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āA second return, but what for? And for whom was I brought back?ā
ćÉĪ¹Ī±ĘĻgĻ Ń cĻĘĻŃ:#0C94CC ā ŃŠ½ĻĻ gŠ½Ń cĻĘĻŃ #CC0C2Eć
|| Azalea|| Nano.ripe ||
ćÉĪ¹Ī±ĘĻgĻ Ń cĻĘĻŃ:#0C94CC ā ŃŠ½ĻĻ gŠ½Ń cĻĘĻŃ #CC0C2Eć
|| Azalea|| Nano.ripe ||
What kind of person would she be if she were born someone else? A different mother, with no money, no resources, no genetic enhancements. No fortune or fame. Who would she have been? Would she have even been able to become a Vassal? A Servant? The black eagle did not know, curling up on her bed as she tried to decipher everything. Winter said she deserved it. But Winter was a kind person who thought well of her. "Perhaps I just need time." Time to learn to accept herself. All of this fighting forced her to come to terms with who she was. A cold, analytical person. Unfriendly, anti-socal. Not kind at all, especially compared to Winter. Was she somewhat of a freak? She certainly was not like the others.
"You're the Heir of Fortune." Zeus had told her before dinner yesterday after the debacle of Carter and Winter. "Now you have new and unique duties to uphold. You're no stranger to Olympia, so we can get right to discussion your new identities." Zeus looked over the other new Heirs, guaging each and every one of them. The Heir of Sand. Courage. Dawn. All wonderful, beautiful things. Fortune was nice too, a good concept. But deep down it made Elise hollow. "You former humans showed great dignity and honor in protecting not only your world, but ours as well. We all thank you and expect more of the same going into the future. Your good characters are why you earned the privelege of becoming an Heir and standing equally with all of us." Carter had a strange fire in his eye. Ezra pumped his fist, eager to get the meeting over with. Serenity listened with rapt attention, a new sparkle to her pretty lavender locks.
All wonderful, worthy people. All capable of embracing their new identities with grace. Strong, strong hearts, strong minds, forged of their own wills. They had a lot to speak for them. What was it like? To be self assured in your worth? To know you have value and to truly believe it? "Impossible." Elise murmured, getting up. Her legs were her own. Her body belonged to no one but herself. Still, she had not been able to eat much of anything during the dinner. In the heat of the moment it was easy to know what had to be done. What needed to be done. But after the fact, after victory was attained, guilt could mire, stir, stew on her mind, eating and gnawing away at the shaky foundations of sanity. What was left? What was left? How was she expected to know that kind of answer?
The sound of the night insects singing to each other was certainly something as she walked, barefoot, around the palace. Would she have a palace of her own one day? It was strange to consider, definitely. Cruel. She did not accept Jasmine, even to the end. Ruthless. How many lost their lives because she let a dragon loose in a zone where countless civilians lived? How much blood was on her soul forever? Hades had judged her a sinner. Was he really wrong? Elise looked into the abyss, gazing with her blood red eyes. What looked back at her? Whatever it was, she knew she did not like the image she saw reflecting back at her. A part of her expected Ezra's arms to wrap around her. "What are you thinking so much for? Just live for the moment!" He might have said, if he were here, and not fast asleep on the couch in a different wing of the Palace.
Elise shook her head, sitting down by the flowers. No, her mental struggles was simply a new battlefield, one that only she had the right to fight in. "Hypocrite." Garrel Lawson might have said, had he been alive. "You were kind to me, you made me love you, and then you reject me in the end? You love that commoner before me?" She almost laughed, wondering if Garrel was even capable of thought anymore. How far in Hell was he? Elise did not know, but it was far beyond her now. "I expect the same dignity and honor." Zeus told them all. He wanted them to be good. To be worthy. To matter.
Insane. A fake. A mask, hiding emptyiness behind the plastic. What was she, really? "I will go back to bed." She said quietly, sighing. She had heard theories about this. About how conflict can affect the mind. Some learn to thrive in it, like Ezra. Some only pretend to be strong when it ends like Carter. Others coast through strong and well, like Serenity. Others grow up far too quickly, like Oliver. Not everyone can come out whole. Not everyone can come out fine. "Oh well." She would not burden anyone else with it. She was still stuck in the war, but it was now in her mind instead of any physical sense.
"Good morning." Elise said with a small, quiet smile. Ezra looked at her, grinning from ear to ear. "Winter's gonna show us the ropes. I'm so glad you decided to become an Heir too. We're going to have a long time together, aren't we?" He was so happy. Did he know? Did he see? "It will certainly be exciting." Elise nodded, taking his hand, finding a comfortable nook in his palm for her to fit her own hand. "I am very excited to learn all there is to learn about this new role." Ezra nodded, squeezing her hand in his. "Good to hear! You're never excited about much, but there's some life in you yet. Try to eat more though, alright? Zeus says you can eat food normally now." Her stomach twisted on knots. Food still tasted awful. "I will try." She nodded. "I can smell it already. Let us go meet the others."