xxi feel so damn worthless
xxanother day is gone
xxand all my faces are alibis
xxand me, i’m half the man I wanted to be
xx
xx
But still, they spoke as Jake prepared dinner. At some point, Ben opened the bottle of wine, and they started drinking it. The conversation flowed as they told stories of their college lives, of bad dates, of crazy stories. At some point, Ben relaxed. Felt his walls start to drop for the first time in years. He laughed more in an evening than he had in months. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t acutely aware of the alcohol’s grip on them, even as they opened a second bottle. This is irresponsible, one voice said. Another told him to drain his glass.
“That food was amazing,” he sighed. It had reminded him of his love for Asian food, of what actual good home cooked food was like. He leaned his head on Jake’s shoulder almost subconsciously. He wanted to say he was glad that Jake had found him, but he wasn’t quite drunk enough for that, because it sounded like he was glad Autumn was sick. And that wasn’t right. But Ben didn’t know how the hell he was going to find someone else like this.
“It’s gonna be lonely when you go back,” he mumbled, half to himself.