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XX Derynxx#403A60
Deryn allows herself to be comforted by Bertrand, and once they've both calmed enough to walk throughout the castle without looking miserable, she hooks her arm through his with a smile.
Callum is waiting outside the library door, standing perfectly straight. He doesn't look directly at her, doesn't look at Bertrand at all, and she has to hold in tears yet again because it hurts her heart. She catches Bertrand casting quick glances in Callum's direction as they walk through long castle halls, and Deryn can see that his heart is hurting too. What has happened to us, mother?
Bertrand takes her to the same room she and her mother had once shared during their visits, and Deryn feels her breath stop. It feels so long ago, the memories of this room faded by time. But the room is the same, down to the pattern on the bedspread, though it looks much brighter- newer.
Bertrand takes his leave with a tired smile. Callum tells her where his room is and how to get there, then takes his leave with a bow. Deryn watches them go. They stand tall, so strong, and she wishes they didn't have to be strong, wishes they were born into a different life.
But, as much as she wishes it, there's nothing she can do to change their circumstances.
XX ❋
Days pass, and Deryn spends them either surrounded by Bertrand's sisters discussing wedding plans, or escaping the lovely group of women to spend time with Bertrand himself.
The more time she spends with him, the more Deryn comes to see that while Bertrand is the same in many ways, he's still grown, just as she is. When they're together, hiding from responsibility, that sweet, playful boy she remembers is clear as day in his laughter and crooked smiles and a few highly inappropriate conversations she thinks his mother would clobber him for.
But in the presence of the King, sat around a meeting table discussing the kingdom's affairs, she sees another side of him. She sees the King he is destined to become, the wise, honest man he's already learning to be. She sees him as a leader- a man with an entire world upon his shoulders.
It scares her a little, the knowledge that change is already happening, but more than anything, she feels proud. Deryn knows more than anyone how hard it can be to bear such a heavy burden.
While Bertrand is busy, Deryn finds herself sucked into the world of his sisters- the only other Princesses she's ever met. Ainara is quick to establish a friendship and the only phrase Deryn has for little Alouette is that she's fallen in love; quite the ironic twist of events. It's like having siblings again, a feeling she hasn't known since Callum was ordered to stay at a distance.
Even Queen Mavis gravitates toward Deryn, and the first time the woman offers to brush her hair for her, Deryn cries, because for the first time since her mother died, she feels truly embraced.
Deryn sits on a cushioned footstool next to Ainara, bent over a table covered in a variety of white fabrics. She's supposed to be finding the one she likes best, but Alouette keeps pulling her hair as she ties colored ribbons into it, ruining her concentration and helpfully keeping thoughts of her impending marriage at bay. Queen Mavis sits on another couch looking over lace patterns.
There are several women-in-waiting scattered about the room fixing tea or dusting or just watching, clearly invested in Deryn's choices, and they all look up when a soft knock at the door sounds throughout the room. Bertrand peeks in, and Deryn gets the feeling she's being rescued.
"Excuse me ladies, Your Majesty. I know I am interrupting, but I was hoping to take my betrothed for a stroll in the garden." Deryn quirks and eyebrow. "That is, if it pleases her."
Yes, definitely a rescue. Deryn forces down a laugh.
Alouette and Ainara are both quick to object, but Queen Mavis is just as quick to quiet them, and Deryn hopes the look of gratitude on her face is enough to show her thanks. The Queen suggests a walk through the gardens and Deryn smiles wider, because that is exactly where she likes to be, and she bows to the gathering as gracefully as she can before hurrying to Bertrand's side.
Callum has made the decision that Deryn is perfectly protected alone with Bertrand, so there's no around to hear when they both break out into graceless laughter, the sound bouncing off the walls. Deryn runs a hand over her now-tangled hair and giggles, all thoughts of marriage drifting away.
"They are really trying to make everything perfect, aren’t they?" Bertrand sighs.
"Yes, but you can't blame them," Deryn says, straightening one of Alouette's bows. "It's the one and only marriage of the heir to their kingdom. Of course they'd want it to be perfect."
They make their way out into the garden and Deryn lets go of Bertrand to get a closer look at the blooming pink and white trees lining the path. "I think a part of them wants to show of a little, too. Prove to me that the beauty and splendor of their kingdom wasn't just nostalgia."
Deryn pauses, takes a deep breath. "There's a part of me that feels like their kindness is all for nothing. A part of me that knows I might never belong here, try and try as I might. I'm not here because I love you, and I think they know that, but how could I ever hope to be a part of this place when the reason I'm here is a lie?" Deryn spills her heart to Bertrand yet again.
Deryn allows herself to be comforted by Bertrand, and once they've both calmed enough to walk throughout the castle without looking miserable, she hooks her arm through his with a smile.
Callum is waiting outside the library door, standing perfectly straight. He doesn't look directly at her, doesn't look at Bertrand at all, and she has to hold in tears yet again because it hurts her heart. She catches Bertrand casting quick glances in Callum's direction as they walk through long castle halls, and Deryn can see that his heart is hurting too. What has happened to us, mother?
Bertrand takes her to the same room she and her mother had once shared during their visits, and Deryn feels her breath stop. It feels so long ago, the memories of this room faded by time. But the room is the same, down to the pattern on the bedspread, though it looks much brighter- newer.
Bertrand takes his leave with a tired smile. Callum tells her where his room is and how to get there, then takes his leave with a bow. Deryn watches them go. They stand tall, so strong, and she wishes they didn't have to be strong, wishes they were born into a different life.
But, as much as she wishes it, there's nothing she can do to change their circumstances.
XX ❋
Days pass, and Deryn spends them either surrounded by Bertrand's sisters discussing wedding plans, or escaping the lovely group of women to spend time with Bertrand himself.
The more time she spends with him, the more Deryn comes to see that while Bertrand is the same in many ways, he's still grown, just as she is. When they're together, hiding from responsibility, that sweet, playful boy she remembers is clear as day in his laughter and crooked smiles and a few highly inappropriate conversations she thinks his mother would clobber him for.
But in the presence of the King, sat around a meeting table discussing the kingdom's affairs, she sees another side of him. She sees the King he is destined to become, the wise, honest man he's already learning to be. She sees him as a leader- a man with an entire world upon his shoulders.
It scares her a little, the knowledge that change is already happening, but more than anything, she feels proud. Deryn knows more than anyone how hard it can be to bear such a heavy burden.
While Bertrand is busy, Deryn finds herself sucked into the world of his sisters- the only other Princesses she's ever met. Ainara is quick to establish a friendship and the only phrase Deryn has for little Alouette is that she's fallen in love; quite the ironic twist of events. It's like having siblings again, a feeling she hasn't known since Callum was ordered to stay at a distance.
Even Queen Mavis gravitates toward Deryn, and the first time the woman offers to brush her hair for her, Deryn cries, because for the first time since her mother died, she feels truly embraced.
Deryn sits on a cushioned footstool next to Ainara, bent over a table covered in a variety of white fabrics. She's supposed to be finding the one she likes best, but Alouette keeps pulling her hair as she ties colored ribbons into it, ruining her concentration and helpfully keeping thoughts of her impending marriage at bay. Queen Mavis sits on another couch looking over lace patterns.
There are several women-in-waiting scattered about the room fixing tea or dusting or just watching, clearly invested in Deryn's choices, and they all look up when a soft knock at the door sounds throughout the room. Bertrand peeks in, and Deryn gets the feeling she's being rescued.
"Excuse me ladies, Your Majesty. I know I am interrupting, but I was hoping to take my betrothed for a stroll in the garden." Deryn quirks and eyebrow. "That is, if it pleases her."
Yes, definitely a rescue. Deryn forces down a laugh.
Alouette and Ainara are both quick to object, but Queen Mavis is just as quick to quiet them, and Deryn hopes the look of gratitude on her face is enough to show her thanks. The Queen suggests a walk through the gardens and Deryn smiles wider, because that is exactly where she likes to be, and she bows to the gathering as gracefully as she can before hurrying to Bertrand's side.
Callum has made the decision that Deryn is perfectly protected alone with Bertrand, so there's no around to hear when they both break out into graceless laughter, the sound bouncing off the walls. Deryn runs a hand over her now-tangled hair and giggles, all thoughts of marriage drifting away.
"They are really trying to make everything perfect, aren’t they?" Bertrand sighs.
"Yes, but you can't blame them," Deryn says, straightening one of Alouette's bows. "It's the one and only marriage of the heir to their kingdom. Of course they'd want it to be perfect."
They make their way out into the garden and Deryn lets go of Bertrand to get a closer look at the blooming pink and white trees lining the path. "I think a part of them wants to show of a little, too. Prove to me that the beauty and splendor of their kingdom wasn't just nostalgia."
Deryn pauses, takes a deep breath. "There's a part of me that feels like their kindness is all for nothing. A part of me that knows I might never belong here, try and try as I might. I'm not here because I love you, and I think they know that, but how could I ever hope to be a part of this place when the reason I'm here is a lie?" Deryn spills her heart to Bertrand yet again.