Celeste smiled widely until her gums showed. Dinner just got much more interesting, she thought, leaning forward to take in his words. He began to quote something she did not recognize, but Celeste found the words beautiful. She closed her eyes as she listened, imagining what she would paint to match this monologue. Swirls of pastel yellows and vibrant oranges first came to mind, contrasted with a deep blue that never seemed to end. Punctuated with shining-starlike dots, the painting in her imagination was one she wished she had in real life.
"That was lovely, don't apologize. I'll admit I'm not familiar with the works, but perhaps over our time together you can show me more. I've always found myself on the other end of the arts, I'm typically too covered in paints to even consider picking up a book." Celeste blushed deeply, realized what she just said. "What I mean..." She began to lose control again, her nerves were on fire in fear she ruined everything. "What I mean, is in all these years literature is yet to gain my interest. I look forward to you helping that change."
What is wrong with you?? He's going to think you're an illiterate cow! Get yourself together, woman! Never before had she struggled to find the right thing to say; it was always an easy performance, being the perfect daughter. But now, things were changing. Playing the role of a perfect daughter might not be the same as the role of a perfect bride. She found this realization daunting, and she feared her inability to step up to meet the standards expected of her.
She was lost in thought when he spoke again, asking what she hoped for in the marriage. An explosion of emotions waved through her. Anger, hope, loss. Celeste was entirely unsure how she felt in this moment. Part of her wanted to scream, and her face showed it. What am I supposed to to want from a marriage I never asked for!? Realistically, she knew this was not Niko's fault, but she wanted to blame him for partaking in it. This was a scheme, set up by the men who had controlled her entire life.
"I want... to still feel free." She said, choosing her words wisely, knowing all eyes were on them. "I do not wish to live a life that feels like a plan my dear father came up with. I do not want to be a political pawn." Her eyes began to water, but she didn't dare let a tear fall. She looked around the table, and recognized looks of pity directed at the young vampire.