one's demise, only that we must be careful not to be so immersed in tasting the sweetness that we devour the bitterness as well. Sometimes mould can fester when neglected. What was lovely can rot."
XXXNina flinches.
XXXFinally. A reaction. He needs this. He needs to see what hides beneath the Ice Queen. Sterling continues.
XXX"A moment can change us for a lifetime."
XXX
XXX
- XXX
XXX"A moment can change us for a lifetime."
XXXNina grips her hands together under the table, her nails digging into her knuckles. She clenches her jaw. An calloused hand jerks me forward. I fall into the dirt. A fire rages, devouring his skin. She shuts her eyes, breaking the stare between her and Sterling. Don't think about it, don't think about it. Her chest is rising and falling in quirk spurts. She takes a deep breath, shoves the intrusive memories from her mind and opens her eyes. Don't let them know. They are vultures. Exploiting weakness.
XXX"Often the smallest things can tip the scales from love to hate. A misunderstanding. A mistake. A drunken night can shift the dynamics for the worse." Here Sterling shifts his gaze away from Nina to Erin. "Or better."
XXXHope shivers. Plummets.
XXXOh, God.
XXXShe's going to be sick. But her stomach is empty, her chest a void.
XXX"Just as love can morph into loathing, so can loathing morph into love. The fragility of humanity's depth of emotion echoes in the transience of our mortality. Just as it is necessary to burn a forest to create fields, so it is that we must sacrifice old flames for the new."
XXXSterling struts from the podium like he owns the stage and the people beneath it. He returns to Erin's side. I can't breathe. Of course it's fire. It is always fire. Fire took love from her once before, too, but it did not leave her with fields to plough. It left her with the carcass of her brother and the disgust of her family. It left her with a cavern in her chest and scars wrapped around her torso.
XXXNina traces the path of a small scar on the inside of her wrist, hidden beneath the bracelet Daniel returned to her moments before. It is a burn mark incomparable to those hidden beneath her clothes. Her clenched fists relax under the table.
XXXNumb. Always numb. There is no light in her eyes, no ember in her chest. She'd known, then, that Sterling and Erin saw something in each other that they did not see in her. But she did not know the depth of their feeling. What a fool she'd been. How could she not have known when Sterling stares at Erin now the way he used to...
XXX"Hey, don't look too impressed," she hears Sterling say to Erin behind her. "Wouldn't want your panties to spontaneously combust in the middle of class."
XXXNo more.