Snippet #2804355

Everything that had come out of her mouth after the initial push of Soren, had come out without her thinking. She just had so much pain, anger, regret, and it had all been festering. Festering for years without any outlet to expose of it. She kept how she felt to herself for years, everything that she had been put through, she had been silent. She kept how she felt about everything to herself, and never let it out. She simply kept it building, and building. It was only a certain amount of time until everything came unraveled, and it only snowballed from there. She wasn't angry at Soren, or anyone else. She was angry at herself. She let herself be pushed around and walked over by everyone for years, and never said a thing. Sure, she called people out on their bullshit after doing something stupid, like the night Soren told her about him and Pri having slept together. Sure, it was stupid and irresponsible. But she had no room to judge, and the judgment she gave was minor at best. Erin simply called him an idiot and that he should have known better, and Khepri should have known better, especially with her fiance. Erin hadn't really cared much after calling Soren out on his bullshit, and she, sure enough, called out Khepri for it as well. She told them both that it was incredibly stupid, and that if they wanted to keep things up, it was best to keep her out of it. Then when things with Lauren happened, both the cheating of both Lauren and Soren, she, sure enough, had called them out as well on that. She called them out on everything, even after the break up when Soren kept going back to Lauren, but she kept how she felt about the situation to herself and only let small amounts of frustration out whenever Soren went back to her. It was a deadly mix of alcohol, mistakes, lust, and sex and everyone knew it. But they had no right to judge as they were all guilty of something stupid, therefore they kept silent for the most part.

But even after all of that, even when Lauren and Soren finally broke up for the last time which resulted in everyone separating in their senior year, Erin was there. She was there for Soren, Lauren, Nate, Rebecca, all of them. Even Alexander and Khepri, she listened to them and heard them out, being the mediator half the time for their petty squabbles and bullshit. But just as always, she kept how she felt about everything to herself. Burying it deep and hidden away where no one could see. Everyone else had their own bullshit to deal with, and she knew it. They didn't need to hear her out, or her own issues and troubles. She was the one they came to when someone needed to vent, and she listened. Only giving her peace when it was all said and done. And now, now she had enough. After years of listening to everyone and their issues, their bullshit and problems. Their drama and so-called bad times. She was there, and she had enough. After the group split, with Soren and Khepri and Rebecca leaving without a word, with only a few of the others staying in New York, Erin had no one. She tried putting the pieces back together. Tried reaching out to them. She tried everything, but they all simply didn't want anything to do with her. Even after all that she had done for them. After every little thing, they tossed her out and left her to the curb. While everyone else was traveling the world and making a life for themselves, she groveled and made her way to where she somehow managed to end up now.

Looking where it got her, she couldn't help but scoff. Losing her friends, the ones she gave everything up for, and the one she only ever truly cared for, walked out on her. Hanging her high and dry. She expected it from some, but some hurt more than others. Such as Soren. They had been the best and closest of friends. No matter what, they had been there for each other. Through the good, bad, and the ugly, they were there for each other. Through their first heartbreak, to their stupid decisions. To being each other's first person to come out to, and know that no matter what anyone else said, they'd have each other's backs. From the petty fights they had, they always came back and apologized, to the nights where they'd travel to upper state New York and just star gaze in the middle of the woods while getting overly drunk and sharing each other's secrets and troubles. Get away from the city and others, and just talk. The two of them. So when Soren just upped and left with his band, leaving the East coast and going to the other side of the country, without a word. She had experienced pain and depression, but that was what did her in. Leaving her without a word, no explanation. Nothing. Not even a simple, I'm sorry, which would have sufficed. Hell, even a simple postcard to know he even thought about her would have been enough. But she got radio silence for years. And not just from Soren, but everyone else. Even Nate. She felt like she had been taken advantage of, and as such she began to become more closed off and reserved as the years went on. Seeing how everyone seemed to forget about her, she simply tried to not care. But she couldn't. It hurt because she cared too much, and tried to act like it didn't affect her. Act like nothing ever got to her, and pretended everything was okay. Even if she did spend years wondering what she did wrong. What had she done to make everyone leave? Was she not worth keeping around? Was she simply being used for her kindness and being there to lean on by others? Probably, but she did whatever she had to, to keep her friends together, even if it was just to keep them in her life and to know she was actually cared for by them still.

It was only when the others reached out over time, first it was Nate. He needed a place to go and a roof over his head, and seeing how after the years went on she had her own place, she let him sleep on her couch for the first few weeks. She promised him no matter what she wouldn't kick him out on the street as she knew how that was, and how bad a life like that was. They lived together for about six months when Erin had finally asked if he wanted a job. After more or less demanding he took the spot she was offering, they lived together for a few more months before he moved out and moved in with a group of friends. Having him work for her was one of the ways she could guarantee he'd stay around, and he proved to be a good worker, even if he needed a little motivation sometimes. All that mattered was that she had one semblance of normalcy again. One person, she knew she could trust to have her back, everything was gonna be okay. Eventually, Soren reached out again. At first she was hesitant due to not knowing the real reason for him reaching out to her. But after a small exchange of words, they promised to just move on and forget about it. That it wasn't that big of a deal. Even if it wasn't entirely true. His leaving hurt her more than anyone else, even Rebecca. But she refused to dwell on that.

But now, now she stood in a room with everyone back again. In one room, excluding one individual. She pushed her thoughts out of her mind as reality set in. With the mix of people yelling at Kyle, and telling him to leave, to everyone yelling at her, it was all a blur. One moment she was telling Soren to fuck off, telling her how she felt about everything. That everything that happened had hurt her, far too much. She could have said it any other time, and maybe she should have. But a match was lit, the gas have been poured, and it was only a matter of time until everything was set alight. And before she could catch a single ember, everything was set on fire as Soren stumbled backward from her shove, mumbling under his breath as he struggled to say sorry, and fell. Collapsing onto the floor. Erin watched in silence for a few seconds for any movement. After nothing happened, she rolled her eyes. He was always one for pulling things and over exaggerating. She looked around as the others quickly jumped into action, kneeling by his side. Erin nudged him with her foot, speaking up after a moment as her voice cleared and her tears were dry. "Wake the fuck up, you over dramatic bitch ass. It's not funny, Soren." she said rather harshly. But after a few minutes, she knew something wasn't right. From the way he had been acting a few moments prior, or more so the whole time. Something was off, so very off and not right. Erin quickly moved past the others, kneeling down next to him as genuine fear and worry overcame him. "Soren, c'mon." she said as she nudged him by the shoulder. Everything went silent as she only heard two words come from Lex. Everything else fell silent as the reality of the situation hit her.

"Overdose."

Just that one word, and everything came crashing down on her at once. It wasn't right, right? Soren wouldn't have done this...right? Besides, he only had a few drinks, or at least that's what she was aware of. She didn't think that a few drinks that she made would have been that much to knock him on his ass, not this hard anyway. It was when a few other ramblings came by and registered. A mixture of words went in and came out without a thought, but the ones that hit her were, overdose and medication. Everything froze in that moment. It wasn't possible, Soren wasn't on any medication, at least she wasn't aware until she looked up, seeing those all too familiar bottles on the counter. Fuck..., she thought to herself. She rifled through her jacket's pockets, trying to find them. If they were even there. Horror struck when her hands grazed through the interior of her pockets, nothing feeling anything that even resembled her own medication bottles. Only a lighter, a pack of gum and her phone. She froze in place, she knew she came with her medication in her pockets. She knew full well, she didn't go anywhere without them. So, where did they go? She wanted to move, to just get up and look for them. She had to find them. No one could know. Not now. Not in a time like this. Not after...Not this. She wasn't able to move how hard she tried. Her body just wouldn't move. Everything was frozen in place and anchored to the ground, her hand gripping Soren's arm. That all too familiar burning began forming behind her eyes as everything finally hit her like a brick wall. Why? Why would he...Why would he do this? He promised, no matter what, that he wouldn't. He wouldn't take the easy way out, not after everything that they'd bee through. And not after the time she told him that she had made a mistake...So, why now? She didn't know what came first, the waterfall of tears as she begged and pleaded with Soren to wake up, to be fine and not let this be the reality.

Her voice cracked and shattered, barely above a whisper as she yelled, pleaded, begged for him to just wake up. Wake up and call her an asshole. Let her know that she went too far, that she was wrong. Hell, blame everything on her, tell her everything was her fault. Anything at all. Just don't let this be the reality for them. Not like this. She didn't know what happened next, or hear anything as that soft, dull and numbing ring echoed throughout her head. All she knew was that she was pulled away from Soren as other came into the apartment, taking him away as she was sat down somewhere else. Everything was just a blank slate, as she sat there in silence. Not moving, not saying a thing. Her eyes were anchored down where Soren had been, and just stared. Her knuckles turned white as her face went from red and tear-stained, to pale as a ghost. Erin sat there, in an unmoving anchored state. She had done this. She did this to Soren. She yelled at him, told him to fuck off, and only pushed him away. She was responsible for this, for everything. And now, now she was responsible for everything that had happened. Everything was her fault, and she couldn't explain why. She couldn't tell them the truth about what happened at Lauren's party, and what happened there, and she couldn't tell anyone of what she did here. Everything was just one big, fucked up mistake. And it was her fault. She'd have to live with the fact that she had hurt two people she once called friends. No matter how hard she tried, no matter what she did, it was all her fault and she'd have to accept it. Erin sat there in complete silence, unmoving as she wasn't able to regain her composure, nothing would take her out of her current state. Not that she wanted to, she was responsible for the possible murder of her friend, and she didn't know how she was supposed to live with herself...

Everything had happened so fast, and everything was an ultimate nightmare. He shouldn't have been there. He should have stayed at the station and continued on with his report with the investigation. They had no major leads or any proper concrete evidence to point themselves in the right direction. Everything they had was simply circumstantial and speculation for what happened that night at Lauren Clark's party. All they had known for certain, was that Lauren Clark was murdered sometime before midnight, her cause of death was known, and who the suspects were was everyone at the party. That was unless the killer had escaped and left the apartment before getting caught. Their only reasoning for ruling that out, was the all the tension and bad blood in the group. Their history, which Kyle knew far too much came into the investigation. And it just felt wrong. Knowing what he had to do, and what he wanted to do were two entirely different things. But now, now he was in the middle of an all out argument, which he half blocked out as his brain went into lockdown mode. A self-preservation mode he created for himself as a way of dealing with trauma and anything of that nature. It was one of the few things that him and Erin both shared, mainly from their past experiences with their own parents and upbringing, to his own disorder, as well as Erin's. He was only brought back down to earth when suddenly, a loud and demanding voice broke the silence.

Alexander had yelled for everyone to shut up and listen up. Blinking back into reality, Kyle looked over to see what the commotion was. His eyes widened with horror. Soren had fallen and was lying on the ground with a slowly overgrowing group of people crowding around him. At first he wasn't certain about what happened, not until Lex and Nate began searching Soren over and came to a conclusion. Overdose. That was all it took. Kyle immediately went into action, pushing his way through the crowd, kneeling next to Lex and Nate as they told him to do something. He was a cop, right? So he must have a way of helping, even getting to a hospital faster if he could. He silently looked at Lex for a moment, trying to compose himself as he tried to formulate his words properly. His eyes never meeting Lex's as he spoke, only to be looking just past him. "Yeah...yeah...I....I have someone outside who...who can get him there...there...there faster." he stuttered, fumbling over his words. One of the few things he never overcame was his stutter, especially under overtly stressful situations. Kyle immediately got to his feet, taking out his phone and speed dialing Cass. His call with her was brief as he tried explaining the situation to her, only saying that they'd need a ride to the hospital and that they'd need to lights and siren to get there.

Kyle immediately looked around, trying to figure out what to do. He knew full well they'd be able to get him there, but he'd have to stay back here and look into things. Gather clues on what happened and ask people what they saw, if anything. All over again. He knew this group was trouble, but god damn he never thought they'd possibly be involved in two potential homicides. He watched as people helped lift Soren and carry him out, a few of the others leaving as they'd be going to the hospital with him. Kyle looked around and his eyes landed back on Lex, "The car with the sirens is where my partner is waiting. Just help Soren inside and she'll take them there." he said quickly, his eyes glancing about the room. Now was his time to act, and do what he did best. But first, his eyes landed on one more person, and he felt his heart leap into his throat. Erin had been moved to a corner of the room, where she sat in silence. He knew simply by the look on her face that she was disassociating, and by what had happened and had been said, he knew it would be hard to get her to saw anything of importance. He walked over to her and knelt in front of her, gently cupping her hands in his. "Erin, I know you can hear me, so I don't expect you to say anything. But just listen, and do your best to tell me." he said softly, feeling his eyes begin to burn. She was always there for him in his episodes, rarely ever having to be there for her. But now, now he had to do something. And as much as he hated this, he knew he had to. "When..When was the last time you took your meds? And I don't mean whenever this happens, I mean actually took them when you were supposed to?" he questioned, his voice was sturdy and sure, but held some sense of sadness and genuine worry. He studied her face over, knowing full well the answer already. "Did you bring them with you?" he questioned. He waited for her to reply. Not with words, but with her hands and body language. He knew how to communicate, simply ask questions and wait for a physical reaction. Her eyes never left the floor, but her fingers tapped to a rhythm he knew all too well. It was a sign of saying yes in morse code, or better yet their own version they had. He nodded as he slowly stood up, gently squeezing her hands as he turned. He examined the rooms, and seeing two small bottles of medication on the counter.

Kyle eyed them, seeing how they were both closed. He searched more, coming across another one in a separate room. Eyeing the container, it was slightly open. The name on the bottle caused some alarm, for why was it in his room when...When it should have been in...He shook his head, picking up the small orange bottle he stuffed it into his pocket and walked back over to Erin, placing the small bottle in her jacket's pocket. He looked at her, moving close by her ear as he spoke, "Thank me later." he said lowly. He turned back around, reaching into the pocket of his jacket as he removed two latex gloves. He'd have to look for something, any real sign of what he expected was foul play...Or, what everyone was thinking. Overdose, and that Soren had done it to himself, which...Considering everything that had happened, he wouldn't be surprised if Soren resorted to that. But for now, he had a murder case, and now a possible suicide case on his hands. And neither of the options were looking good, nor was the suspect list.