Perhaps it was silly to pick something that would inevitably remind her of their shared childhood, but she didnât actually think so. Those memories, the ones with just the two of them, were some of the best she had, bright spots in what had otherwise been⊠grim, for her. So sheâd made her way down to the bank of the lake, a small satchel of supplies in tow, and currently sat on the snowy bank, waxing the bottoms of her boots with a sort of polish-oil sheâd borrowed from Rilienâs supplies. Sheâd left a note, so she knew he wouldnât mind. Well⊠probably he wouldnât mind anyway, but it had been the considerate thing to do.
Pulling the boots, with their bladed attachments, back onto her feet, she laced them up tightly, and used an arm to pull herself up, bracing against the dock. She supposed she could see this as a form of training, really, for balance and control and such, but while maybe it would have those benefits, she was willing to admit to herself that she was going to be doing this for fun, and the other benefits were only incidental.
Getting down to the lake wasnât too difficultâthe snow was soft and powdery, so she was in little danger of slipping. Once she stepped onto the frozen surface of the pond, however, things were different, and she immediately leaned heavily onto her arm when one of her feet slipped out from underneath her, letting a light laugh escape her. It was probably a good thing no one ever really came down here. Theyâd either think their Herald was crazy or a silly girl who didnât really have the capability to handle the responsibility. Grimacing, she moved the thought away, compartmentalizing it like she did with lots of things, and struck out.
The pond wasnât completely smooth like the one Cyrus had frozen in the back yard, but there was a pretty big section that was close enough, and Estella stuck to that, folding her arms behind her back and skating along it with alternating motions of her legs. The wax made it extremely easy to glide along the surface, and she smiled to herself as she remembered how to do it, turning a few times around the perimeter before she attempted skating backwards, and then a couple of pirouettes. The first time, she fell, landing hard on her rear, but this only prompted more laughter from her, and by the time sheâd been at it for half an hour, she was starting to remember the tricks for balance. This seemed easier now than it had when she was a child, perhaps because of all the things sheâd learned about balance and centers of gravity and the way a body moved since then.
The second pirouette even had a jump to it, and when she landed on the injured leg, it held steady. Estella grinned.
Eventually, a familiar hooded figure came to stand near the lake's shore, bundled up as he usually was when he was seen outdoors. His entrance was subtle at first, as he took a few moments to watch her, but soon enough he wasn't difficult to notice, standing with his arms crossed and cloak wrapped tightly around him.
Her good mood remained firmly enough in place as she skated her way back over to the edge of the lake, though some of her previous grace seemed to have disappeared, and she nearly tripped over a ripple in the ice, but on the whole she was pleased with herself for not faceplantingâa distinct possibility with her. Hopping onto the lakeshore, she took part of her cloak in each hand and closed it over herself, trying to preserve some of the warmth that motion had started generating.
âGood afternoon, Romulus.â She smiled, not especially surprised to see him here since it had happened once before. âHow was the Coast?â
It appeared that even so simple a question made him hesitate for an answer. He'd taken a half step forward when she nearly fell, though he quickly corrected himself, as though trying to hide that he'd ever made the motion at all. Finally, he came up with a response. "Wet," he said simply, "though I've heard the marsh you visited was worse." He glanced down to her leg, and the skate beneath it. "Looks like you're healing up."
Estella pulled a face, grimacing slightly. âOh, Iâll be fine. Asalaâs been working on me for a couple of days, so the painâs basically all gone. The marsh was very wet, though. And smelly. Which was probably because of the undead.â She stopped herself before her reply became a ramble, which tended to happen sometimes when she felt obligated to fill more of the conversational space than she was usually allotted or comfortable with. She assumed if he knew enough to know about her injury, he also knew theyâd successfully retrieved the scouts, so there wasnât any need to say that, which left her slightly bereft of anything else to add.
Even though most of his face was obscured by the hood, given that he was looking out at the lake rather than at her, his awkwardness was definitely apparent, given that his posture seemed affected by more than just the cold. "I also heard what happened with the Avvar chief. That was... impressive." It wasn't clear what exactly he was referring to, either the manner in which the deed was done, or the fact that she'd made the decision at all. He didn't choose to linger on it very long, however.
"I'm starting to feel like I don't have many uses here." The words were more certainly spoken, clearly indicating that they were what he'd come to talk to her about, not any of the poor attempts at small talk earlier.
Estella was genuinely surprised by that, and she let it show plainly on her face. âReally? What makes you say that?â She tipped her head to the side before appearing to think better of just uncomfortably standing there. Instead, she pulled herself up onto the dock next to her and scooted to one end of it, sitting with her back to one of the supports at the front and crossing her legs underneath her. She made a gesture, inviting him to do the same opposite her, her expression containing some amount of clear concern. âBecause it seems to me that it couldnât actually be so.â
He didn't react to her answer, but did take her up on the invitation to sit. His eyes were thoughtful, but troubled. "I didn't have many purposes before, in Tevinter. I killed for my domina. She has other slaves for other jobs. She would have me tend to... well, little other than killing. I removed her enemies, kept her position in the magisterium secure when other options failed. I've never been good at anything else." The thought didn't appear to please him in the slightest.
"Here, I'm supposedly valuable. On the Storm Coast, I was ordered not to fight, not to kill, because I'm too valuable to risk. I stood and watched while others did the work. I've always been good at following commands." He swallowed. Often he gave off the impression of a man with far more bottled inside of him that was healthy, but now more than ever that seemed to be the case. He was clearly trying his hardest to ensure this was a contained release, and not an explosion.
"Mother Annika said I could be Andraste's wrath, but now I can't even do that. I'm a slave, a shame for the Inquisition, an embarrassment to be put into the light. Now I have to be tied up in the dark as well."
Estella thought that one over. She wasnât sure of any of the details of what happened on the Storm Coast, mostly because she didnât really know anyone who had gone well enough to ask, and hadnât yet heard the official line on what had occurred, if there was to be one. But it sounded like a situation had come up where someone prevented Romulus from fighting. She tried to decide how sheâd feel about that, though she wasnât sure if they were anywhere near alike enough for the comparison to be any good. Heâd said he felt like fighting was his only real skill. Estella wasnât sure she was good enough at anything for it to qualify as a skill, but she knew how to do some things, at least.
She wouldnât have liked it much if someone had tried to stop her from fighting the leader of those Avvar, though. Not even Cyrus had done that, exactly. âYouâre not an embarrassment,â she said firmly, sure of at least that much. âItâs true that not everyone could or would understand, if they knew, but that doesnât⊠that doesnât change anything about you. Thatâs other peoplesâ problem.â She vaguely waved a hand. Estella understood why they couldnât widely publicize Romulusâs origins, but that didnât mean she liked it, and it certainly didnât mean there was any fault or shame due on his part.
The rest of it, though⊠she wasnât sure what to say about that. âAs for the fighting part⊠I donât know, really. All I can say is that thereâs plenty of that still to come, Iâm sure, and no matter how much they want to protect us, they wonât be able to forever. Weâll have to risk ourselves, at some point. Weâll have to fight.â That part, she was saying to herself just as much as she was saying it to him, and she suspected he could guess that, from the way it was inflected.
"The necessity of it doesn't change much, as I see it," Romulus said. He rubbed his head briefly, sniffing. The constant chill of the air was obviously still not settling well with him. "But I think the Inquisition doesn't need me. Not like it needs you. I'm just here for this," he briefly raised his marked hand, "until that is closed." He pointed up at the Breach, still swirling above the mountains as always. "Once it's done, I expect I'll go back to Minrathous, and we'll pretend this never happened."
He'd apparently decided against talking it over further, as he stood a bit abruptly. "I'm sorry for interrupting you." With that, he turned to leave, though his step was hitched when he spotted the cloaked, armored elven man at the shore-end of the dock, just now approaching with his lion's cloak draped over his shoulders. He smiled almost jovially in greeting.
"There he is! I was wondering when we'd finally meet." Vesryn held out a hand for a shake, which apparently forced Romulus to stop, though it looked like every fiber of his being wanted to keep walking. He briefly shook the elf's hand. "Vesryn Cormyth. A pleasure." Romulus released his hand and bowed stiffly.
"If you'll excuse me." His eyes remained averted as he headed away from the lake, back towards Haven. Vesryn watched him go, perplexed, before he shrugged, and walked out towards Estella.
"Bad day, or... is he always like that?"
Estella grimaced. She wasnât sure they should have just left things at that, but then⊠she also wasnât sure there was anything else she could have said or done to help, which was troubling, but not that unusual for her. She didn't think she had enough of a grip on what he was dealing with to be of any assistance in alleviating it. Her previous good cheer had sort of evaporated by this point, and she sighed softly, tipping her head so as to look up at Vesryn. âWell⊠to be honest, Iâm not entirely sure. Itâs not usually quite so uncomfortable, though.â It was definitely at least partly the bad day problem, though.
âSomething I can do for you, Vesryn, or are you just out for a walk?â
"I'd love to skate with you," he said, gesturing towards her feet. "Don't know how, but I've never been afraid of embarrassing myself in front of beautiful women." He sighed. "Sadly, I find myself a bit flat footed. I actually came out to train, on the ice. So I don't embarrass myself in front of our enemies, if there's ever cause for a fight here."
Estella coughed awkwardly, glancing out at the lake in what was likely a poor attempt to hide the reddening of her face. He said such ridiculously flattering things so easily, it left her feeling a bit off-kilter herself. This week was apparently going to put her through all the different flavors of uncomfortable. The training part, though, she could talk about that easily enough. âWell, if youâre trying to train, you probably donât want to change anything much in the first place, since this is what youâd be equipped with if you had to actually do any fighting, right?â
She pursed her lips. âThereâs a flat spot out near the middle; it doesnât have much friction. Itâd probably do just fine, for your purposes.â Putting her feet over the edge of the dock, she used her arms to lower herself carefully onto the surface of the lake. âBut if you really wanted that feeling of not being able to grip much, you could always just wax the bottom of your boots. It comes off, afterwards.â She pointed at where sheâd left the satchel, not too far off in the snow.
Unlike Romulus, Vesryn didn't seem at all bothered by the cold. It was probably unsurprising, given that he'd only been slightly dampened by the torrential rain and undead-filled nastiness of the Fallow Mire. He dropped lightly off the side of the dock, boots clattering against the surface of the ice, and not for a moment did his balance seem to be in doubt. "Maybe I'll do that," he mused, coming around the edge of the dock until he was next to Estella. If he'd noticed her embarrassment, it didn't seem to change much about his demeanor.
"Now that I've caught you, though, I wanted to say a few things. Specifically, that the way you handled yourself in the Mire was, to put it simply, heroic. You're a great deal braver than I gave you credit for at first glance."
âI think you mispronounced âstupidâ,â she said lightly, though inwardly she felt her guts turn over. That was⊠quite the compliment, and it left her feeling unsettled, and really wishing he hadnât said it. Because it wasnât, reallyâit wasnât heroic or brave, not by the understanding she had of those things. It had been necessary, sheâd believed at the time, and so sheâd done it, because if nothing else she could usually manage to do those things, but bravery would have required something she didnât have, something that didnât have anything to do with skill or talent. Estella knew she wasnât a coward, either, but not being a coward was a very different thing from being brave.
âBut, um⊠thank you.â It was a nice thing to say, and maybe it would have even been nice to hear, were things a little different. âFor saying so, and for helping get me there in one piece. Wouldnât have made much difference if Iâd drowned, now would it?â She smiled, still letting herself assume the tone of jest, but the expression didnât quite get all the way to her eyes.
"Think of it how you will," Vesryn said, taking a step forward and turning his back to the lake, so he could face the dock, and Estella, "but it fit my definition. You didn't know if you could win, maybe even thought you wouldn't, but you tried anyway. We could've worked together, killed every last one of those Avvar, certainly. But clearly, you're a person who cares about individual lives. That's the right kind of person to be stuck with something like that mark on your hand, if you ask me."
He smiled easily, his mannerisms so comfortable it was like he'd had this conversation a hundred times already. Clapping his hands together once, he began to step backwards, out onto the frozen lake. "I apologize, I've bothered you enough. I hope you enjoy your day, Estella, and I look forward to many future adventures." The gleam in his eye seemed to imply he didn't think he was bothering her, exactly. He slipped his bardiche axe from its sheath, setting the point of it lightly into the ice.
It wasnât a bother, so much, but since he seemed to know that, she didnât correct him, instead shaking her head. Sheâd let him have the lake. Probably using it for training was better than just wasting time on it, so she made her way back over to the bank and detached the blades sheâd strapped to her boots. She should probably return Rilienâs supplies to him, now.