CYRUS JAMES
Sigma Chi Delta House, Cyrus' bedroom.
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For the first time since he stumbled into Maddox's bedroom all those un-lonely nights ago, he felt like he finally understood Maddox's feelings. And now he wished he was just as clueless as before.
The small "okay" that finally pushed itself from Maddox's lips wasn't what brought his eyes back to the other boy in front of him, it was the finger that often found itself tilting Cyrus' gaze to Maddox, usually for a kiss or flirtation that made Cyrus melt. When his own tired eyes met Maddox's eyes, he wondered how much alcohol Maddox had drank last night to hide all that pain. For once, the window to Maddox's emotions had been yanked open like an overheating house on a summer's day.
That's all it took for the confusion to pass. It had been so easy to ignore all of Maddy's own hurt because he'd wanted Maddy to hurt, to feel how he felt being on the other side of the phone call. But seeing this made it so stupidly obvious that Maddox didn't want to call him that night.
Cyrus should've told him there was no need for explanations, he understood that whatever had been done, Maddox didn't want to let Cyrus go. But he was already talking and it would only help Cyrus understand more.
Then Maddox said it would get messy, and he held back a laugh; nothing in their relationship had ever been anything but messy. And yet, as Maddox revealed the hell he'd been through since that day Cyrus had revealed he liked Maddox, nothing seemed to compare.
Cyrus may hate his father, but Reid James paled in comparison to Maddox's father. He'd heard plenty about the older Izumi but this took the cake of bad things Maddox's father had done; taking his son hostage to New York then forcing him to call Cyrus made Cyrus' blood boil. His anger cracked when he heard Maddox's voice crack, making Cyrus believe that Maddox may have been the one more hurt by the phone call shared between the Beta and the Sigma.
He wanted to do a million things right now. Punch Maddox's father, kiss Maddox until he couldn't breathe, even roll a joint and see if his intoxicated brain could process this better than this sober, hungover one could.
All he could do was remove his hands from Maddox's own so he could grab the other boy's face as gently as possible, wiping at the tears not yet shed, and kiss him just as gentle and soft. Still not long enough, he wondered when their kisses would take the breath from his lungs again.
"I'm sorry, Maddy." Cyrus finally speaks, his lips only centimeters away from the other ones he craved even more now that Maddox had pealed back another layer of his defenses for Cyrus. If he hadn't believed Maddox loved him anymore - or ever did - those feelings were made lies with the emotion in the other boy's voice and the hurt in his eyes.
Hurt that he wasn't allowed to feel because he was so worried he'd hurt Cyrus. Cyrus removes his hands from Maddox's face, opting instead to curl his arms around the Beta's neck and hold on for as long as he can. He wanted to convey every feeling of forgiveness and sorrow for Maddox's situation into his arms wrapped around the boy he loved.
He would sit here all day if he could, because everything in his body screamed for him to never let go of Maddox again. He was so afraid that if he did, the other boy would leave again, even if he didn't want to.
Cyrus blamed all these weak feelings on the hangover, because feeling this helpless didn't come naturally to the Sigma boy. He'd felt it on the rain-soaked street as his mother bled out, in the court room as Reid's hand bruised his wrist to yank him out of the court room, and promised himself he'd never be helpless like that.
Maddox Izumi made him feel a lot of ways he wasn't used to feeling.
"I'm going to kick his ass, his fucking ass, Maddy." Cyrus voice wells with tears, angry tears that this man had made Maddox so afraid of what he'd do to Cyrus that Maddox thought breaking his heart was better than holding it tight. "I'm not afraid of that bastard, and nothing... nothing he says or does is going to keep me away from you. I can't lose- I won't let him take you from me again." Cyrus promises into the crook of Maddox's neck, hiding every frustrated tear into the soft skin.
The small "okay" that finally pushed itself from Maddox's lips wasn't what brought his eyes back to the other boy in front of him, it was the finger that often found itself tilting Cyrus' gaze to Maddox, usually for a kiss or flirtation that made Cyrus melt. When his own tired eyes met Maddox's eyes, he wondered how much alcohol Maddox had drank last night to hide all that pain. For once, the window to Maddox's emotions had been yanked open like an overheating house on a summer's day.
That's all it took for the confusion to pass. It had been so easy to ignore all of Maddy's own hurt because he'd wanted Maddy to hurt, to feel how he felt being on the other side of the phone call. But seeing this made it so stupidly obvious that Maddox didn't want to call him that night.
Cyrus should've told him there was no need for explanations, he understood that whatever had been done, Maddox didn't want to let Cyrus go. But he was already talking and it would only help Cyrus understand more.
Then Maddox said it would get messy, and he held back a laugh; nothing in their relationship had ever been anything but messy. And yet, as Maddox revealed the hell he'd been through since that day Cyrus had revealed he liked Maddox, nothing seemed to compare.
Cyrus may hate his father, but Reid James paled in comparison to Maddox's father. He'd heard plenty about the older Izumi but this took the cake of bad things Maddox's father had done; taking his son hostage to New York then forcing him to call Cyrus made Cyrus' blood boil. His anger cracked when he heard Maddox's voice crack, making Cyrus believe that Maddox may have been the one more hurt by the phone call shared between the Beta and the Sigma.
He wanted to do a million things right now. Punch Maddox's father, kiss Maddox until he couldn't breathe, even roll a joint and see if his intoxicated brain could process this better than this sober, hungover one could.
All he could do was remove his hands from Maddox's own so he could grab the other boy's face as gently as possible, wiping at the tears not yet shed, and kiss him just as gentle and soft. Still not long enough, he wondered when their kisses would take the breath from his lungs again.
"I'm sorry, Maddy." Cyrus finally speaks, his lips only centimeters away from the other ones he craved even more now that Maddox had pealed back another layer of his defenses for Cyrus. If he hadn't believed Maddox loved him anymore - or ever did - those feelings were made lies with the emotion in the other boy's voice and the hurt in his eyes.
Hurt that he wasn't allowed to feel because he was so worried he'd hurt Cyrus. Cyrus removes his hands from Maddox's face, opting instead to curl his arms around the Beta's neck and hold on for as long as he can. He wanted to convey every feeling of forgiveness and sorrow for Maddox's situation into his arms wrapped around the boy he loved.
He would sit here all day if he could, because everything in his body screamed for him to never let go of Maddox again. He was so afraid that if he did, the other boy would leave again, even if he didn't want to.
Cyrus blamed all these weak feelings on the hangover, because feeling this helpless didn't come naturally to the Sigma boy. He'd felt it on the rain-soaked street as his mother bled out, in the court room as Reid's hand bruised his wrist to yank him out of the court room, and promised himself he'd never be helpless like that.
Maddox Izumi made him feel a lot of ways he wasn't used to feeling.
"I'm going to kick his ass, his fucking ass, Maddy." Cyrus voice wells with tears, angry tears that this man had made Maddox so afraid of what he'd do to Cyrus that Maddox thought breaking his heart was better than holding it tight. "I'm not afraid of that bastard, and nothing... nothing he says or does is going to keep me away from you. I can't lose- I won't let him take you from me again." Cyrus promises into the crook of Maddox's neck, hiding every frustrated tear into the soft skin.