A small coffee shop on Earth.

Maisie sat alone in the corner, holding a mug stationary in front of her face. She was the first to arrive. It promised to be an interesting evening, but not one she would enjoy. She hadn't been around other deities in a very long time, and wasn't sure what to expect. The various tables were all pushed together in the middle of the room in a hodgepodge, and the music that ordinarily played had been shut off, perhaps as an accident, perhaps to highlight the weight of what was to come. Either way, the silence was unbearable. She was trapped with her thoughts.

With disheveled sweaty hair, lop-sided glasses, and shirt tucked in half way, Quagmire entered the coffee shop. He slammed the door with such force that the sound of it resonated like thunder, through the silence. He walked as though he were in pain, with his legs further stretched apart then should be necessary, almost as if he were trying to ride an invisible super short pony. Before he could measure his actions he let out an audible sigh and an eye-roll, when he caught sight of Maisie sitting alone with her coffee mug. Immediately after she noticed him, he looked away, set down his computer bag on a table in the center pile, that was furthest from where she was sitting. With that polite greeting he passed her muttering something incoherent about a black-hole in the Earth's core. He made his way to the counter, "double chocolate brownie and...I don't suppose you have whole organic milk?" he asked the barista in a irritable tone. "Y-yes," said the college age girl, an odd irony that she should be so nervous around a nerdy 7th grader when one would think it should be the other way around. She fetched him a tall glass, and placed his brownie in a paper bag. Not payment up front was necessary tonight, but he put a whole 5 dollars in the tip jar anyways, and took his goodies. He set them to the left of where he sat, took out his computer and began fiercely typing code, for the latest program he was working on, seemingly ignoring the goddess a few feet from him, but he did pull his head up above his lap top from time to time to see what she was doing, in case she might want to torture him with conversation.

Test...

Margaret "Maisie" watched Quagmire come in with judgmental eyes. She noted his reaction to her with a slight smirk. They never had gotten along. Still, as he sat down and tried to ignore her, she wasn't going to let him get off quite the easy.

"Oh, Infinitous. So glad you could make it. Pulled yourself away from the Binary, did you?" Mocking wasn't her forte, and it showed.

Margaret "Maisie" watched Quagmire come in with judgmental eyes. She noted his reaction to her with a slight smirk. They never had gotten along. Still, as he sat down and tried to ignore her, she wasn't going to let him get off quite the easy.

"Oh, Infinitous. So glad you could make it. Pulled yourself away from the Binary, did you?" Mocking wasn't her forte, and it showed.

As soon as he heard the words 'oh Infinitous' he let out an irritated flinch, he hoped she did not notice. He continued to type and hoped he could continue ignoring her, he would not waste his time arguing or flinging insults with the relatively younger goddess, a verbal fight with "Maisie" he knew would be inevitable if they spoke longer then a minute, they saw existence in a totally different light, he was logical and rational, and she was almost as crazy as Chaos itself (at least in his opinion). No he was above arguing over nothing. "-so glad you could make it. Pulled yourself away from the Binary did you?" A rush of anger hit him, when he realized she was mocking him! He sat up to his full meager height, and nonchalantly took a sip of his milk not noticing the mustache that it left behind. "Someone has to review and analyze the progression of this project correctly. By the way Maisie I think it's going to be a while before the others arrive, I noticed a convenience store down the street, you could be doing something more productive with your time...I'm sure there's some nitwit out there who can use the help choosing lottery numbers, maybe you can slightly elevate the odds from the usual 1 in 13,983,816!" He let out a high pitch laugh then a snort, and got back to typing, feeling satisfied with himself.

Maisie frowned at the table. "If they only used my method it would be more like 1 in 10. Ish. Sort of..."

One of her biggest frustrations in life were skeptics. Statisticians who confused correlation with causation. The world didn't run on numbers. Still, she recognized the need to regulate. Her hand found the bag in her pocket and she pulled out the amber, turning it over in her hand.

She glanced back up at him. "So, why were you called? For all your faults, you do keep the state of existence from crashing. I imagine that's not the sort of thing you can leave on autopilot." She was genuinely curious, and already sick of fighting. Maybe later, when she would be capable of better digs.

"10 ish, ish?," he snorted at the sound of that prefix. "The universe for the most part is based on constants and definite not on 'ishes'! Oh but never mind," He swatted the air towards Maisie as if he were brushing off a fly. "Now I don't know what you mean by "faults" seeing as I have none, it's this mortal body that slows me down, and I'm going to have to have a word with Nyahmorri about pollen when she gets here, surely there's a more efficient and less messy way to get plants to multiply!" He sneezed almost in psychosomatic response at the thought of pollen. "Anyways to answer your question, the physical laws of existence are far more versatile then you think. The way I've designed it at default it's a very stable and predictable pattern of algorithms and equations. It's not unlike what the mortals would call a computer program...not really a surprise but still fascinating how their logic has come to mirror mine, on a far smaller scale of course...Although that's more of an exception then a rule, apparently obsessing over mating habits, getting addicted to all sorts of vices, and clunking themselves over the head to steal each others shiny rocks takes a priority." He noticed the displeasure in her face, but continued talking anyways. "but I digress...an autopilot as you called it is all that's needed for the most part, so long as I keep an eye on it, and step in if a real crisis takes place. Aside from faster then time internet speed, it's the reason I made this," he pointed at his lap top, then picked it up walked towards her, still waddling in pain, he slid into the chair right next to her. "You see I can monitor all 11 dimensions and all particles subatomic particles with it." He pointed at a jumble of numbers moving so fast only a deity would have any hope of comprehending it. "Plus the monitoring is only to be certain that the stability challenged psychos aren't pulling any stings while I'm not watching, as they say when the cat's away the mouse play." He was of course revering to the chaotic deities that had corrupted man kind in the original universe. "Besides considering our purpose for being here..," Quagmire paused and rubbed a purple bruise on his arm, craned his head to face her directly, looked her in the eye and spoke in a cold expressionless tone. "I doubt I'll be gone very long, a consensus about the obvious shouldn't take very long to reach."

"If what was right was obvious, we wouldn't be sitting here drinking subpar robusta coffee underneath what I can only assume are lights specifically intended to disorient and confuse patrons." She was speaking primarily to the ceiling.

"Anyway," she turned her attention back to him, "it should hardly be the place of the gods to determine what's right for man. It's like the anteater deciding the outcome of army ants' election primaries. We're all too big and self-important to take notice of what's below us. Most of us anyway." Her voice was bitter and her eyes dark. She seemed lost in her mind again for a moment, then started reading the code flashing by on the screen and fiddling with her bracelet. "You misplaced a decimal point there, Quagmire."

"No no no," he piped in at the same time that she was talking, "that analogy is all wrong, we're not like anteaters we're like engineering colleagues some of us more competent then others but side issue, we're collaborating on a project if the design is sloppy and it doesn't meet our demands, we need to strip it for the parts we like and start over with something mo-," he gasped and blinked when he thought Maisie had said, "You misplaced a decimal point there, Quagmire." Panic washed over him, and he started hyperventilating. "WHERE????" He scrolled fiercely upward to try to find the error, he started yelling frantically, if the shop was full not a single patron or employee would have missed a word of his rambling. "This is impossible I never make a mistake, this can have disastrous implications! The universe can implode unto itself there could be multiple big bangs! Time can start running in a loop, everyone will blame me, I must find the error what dimensional row was it in?!" The barista dropped the cappuccino she was drinking, it hit the ground with a crash.

Testing

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" testing

Margaret "Maisie" calmly pointed to the screen. "Just there." She was indicating a smaller window, open on the right, full of code he had been editing but had not yet implemented. She drew her hand back and took a long drink. She could feel his angry eyes on her after being made to feel foolish. Before he could respond she cut in, "I assure you, that reaction was not my intention." Although she smiled a bit inside. "While I largely find mathematics useless I don't deny the gravity. I can do the equations. They just never interested me." She took another drink, draining the cup completely. The caffeine was clearing her head. "I could make you a charm to lower your margin of error, if you'd let me."

He was livid with anger and his face flushed with red. Quagmire stayed stiffly bent over his computer for a few seconds panting almost as fast a as fast as a dog. He calmed his breathing and then slumped down onto his chair. He roughly turned the lap top to a left angle so that Maisie could could only see the back of it. "Hmph that's not an error, this code is not to be implemented here...it's just something theoretical I've been working for the third universe if we decide to make one." I don't need you to make me any charms, if I believed for one-trillionth of a second that one of your nick-nacks could be of any help to me, then my margarine of error would rise exponentially! Math is the only constant, it's always the same, infallible, reliable, unlike certain personalities, the solution is there if you analyze the problem hard enough." He typed as he talked. "Now if you really wanted make yourself useful to me, you would get me my milk and brownie which I've left over there, if not don't bother me! I want to get this done as soon as possible."

So cold! Oh, it was too cold to be wandering aimlessly outside like this! Pulling the collar of her jumper up around her neck, the small girl hurried down the sidewalks, attempting to remember where in the world the gods had agreed to meet up. She must have passed the coffee shop at least twice now, but as soon as she recognized the two figures within, she breathed a sigh of relief, and found herself startled by the fact that she could see her breath. She couldn't dawdle too much longer. Being the goddess of plants, winter was definitely NOT her favorite time to be wandering about outside. Slipping into the door, she turned to face the two gods that had already arrived. The Goddess of Fortune and the God of Mathematics, if she remembered correctly. Clutching her book closer to her chest, Nyahmoori, called "Nymph," nodded a quick greeting toward the two, then approached the counter, getting a questioning look from the barista on the other side.

"Uh...a small chai tea, please," she spoke quietly, "Oh, no! Make it a medium. Or...no! A vanilla chai tea!" Upon seeing the look of irritation upon the barista's face, she shrunk back slightly, "A medium vanilla chai tea. I'm sorry."

The spicy, exotic smell of the spiced tea as it brewed tantalized the goddess' senses, and she immediately recognized every subtle scent as one of the many plants she put in this world. Cinnamon, nutmeg, fennel, ginger, oh, how divine! All mixed with fine tea leaves? The goddess couldn't help but give a slight smile at the thought. By the time the barista had placed the tea in front of her, Nymph was lost in a world of pleasant smells and visual images brought to her mind from those. She found herself lost in a world of her own creation, full of all sorts of plant life. She felt truly happy then, but was suddenly snapped out of it by the college-age girl, who said, "Uh, your tea. Do you want milk in it?"

"Oh!" As if waking up from a nightmare, Nymph jolted, looking up at the barista. "Uh...yes. Soy milk, if you would."

As the milk was poured into the top of the paper cup, the girl realized something. She forgot why they were there! Oh, curses! she thought, searching her memory for the reason for the meeting of the gods. However, her memory could be compared to a bucket with holes punched in the bottom. It only retained things for a few moments before vanishing. Finally, she decided she would ask the other two what was going on. Picking up her tea, Nymph refrained from taking a drink just yet so she wouldn't end up overloading her senses again.

"Uh...hello, everyone," she spoke softly, glancing from one face to the other. "It's...it's good to see you both again."

"Hello Nymph," Maisie said distractedly, as she went to retrieve Infinitous's food and drink. She'd felt a pang of guilt for upsetting him so much, but not enough to admit she was wrong, so she moved them to the place two seats to his right, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm somewhat surprised you could make it."

Maisie sat back down and beckoned to the barista to bring her more coffee. Whomever she had posessed was clearly addicted, as her head was already going fuzzy without the caffeine. Or perhaps that was a side effect of possessing humans. She wasn't entirely sure. She looked at Nymph intently during the painful silence that followed. It was clear she wanted to ask something, but Maisie would be damned if she was going to make it all comfortable for her to.

She was roused from her study of Nymph's face briefly when she realized that the barista had no intention of bringing her anything. She stood up and started to slowly wind her way towards the counter, never taking her eyes off Nymph. "Well?" she said finally.

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones"

hi I hope this doesn't post in character lol

I'm a senior citizen when it comes to using this chat too lmao

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" Infinitous' fingers danced across the key bored as fast as was humanly possible, he was glad to have posses someone that was accustomed to using a keyboard with frequency, and who's intellect mirrored his even if still insignificant. He was surprised that Maisie was actually bringing him his snack, and now he wanted to make haste before she noticed that it was in fact an error he had made. He minimized the window as she place the food beside him. "Tankx" he muttered. It was then when he heard the door open. He recognized her immediately it was Nyahmoori , if not the fate of mankind he would for certain be changing the structure of pollen tonight, he wouldn't be letting her go until he got at least that, the northern hemisphere's tilt in relation to the sun would help him, as it was below freezing, he knew she loathed the cold. He heard Maisie greet her, and then go off to find that lazy mortal girl, now it was his time to make conversation. "Nymph we need to speak about the reproductive cells of flowers, I understand they need to be light enough to carry in the wind, but countless millions are lost in the nostrils of other animals each time! This is inefficient and not to mention cruel to the nostrils involved. When we make our third universe and Earth you have to do something about that!"

Margaret "Maisie" walked back to the table. She had hoped for Nymph's attention and conversation to herself, but it seemed that Quagmire was all too bent on solving his mortal problem.

"Really, now Infinitous. Give the girl some room to breath." She pushed Nymph down into a chair and then returned to her own. She focused her gaze on Nymph for a few seconds, watching the girl who was probably very confused by this point shrink a little under the unjustified scrutiny. Then she turned back to Infinitous. "You realize of course that your pollen problem could be solved by inhabiting another body. Or by eating more honey. If you mix in some cloves it should do the trick." She grabbed his drink and started to fuss with it.

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" He sighed and glared at Maisie with irritation, how dare she disrupt him at a conversation that was none of her concern. "Are you insane, this vessel with his IQ of 206 is an extraordinary rarity by human standards, he has 1/2 of a 1/4 of a 1/8 of 1% of my actual intelligence, the brain of any other human would not allow me to think at all!" He noticed she continued talking but he was hell bent on speaking louder so she'd here him, that's when he noticed her fiddling with his milk! "Hey, what do you think you're doing to my beverage! Honey and cloves? Is that scientifically proven to improve allergies or is this just your ridiculous influence on the universe? Mumbo Jumbo in other words..."

Margaret "Maisie" "The idea that you would put any stock in the medical community is beyond belief! Every other day they come up with a new source of cancer. Antibiotics only work the first few times, antidepressants are just a placebo, antibacterials created MERSA. Honey works. Plain and simple. Give that back." She reached for his milk, and in the confusion of hands spilled it onto the table.

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" "I Put my faith in science," He tried to wrestle the milk from her as he spoke "Not the mind narrowing education those mortals who have so insolently taken this world as their own lab and playground give those in the medical community, antidepressants are made to fry neurons you're more likely to commit suicide if you take them, anti-biotics do just as much or more damage to the body as the bacteria itself, that doesn't meant it has to be that way, it's become an industry they keep cures because sick people very are profitable, it's quite disgusting but then again human beings are usually disgus-." He watched in horror as he saw his milk splash like a white tsunami across the table, and he barely had time to pick up his precious computer. "My miiiiiilk" he shrieked. "YOU ARE SO CLUMSY, do you do these things because you're trying to help me or are you fighting me passively? GIRL! GIRL! Give me another milk, and clean um this mess, if you want someone to pin the fault on someone blame her!" He swatted the air in Maise's direction, and moved his computer onto another table.

Margaret "Maisie" let out a short shriek before dropping the glass completely. It clattered to the table louder than she thought glass could do on wood. She fell back to the wall behind her. She grabbed at her charms and started pulling them out frantically. She hardly noticed as Infinitous was yelling; she stuck pins into wax and pulled frayed threads from cloth. Tapping the floor repetatively, she seemed frightened of some unseen interloper. After a few minutes, she calmed and slowed her rituals to a putter. She still seemed afraid, but her charms were protecting her, at least in her own mind.