The dark green door stood in front of him menacingly. He could already feel the rush of emotions and memories beginning to overwhelm him. His hand balled in a fist, he raised it slowly towards the door, feeling like he was moving in slow motion…and then he knocked.
The door pushed open on its own, having not been locked. No other noise accompanied the creaking of the aged hinges. The house was completely dark, the only light coming from a window at the opposite end as the sun had just started to rise.
Yuji took a single step in. Goose bumps prickled at the back of his neck. Something was wrong, something wasn’t right. The entryway was cold; all the windows of the house had been open for some reason. Then it hit him. The sickly, metallic smell of blood filled his nostrils, clouding his head. It instantly made him nauseous. He clamped a hand over his mouth, trying not to retch.
He continued slowly toward the kitchen, his footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors. A quiet moan cut through the air. Yuji stopped instantly. His body had begun to shake, the hand over his mouth moving back and forth rapidly, his legs barely able to hold himself up. As he began moving again, he rounded the corner, staring down at the floor as if he knew what he was expecting.
The image of his mother laying on the ground would forever stay in his mind. Her long, ebony hair stuck together in knots, having absorbed most of the blood around her head. Her limbs were sprawled out, her pale arms clutching her stomach. The white shirt was almost entirely wet with blood. The hardwood had taken on the deep crimson as well, having already absorbed some of it. And her face, her face…. Her face had lost all colour, her once pink lips drained entirely. Her black eyes were wide open, staring right through Yuji, her pupils searching for something to focus on. Her lips parted slightly, an airy cry escaping as her arm slowly extended out towards Yuji, her fingers fumbling and grasping at air, reaching for something, anything, reaching out for life—
Yuji shook his head violently, forcing the image out of his head. Once again the dark green door stood in front of him, though with a new coat of paint and some flowers hanging from a pot beside him. He was in the same place, but not the same time. He was okay. His mother was okay. Everything was okay.
Except, he was feeling extremely nauseous again. Trying to regain his composure, he cycled a few deep breaths and waited patiently. He could hear footsteps inside the home, and then the door opened.
Before him stood his mother, small, reaching nearly a foot shorter than him. Her long black hair was twisted into a bun, and she wore a pleasant flowery blouse and skirt. Her face lit up at the sight of her son. She outstretched her arms and welcomed him with a massive hug.
“Oh, Yuji! I’ve missed you so much!” She cried, her voice muffled in his shirt. Yuji gently enveloped her in his arms, resting his head on top of hers.
“I’ve missed you too Mom.” He said gently, giving her a squeeze before pulling away. She stared up at him and then pulled him into the house, closing the door behind them. Yuji took off his shoes and stepped onto the hardwood. He hadn’t been here for almost a year now. For a moment, the memory returned to his mind, but he pushed it away. The house had been refinished and furnished with new furniture, much to his approval. The money he had sent her had obviously gone to good use. The home was cozy as well as open. Light walls, dark wood, curtains and fabrics of pastel colours, and flowers absolutely everywhere. Yuji smiled to himself at the sight of the home, following behind his mother, his luggage trailing behind him.
“I’ll fix you something to eat, you must be so hungry. Go put your luggage in your room, it’s just the way you left it!” His mother called as she began gathering food and cooking supplies for Yuji’s late breakfast. He nodded his head and made his way down the hall, entering the first door on the right.
The walls of his room were adorned with posters of various comic book heroes, and playbills from the drama productions of his highschool. In the corner sat a lonely desk that he never used for its intended purpose, and a small single bed on the other side, made neatly with a pile of comic books resting on the side table under the lamp. He threw his bag on his bed and breathed in deeply, a bit more relaxed now that he was with his mother. Yuji took a step towards the window, peeking through the curtain to look outside. It was a beautiful day, sunny and bright. His mother had been working on her garden it seemed. The flowers and vegetables were blooming, reaching up to the sky. He was almost excited now to go out into town and visit some of his regular stores. Of course, he’d have to be careful about how he presented himself. Though Akita was small, he was sure that people here had seen him before and knew his face from television.
Digging in his bag, he took out a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap as his makeshift disguise, and made his way back into the kitchen.
There, he spoke with his mom and reminisced with her while enjoying her tofu and rice. She told him about what had changed in Akita since he had been gone, and he shared stories of his acting with her. After an hour or two of spending time with one another, he kissed her on the cheek goodbye and told her he would be right back, he was just going into town for a bit.
Yuji pulled the baseball cap over his messy black hair, and pushed the sunglasses over his eyes. He should just look like another everyday person. He wasn’t being followed by his agent or any security guards and he wasn’t wearing any brand name clothing. He would just be another face in the crowd. Where would his first stop be? Maybe he’d go out and find a gift for his mother, to thank her for her hospitality. The house was only about a fifteen minute walk from shops downtown. Maybe he’d get her a nice flower arrangement, something extravagant and colourful, just for her.
As soon as he started to get into areas with more people, he began to feel a bit nervous. Even if someone only glanced up to him for a second, he would hold his breath, as if that would help him not be discovered. But every person passed by without a word.
"I have to just....act normal...I can't keep getting this nervous. Damn, it's like my first show all over again..." Yuji thought intensely as he moved down the sidewalk towards the buildings in the distance. Why did he feel so nervous? Why was he so afraid? All he had to do was act like he was just a regular citizen. Here, he was determined to be just that.
None of the buildings downtown were especially tall or large. There were a few packed together, with some plant life and landscaping around them, then there would be another massive gap before more buildings popped up. A few of them were empty with "For Lease" signs in the windows. As he passed an empty storefront, he stared into his reflection passing by in the window. It was difficult to recognize him with his shadowed face and shielded eyes. Yuji smirked and focused his gaze ahead of himself once again. A few blocks down he saw a sign advertising a flower shop. He continued on his way towards it. He would probably have to talk to salespeople inside. They were probably a bunch of old folks though. Those were the type that usually owned flower shops, anyway.
He pushed open the glass door and heard a small bell ring with his entry. His eyes scanned the store, looking over the bountiful arrangements, the array of pots and fertilizers and supplies all for taking care of flowers, and finally, the girl that stood at the register. Yuji didn't even hear her greeting.
"Isn't it supposed to be old people that work here?" He thought to himself. His eyes hadn't moved from staring at her, though you probably wouldn't have noticed with the sunglasses on. Her hair matched the shade of many of the flowers in the store, her eyes doing the same but only in a deeper, more pleasant tone. She was cute. Really cute. Yuji's lips turned into a small smile. Maybe with a bit of his charm he could get to know her a bit more. Maybe even take her home.
He parted his lips to speak, but suddenly his voice faltered. He was overcome with nervousness. It was as if something had grabbed his throat to stop him from talking. Why couldn't he speak to her? This never happened, he was always ready to make a comment about a girls' eyes, hair, or smile. But with her, he just...couldn't...get....it...out!
"Ahhh...umm...I...." Was all he managed to muster. His smile faltered, and he tore his gaze away from her, turning his head to look at a bouquet to his right. His sunglasses jumped down the bridge of his nose a bit with the quick movement of his head, but he quickly pushed them back up. Yuji let out a sigh, thinking himself through the situation. All he needed was flowers for his Mom. That was it. Nothing else. He would be gone in a few minutes.
"Can you do...custom arrangements?" He blurted out, turning to look at the girl again. No no no, wait, he didn't want a custom arrangement! He didn't even know what kind of flowers he wanted...he didn't know anything about them. All he knew was that some of them were different colours and they smelled nice, that was about it.
"I need something...ah....pink--" He glanced at her eyes again. "And...more pink."
He was screaming internally. Why did this girl make him so nervous? Why couldn't he talk? Why couldn't he be flirtatious and charming right now when he really wanted to be?!