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At the sound of his question, Rose leaned her head forward until it hit the tree. She didn't mean to do it hard, more like gently rest it, but it still made a resounding thud noise nonetheless. "A month," she mumbled quietly, almost too quiet that she was unsure if he would actually be able to hear her. Lifting her head back up, she looked him in the eye, knowing she owed him that much and repeated gently, "I've known for a month." The pained look in his eyes twisted into her gut like a knife. I caused that. She felt more guilty for that then anything she ever had in her life.
Drifting away from where she stood at the tree, she moved so she stood straight across from him, yet distant, feets away. She didn't approach him, afraid he would feel crowded or worse, that he would step away from her. "The day, no, the moment I found out," Rose started, trying to ground her voice and make it sound more strong, less quiet, "I went straight to you. I only wanted to talk to you, but when I saw you and tried to say something I couldn't. I couldn't get the words out. Everyday since then when I saw you I told myself I was going to tell you but the words always got stuck in my throat and, God," Rose breathed out, a soft humourless laugh escaping her lips. "Matti I was so scared- I am scared. I don't want this marriage."
As the resolution of her words settle in, Rose felt a small tear trickle down her cheek and she instinctively turned away, wiping it off her face. Why did she feel like this? Why couldn't she have just told him? She never once stopped to think about the reasoning as to why she just couldn't tell him and it only aided in making her guilt worse. Rose never really stopped to think about that until now. They always knew this day would come. She never doubted that her father would arrange something for her. But it all seemed so complicated.
Turning to move to sit on a fallen tree, she dropped her hands from her face and admitted. "I can't explain to you why I couldn't tell you. I just... I don't know. I don't know why I couldn't, I don't know," she almost kept repeating, as if hoping it would draw out the reasoning in her mind. She never once held anything back from Mateo. All her deepest and darkest feelings, he could draw those out of her in no time. She wanted him to know everything, needed him to in order for her to feel sane, but why couldn't she blab out this! Rose was so caught up in her head that she barley even registered as another tear streaked her face.
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Stellan lifted an eyebrow at the underage comment. Leon looked young, but he couldn't be younger than twenty, could he? Tossing back the rest of his drink, the bartender went to fill it back up after giving Leon his. After he handed him his refill, Stellan said, "If the King asks questions, tell him I threatened you or something. God knows how many times that excuse has been used for my younger cousins." He meant it as a half-joke, half-truth. His younger cousins who were caught with alcohol had told the bartender to use it as an excuse once or twice without Stellan's consent before, but it did sorta work. He didn't deny it. Besides, all he got was a slap on the wrist from his Dad. By the look of the bartenders face, it appeared it his comment hadn't come across as a joke at all. "I'm sure it'll be fine" he had replied quickly, before turning to attend to other guests. Stellan simply shrugged his shoulders.
It's not like he cared much if he got in shit over it if the bartender did decide to use it as an excuse. What's the worse that could happen? They send him back to Sweden? Boo-hoo.
Taking a slow sip of the whiskey, he glaced back down at Leon, making a sweeping gesture with his hand towards of the the exit doors to the ball room. "Lead the way," he commented, before holding up a finger in pause. "Wait, actually." Stellan mumbled, before turning around to walk behind the bar counter. The bartender just stared at him, a little stunned as Stellan reached over to grab the half-full bottle of whiskey, saying only, "It's an open bar, right?" in an attempt of explanation before turning right around and walking back to Leon. "Now we can go."
It wasn't like Stellan was actively attempting or hoping to get drunk that night. He rarely did, his tolerance was pretty high. But after the stress of the day and the nerves that grew every moment he was in the crowd? Well, two glasses of whiskey just wasn't going to ease his tension.