xxxi feel so damn worthless
xxxanother day is gone
xxxand all my faces are alibis
xxxand me, I'm half the man I wanted to be
So he kept the smile fixed on his face as they walked into the pizza place, laughing at Autumn's declaration about what she wanted. Her gesture made him laugh, but also made him feel guilty. Was she like this with everyone? Or would Jake have to try and explain why they'd met Jake, why they'd been so friendly with him, only for them to leave, just like that? But what other choice did he have at this point? They'd made the bond now, he may as well just stick it out.
He made eye contact with Jake, just for a second, and there was a crazy thought where he wondered if he could go with them. Help them out, find the best medical people he knew, do something. But then it passed, and his reality sat back in. This was just a brief reprieve, a good spell. They had to leave. And there was too much waiting for him back home, too much that he couldn't face. If Jake was already dealing with Autumn being sick, he didn't need to be dealing with Ben as well. Maybe in some other life, it might just be possible.
They got shown to a table quickly enough, and Ben crouched down to let Autumn climb off his back. It was only then that the realisation hit him that people had seen him with Autumn and Jake, and they were going to have questions about why he had been so friendly, so relaxed, so... close to them. More questions he couldn't answer. The more he dwelled on it, the more he wanted to turn and runaway again, hide from everything and everyone. But instead he slid into the booth and picked up his menu. They were going to leave, regardless. So he should just try and enjoy the time he had with them.