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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones"

God of Physics and Mathematics

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a character in “Apocalypse Radio”, as played by Senior Citizen

Description

Scrawny pasty skinned boy of about 13, he has large green eyes that are amplified in size by his unfashionable thick black glasses. He likes to comb his hair back and sometimes applies grease at other times he forgets to take showers to many days in a row, in either case it's kept out of his face. Clothes is merely a buffer or artificial skin, that is meant to protect the mortal body from small dust particles, and varying temperatures. As such Infinitous will wear anything. Usually a simple white shirt and black pants, and yes a pocket protector too, his whole closet is mostly this outfit combo! Lately he's taken to wearing a little black bow, finding the symmetry of it appealing. It dose not help man kind's case at all that he's been beaten up several times at school for wearing it, and those are just his fellow nerds from the advanced placement classes!

Personality

Guys like Newton, Einstein, and Plank spent the entirety of their lives reverse engineering Infinitous' work. He's the one who came up with the physical laws of the universe. As such he's anti-social blunt and pragmatic. By human standards one would almost call him so calculating to the point of being callous, but what humans would think of him matters not. He had no say nor interest in the particulars behind the making of humanity, although he did agree that there must to be intelligences, as the universe needs observations and perceptions to be shaped properly after all (doesn't contradict with fortune :P) so he did bestow upon mankind the gift of logic and rational thought. However he dislikes the creation, and would love nothing more then for the other gods to agree to scrap the whole project to start over with a more logical species. Preferably something androgynous that makes copies of themselves, and are only interested in solving problems. Still if there were ever anyone who had the infinite patience to get to know Infintous better, they would probably find that beneath this super computer of a deity lies not a microchip but a very sensitive and compassionate heart.

Equipment

He's got a quantum computer he made himself, that looks like an ordinary lap top and it runs on the energy of space itself! It's got a custom OS compatible with ALL programs. It's more convenient then anything else. He's coded several very unique programs, such as his particle monitor, which tracks ever subatomic particle in the universe in real time, this enables him to keep better track of the inner workings of the universe while in human form. Also he carries a "Rubix Cubed" that is to say a Rubix cube where all the colors have to match in 9 dimensions (to humans it would look like an ordinary one, since they can only see in 3, but they would never be able to solve it) Lastly the many allergy medications his mortal body demands to function properly, some pens, and sheets of paper. There's a slight possibility he might be coerced into getting a cell phone, in the near future...You'll have to wait and see why. :P

History

Infintous-Zero was roaming well outside the parameters of this existence, he had stayed away since most of the galaxies had formed according to his computations (for the second time around). He was working out a formula for a theoretical universe that would have a slightly higher gravitational constant, when he was called to decide the fate of man kind. Annoyed at the prospect of having to socialize (and argue) with the other gods, as well as having to study this impetuous "unstable" creation all at the same time, but never turning down the other gods when it comes problem solving, he grudgingly obliged to observe mankind as objectively as possible, and now he couldn't be happier with the outcome. Selecting a human to conduct a controlled "experiment" on is exactly what he might have done if the decision would have been up to him entirely. Even if he does believe humanity in it's current state of being will probably need to be "deleted" and drastically redesigned.

Quote: "We can each formulate our hypothesis as to why the species is flawed, and come up an experiment that would prove if our hypothesizes are correct. I am more then willing and happy to assist anyone with coming up with a viable test, if they're logically challenged. Also any of you lethargic forth dimensionally challenged slackers, who have decided to skip this meeting, I think I speak for all of us when I say it would be nice if you participate in the testing as well, if you wish to brush off your apathy at this time."

So begins...

Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones"'s Story

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" Briskly went up the flight of stairs making his way to the twentieth floor of the apartment complex, with the enthusiasm of a 13 year old, and the manic excitement of a mad scientist fueling him. He could have chosen the elevator or to simply have materialized at her door, but with young Quagmire's heart pounding so, he needed the release of energy. Although slightly sweaty now, Quagmire looked far more refreshed then on the previous night, he wore a fresh white shirt, and pair of black pants identical to yesterday's. The latter being firmly tucked into the former, this time baring no evidence of a bully attack. As he made his way across the hallway he was panting almost in rhythm to the light thumps of his book-bag hitting his back. "Aren't you suppose to be in school kid," the custodian mused, looking down at him from a top a latter, as he fiddled with some wiring.

Twenty Story Walk-Up

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" raised an eyebrow "shouldn't you make certain the appropriate, circuit is opened before working on it?" he rolled his eyes and moved on. He heard a "OUCH!" and the man hopped off the latter he knew it was to check the circuit breaker. Quagmire smirked he ordinarily didn't bend his rules and slow the flow of electrons simply because someone was careless, but that was one less for Death today, who was without a doubt watching. He came to a stop in front of Chilili's door, and slammed the knocker four times.

Twenty Story Walk-Up

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" Stood their for a instant, and craned his head up to make eye contact, he let out an annoyed sigh at seeing her expression. He rushed in clutching one of his book-bag straps with his right hand. "Good morni- ugh!" he tripped over an open book on the floor, however the fall was softened by a myriad of papers strewned all over the place, none the less the glasses became airborne.

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Quagmire let out a petulant wine and pushed himself up to kneeling position. Quickly he grabbed his glasses and raised them to eye level in order to examine them for damage. "My glasses!" he screamed when he realized their was a missing glass. Frantically he began searching the ground for it, pushing the papers gently away from the likely spots the clear thin object might have landed on. "I take it back, communicating over the radio would have been more prudent! If this is a measure of your organizational skills it doesn't bode well for you." He said irritably, and then snorted. "I might think Maisie, was taking out her displeasure on me, but considering the statistical odds of having accidents of varying degrees of lethality in this mess, I have only myself to blame." A second after his tirade he found his missing glass.

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" ignored Chilili as he popped it back into place, and affixed his spectacles to his face, muttering to himself as he did, "How I detest disorder." He turned around and made his way towards the paper frosted table behind him, absentmindedly rubbing a bruise on his forearm. "Anyways lets get this over with so we can commence the testing. Listen carefully the less questions you have to ask at the end the better!" He removed his book-bag and slid it onto a chair unceremoniously pushing some folded clothes onto the floor as he did so. "You remember what was stated at the meeting last night correct? Each of us all will administer a test specially formulated to test the extent of the defect that we disapprove most of in humanity. Well I'm here now to brief you on the details of how this process will be carried out." He spoke as he walked, without permission or preamble he audaciously stomped his way into her bedroom. "Ah there it is," he said triumphantly. He reemerged from her room baring the alarm clock radio, Chilili had wrested with minutes before. "It would have been interesting to see whether or not you would have, noticed the lack of a plug and battery case if given enough time." He snorted and placed the radio on the table. "This," he said pointing at it as if Chilili was to dumb to realize what he spoke of. "Is not the receiver device you had, yesterday. Though identical in appearance externally, I made this. Oh you can use it as an alarm, and listen to music if you wish to...Although that would be rather imprudent considering the situation don't you think? Anyway it has one very significant difference, it can tune to a frequency outside of normal space. Allow me to demonstrate."

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" hit the seek button repeatedly going down the AM frequencies, he flew through the 8.0s until, the '8' on the digital screen fell to the side taking on a horizontal position. He looked up towards Chilili to make certain she had taken notice of the odd display and grinned broadly. "Infinity Point Zero! get it?" He cackled at his own joke, doubling over with laughter, then he took a breath so deep it came out as a gasp. "No matter what station you have it on, there will be a very distinct loud and abrupt noise. It is actually not sound, but electromagnetic waves in perfect sync with your brain waves I should add, this way only you can hear it. This will let you know that a test is about to commence. At that time the one who's turn it is to examine you will broadcast a set of instructions for you, another alarm means the test has commenced and the third one, will signify that your time is up. However you can turn to infinity point zero, at anytime you want, for a repeated recording of the intrusions...as well as for clues, and useful information that might assist you with your tests." He sat down in the chair next to his book-bag, he placed his hands on the table, or on top of the stack of books that laid on the table, interlocking his fingers. "Now do you have any questions?" He looked up at Chilili expectantly.

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" Was startled by the sound of the door opening abruptly. "Now what," he muttered irritated by the interruption. He shifted his position on the chair so that he was facing the door whilst remaining seated, as soon as he saw who it was his eyes widened slightly. "Edelia, what a relief! I saw the black hair through young Quagmire's peripheral vision, and I thought Maisie or Danse had come to aggravate me prematurely. Indeed it has been a long time...I suppose you could tell me precisely how long, down to one one-hundredth of a second further even if we wanted to get real technical." he smiled broadly, like an over joyed nerd who was meeting up with perhaps his only friend. Moments later his expression hardened, he narrowed his eyes and his mouth contorted into a scowl. "However your timing is horrendous! And you're the last person who can possibly have an excuse for that! Can't you see I'm in the middle of explaining the terms of the test to the Girl!" He blinked twice and fixed his gaze on Chilili remembering the fact that she was in the room. Then he looked at Edelia and back at Chilili, exhaling rather loudly it was reminiscent of a balloon being deflated. "I suppose a quick introduction would be the next logical step." He pointed at Edelia with his hand. "Edelia meet girl-erm Chilili Crow Dog," now he pointed at Chilili. "Chilili meet Edelia, the fourth-dimensional alignment re-alignment, and aligning engineer, one of my colleagues and yes the title is only accurate if spoken in all tenses, but in your case it might just be preferable to think of her as...the goddess of time. Excellent, now that we have that out of the way, did you have any questions?" In a after thought he added clearly speaking to Edelia "I admit I am rather pleased to see you, we're in desperate need of more level-headed individuals! The girl Justice irritatingly shrill as she might be, at least has the same appreciation for order we do, it's most unfortunate she saw it fit to not participate."

((Don't worry about that it happens, you can always copy and paste it in the right place and then put "test" or "..." in the wrong place, and if someone posts after you, did before you got to fix it. write in bold the right place that what I'm gonna do anyway when I screw up from now on, in any RP here heh.))

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" stared at Chilili of a few moments his mouth partly opened in a astonished gawk. It was now almost a certainty that human beings completely lacked in rationality, for an instant he pondered if the fact that she was demonstrating such inverted priorities, favoring her occupation and education, over the experiment, was sufficient evidence to deem humanity defective by his standards. On the other hand perhaps Nyama surprisingly made an accurate analysis, humans may just be animals with a higher degree of intelligence, but otherwise functioning on reprogrammed instincts. They'd recognize the danger of a fire, or a bully pushing their person threatening to leave them hanging somewhere by their underwear, as they had done to young Quagmire many times before, but without a tangible stimulus for their limited senses, it seemed they could not grasp the eminent scope of a situation. Without this analysis he would never know for sure, priding himself on precision and objectivity he'd have no choice but to endure interacting with her, and worse still collaborating with the logically challenged such as Cassius.

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" closed this mouth as soon as he realized it was opened all this time, he swallowed hard to moisten his parched throat, readying it to give her a lengthy lecture on what was at stake, to maybe coax her self preservation impulse. When Edelia began her tirade on a similar note, to what he intended to say. He nodded approvingly "mmhmm...Indeed the amount of energy to curve space substantially," he said in a hush voice as Edelia spoke, snickering at a joke meant for the two of them. His moment of humor passed, he was about to pipe in and emphasize that the time was at hand to get down to business, when he heard mention of the pet project which had been occupying all his spare attention, for several millenniums prior to the meeting at the coffee shop. He quickly whipped his neck to the side to face Edelia, and began to speak excitedly. "Oh I think you'll be pleased with the way I've altered the gravitational constant, also I've moved the gravitons to a closer dimension to the three where large objects an atom in size and bigger reside in, this way you can have fun with the figurative wiggle room, you'll be able to alter the way events progress in the fourth , with less gravity needed," He was grinning the whole time as he spoke to her, his hands were clutched together, and he would clasp and unclasp his fingers, as if he were physically trying to hold on to his self control. "In other words time would be even more rela-,"

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Infinitous-Zero "Quagmire Jones" was cut off from his pleasant train of thought by the sound of a door closing. He shook his head and pointed at the door. "I hope you're all seeing just how cooperative, the subject is being...I think I might include this as a sort of preliminary portion of my test." Turning his attention to the table he grabbed the 'enhanced' alarm clock and stuffed it in his book-bag. "Let's not waste anymore linear travel through your dimension on nonsense, come along will commence as soon as we catch up with the girl." he put the book bag on, and began stomping out of the room, he waved his hand forward motioning for Edelia to follow, making a little hop in the spot where Chilili had left her physics book (not that he noticed the subject), he had almost forgotten of the pit fall and nearly stumbled for the second time. He sped walked the length of the hallway, and slammed the door of the stairway open. "Seeing as you have no questions and you're so eager to work towards a goal of some sort, what do you say we begin now?" he called out to her. Irritated with the lack of response he picked up the pace and practically began running down, until finally making it her side panting. Young Quagmire's shorter legs putting him at a great disadvantage. "Well...shall we," he swallowed hard having an even drier throat, human bodies were such inconvenient irritation. "begin now ?"

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Edit: Senior Citizen is an air head, no worse she's a hydrogen head hahahahaha