SOREN BOWERS
xi wonder if you feel kinda like i feel, temporary
xfixed on a moment, just out of focus
xand we can't quite see
xbeing us ain't good for us
Xan's answer wasn't exactly the one he'd wanted. In a lot of ways, he'd been hoping that everyone felt exactly the same as him, unable to remember even who he was. But then she said that she'd hardly been able to remember things when she was alive; and he found himself wondering if having things to forget was one of the reasons he'd lost so many of his memories. He wanted to ask Xan more; but then they were interrupted by somebody else coming in. It was Erin. He wanted to talk to Erin as well, he realised; but not here, not like this. Having heart to hearts about what the hell had happened in their previous lives seemed like the type of thing that should happen one on one, not in a random kitchen with an audience.
However, she didn't seem to have much of a memory either, which was something of a comfort. Maybe he wasn't entirely alone in this either. Her declaration that he'd done music was a strange feeling. Because when she said it, his feeling was "yeah that's right", something that he instinctively knew without realising that that knowledge had been there all along. And now he remembered it, it felt like a puzzle piece had been slotted into a part of him that had been a gaping void only moments before. But of course music was his thing. He just nodded and smiled a little at her, his stomach sinking at the realisation that he couldn't remember anything similar about her. But he'd known her. He knew that much.
He gave Xan an awkward, but genuine, smile as Erin left. "Trust me, I think I know exactly what's going on in her head," he admitted with an awkward laugh. He frowned as Xan asked the smart speaker to play a song, wondering what she was doing. At first, there was a blank there; the words not ringing any bells. And then, it was like somebody flicked a switch. It wasn't just that he could remember the words; he could see the sheet music, could see the piano keys. His face broke into a huge grin without even realising, and as Xan put her back against his, he knew exactly what to do.
"She's a killer Queeeeeeeeen," he sang, hitting the high notes effortlessly. The words came without him having to think about them. In that moment, it felt like nothing had changed; like they were still dumb teenagers goofing around in the auditorium and like time hadn't changed at all. "Gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind!
He'd somehow missed them being joined by two others in the kitchen until Nixie joined in with singing the next verse. He laughed at her facial expressions, shooting Xan a look and starting some improvised choreography as the two girls sang, hoping that she'd join in as well. He was no dancer, he never had been, but he could somehow remember some of the choreography from the rehearsals he'd been in. And then they hit the chorus again and it seemed like they were all singing now. The memories of the night before were long gone, banished from everyone's minds, as they just goofed around and sang their hearts out. When he was singing, he swore all of the memories were clearer and didn't disappear the minute he tried to grasp them.
However, she didn't seem to have much of a memory either, which was something of a comfort. Maybe he wasn't entirely alone in this either. Her declaration that he'd done music was a strange feeling. Because when she said it, his feeling was "yeah that's right", something that he instinctively knew without realising that that knowledge had been there all along. And now he remembered it, it felt like a puzzle piece had been slotted into a part of him that had been a gaping void only moments before. But of course music was his thing. He just nodded and smiled a little at her, his stomach sinking at the realisation that he couldn't remember anything similar about her. But he'd known her. He knew that much.
He gave Xan an awkward, but genuine, smile as Erin left. "Trust me, I think I know exactly what's going on in her head," he admitted with an awkward laugh. He frowned as Xan asked the smart speaker to play a song, wondering what she was doing. At first, there was a blank there; the words not ringing any bells. And then, it was like somebody flicked a switch. It wasn't just that he could remember the words; he could see the sheet music, could see the piano keys. His face broke into a huge grin without even realising, and as Xan put her back against his, he knew exactly what to do.
"She's a killer Queeeeeeeeen," he sang, hitting the high notes effortlessly. The words came without him having to think about them. In that moment, it felt like nothing had changed; like they were still dumb teenagers goofing around in the auditorium and like time hadn't changed at all. "Gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind!
He'd somehow missed them being joined by two others in the kitchen until Nixie joined in with singing the next verse. He laughed at her facial expressions, shooting Xan a look and starting some improvised choreography as the two girls sang, hoping that she'd join in as well. He was no dancer, he never had been, but he could somehow remember some of the choreography from the rehearsals he'd been in. And then they hit the chorus again and it seemed like they were all singing now. The memories of the night before were long gone, banished from everyone's minds, as they just goofed around and sang their hearts out. When he was singing, he swore all of the memories were clearer and didn't disappear the minute he tried to grasp them.