CYRUS JAMES
Sigma Chi Delta House, Cyrus' bedroom.
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Before Cyrus could move away and isolate himself in the reality that he would never have Maddox again like this, a drunken hand pulled him back to whatever surreality he'd hopped into when he didn't kick the Beta out of his room. The baby blues widened as Maddox used both of his hands to pull Cyrus into a kiss, a kiss that he'd been refusing to initiate but found himself lost in. He felt his lips chase after Maddox's own even as the other boy dropped his hands into his lap and let his floppy bangs hang onto his tear-stained face.
And just like that, any further actions would have made Cyrus look like the horny frat guy taking advantage of his drunken boy, even if Maddox was the one to pull him in for a kiss.
Maddox's words made Cyrus' heart thud painfully. Everything about this was muddled and confusing and Cyrus didn't understand if he was hurting him or wiggling his way back in with Maddox. Part of him didn't care and wanted to let go. That part of him wanted to leave Maddox in his bed, or worse, kick him out, and lose himself in the pulsing music and whatever drugs he could get his hands on. Forget about Maddox and Isaac, even Jack and Max and all his supportive brothers, even himself.
The other, bigger part of him couldn't do anything but stay.
"I'm not asking you to," Cyrus manages to reply, his voice thick with the tears brimming on his lids that he wouldn't let fall. He had so many other things he wanted to say, to make Maddox feel exactly how he felt when he'd told Cyrus to forget him, but judging by the way the boy was acting right now, he couldn't feel any worse.
Cyrus helps the Beta lay in bed, moving his legs onto the mattress and making him lay down. He tried not to look at Maddox as he stuffed a pillow behind his head and covered him in the soft comforter they'd slept under many times before. Against his better judgment, like he'd been doing ever since Maddox made his way into Cyrus' room that night, he brushes back the dark bangs from Maddox's face and wipes the tears from Maddox's lids.
"I don't..." Cyrus sighs, brushing at his eyes with his forearm, "I don't know why you... did what you did. But I, um... I'm not going to shut you out. You... you decide if you want to fix this."
Cyrus pulls himself away, walking over to the other side of the bed. With his back turned, it's easy to let his own tears pour down his face. Cyrus had never been a very loud crier - save for the sobs that racked his body only a few times before Maddox called him that night - and wanted to keep these to himself. Comforting himself became second nature when the large New York estate held an unfeeling father and an oversized bed he could easily pretend was an oversized hug from his uncle. He needed to see his family again, get some advice from haunt and uncle that would help him decide whether he could move on or hold on tighter.
Cyrus hugged himself as he made it to the other side of the bed, wanting to get in and hold Maddox and pretend the last week never happened. But he'd just be fooling himself.
"But if you're not going to fix this... leave me alone. No matter how many times I beg you to stay." Cyrus breathes out, needing to say that before he practically crumbles into the bed, his body puddled on top of the comforter because even laying under the same comforter would hurt too much.
Cyrus hid the shaking in his body as he held back every emotion bursting to be free. It was exhausting to be the "sober" one, even if he was drunk enough to be honest. He almost wished he was the drunk one, hanging off of Maddox the moment he laid on him and pathetically asking him up to his room. That was what everyone expected, especially Jack. No one expected how this night came out, even Maddox, Cyrus could tell the moment he caught Maddox in his room. He hadn't moved anything, clinging onto a relationship he was the only one still in. He clung onto Maddox's sweatshirt many nights crying into the cologne he missed so much, stared at the picture for hours pretending Maddox was just in the bathroom and would return to the study party for two.
These unrequited feelings exhausted him into a dreamless sleep. When he woke up in the middle of the night, decidedly less drunk but still dizzy, he could blame those feelings when his body turned over to Maddox and his head found comfort on the chest it had so many nights before. His fingers drunkenly lifted at the t-shirt only so they could feel the soft skin underneath and draw circles on the pale landscape. When his sleepy, dizzy eyes pulled themselves up to the Beta's sleeping face, he reached up to press several kisses along Maddox's jaw, allowing himself to forget.
He was curled up on Maddox's side like the past week had never happened, laying half on top of the other boy and falling back asleep to the heartbeat he'd fallen in love with from the start.
And just like that, any further actions would have made Cyrus look like the horny frat guy taking advantage of his drunken boy, even if Maddox was the one to pull him in for a kiss.
Maddox's words made Cyrus' heart thud painfully. Everything about this was muddled and confusing and Cyrus didn't understand if he was hurting him or wiggling his way back in with Maddox. Part of him didn't care and wanted to let go. That part of him wanted to leave Maddox in his bed, or worse, kick him out, and lose himself in the pulsing music and whatever drugs he could get his hands on. Forget about Maddox and Isaac, even Jack and Max and all his supportive brothers, even himself.
The other, bigger part of him couldn't do anything but stay.
"I'm not asking you to," Cyrus manages to reply, his voice thick with the tears brimming on his lids that he wouldn't let fall. He had so many other things he wanted to say, to make Maddox feel exactly how he felt when he'd told Cyrus to forget him, but judging by the way the boy was acting right now, he couldn't feel any worse.
Cyrus helps the Beta lay in bed, moving his legs onto the mattress and making him lay down. He tried not to look at Maddox as he stuffed a pillow behind his head and covered him in the soft comforter they'd slept under many times before. Against his better judgment, like he'd been doing ever since Maddox made his way into Cyrus' room that night, he brushes back the dark bangs from Maddox's face and wipes the tears from Maddox's lids.
"I don't..." Cyrus sighs, brushing at his eyes with his forearm, "I don't know why you... did what you did. But I, um... I'm not going to shut you out. You... you decide if you want to fix this."
Cyrus pulls himself away, walking over to the other side of the bed. With his back turned, it's easy to let his own tears pour down his face. Cyrus had never been a very loud crier - save for the sobs that racked his body only a few times before Maddox called him that night - and wanted to keep these to himself. Comforting himself became second nature when the large New York estate held an unfeeling father and an oversized bed he could easily pretend was an oversized hug from his uncle. He needed to see his family again, get some advice from haunt and uncle that would help him decide whether he could move on or hold on tighter.
Cyrus hugged himself as he made it to the other side of the bed, wanting to get in and hold Maddox and pretend the last week never happened. But he'd just be fooling himself.
"But if you're not going to fix this... leave me alone. No matter how many times I beg you to stay." Cyrus breathes out, needing to say that before he practically crumbles into the bed, his body puddled on top of the comforter because even laying under the same comforter would hurt too much.
Cyrus hid the shaking in his body as he held back every emotion bursting to be free. It was exhausting to be the "sober" one, even if he was drunk enough to be honest. He almost wished he was the drunk one, hanging off of Maddox the moment he laid on him and pathetically asking him up to his room. That was what everyone expected, especially Jack. No one expected how this night came out, even Maddox, Cyrus could tell the moment he caught Maddox in his room. He hadn't moved anything, clinging onto a relationship he was the only one still in. He clung onto Maddox's sweatshirt many nights crying into the cologne he missed so much, stared at the picture for hours pretending Maddox was just in the bathroom and would return to the study party for two.
These unrequited feelings exhausted him into a dreamless sleep. When he woke up in the middle of the night, decidedly less drunk but still dizzy, he could blame those feelings when his body turned over to Maddox and his head found comfort on the chest it had so many nights before. His fingers drunkenly lifted at the t-shirt only so they could feel the soft skin underneath and draw circles on the pale landscape. When his sleepy, dizzy eyes pulled themselves up to the Beta's sleeping face, he reached up to press several kisses along Maddox's jaw, allowing himself to forget.
He was curled up on Maddox's side like the past week had never happened, laying half on top of the other boy and falling back asleep to the heartbeat he'd fallen in love with from the start.