The Farm- IC

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:41 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 3

She buried his face in his chest and in response, almost on instinct, Ben brought his arms around her and held her there. In a moment, he could feel something wet and warm soak through two spots on his shirt. Tears. Maybe he should have had tears too. He might even have wanted to shed tears. But, he just couldn't. He just felt empty - just a shell of what he had been with his emotions buried deep down. Ben knew, though, that if anybody could help him to try and bring him back to as close to as normal as possible, it was the woman he held in his arms right now.

For a while, he stood in silence, just holding her. He wanted nothing more than to console her; to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but that would have been a lie. It wasn't going to be okay. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Nothing. The world wasn't ever going to return to how it had been, and even if it did, the people who had survived, if there were any left, would never be the same again.

He had been naive. He had been a fool to think that things could go back. He had been stupid for thinking that he was going to get a chance to see his family again. If they weren't dead already, their days were severely numbered. The thought of losing his family, it brought up something, but it didn't bring up sadness, nor did it bring up tears, but it brought up rage. It seemed that was all he was capable of feeling now, since his ordeal with Mike and Shane. In response to his own anger, he curled his fingers and his flat right palm turned into a balled fist, though he still held both arms around Laney.

But, he had to forget about the people he had grown up with. His parents. His brother. His sister. The friends that he'd gathered all throughout school and work. They were dead now, or as good as it. All he had was pressed up against him and all around him, here in Haven. Ben had allowed himself to be captured, and others had risked their lives to bring him back. He had been the weak one. But, at the same time, if he hadn't been captured by the brothers, someone else from Haven might have and they might not have been so lucky to escape with their life. It could have been Hoppy. It could have been Laney.

It was then and there that he promised himself that he would never let himself fall for something like that again. His naivete and his optimism had made him think the better of the two brothers - that they really were there to help him out.

Never again.

For the first time, he had considered Haven home, and he had to do all he could to keep his home safe.

"Can we go sit?" Laney asked, her voice muffled slightly. "Somewhere quiet, and just be quiet?"

Ben nodded, gently rubbing her back with his right hand, that had once more returned to a flat palm.

"Yeah," he said quietly, his voice cracking slightly. Clearing his throat softly, he affirmed again, "Yeah. Of course."

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Fri Oct 25, 2013 9:55 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 4

One half of command was gone. The farm no longer was the 'command post,' it was just a farm. Tilo left with a smile, it was the least he could do for Callie.

Tilo never had much of an attachment to Monroe, but he had respect for the man. He also knew that Callie was a close friend of his as these couple of weeks had shown. He felt as though she had lost her right hand, the other half (not the better one, but he tried) and it was a severe blow to Haven as a whole.

Callie had remained quiet about how he went, she simply said, dead. He wasn't going to be the impolite one by asking her how, directly. She would be the last person in the world he would ask that, knowing their bond.

He was out of the farm, and in front of him was snow. He found a rock, and sat down. Just tired, really damn tired. He shook his head like a dog, trying to shake the thoughts and the stress from his mind.

He unwrapped the cloth with the biscuits that the Rands had given him. He tried to munch on a morsel, but the food no longer tasted as good as the night before.

He spat what he chewed, disgusted, "Ugh fuck," he sighed.

November 8th, 2013

It had been three days since Monroe died, Callie passed through the stages of grief naturally as did everyone else. But he was still gone. Morale was down, they had not really sent anybody out in the two days, for fear that another November 5th might happen. Tilo found out that Monroe sacrificed himself, heroically if there was a word to describe it. His actions lured zed in for miles, nobody doubted that, it was the same reason Tilo got home alive, it was the same reason Ben, Hoppy, and Jesus never saw zed on their return trip.

His body was long burnt by the huge explosion that consumed Jones farm. Other bodies were in the wilderness, such as Toby's. Tilo remembered that he and Toby had given William a burial in the grounds of Hamilton's retreat. Or they tried to, using planks of metal as makeshift shovels.

Tilo and Mark took it upon themselves to create a small cemetery. They made crosses out of what wood planks they could find, and drove them into the ground with mallets. One was for Monroe, one was for Toby, and another one that Tilo made himself was for William.

The eighth passed on.

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:45 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 5

Laney felt the tension slowly ebb from Ben's body and led him, uninjured left hand in uninjured right hand, into the farmhouse, looking for somewhere private. She instinctively avoided the command centre and kitchen, regular hubs of activity, and eventually settled on one room she knew would be empty; the tiny box room the solitary-minded Toby had claimed for herself. At first she thought it had been cleared out already; the sight of a flannel shirt under the bed just reminded her how little Toby had had by way of personal effects.

She sat on the camp bed and patted the space beside her, indicating that Ben sit down. As the fastenings and hinges creaked, she found herself at a loss for how to begin.

'Holy shit, what a couple of days, huh?' She immediately cursed herself inwardly for trying to make light of the situation. Ben sat quiet as a stone. 'I guess you heard about Monroe and Toby.'

He nodded. Laney felt like she was sitting next to a volcano, equally liable to erupt at any moment or lie dormant for years. 'And Jake from the Caravanners too.'

She picked up his bandaged hand by the ball of the thumb. She ran her fingers over the long, lean lines of the bones in his wrist and forearm. 'How does it feel?' she asked. After a moment's silence, she added: 'Stupid question. Sorry.'

'S'okay,' he grunted. She knew she was procrastinating, and she knew that was most unlike her. But for once, she cared about how her words made someone feel. She took a deep breath.

'Look, Ben, I was pretty out of it when Hoppy told me you were missing, and I've been out all day on a suicide mission, so I don't know exactly what's gone down. But I get that you're hurting - and I don't just mean this.' She ran her fingertips over the thick bandages on the back of his hands and along his remaining fingers. 'And I get that it was fucked up - '

'Laney,' he blurted out, extricating his hand from hers. She drew her hands back suddenly, afraid she'd hurt him. 'Don't. Don't ask me if I want to talk about it.'

'But - '

A frustrated grimace crossed his face; Laney felt like the volcano was rumbling.

'No, Laney! Look, we've all lost people,' Ben said, a lump coming briefly to his throat as he voiced his realisation about his family, his country. 'We've all been hurt. This - ' he held up his injured hand ' - is no different from any of the rest of it, okay?' Somehow, he felt he could shrug off Mark's concern, Hoppy's wallowing, even Callie's furious outburst, but pity from Laney would have been emasculating. Worse than being tied up naked.

'But Ben.' She hated how weak she suddenly sounded, almost pleading. 'Yes, everybody's fucked up, everybody's. That's why we should help each other. Look, couple of days ago, I threw someone to a pack of zombies and then I gave Toby a gun to shoot herself with, so I'm feeling pretty shitty right now, not to mention I monster-bitched that American girl all day today, and I just nearly shot Rishi. And I'm not going to keep that in just because someone else out there is having a shittier day.'

The volcano had subsided again. In fact, that felt worse. She felt shut out again. The prospect of Ben's indifference was worse than anything else he might throw at her. And this new neediness scared her too. At this point with anyone else, she would have thrown them a final 'fuck you' and flounced from the room. She reached out again.

'Ben, come on. I'm your friend. I'm gonna want your help. Let me help you.'

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:15 am

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 6

What?

Ben stood up and took a step away from the bed, his back to Laney and his hands on his hips. He pressed his lips together in a straight line and remained silent. Maybe he should have been more concerned with addressing the issue she was addressing regarding his captivity, but his mind had caught onto something else.

Laney remained sitting on the bed for a few moments, seeming to wait for him to say something. When he didn't, she stood up and approached him cautiously from behind.

"Ben," she began, "Say something. Don't shut me out."

He turned around, angry. This wasn't the blind rage that he had felt when killing Mike or when he had furiously stormed out of the "meeting" with Callie just minutes ago; it was a subdued anger.

"Friends?"

"What?" Laney blinked, seeming taken back by his response.

"Is that all we are, Laney?" Ben stared at her, his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed, "All of this time spent together? The worrying about each other?" It was a guess, but it was a guess based on some pretty strong evidence, "The kiss? None of that means anything?"

The stare he had given her had turned down and away. He wanted to be angry at her, but when he looked at her, he couldn't stay that way.

"Why does it have to mean anything, Ben?" Laney's eyes flashed as she snapped at him. "It doesn't have to mean anything!" She tried to peer through the shaggy hair that hung down over his eyes. "Ben, I'm torn up inside about Monroe and Toby. I'm hurt. I'm scared all the time. All the fucking time. I just want to feel something different. And when I see you I get horny as hell."

Ben's head shot up at this unexpected confession, and, finding Laney staring directly at him, challenging him, he blushed immediately.

"But you want to talk about what it means? Look, I'm fam- I used to be famous. Men used to queue up. I've never had to ask for it, ever, but if that's what it takes, fine. Ben, please fuck me."

Ben blinked. He couldn't deny that he wanted it - that he wanted her. But, he wanted it to be more than just sex. "Laney," he began, "You can't just say that it doesn't mean anything. We kiss. You say you'd like to do it again. You came running when you heard me call your name. We find a place alone, and then you tell me that you want to have sex with me? That has to mean something."

Slowly, he moved his hands, resting them both on her hips, "The truth is, I can't get you out of my head. When those guys had me tied up, I thought about you, and I thought about what would have happened with you if I'd died and..." He paused, trying to put his thoughts to words, "I couldn't stand it. I had to make it back. I had to make it back to you." His tone had softened, "We don't have to call it anything yet, but I'm a fool if I act like it doesn't mean anything. I think you would be too."

Maybe Laney was used to this kind of thing - casual sex - but Ben wasn't. In the past, he had always been dating the girl. But, Ben had been just a normal guy before. She hadn't been the same. Like she said, she was used to guys lining up for her.

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:31 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 7

Laney blinked, taken aback by the force of Ben's response. Going so far as to describe his own death in terms of his feelings for her, she realised she was in over her head. This was no dangerous fling. This was the real thing. So much so that she pushed to the back of her mind the fact that, in the old world, she would have slapped any man who told her she'd come running.

"That doesn't mean I'm saying no," he continuted. And, without another word, he pressed his lips to hers while moving his hands from her hips to a firm grip about her waist. Laney snaked her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his, returning his kiss eagerly, feeling warmth flowing through her tired body, rejuvenating her. She gripped the hem of his top with both hands and lifted. It slipped out of the limited grasp of her right hand; she pulled the other side up over his shoulder. At the same time, he ran his hands up her sides under her clothes; his heavily bandaged hand got stuck in the tight confines. They broke their kiss briefly as they struggled with the entanglements, then burst out into nervous laughter.

'Maybe we should get someone to help us,' Laney giggled. With an inch or two between them, it became easier to undress; Ben yanked down the zip of her hoodie, then Laney gasped at the bandages as he bared his torso. She ran her fingers tenderly across his wounds, then they rejoined their kiss. He lowered her down onto the camp bed.

'Ben, hold it.' It was the worst timing to raise an objection, but Ben managed to restrain himself. 'Ben, I'm a mess, top to toe.' Laney had had a sudden fit of self-consciousness. Her beauty and grooming regimes had been left in the old world; her hair was a ratty, tangled mess; her famous curves had been drained away by the deprivations and exertations of the new world.

'You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,' he replied matter-of-factly and bent down to kiss her again. Soon the metal hinges and reinforced canvas fastenings were describing an undeniable rhythm.

---

Some time afterwards, when Ben's deep breathing told Laney he had slipped into a long sleep, she extracated herself from his heavy-armed embrace and wriggled her clothes back on. She knocked on the door of Hoppy's normal room, then slid inside and sat by the bed that held the curled-up Welsh girl. Her eyes shot open in a glare of hostility.

'Hoppy. Hey, Hoppy,' Laney stammered. 'I don't know... Listen, I was pretty out of it when you told me Ben was gone, I don't know if I said what I should have.' The glare softened a little. 'If I said anything wrong... well, I'm not trying to excuse it. I just want to say sorry. And thank you. You've no idea how much, thank you.'

Rann · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Rann** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:25 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 8

There she was, Laney. Hoppy squirmed under her sheets, why couldn't the actress just leave her alone? She clearly didn't want to talk to anyone; just wasting away would work, right? Mark and Ben had already tried to get a rise out of her- hell, after Ben's attempt, the next day, Mark tried again. It failed though- and he just left some boiled eggs in front of her door. The smell was so sweet that she couldn't resist- damn him, Damn it all.

She considered leaving Haven, to be honest. But then again... where the hell would she go? How would she survive on her own? Last time, it didn't work out so well, physically or mentally, had it? And... she'd never be thanked, ever, if she struck out on her own. To be honest, Hoppy just wanted to-

Her stomach let out an angry growl. Goddamnit, she was still hungry as fuck. Hoppy looked away from the actress, finding it oddly difficult to either put the mask back on, or to look her in the eye. "I'm 'ungry." She said finally, after an awkward silence. Hopefully the look on her face was enough to let Laney know that, damn, it was fine already. Or, as fine as anything could be. "Um. I..." A slight tinge of pink touched her cheeks. "We cul'd do a job t'get'er, er summat... if yew want, tha' is."

Her stomach growled again; almost as if it was forcibly not letting her be too angry. A bashful giggle escaped her lips, making her slap a hand over her mouth; pride dissipating, before realizing, what the hell, why not. Some apologies would have to be made, eventually... not that she'd ever really be able to live them down at all.

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:50 pm

After the events of 'Mission Impossible' and 'Epilogue November 6th-9th': 8

"And here comes another round of eggs and sausages!"

The collective groan made Tilo laugh, he expected them to be used to the egg diet after week or so, maybe it was only him.

At some point, even Callie had to leave the 'command post,' she had to check up on certain matters, of which Tilo did not know. He had only heard that Monroe rescued an RAF pilot on the fifth. It was on the return trip that he was bitten.

He didn't think too much of it. He hadn't thought too much of anything anymore. A former professor, was a former professor, he was now a, well a scavenger. He scavenged for food and supplies for a little community called Haven. He was human, which was more than what he could say for a large number of people not just in Britain, but around the world.

Mark returned, somewhat dejected. Tilo was still entertaining Gary, Doc Short, Jesus, Kiera, Terri, and Reid. Terri and Reid were a couple of new survivors that managed to make it to Haven alive a day after Monroe died.

Mark was on watch when he saw the pair of stragglers moving slowly through the road several meters away from the wall. At first he was about to open fire, but he decided to take a closer look. He would later recount to them that he was lucky that he did, otherwise he would have spent the following week in guilt.

"Did she take the bait?"

"No. She's locked herself in her room," Mark sighed, scratching his head.

'She' being Hoppy. The girl that had been through a lot as the tale went through Haven. Most of Haven was older than her, so everyone felt a bit of pity for her. They didn't expect the pink-hoodied girl to be able to cope with so much at her age, but this was the world that they were living in.

"She'll come around," Tilo gestured toward Mark with a dish of eggs and canned sausages.

"Yeah I hope so."

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:40 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 1

Hoppy lay on the operating table, unconscious and deathly pale, as Doc Short pulled her bloodied shirt back and cut away the bandages. As she exposed the girl's chest, the doctor drew in a breath sharply.

'I'm not sure we can treat this at Haven,' she muttered. The bullet-hole itself was small, but the flesh around it was swollen, red and raw. Hoppy's breathing was shallow and laboured.

Laney let go of her friend's cold hand and put her arm around Shinji's shoulders to lead him away. He resisted briefly, repeating: 'Kaiko arigatou, Hoppy Kaiko arigatou.' 'Yeah, Kaiko arigatou,' she replied, steering him into the kitchen and finding a packet of raisins for them to pick at. Shinji sat at the table, occasionally letting slip a word, presumably Japanese, she couldn't understand, then lapsing into silence. Laney forced herself to eat the dried fruit, though she had no appetite. She felt as helpless, scared and desperate as she had when Ben was missing. There was nothing she could do now to help Hoppy, and no way of knowing when, or if, she'd ever come back.

She stood to get a glass of water, and Shinji sprang to his feet, as if to follow, and Laney realised that no matter how she felt, things must be far worse for him. He'd lost the woman he loved, he was on the other side of the world from home, and he couldn't say a word to his rescuers. Not only that, but his attention to Hoppy hinted at his feelings of guilt that one of his rescuers could yet pay for his life with hers.

Haven felt empty with Hoppy's energetic presence out cold on the operating table. Ben was out, robbing Laney of much-needed physical comfort. Callie, when Laney had briefed her on the mission, was still hollow-eyed and withdrawn, not her usual calm self. Once again, Haven seemed home only to sadness, not sanctuary.

Pointing to her glass, then pouring water into her hand, cupping it and letting it run through her fingers, Laney said firmly to Shinji: 'Water.' He repeated the word haltingly. 'W- water. Mizu. Water.'

It was a start.

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:39 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 2

Ben stepped from the command center and was about to exit the farmhouse when he saw Laney sitting at the dining room table with someone he didn't recognize. Of course, he hadn't been aware that Laney and Hoppy had gone out to rescue people. He knew the former was gone, since she wasn't around when he woke up, but he had no idea...

His face contorted into a scowl as he stared at the man. When he spoke to Laney, he never took his eyes off the man.

"Can I talk to you? In private?"

Ben didn't know the man couldn't understand him, but the look on his face was enough to tell him that the Asian man wasn't invited. When they were out of earshot, in Ben's room, he finally spoke.

"Who the hell was that? What happened?"

"We went out to rescue some people from a ferry. He's the only one we managed to bring back. His name is Shinji." Laney then paused, swallowing hard, "Hoppy got shot."

"Shot? Is she even still alive?"

"For now. Doc Short's working on her."

Ben turned around, rubbing his cheeks with both of his hands, attempting to quell his rage, "Jesus Christ. See what happens? See what happens when we go and stick our necks out for strangers?" He turned back, "First it was Monroe, and now Hoppy might be--"

"We have to stop this. I don't know that people here seem to understand yet. We can't afford to keep being good samaritans. Not anymore. Not if we want to survive."

At first, Laney let his anger wash over her. Everyone's adrenalin was always up when they came in from a mission, and she knew Ben was upset Hoppy was hurt. But as she listened to him rage, her own short temper, frayed as it was by tiredness and worry, boiled over.

"Survive? You want to survive, Ben, off you go, fuck off from all the weak ones dragging you down Just don't forget the good samaritans who took you in." She shook her head vigorously at him. "But I don't want to survive, Ben, not if it means holing up here and waiting for the end. I want to live. I want to live, and that means more than surviving."

Her voice cracked, and tears welled in her eyes. "That means helping people like Shinji, who you just told to fuck off. That means having sex with you. That doesn't help me survive, does it, but it helps me live! So does talking to Tilo, or Hoppy or..."

At the mention of her friend, a sob burst from Laney's throat. Ben moved to put his arms around her, but she pushed him away.

"No! Get off! You can't be an asshole to everyone, and expect me to stand by and take your side, Ben! I'm not here just to make you feel better. I'm not your... your... your interpreter, your buffer from everyone you're mad at! What happens when I piss you off? What happens then, huh? You just not going to talk to anyone?"

"Maybe I wouldn't be pissed off at everyone if they'd just grow up! There's nothing out there waiting for them, Laney! No cure! No safe haven! Everyone they've ever loved is dead! All that matters anymore is surviving. Surviving and keeping this place as safe as possible. And I, for one, am willing to do whatever it takes to keep Haven going. If everyone hates me for it, then fine. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

Ben felt his knees getting weak. He turned and slid down against the wall, and, as he did, he felt a pressure in his chest. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, but it was a feeling that he'd pushed away too many times since the start of the outbreak and especially since his ordeal with Shane an Mike. But, unlike before, he didn't fight it.

Tears.

He didn't know if it was from frustration, or sadness, or fear, or what. It didn't matter. Ben bowed his head, resting his forehead on his knees, and letting the tears flow silently.

After a few minutes, he raised his head up and wiped at his face.

"The truth is," he began quietly, feeling something other than rage for perhaps one of the first times since he had been captured. A sadness. A hopelessness. "I hate myself right now. I hate this... rage inside me that I just can't seem to get rid of. But, Haven's all I've got, and I would do anything to keep it safe, and these new people... I don't know about them. What if they're dangerous? What if they get us killed? The Caravanners think the worst of us when Tim is killed. The gang of five is staying with the Rands. Who are we supposed to trust, besides ourselves?"

Ben went silent again for a while. His family would be ashamed of what he'd become, if they could see him now. But, he couldn't go back to how he used to be. There was no way he could ever be that person again, but maybe... maybe he didn't have to be this way.

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 12:04 am

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 2

"How is she?" Tilo asked.

"Stabilized, for now." Doctor Short replied.

The old man was notified about what happened to Hoppy by Mark. She had been shot, and the worse case scenario would be her lung collapsing, which meant she could die. Thankfully, around the time she was shot somebody managed to remedy the situation, temporarily. And in the window of time she had, they managed to get her back to Haven.

Tilo stepped inside the kitchen, perhaps trying to scrounge through the cupboards for Monroe's vaunted coffee. He was always curious as to what strange brew the man had. This wasn't anything disrespectful, at least not like treading over his grave, if he had one that was to say.

He saw the Asian man, Tilo blinked, unsure what to say.

"Hello?" that sufficed, "And you are?"

The man blinked at him nonchalantly. There was no response from him. The man seemed incredibly stoic, cryptic even. Maybe he wasn't one to speak, or maybe someone cut out his tongue. Sigh, poor lad.

"Okay..." Tilo moved on.

Tilo didn't really bother to try and get to know him, his shoulders were aching a bit from carrying a pack filled with batteries, cameras, phones, notebooks, and cords.

That would give Rishi some time to play puzzle, figuring out which battery went into which device.

The cupboards were bare of any exotic coffee blend. Tilo decided to just grab an empty mug and sit beside the Asian man, and pretend he was doing something.

The man's mouth was closed. The silence of the room was only disrupted by the distilled voices that pervaded several rooms over. Tilo recognized the voices, they belonged to Ben and Laney. He didn't want to eavesdrop, but it was pretty hard to avoid it, just sitting there.

The Asian man seemed to take everything in stride.

"So...how long have you been here?"

"すみません?"

Tilo's expression went blank, his eyebrows were raised. Foreigner. Where did they manage to pick him up?

He said some other things that Tilo didn't understand.

"What?"

"Eh...Shinji" the man said. It was probably his attempt at English.

Tilo palmed his face...oh...damn it all.

Meanwhile, the argument in the other room had intensified. The both of them looked down the hall, expecting someone to burst out of the door and leave in anger.

Tilo sighed, rubbed his aching forehead.

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:11 am

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 4

Laney watched the rage ebb out of Ben; as he slid down the wall, he almost seemed to deflate. Knowing not to crowd him, she sat on the edge of the bed and waited until he raised his tear-stained face and spoke desperately of rage and hate. Then she knelt beside him and held his head to her chest, stroking his hair soothingly.

'Ben, I get it,' she said softly. 'Really, I do. Fear and anger, they're just different sides of the same coin. I know you're angry because you're worried for Haven, worried for all of us, not just me.' She pressed her lips against his forehead as his arms snaked around her waist.

'And it doesn't take a genius to see you're scared for yourself. No, listen,' she said hurriedly as he moved his head to retort. 'You're not a coward, no-one would ever say that. But you've come closest out of all of us left -' her mind shot to Hoppy, cold and pale, but she continued regardless '- to losing it all. And it must be hard to come back from that.'

The silence that followed was broken only by the sound of Ben swallowing thickly. His stubble grazed her skin as he nodded his head.

'And I don't know how you're going to come back from that, Ben, I just know that I need you to. We all do, but especially me. 'Cos now that I've had a taste, I can't lose you to this... this crazed beast you're turning into.'

He pulled back from her, his red-rimmed eyes staring into hers. 'Laney, I -' he began, hesitantly.

'Ben, no. Listen to me. When you went away that day, that day you were... you went missing -' a frown flashed across his face at even the mention of it '- I said we shouldn't make a big deal of it, our kiss, because no-one knew if we'd even still be alive from one day to the next. Well, I got that fucking wrong, didn't I?'

She forced a weak laugh and reached out to take his hand. 'For one, we've made as big a deal as we could have out of it, haven't we?' She gave him a cheeky grin, one she felt this time, and Ben dropped his eyes from her gaze, smiling bashfully.

'So yeah, I want to make a big deal out of it. I want you, in more ways than one. But Ben, that means you have to find a way of living with the fear, the powerlessness. Otherwise there won't be anything worth protecting.'

This time she let him hold her, his long arms wrapped around her body, her head leaning on his shoulder and her fingers resting gently against his heartbeat.

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 4:13 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 5

Holding her close, Ben put his left arm around her and stroked her hair with the other. As much as he might have hated to admit it, she was right. It had to be about more than just surviving. He could still be strong and protect Haven without being... this.

"Laney," he whispered to her, she turned her head to look him in the eyes again, "I want to live."

It took her a second, but she got what he meant, "Ohh," she said, grinning at his cheesy comment.

Later...

Ben fell back down to the bed, next to Laney, the both of them breathing heavily and trying to catch their breaths. He stared at the ceiling, allowing his thoughts to quietly wander, as he debated whether or not to tell her what he had gotten at the pharmacist.

His distraction was interrupted when Laney turned to her side, propping herself up on an elbow to look down at him. They smiled at each other, but didn't say anything at first.

"Hey," Laney murmured finally, taking advantage of the quiet moment, "D'you know what might put your mind at rest a bit?"

Silly him, he had thought that's what just happened.

"Mhmm?" Ben replied lazily, his mind briefly contemplating his earlier confession to Laney. Was she going to think he was weak now that she'd seen him cry? She played her fingers through the hair on his chest.

"I was gonna go down and see if Doc knows any more about Hoppy. D'you wanna come with?" In truth, Laney was scared to go down to the surgery alone, in case the news was bad. It was in the surgery room, only a couple of days ago, and about this time of day, that she'd got the news about Monroe's death. The prospect of getting the same news again made her heart sink.

"Mm. Do we have to go right this second?" he asked quietly, rolling over to his side, kissing her lightly along the crook of her neck and her shoulder. Then, he realized that had probably came out wrong, "I do want to see how she's doing. I just want you to stay for a little longer."

There was more than one type of healing, Laney realized, as she lied back and closed her eyes and Ben put his arm around her. And whether or not Ben's desire to stay in bed was partly a means of avoiding confrontation with the others again, it certainly couldn't do either of them any harm. Any harm it had done was already done, she reasoned, before pushing the thought out of her mind. They could both use a bit more healing.

Rann · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Rann** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:27 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 6

Hoppy woke up with a wet groan, eyes blinking away the hours of sleep. And instantly after she returned to consciousness, she felt almost a sucker punch of pain explode in her chest. She grit her teeth to try to bear it - only a bit of a moan escaping - and figured that at least it meant she was still alive. Still able to keep fighting, at least a little bit. Almost immediately she heard someone scurry over to her and start pounding her with foggy questions she couldn't quite make out.

"Aye-ah. 'Urts like bein' mauled by a deer." She deadpanned, and then laughed a little - that was a mistake, damnit, waves of pain shot through her torso as she fought to stifle her laughter.

"Well, you're awake at least." The doctor sighed, rolling her eyes just a tad. "Hoppy, how bad is the pain?"

The Welsh girl paused to think. Out of ten, right? "Eight."

Almost instantly, Tylenol materialized in front of her, with a cup of water. Hoppy stared at the pills dumbly before realizing what they were, and placed the tablets onto her tongue with a testy frown. With her other hand she tried to reach over, before being struck with another jolt of pain - damnit, she couldn't even reach very far in front of her.

"Should help with the pain." Short said, moving the water closer so Hoppy could take the pills down more easily. After that was a series of random medical things, Hoppy only mildly paying attention. In truth, she was more worried about Laney and Shinji. How were they doing? Was the Japanese man -no, stupid question, of course he'd be mourning his dead lover. Hopefully he'd be able to find some solace in Haven. He'd already gotten revenge for Kaiko, at least. Hoppy also spared some thoughts to Emma - the girl'd probably saved her life back on the boat. It stung that she couldn't return the favor for her. And most of all... Laney. Was she worried? Was the new, angry Ben taking care of her? Shit, she thought. She still had to...

"I need to discuss a few things with Callie." Doctor Short said. "About your eighth rib, possibly liver damage, and potential nervous damage as well. Once I'm back, tell me if your pain went down at all - we'll also have to test your physical capabilities."

Hoppy opened her mouth to mutter that she was perfectly fine, but was answered with a stern shake of the head. "You won't be going on a mission for a while, I'm afraid. Try not to move around too much, I'll be back soon."

Great, the Welsh girl muttered. Just great. She'd be a dead weight for who knew how long, now. As she sat in her bed, stewing and still feeling fuzzy in the back of her head, she suddenly heard footsteps - Laney. Hoppy regarded her with a tired nod of the head.

"How are you- you feeling?" Laney asked, looking relieved that Hoppy was at the very least awake. "Pain?"

Hoppy then looked at her hand, and how hard she was clenching her first - red marks from where her nails were pressing into her palm. "Jus-" Sharp inhalation. "Tidy."

Laney looked as if she wanted to protest, but then... Ben walked in after, with a somewhat awkward face. Hoppy looked back and forth between them - Laney was wearing one of Ben's shirts? How, uh. Well, might as well use humor to deflate the situation.

"'Ow long til' the Baby Ben's born?" Hoppy cracked a somewhat twisted grin. "Gettin' lonely 'ere all by meself."

Laney made a bit of a smile; she could see the effort the shorter girl was putting into this, trying to maintain a semblance of normality. "Shush, you." Laney said, and took a backward glance to make sure Ben hadn't overheard. That wasn't something she felt comfortable discussing with him yet.

"Sorry." Hoppy said quickly. "Makin' yew worry... an', Ben, for... b'fore. Shut up in me room an' all."

"It's... fine." Ben managed. "Don't sweat it." He himself felt as if there were things to apologize for - but he couldn't quite bring himself to say it. Not after Hoppy had made her apology so suddenly.

"How long until you can move again?" Laney asked. "The Doc say anything?"

Hoppy then, annoyed, made to try and stand up. Damnit, she was tired of being the load. A wave of pain mixed in with the oddest sluggish feeling in her left leg made her stumble, almost falling over - was it maybe the sedatives? The painkillers? Whatever it was, Laney had to rush forward to essentially push her back into the bed - Hoppy scowling worriedly all the while.

'Hoppy, lie down!' Laney ordered. 'If you hurt yourself now, you'll never get better. And...' she leaned in to whisper conspiritorially '... then you'll never get to play with any baby Bens.'

"Me leg." She said hollowly. "en't movin' right. I... it's..."

Hoppy couldn't really find any way to lighten that at all, and fell silent, staring at it nauseously.

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Mon Nov 04, 2013 7:16 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 7

After the bickering died down, nobody left Ben's room. They were probably making up, as far as the old man could guess.

Tilo left the Japanese man to himself and stepped out for a breather. He had left the guitar in his room, stashed away in a corner. He decided he could wait until Christmas to bring it out, there was no rush. Especially because of their situation at the moment. At least it had more meaning that day than any other, and he didn't have that many gifts to give. He had to be sparing.

------

There wasn't much to do that day, Tilo decided he should visit Hoppy. She was in critical condition. She was a part of Haven. She had been through too much.

Tilo came in, he saw that he was a little late. Ben and Laney were already there. Ben nodded tacitly to him, and Laney glanced at him with concerned eyes.

Tilo saw the girl laying on the bed with her pale lips and ashen face.

She had this smile on her face, and her breathing was weak and labored.

He couldn't do it anymore.

He just couldn't do it anymore.

"Excuse me," Tilo stepped out.

Laney and Ben looked at each other.

As Tilo left the building, he saw a pile of wood that somebody else had gathered. Without thinking, he just swung his foot right through it, sending them apart.

He walked with an irritated pace until he reached the three crosses that he and Mark had made. He stared at them for a long time. For a moment, a brief flicker of a moment, he felt like breaking them to pieces. But then he walked away.

He sat down on nearby log, and ran both of his hands through his hair in a furious pace. He scratched his head. He locked his hands in his head, clenched his jaw shut, and held his breath. His eyes had watered and he made deep exhales and inhales.

The cold of the winter was nothing to him. It was nothing to him, he thought to himself.

The forest looked back at him, unmoved, and unsympathetic.

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Wed Nov 06, 2013 2:23 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 8

Noticing the awkwardness between then, Laney pushed Ben towards Hoppy's bed. 'C'mon, talk,' she urged. 'But don't let her get up again.' Then she slipped from the farmhouse to follow Tilo.

She found him in the quiet corner of Haven that was becoming known as the memorial garden. He sat on a log in front of the three crosses, head in hands, shoulders heaving. It wouldn't be long until more crosses were added, she mused, as she stole up behind him. Tilo's hair was longer and greyer than it had been when they'd gone to Tullow Lake together six weeks ago, and his shoulders seemed thinner. She reprimanded herself for not having spent more time with him since; she'd enjoyed his informative company, but she'd been so caught up in recent events that small talk had seemed impossible.

Laney gave a small cough to announce her arrival, giving the older man a chance to gather himself. She looked out over the treeline while he wiped at his eyes and drew in a deep, shuddering breath, then sat down next to him, shoving her hip into him to make room on his log.

'You alright, Tilo?' she asked.

The wind whistled through the pines in front of them.

'Sorry, stupid question,' she stammered. 'I just wanted to say...'

What did she want to say? A wave of embarrassment rose over her, embarrassment at her clumsy speech in front of the highly educated man. Really, there was nothing to say, nothing that woud make a difference, especially to Tilo, who had, when she thought about it, lost more than anyone in Haven. She just wanted to spread some of the hope and comfort she was finding in her burgeoning relationship with Ben.

Tilo stared at her with red-rimmed eyes. 'What?' he replied, puzzled.

She swallowed, took a deep breath, sat up straight. She hadn't done this for months, for what felt like forever. It belonged in the old world. Nonetheless...

'Here comes the sun, doo-doo doo-doo,' she sang softly, almost at a whisper. 'Here comes the sun and I say... It's alright.'

She put her hand on his arm and smiled. There was no point in stopping now, regardless of his reaction. She was committed now.

'Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter, Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here.' Recognition replaced confusion on Tilo's grizzled face. 'Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say... It's all right.'

VindicatedPurpose · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **VindicatedPurpose** on Wed Nov 06, 2013 6:54 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 9

"...Sun, sun, sun, here it comes. Sun, sun, sun, here it comes," Laney continued.

Her vocals weren't as good as they were before the outbreak, but hers was by far still better than any other voice at Haven.

Tilo's eyes had dried, and he followed her words in his mind. It took him to a peaceful place.

And when he finally worked up the courage, he joined her, softly at first until his voice began to rise slowly.

"Little darling, It seems like years since it's been clear...Here comes the sun... here comes the sun, and I say... it's all right."

Her song had strummed the strings of his soul. And when they finally stopped, Tilo turned to her, his eyes a bit drier than they were before, but more swollen.

"You have a beautiful voice," the old man cleared his throat.

He returned to the line of pines. She didn't sing just for him, he recognized. She sang for everyone, past and present. Everyone who was, and everyone who is.

"Thank you," Tilo said, balling his hands.

Deep down he wanted to say that he hoped Hoppy would live. But to hope would be to despair. They were not at that point yet. They should not be at that point yet. She was a stronger girl than the old man gave her credit for.

Everything was going to be alright.

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Wed Nov 06, 2013 8:49 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 10

As he was pushed towards Hoppy's bed, Ben stumbled, nearly tripping over his own feet. He looked over to Laney as she left and watched her go helplessly.

"Great," he muttered under his breath. She was the one that had insisted they come down, and now she had gone, leaving him alone with Hoppy in a deliberate attempt to get him to talk to her. Now he was trapped; he didn't want to stay and deal with the awkwardness, whether it be the silence or the conversation, but he also didn't want to leave. Like Laney had said, he couldn't let her get up again.

For a while, he stood at the entrance of the room, looking between Hoppy and the rest of the farmhouse, hoping that someone would come and relieve him of his post. He folded his arms about his chest and looked towards the floor, his shaggy hair hanging down over his eyes.

Finally, he sighed and looked up, stepping into the room and sitting down in a chair beside the bed. But, despite this step forward, he remained silent in regards to Hoppy.

A thousand thoughts ran through his head, but what was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to apologize? He didn't really feel like he needed to; during their last encounter, he hadn't been wrong. Should he have to apologize just because he had been angry at her? Honestly, he had a right to be angry with her at the time.

Was he angry at her now?

There was something there, but he couldn't really describe it. Sometimes words were not good enough.

He also couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had gone to that boat, in place of either of the girls that had. Would he have gotten shot if he'd gone in place of Hoppy? Would he have been able to keep Hoppy from getting shot if he'd gone in place of Laney? Would that man, Shinji, would he have been allowed to come back, considering Ben's state at the time?

Ben continued to wrestle with his own thoughts. He still didn't know if he could trust the two newcomers, but as long as they were here, he had to give them a chance, for better or worse. But, if they turned out to be dangerous, he'd have a lot of I-told-you-sos to hand out. They still had to prove that they were trustworthy.

After a while, he finally spoke up to Hoppy, sharing some of this thoughts about his own capture for the first time to anybody whose name didn't rhyme with 'zany'.

"You know, when those brothers had me, I thought about giving up."

Hoppy looked over to him.

"Remember when we talked about that? Giving up so I could see my family again?"

She nodded.

"I thought about that, but then I thought about it some more. Heaven's a joke, isn't it? All we have anymore, all we'll ever have from now on is right here. I want to keep Haven safe. That's why I've been..." He paused, "...like this."

She looked away for a minute or two, and then looked back.

"The first brother that I killed asked me to spare him. I thought about it. I asked myself if I could cross that line to kill a person. A living person. But, then I also asked myself if I could live with myself knowing that those brothers would capture someone else. Maybe someone else from Haven." He sighed, "That was before I even knew what exactly they were doing."

"And that's why I stayed and waited for the other brother. I could have left. I could have left and returned to Haven, but imagine where we'd be if I had left. He probably would have caught you and you might be dead now. I was right. I was right that they would get someone else - someone from Haven. He would have gotten you."

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep this place safe, to keep Haven going. Whatever it takes to make sure you, and Laney, and everyone else here gets to see at least another day. I'd rather have you all hating me and alive than loving me and dead. This place is the only thing that matters to me anymore."

"And now I might have to go to the Rands to kill someone else," he finally confessed.

Rann · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Rann** on Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:38 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 11

Tilo had left as quickly as he arrived. Hoppy took a heaving breath as she wondered exactly what had happened? Something more important than visiting his injured teammate? And then Laney essentially pushing Ben at her - running off after Tilo. Was something up? Hoppy let out what she could of a sigh and laid herself back down, hoping that the odd numb feeling in her leg was just something stupid. Temporary. Because if it was permanent - no, she didn't even want to dare to consider it. And so, they stayed in relative silence, Ben looking as if he had to apologize for things. Or at least looking really awkward. And this was pretty tiring, just trying to anticipate that the American would speak up.

She wouldn't have to wait too long, and mostly responded in nods and glances - trying to conserve energy until there was a clear opening for her to interject, as Ben went over his family, his kidnap, the future for Haven. About vague questionings of murder - but then, Hoppy looked at her hands in something almost like horror, but numbed down - her own hands were bloody now. She'd killed a raider, back on the boat. She'd killed Emma, the girl that had saved her life. The girl who was probably younger than she was. She remembered how the Irish girl was prepared for oblivion after Kaiko had... done it. So as Ben discussed the necessity of cold blooded murder, Hoppy found herself nodding in agreement. She of all people understood why in this new world, killing was a way of survival.

She'd done it. Ben had done it. Laney'd done it. Even Shinji, the Japanese men, understood it. Killing was necessary. And being conflicted over it didn't serve anyone any good. Everyone in Haven would have to do it eventually. If they wanted to live. If they wanted Haven to survive.Because, like Ben said, Haven is the only thing that really matters. There was a cold comfort as she found herself really agreeing with Ben's words.

"And now I might have to go to the Rands to kill someone else," Ben said at last, and Hoppy sensed that that was her chance to talk.

"Once me wound's all heal't up." She stopped to cough - Ben looked at her in alarm, almost wondering if this was when he had to step forward to steady her. Hoppy held out a hand signifying that she was fine, with an annoyed shake of the head. "If'n yew din't kill'em. I culd come along..."

The look on Ben's face was hard to distinguish. Despite all of that... he still didn't want Hoppy, or anyone else to have to kill. Doesn't want them to face murder and stare it down.

"Look, Hoppy-"

The injured girl forced herself back into a sitting position.

"I kill't a girl. Younger'n me. Fifteen, or summat." She fought to keep Emma's face from swimming before her eyes. Didn't want to think about it. "A raider, too. To survive, we gotta kill. It's 'ow it works now."

This awkwardness had to stop. She wanted the Ben back, the one she got along with so well, before the kidnap. Before it all went to hell. She ignored her pale, trembling lips, and the cold of her skin; and most of all the numbness in her damned leg.

"So, if'n me body c'n take it. I fancy comin' with yew fer that. An' since I'm a killer too - I won't 'ate yew even if yew gotta do it again." She looked Ben straight in the eyes. "Yew saved me life, from gettin'... eaten. I wont 'ate yew no matter what, Ben."

She shrugged.

"Guess youer'e like a 'ero, or summat. Sounds right stupid, sayin' out loud like that."

Messiah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Messiah** on Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:19 am

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 12

A hero?

"I'm not a hero. I'm just a normal guy trying to sur--" He cut himself off, remembering the distinction Laney had made between surviving and living, "--trying to live. Good to know you don't hate me, though. Try and remember that six months from now."

"Besides, I don't feel like much of a hero. I'm a little bit more selfish than you might think," he said, his thoughts going back to Laney.

"I had to make it back, then. Back to her. Back for her. I think I--" No. He shook his head, stopping himself from finishing that sentence. "It hasn't been all about Haven. Some of it's been for me," he admitted.

"I know you want to get back out there; I did too. But, I think everyone here wants to see you get better first. If the guy's still alive by the time you get healed, I'd be happy to have you along."

"I hope he's not," he added, "He's a threat. Don't tell anybody I said this, but I'd rather have you along than Tilo. Something tells me his conscience might get in the way of what needs to be done." And what needed to be done was Richard needed to be killed. They weren't safe as long as he was alive.

Months ago, Ben would have hated himself for thinking that, but now, he had to think it. He would hate himself if he let Richard live and come back and attack Haven, just as he would have hated himself later for not killing Mike and Shane.

What kind of fucked up place was this? The kind of place where cannibalistic monsters and psychotic raiders roamed around, trying to kill them. That was why he had to resort to killing other human beings to survive.

Then, he looked back over to Hoppy, "You know the good thing about all of this?"

"Hm?" Hoppy intoned, quirking a brow.

"People can stop feeling sorry for me now, and start feeling sorry for you."

Faith Fanon · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Faith Fanon** on Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:22 pm

After the events of 'Love Boat' and 'Recording': 13

They sat in silence after their duet was finished, but inside, Laney's heart continued to sing. Tilo's response, to join his voice with hers, and his praise afterwards, filled her with as much satisfaction as performing in front of 10,000 screaming fans, with the adornment of a full light show, backing band, and a score of road technicians. More satisfaction, joy, in fact. She felt more connected to music, to its true function, to its soul, than she had in years.

She'd gone out on a limb, taken a risk, and reached someone. Someone who needed reaching, even more importantly. Maybe this was what she could contribute to Haven. Rather than charging round the Lake District one step ahead of death, or else serving as a baby machine to help repopulate the world, perhaps she should be using her talents to lift spirits. If she was pregnant, well, singing would be all she'd be good for around Haven anyway.

'Thanks,' she mumbled eventually. 'I remember you said you liked them.'

'I do. And your old man and Elton,' Tilo smiled back encouragingly.

'Yeah... My old man is a...' A lump suddenly caught in her throat. 'My old man was a bit of a dickhead though, wasn't he? Besides, you didn't look like a rendition of Fully Loaded would have helped you out.'

Tilo laughed at the mention of one of her father's biggest hits, a thinly veiled paen to cocaine and erections in tight trousers. 'True, true. I didn't think you'd know a song like that, though.'

'Me and Tinie Tempah were working a cover of Come Together.' She caught the puzzled look on Tilo's face. 'Tinie Tempah. He's a rapper, grandad. Anyway, he was doing the verses cos, you know, they're kinda like rap anyway, and I was singing the choruses. And I got that album...'

'Abby Road,' Tilo hinted in his best teacher's manner.

'Yeah, Abby Road. And anyway, some of the songs were... My songs are all heavy beats and synth, you know? It's nice to get back to basics sometimes.'

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The Farm- IC

a part of “Live Together or Die Alone”, a fictional universe by Bosch.

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