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a topic in Poetry, a part of the RPG forum.

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For the assorted types of poetry.

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Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Nezzera on Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:05 am

Add some haunting horror to your secrets
Dance around this town of bloody sunshine in the rain
Toss your words around as if you don't mean them
We all know you remember the day your world came and
We all know your heart is beating
Underneath you armor-clad skin blood flows
What's in your veins tries to escape
And the lock is torn apart
It's clear as day on your face the lieing words ring true
And in this darkened alley way the sun shines bright on you
Your web was weaved so carefully
Of lies and deceit- now torn
Watch this town burn to the ground
And swear your nothing more than what you claim to be
What you used to be

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Re: ...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Nezzera on Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:15 am

*Add some haunting horror to your secrets
Dance around this town of bloody sunshine in the rain
Toss your words around as if you don't mean them
We all know you remember the day your world came and wen away
We all know you rheart is beating
Underneath your armor'd skin
What's in your veins tries to escape
And the lock is torn apart
It's clear as day on your face the lieing words ring true
And in this darkened alley way the sun shines bright on you
Your web was weaved so carefully
Of lies and of deceit
Torn apart and bleeding you are in peices raining down
Watch this town burn to the ground
And swear you're nothing more than what you claim to be
What you used to be
The reflection in your mirror captures the tears you dearly try to hide

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Re: ...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Matthias on Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:04 pm

Do you like this poem, truly like it and wish it could be better? Are you still in the progress of revising it and if so, how many times do you plan to do this? Would you revise even further, or at least, play with the structure if a critique was given?
Image
Image

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Re: ...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Nezzera on Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:38 pm

Yeah...

Some words just sort of ran through my head and I wrote them down, then when I typed it up I messed around with it, and after that I read it out loud, halfway sang it, and messed with it again. That's how I got to the second post of it. I'm planning on messing with it some more..

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Re: ...

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby chaoticsunrise on Sat May 29, 2010 10:13 pm

That poem kinda makes me think of me. And you. And last year.. Everything that happened and all the fucked up shit we went through. That all of us went through, and that the group as a whole went through.
The last line makes me think of me. It also makes me think of you... After Danny.

It's amazing in my opinion, though, the flow could probably be a little better if you played with it a little more and maybe put some different words in or added something. But, other than that I think it's amazing =D

I have a poem running through my head right now that I think I'm gonna post on here. And, I also think I'm gonna post TheseMemoriesAreHauntingMe. [;<
♥UCTigerette♥
♥ImagineThat!♥
♥RaeRaeButterfly♥
♥Music♥
♥Lavender♥
♥Aika♥
♥Nezzera♥
♥Ariki♥
♥Adrianna♥
♥Tæfarós♥
Forces unseen p u l l i n g strings in your heart
Everyone wants to feel safe in the dark.


♥OriginalSix♥


ClickHereIfYouWannaGiveMeLove;;

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