Lily flinched every time Debra started a new sentence, how was this women so Naive? Lily wasn't mopping because she wasn't like the others, or as strong as a werewolf, though that was part of her irritation it wasn't the problem, she watched at Debra left the house, she didn't know how to react at first, and at first she didn't, she simply went as she normally would getting her son ready for bed, and once he was asleep she sat on the bed, a few tears escaped her eyes, she had become rather good at crying so that nobody could hear her.
Lily felt it a while after Trevor had left, it felt like she was being ripped apart, she managed to stumble out of the house. "Jack, Jack, there's something....Wrong, with....Trevor." She managed to get out before another wave of pain rushed through her, and then Jack answered the phone. Trevor. It was Trevor, and as soon as Lily heard You're not going to die, she panicked, there was something seriously wrong.
Lily was in her own amount of pain as Trevor was brought in, she followed closely behind and upon getting one glance she gasped covering her mouth with her hand, she had Lawrence in her arms who started crying when Debra started yelling, Lily soothed the baby the best she could but with all of the commotion around him it was hard, and Lawrence was clearly scared.
Lily did as she was told and got out the way leaving the camper, she had stopped crying though the pain remained, it felt like a fire was coursing through her veins, she didn't make a comment though, didn't make a sound, she waited for everyone to see Trevor before going in herself, Lawrence had fallen asleep by that time, and it was Just Lily, Debra, and Trevor in the trailer now. Lily sat in a chair next to his bed side but didn't reach out a hand to afraid to touch him, to afraid to really do anything.
"You're wrong you know." Lily eventually Broke the silence but she spoke softly as to not wake up the baby. "I'm not moping because, I feel useless, or because I'm not a werewolf, or because my husband went on a rampage and killed an entire pack, that is part of my frustration, but it isn't why I'm moping." Lily took a deep breath. "Here's something not even Trevor knows about me. When I was six, I got extremely depressed, medications made it worse, and Doctors quite frankly wanted me to be admitted into the hospital, but my Mother said no, she knew what that was like, she went through the same thing and suffered with it her whole life, its passed down in the family."
Lily took in a slow breath. "When I was nine, I tried to kill myself, I took a bottle of my Fathers pills and walked out into the blizzard in the middle of the night, I knew if the overdose didn't kill me, the winter would. The only reason I was found, was because my Mother saw the door open and the empty bottle on the counter and followed my footsteps into the snow. I tried again when I was twelve, and again when I was thirteen, and then again when I was sixteen."
I tried again a few months before I met Trevor. Then I met him, and he made it seem as if the pain wasn't there, as if I didn't actually need to fake a smile all the time, or like the sadness wasn't an endless void. The day we started dating, was the day I had planned to try again, try to end my life again, but I had Trevor, I had a reason to push through it." Lily looked over at Trevor biting her lip slightly, he was so pale, so lifeless looking, and the fire still coursed through her veins. "You said I haven't sacrificed anything for him?" Lily looked at Debra. "I've sacrificed everything for him. I gave up my world, my very normal world for this world which is the farthest thing from normal. I gave up being there for my family every single day, I gave up my safety, I gave up my life to carry his child, did you really think I had to do that? That I had to put myself through that? I could have easily terminated the Pregnancy, ended it all, but I knew that would affect Trevor, and I knew it would affect us. So yeah, I went through the pain because every time Lawrence moved I felt like my ribs were breaking, and sometimes I thought I would pass out from the pain, but I put on a brave face, never let him know just how much I was hurting. I watched him slaughter an entire pack, and then left so that he could get better, so that he could be himself again, not because I wanted to leave him because I was scared, but because he was, and because he needed time, so I sacrificed my happiness, something I hadn't felt in years, so that he could get better."
Lily stood up from her chair turning to face Debra, she wasn't very happy at that point, in fact she was fairly upset. "So don't you dare, EVER call me a mopey brat again, or tell me I haven't done anything for him, when you don't know half of it. I am Depressed because I am depressed Debra, and I feel useless not because I act like it, but because all of you treat me like it, you always have because I'm human. I am Depressed because I watched My husband kill that pack and then watched him fall apart, felt what he was feeling, you didn't go through that. I am depressed, because Lawrence made him so happy and I don't want another baby just because, I want another baby. I want one, because Lawrence made him so happy, and because I think another child would be good for him, would make him happier, would help fix the last broken parts of him that I am trying to fix but can't quite reach."
Lily took in a deep breath she was crying now, she was really crying now, but she was still holding Lawrence and trying her best not to wake the sleeping boy, she just looked at Debra, and looked at her hard, looked at her mostly because she couldn't look at Trevor the mess she was, couldn't let him see, feel, or hear her cry anymore. "So you were wrong. I'm not a mopey brat, and I'm not being selfish. I'm just depressed, and for good reason, and I couldn't convince myself to get out of bed this morning, I could barely convince myself to move, I was just so tired, and I felt like the whole world was weighing on me. That doesn't make me a childish little girl, that makes me the person who has been broken this entire time and none of you knew, Trevor didn't know. Because It would have killed him, it would have pushed him to his breaking point. That doesn't make me some crying little girl you need to deal with, or some mopey brat who is selfish in every way."
"So don't talk to me like you know me, like you have a right, because you don't. You didn't know anything about me, you just assumed. So now, my husband is dying, the love of my life is dying, and I feel like shit because I've been depressed, and I couldn't get out of bed today, or even tell him I loved him and kiss him goodbye before he left because I feel like he deserves so much better than me." Lily turned away from Debra holding Lawrence with one hand taking Trevor's with her other and just let out a sob, her chest heaving when she went to breath, she leaned down, and as gently as she possibly could pressed a kiss to Trevor's lips.
"Babe, I don't know...If you can hear me, but I love you, I really, really love you. I'm sorry I've been so hard to handle lately, but I do love you..." She took in another really deep breath a few more tears rolling down her cheek. "I know you're in a lot of pain Trevor, I can feel it. Don't feel like you have to stay for me, because you've done so much for me. You can go. I'll be okay, and Lawrence will as well, I'll look after your sisters, you don't have to fight this, it alright for you to go, I won't be angry, I promise. I'll be here the whole time, so don't be afraid, you aren't alone." Lily pushed his hair away gently kissing his forehead sitting down gently squeezing his hand, she hoped he wouldn't die, even though she told him it was alright for him to go, she hoped he wouldn't, she wanted him to stay, but she didn't want him in pain.