Snippet #2766362

located in San Francisco, a part of 43800, one of the many universes on RPG.

San Francisco

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Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song
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BEN CHAPMAN
the doctor- #bbc89c - outfit
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xxxi feel so damn worthless
xxxanother day is gone
xxxand all my faces are alibis
xxxand me, I'm half the man I wanted to be
Ben was in a world of his own when the familiar voice suddenly startled him out of it. He turned to look at Jake, his heart already in his throat. He couldn't freak out again. Not here, when there was too many eyes to see and ask too many questions. So instead he wordlessly took the coat, not quite able to make eye contact. The apology sounded sincere, and somehow that made him feel worse.

"No it's-" He stopped himself and forced himself to take a deep breath, slowing his racing thoughts and heart. "I'm sorry for... freaking out on you guys like that. But there's a reason I'm not- there's a reason I left. And I felt like it had all finally caught up with me and... I'm not in a place to deal with it all right now." He wanted to give as honest an answer as he could while also not giving the whole story. The store was so quiet, he could hear Autumn chatting away to Dave even from where they were standing. He went to put another book on the shelf but almost dropping it with the shaking in his hands. Instead, he just shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the shelf.

"I'm pretty fond of you guys too," he said, smiling a little, without even really thinking about it. Then he sighed. "It's bad, isn't it? If you came all the way here looking for me... I wish I could help. But I can't." He wasn't sure if this conversation was making it better or worse. Would the clean break, the disappearance have made it easier to deal with? He felt like it would have been. Instead, Jake was being so nice about it. Ben couldn't have blamed him for just disappearing and trying the next thing. But was there even anything else? If they'd come looking for him, it must have been their only chance. But what could he do? He certainly didn't trust himself with a scalpel at the minute, he'd barely be able to keep the incision straight, let alone do the delicate surgery.