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Snippet #2776331

located in San Francisco, a part of 43800, one of the many universes on RPG.

San Francisco

None

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song
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ben chapman
Image
ļ½› dialogue: #bbc89c; outfit: here ļ½

xxi feel so damn worthless
xxanother day is gone
xxand all my faces are alibis
xxand me, iā€™m half the man I wanted to be
xx
In his darkest moments, all Ben had wanted was to not be alone. To have someone else there who would make the emptiness seem a little less empty. But now, the thought of bringing someone else in... it terrified him. Especially because that person was Jake, who had already lost and who still had to lose. He didn't need Ben's demons too. He had enough. But the feeling of someone holding his hands still, of just that physical contact making him feel a little more human.. he didn't want to walk away. There was a voice humming in the back of his mind, reminding him that this was something more, something that another presence in his life wouldn't make go away. Something serious and dark and... but this was his punishment. If he'd taken the call, he would have been able to help. If he'd taken a cushy lectureship, he would have been able to help even more people. He'd made the choice. This was the result.

He smiled a little sadly at Jake. "Thank you. But... you need to prioritise Autumn. And yourself. You shouldn't have to worry about me as well," he said, softly, quietly. But he reached out again to take Jake's hand and squeeze it. He wanted to stay in that moment, but it wasn't the right thing to do. Someone else needed them. "We should go back. The doctors might have some news." He said, letting go of Jake's hand and getting to his feet. He just wanted to do his best to help in one way or another.

He would have been lying if he said he was fine. The memories were burning in the back of his mind, making his heart pound and his thoughts race. But he needed to be here. He needed to be present for them.