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The air is thick with the scent of coffee. Caffeine - yesterday’s drug of choice. Natalie needed her caffeine fix. Nat sips and analyzes, her favorite activity by far. First enters Isaac, he meets her eyes for only a moment before stealing off to a far corner to eat his food. Elias is next, he waves to her before shuffling himself across the room to get food. Finally enters Chevelle, she finds her way to the window seat. She sipped her coffee quietly, and hummed happily at the warm flavor that washed over her tongue.
Sunlight flashed through the window, glancing off her icy blue eyes. Memories flooded her, washing her away from reality. Natalie felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in her abdomen. Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying the last attack. Her breathing became more rapid, more shallow. Nat knew tensing against the shaking of her limbs is useless but she does it instinctively, trying to suppress for a few more moments what she knows she cannot. She needs to drink in the silence, to counteract the fear that threatens to engulf her.
In these moments before her personal hurricane, she understood the drug addict, the alcoholic... anything to stop the primal surge to flee. Her eyes glued to the mug on the counter next to her white knuckles.
It wasn't beautiful or elegant, it wasn't expensive, it had no sentimental value, and yet for a moment she reached out to touch the mug as if it was her most valuable item. She anchored herself to reality with the feel of the warm ceramic against her palms. The coffee lapped over the dark edge of the cup as her hands shook around it. Everyone in the room became nothing more than a distant roar. Her thoughts accelerated and she gripped the counter.
“This is not then. Be a Gryffindor Natalie” She whispered to herself.
“This is not then” She said quietly and yet with more force.
Her breathing slowed as she focused on the world around her. The darkness that had edged at her vision started to recede. The silence caressed her skin like a cool summer breeze, smoothing her soul, taking away her jagged edges. Reality slowly started washing in. She glanced around and hoped no one had seen her break, after all, she had to protect her reputation.
“Anxiety is overestimating the problem and underestimating my ability to deal with it.” She muttered as she poured more coffee.