SinfulSoul4000: y0 poodle.
SinfulSoul4000: So I was driving.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d:
Oh?SinfulSoul4000: You know, minding my own business.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Coming to give Tonia and Ifood?
SinfulSoul4000: Yeah, I was just on my way ya know?
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: haha
SinfulSoul4000: 'cause I found some chicken in my fridge.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Did you get in a wreck?
SinfulSoul4000: Yeah, it was hidden way in the back.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Eww.
SinfulSoul4000: So I was minding my own business, and then BAM, KAPLOW, WHAM, SCREEEEEEEEECH, AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WHOA! ...Dude...
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: OMG! Are you okay?!
SinfulSoul4000: Yeah. I was stopped at a stop light and this car thinks it's some kinda mechanical bull.
SinfulSoul4000: But my car is pimp status, ya know?
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Hahaha, yeah
SinfulSoul4000: It's got an ass of steel, yeah.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: So it's okay. :s
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Pretend the period is a question mark.
SinfulSoul4000: So this mechanical bull reeks hell on my pimp status ass, ya know?
SinfulSoul4000: It gives it it's all.
SinfulSoul4000: It like backs up, and then rams it again and again.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Are you serious?
SinfulSoul4000: It really wanted a piece of that ass.
SinfulSoul4000: So I'm like WHOA dawg.
SinfulSoul4000: And you know, the first thing I'm thinking is "SHIT, DON'T SPILL THE DEW!"
SinfulSoul4000: So I like swirve to the left because this thing is ramming my ass at 40 mph.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: XD!
SinfulSoul4000: And if it rammed anymore, I was gonna give the car in front of me some love taps.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: How damaged is your pimp mobile?
SinfulSoul4000: So yeah. I use my pimp status to halt the car. I step out of the car, slightly dazed. You know, whip lash on an ass pounding that hard kinda doesn't make you think.
SinfulSoul4000: So I step out, and since I swirved to the left I'm in the middle lane changing lane.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: mmhmm
SinfulSoul4000: And I'm like "Whoa... Dude..."
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: You should be a story teller.
SinfulSoul4000: I turn my head up, and I see the lights of heaven... Or maybe it was the fire of hell coming at me with the speed of a thousand horses.
SinfulSoul4000: Naturally I remember to close the door and I like dive onto the hood of my car.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: At least you closed the door.
SinfulSoul4000: And I'm hiding behind the front bumper of my car looking for Death, ready to stare him in the face...From the front wheels of my car.
SinfulSoul4000: So I carefully inspect the area, and once I find the battlefield clear of all foes, I go to assess the damage done to my pimpness.
SinfulSoul4000: Naturally I go right... Back into the changing lane.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: You dork.
SinfulSoul4000: I see the back left side of my car. I see scratches, the white paint chipped... It's flesh scathed beyond repair.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Aww.
SinfulSoul4000: I break down. I couldn't bare to see any more.
SinfulSoul4000: But then I look up, and I stare the one who caused my pimp status such pain.
SinfulSoul4000: This mechanical bull was like none I had ever seen.
SinfulSoul4000: It had it's mouth wide, like it was ready to chew. The upper lip was bent down, I could see it's saliva pouring from the depths of his throat.
SinfulSoul4000: It was spewing all over the floor, it must have been acid. Steam rose from the ground as it fell, singing the ground beneath it.
SinfulSoul4000: The bottom lip seemed to have fallen off in it's attempt to eat my ass.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: haha
SinfulSoul4000: I suppose it was harder than expected to chew, the teeth were all gone. I saw it's fragile clear teeth all over the ground.
SinfulSoul4000: It had a tongue like none I had ever seen. The mangled mess was spewing acid with a hunger I cannot even begin to describe.
SinfulSoul4000: I must have broken its legs in some time portal twist, because I don't even remember beating it up. It must have been my pimp status breaking it at the knee caps of it's front legs.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Hahaha
SinfulSoul4000: The poor beast's upper lip eventually fell with a loud thud. I knew it was defeated, the acidic saliva stop spewing out of it's mouth.
SinfulSoul4000: But to my great astonishment, it had a prisoner from within.
SinfulSoul4000: A fair maiden of a kind of a beauty I have never seen before. She must have been from elvish decent, the blonde hair and fair skin was a dead give away.
SinfulSoul4000: Naturally I ran to her side to make sure the beast had not hurt her.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Oh lord.
SinfulSoul4000: Fortunately for her she hadn't suffered any harm, however the beast had taken victim her communications device.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: -Rolls her eyes.- You're such a dweeb.
SinfulSoul4000: I helped her out of the belly of the beast, and being the hero that I am for having saved her from the beast, we made sweet sweet love in the middle of the battleground.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: GAH! TMI!
SinfulSoul4000: Once we had finished, we exchanged numbers... And something she said was "insurance." I suppose she wanted me to propose marriage.
SinfulSoul4000: I tried to explain to her that we had just met, I couldn't make that kind of commitment, but she insisted that she wanted insurance.
SinfulSoul4000: She dug into my pants, I suppose she found what she was looking for.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: LOL
SinfulSoul4000: Only then was she satisfied, but demanding as she was I promised to send word in the future. We parted as the Kings guard arrived to take the beast and my pimp status carriage to the yard.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Oh lord.
SinfulSoul4000: And here I am, a broken man torn between an elven woman and the morals I hold in such high esteem - and need I remind you, pimp-status-carriage-less.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Poor poor Sishy.
SinfulSoul4000: However it seems the King's Guard have noticed my great feats of heroism, and have offered to provide me compensation and a temporary carriage. It will have to do until I find another suitable mode of transport.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: -Snerk-
SinfulSoul4000: Yeah, just another dawggy day in a dawggy world.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Uh huh.
SinfulSoul4000: You know what else is crazy?
SinfulSoul4000: So my friend picks me up after the wreck, and we're driving back to my pad 'cause there's just no point in going to class now.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Other than you?
SinfulSoul4000: I mean... To Tonia's place.
SinfulSoul4000: And on our way back, we count the number of wrecks that we see.
SinfulSoul4000: We counted 6 wrecks on our way back, all within one mile of where mine happened.
Sarcasm Int3nd3d: Wow. ><
SinfulSoul4000: All in the same two-three hour period.
SinfulSoul4000: Rush hour in Tucson is hell.
SinfulSoul4000: Six wrecks...
