43800

San Francisco

a part of 43800, by SleepingInTheGardens.

None

SleepingInTheGardens holds sovereignty over San Francisco, giving them the ability to make limited changes.
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Setting

Default Location for 43800

Minimap

San Francisco is a part of 43800.

2 Characters Here

Ben Chapman [78] Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me.
Jacob Song [77]

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Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song

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#, as written by iCat
ben chapman
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ο½› dialogue: #bbc89c; outfit: here }

xxi feel so damn worthless
xxanother day is gone
xxand all my faces are alibis
xxand me, i’m half the man I wanted to be
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The walk through the hospital stole away the facade of peace that Ben had somehow gotten together while in the little coffee shop. Every step seemed to send more tension through his body. It eased a little when he looked at Ben, but returned just as harshly when he remembered how complicated things were. Of all people, why did it have to be Jake? Why couldn't his life just be straight forward?

Jake's words didn't exactly put him at ease. He didn't want to have to have anyone to worry about him. He'd done enough damage, he didn't want to drag anyone down any further. He wanted someone, but mostly he wanted to not need someone. Jake shouldn't need to be strong for someone else. He was losing the most important person in the world to him, he didn't need to worry about someone else. So he just smiled sadly and tried to get his words together. But then a nurse emerged from the room and temporarily distracted Jake, giving Ben enough time to formulate what he wanted to say. The offer of going home was tempting, but Ben also had to be realistic.

"I... I think I need to be around other people right now," he admitted. Being alone would let all the thoughts in, remove the distraction, and make things twice as hard. "And even if I'm not exactly a rock of emotional fortitude, I think you want the company more than you're letting on," he said with a small smile. Hospitals filled everyone with anxiety, especially when it involved your kids. Especially when everyone was being vague so far. He needed to be there for Jake, even if Jake said he didn't.

"Ben? Benjamin Chapman?" The voice made Ben's stomach drop through the floor as he turned, slowly. He was half relieved at the face he saw. One of the few people he'd confided in after getting home... but he'd still ghosted him. He'd disappeared without saying a word when things had just gotten too much. "James. I... it's been a while," was all Ben could get out. They'd been in college together and had lost touch. Then they'd reconnected after Ben had gotten back and... Ben had been a mess. He'd wanted someone to help him forget it all. It hadn't lasted long, Ben hadn't been able for it. But they'd stayed friends. Which had just made it worse when Ben had all but disappeared.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song

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【 JACOB ✧ SONG 】

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"When you've got nowhere to go,
I'll be your home"

photographer ✧ #228B22 ✧ outfit
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There was no part of Jake that wanted Ben to leave, despite his constantly reassuring the man that he could. But any situation that made Ben uncomfortable was not one Jake wanted to be putting him in. Despite his past, and how visibly nervous being at the hospital was making him, Ben insisted on staying. He claimed to need the co pang, and Jacob didn’t allow his heart to think there was anything more to it. Besides that, Ben was right. Jake wanted, no, needed his company. Much more than he led on.

”Okay” he’d said simply, though he added a soft smile to let Ben know he was content with his decision to stay. He was just about ready to head inside with Ben in tail, but a voice stopped them both. The sound of Ben’s full name being called out somehow made Jake’s stomach twist in an unexpected way. Last time he’d heard the full name it was at the hospital back home, as he was told the tale of the doctor name Benjamin Chapman, the best of the best. He’d know nothing about the man then. And though he knew very little now, the Benjamin he’d been told about and the Ben he knew now were entirely different people. He’d been expecting to find a retired doctor, but instead found a lonely and broken man.

Jake looked over the stranger that seemed to know Ben much better than he did. There was a moment of hesitation, of his wondering whether he should stay and listen, but he quickly shoved it aside with a silent scolding of it not being his business and gently tapped Ben on the shoulder so as to not be rude by coldly interrupting. ”i don’t want to eavesdrop so I’ll just...be inside with Autumn.” he announced, subtly gesturing towards the door. Though he left Ben to talk to his friend, he made sure to leave the hospital door open. A way of letting the man know he could come inside whenever he was finished.

”Hey pumpkin...how do you feel?” the familiar smile immediately stared back at him as he approached the hospital bed. Autumn was out into a nightgown, signaling Jake that he’d probably be spending the night on the couch just a few feet away. ”I’m okay appa.” he took his hand into hers as if she never intended on letting go again. ”Are you sleepy.” she nodded slowly, but quickly stopped and shook her head, earning a soft chuckle from her father. ”So which is it?” the small frame was shaken by a giggle as she sunk lower into the thick blankets. ”just a little bit.” she then took a moment to look around before turning to her father with the slightest concern. ”Did uncle Ben leave?” Somehow, the fact that Autumn was so immediately concerned about Ben leaving them left a bitter-sweet feeling in Jake’s mouth, but he quickly shook his head, letting her know Ben would be back soon. He hoped, for both their sakes, that it was true.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song

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#, as written by iCat
ben chapman
Image
ο½› dialogue: #bbc89c; outfit: here }

xxi feel so damn worthless
xxanother day is gone
xxand all my faces are alibis
xxand me, i’m half the man I wanted to be
xx
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James at least chose to wait until Jake left to say anything, something Ben was grateful for. Jake had enough on his plate without having to deal with... whatever this was going to be. If Ben had thought quicker, moved quicker, he would have made an excuse to escape too. But now he was standing here, faced with his past.

"You've got a lot of people asking after you, you know," James remarked. Ben shrugged it off, folding his arms.
"A lot of people need to mind their own business," he said, a little too harshly. He sighed. "Listen, James, this really isn't-"
"Ben, more than a few people think you're dead. Why the hell are you here? What the hell are you doing?"
"It's none of your goddamn business, James." Ben snapped. "If people think I'm dead, let them think it, I'm fine with that," he declared. This is exactly why he had had reservations about coming here. There was always going to be someone, always going to be questions, always someone asking "Why?"

Like Ben didn't ask himself that every goddamn day.

James stared at him for a few seconds. "Is this about what happened overseas?" He asked softly. Ben didn't want to react, but he could feel himself stiffen, giving away his answer. James sighed, stepping a little closer and lowering his voice. "Are you getting help?" He asked. His tone, the sickening pity in it, made Ben feel vaguely nauseous.

"I don't need help. I'm fine."
"You're clearly not, Ben, if you just up and ran away from it-"
James took a step towards him again, but Ben took a larger step back.
"You know what I liked about you, James? You were different to everyone else. You didn't pry, you didn't interfere, you just let me be. Guess I was wrong," he said, turning and practically storming into the room. Seeing that Autumn was awake, he quickly fixed a smile on his face.

"Hey, sweetheart! Are you feeling better?" He asked, torn between avoiding Jake's eyes and wanting the comfort of the other man. He leaned into the former, keeping his attention on Autumn.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ben Chapman Character Portrait: Jacob Song

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【 JACOB ✧ SONG 】
Image
"When you've got nowhere to go,
I'll be your home"
photographer ✧ #228B22 ✧ outfit
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Jacob's attention was fully dedicated to his daughter as he sat at the edge of her bed. They played rock, paper, scissors as the deciding factor over who would get to tell Ben their favorite joke. As the minutes crawled by, Jake couldn't help but to examine Autumn's little body from head to toe. She looked paler than normal, and there was a small bruise on her leg that wasn't there before. Aside from that, nothing had changed. She spirits were slowly coming back. Just as happy and lively as she had been back when they had arrived at the pizza place.

A couple of silent seconds passed before the door to the room was opened. For reasons he didn't quite want to face, Jacob felt a wave of relief wash over him when Ben's face came into view. He returned Ben's smile, regardless of whether it was directed at him or not, before gesturing to the other side of the bed, offering a seat.

"Uncle Ben, look!" Autumn's small voice filled the room as she pulled out a small teddy bear from underneath the covers beside her, showing it to Ben with as much enthusiasm as she had done so with Jake just minutes before. "The nurse gave him to me!" Her smile and enthusiasm were enough to answer Ben's question. Jake couldn't help but smile fondly, avidly ignoring the voice of reason that told him this wasn't going to last. He shoved the thoughts aside, directing his attention towards Autumn once more. "So what are you going to name him?". A contemplative look took over her petite features, but before she could answer the door to the room was opened once again. This time, it was who Jacob assumed was the doctor.

"Mr. Song? I'm doctor Russell" instinctively, Jake rose to his feet to shake the man's hand, worry and dread flashing over his features. "Right, the..nurse said you wanted to speak to me?". The doctor's hands slid into his coat pockets following his nod. He surveyed the room for a moment, kind gaze pausing on Autumn before returning to Jacob. "Yes, that's actually why I'm here. Do you think we could...?" he gestured towards, alluding to the idea that whatever he had to say he didn't want Autumn to hear. Jake's stomach immediately plummeted, but he responded with a calm nod. The doctor responded with a nod of his own, letting the young father know he'd be right outside before exiting.

Autumn's eyes were wide and curious as Jake approached her and Ben. "Appa, are you leaving?" Jake didn't hesitate to shake his head. "I'm just going to talk about some boring adult stuff with the doctor, I'll be right back." as his words came to a pause, so did his feet, a few inches away from Ben. "Could you please watch her for a minute? She wanted to tell you a joke..." he smiled fondly, but his eyes gave way to the terror he truly felt.

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No characters tagged in this post!

0.00 INK

#, as written by iCat
ben chapman
Image
ο½› dialogue: #bbc89c; outfit: here }
xxi feel so damn worthless
xxanother day is gone
xxand all my faces are alibis
xxand me, i’m half the man I wanted to be
xx
xx
xx
xx


Despite the turbulence of Ben's emotions, Autumn's energy and enthusiasm filled Ben with relief, and his smile became genuine. But he still couldn't quite look Jake in the face. There was that small, tiny voice in his head, wondering if James was right, questioning if he was okay. But what right did he have to be anything other than okay?

He instinctively turned to look at the doctor, but almost as instinctively, found himself praying that it wasn't anyone he knew. Thankfully, he didn't recognise the man's face, and the man didn't as much as glance as Ben. Ben could read the man like a book, and he knew whatever he wanted to talk to Jake about, it wasn't exactly good. He had the appearance of a man who was trying not to give away his stress, and he was failing. His suspicions were confirmed when the man asked to speak to Jake outside. He nodded as Jake asked if he'd watch Autumn for a minute. Jake's smile didn't reach his eyes, but Ben didn't have it in him to try and comfort him.

"So, have you decided what you want to call your bear yet? And what was this joke you wanted to tell me?" He said, fixing a grin on his face as he turned back to look at Autumn. As the little girl nattered away, it took far too much of Ben's attention to just keep a happy expression on his face. The rest was spent on actually listening to Autumn. The little girl was charming, and Ben swore he could feel his expression becoming a genuine smile from time to time. But every so often, it struck him that he should be able to help her, and he couldn't. He was so awfully, terribly helpless, and it was his fault.