Adam Blayer's Story

---

---

Jake Bellerose sat alone. In the corner, as he had most days since he was checked into the hospital. With him sat his plate, on which sat three bananas and a muffin, his journal, and a glass of milk. There he had sat, and there he had silently watched the other patients go about their breakfasts, talk with their friends, and generally find happiness despite the less then fortunate events that had landed them in this miserable place. Jake was far from happy. He was, in his opinion, out of shape. Granted, this thought was largely untrue. Jake was still significantly more in shape then the majority of boys his age. But the doctors had advised that he ceased his normal workout routine until after his body had adjusted to the his new medications.

However, Jake was not only unhappy. Jake was also lonely. He had barely talked to any of the other young patients in this hospital. He had a room to himself, which would likely be considered a blessing by many, but this, coupled with his newly hurt self esteem, had caused him to avoid contact with his fellow patients. He had no one to, for lack of a better word, commiserate with. And had, over the past month slowly and methodically bottled away all of his feelings of self-loathing and inadequacy that had came with his diagnoses.

And so Jake sat. Alone. At a corner table. In the cafeteria in the pediatric ward of the Arden Hill Hospital in Los Angeles. Feeling small and helpless and alone. And he watched as a very attractive girl from his ward, whos name he had not yet learned walked into the cafeteria and got her tray. He watched as she sat at the table, that the other teenagers always sat at. The possibility of getting up and sitting with them had occurred to him a great many times over the past month, but he had always decided against it. They all already seemed like such good friends. And he likely wouldn't fit in. But then he would mentally attack himself for deciding against it.

He was Jake Bellerose. He was the high school football captain. He was confident. He was charming. He was perfect. Well. He WAS Jake Bellerose, football captain, most popular guy in school, confident, charming, and perfect. Now he was Jake Bellerose, a mentally shattered hospital patient. His self esteem was as broken as his liver. He was, in many ways, a hollow shell of his former self.

It was painful to wake up. Adam tried not to wince as he felt some stomach pains as his body shifted to a sitting, and then to his normal standing position. He arched his back, placing his one hand in the center and feeling, and hearing it crack. He took a deep breath in, and then exhaled. This was his normal routine, day in and day out. His eyes wandered around his blank room. There wasn't much around. White walls, tile floor, one window, and a bed. Across from his bed was a dresser full of clothes. There was also a night stand next to his bed. All that was on it was a copy of One flew over the cuckoo's nest, a polaroid photo of his mom when she was a kid, and a pack of cigarettes. He has read that book at least six times before he got bored with it. It sort of made him feel at home in the hospital, since it was about the same type of subject.

There wasn't much to do in his room. Adam just let it be like that. Before he went to take a shower, he grabbed his cigarettes and went to an open window. He slid one out, lit it and smoked for a few minutes. After he let it drop and stomped it out, Adam went to the bathroom with a towel. He dropped his sweatpants and boxers, and took off his shirt before stepping in the shower. It was a short shower, but it felt good as the warm water soothed his skin. Adam finished washing himself and stepped out, drying off with the towel and going back to his room. He dropped the towel and went to his dresser, putting on boxers, jeans, and a white v-neck.

Adam slowly made his way out of his room and into the hallway where his day really began. Nothing ever really happened, and every day seemed to drag on, but he just went with it. One of the few pick-ups that he had was seeing and hanging out with Isabella. He's been with her for a while, and every time he is with her, there are always joyous thoughts going on inside of his head. It was one of the few times when he actually doesn't feel depressed. Adam's walking led him right to the cafeteria. There he could smell the fresh pancakes. It made him hungry. He went right up and got himself a plate of pancakes and a glass of orange juice. He looked around to see who was sitting where. He saw Henry sitting and trying to cheer up that new kid. Adam thought about going over, but then saw Isabella sitting at the usual table. Adam walked over, taking a seat next to her. He didn't look at her once he sat down, but just said a simple ""Hey," and took a swig of his orange juice.

Elyse had been told for awhile that she'd be getting a roommate. It didn't really bother Elyse much, it would give her someone new to talk, and a fresh breath of air. She didn't have any particular problems with people and what she had wasn't contagious, just genetic. It made plenty of sense to give her a roommate rather than other people who were very picky about sharing a room. Elyse could probably judge that Isabelle wouldn't like someone in her room, it'd be someone to take up all the space, and tell on nurse Taylor for her.

It hadn't been a long time Elyse had made friends. She had been here for a long time more than seven years, more than half her life. No one else had really even been here a year. In the grand scheme of things, most of her days she had been lonely, but treatment for her wasn't easy. It is generally painful. In general most days Elyse can't even get out of bed let alone her room, because she's too sick.

Luckily today wasn't one of those days. Today was the first day in about three that she had been feeling a bit better to go out and interact. Elyse hadn't bothered to change out of her cozy pajamas, she was certain that she would be coming back to nap after she ate something small. It was unfortunate, but she had to carry around her pole that had her baggy of fluids to help minimize the mucus. It really wasn't easy for her to feel normal most days, but this was the closest she could get. Walking in she went over and just grabbed an apple and started heading towards the table she normally sat at with her friends. She did however noticed that Henry was talking to the one boy in the back corner. Elyse also saw Adam and Isabella at their usual table. Elyse decided to walk over to where Henry and the newer guy was. She stood there holding her apple and her pole and she cleared her throat a little and she softly spoke, "Good morning, I uh wanted to see if you guys wanted to come sit over with Adam and Isabella with me." She said nodding her head over towards the table with a small smile on her face.

On the car ride there she was quiet, despite everyone's attempt to make conversation or to make this sound like it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Jan begged her parents not to make her go to the hospital, she spent days trying to convince them that she was healthy enough to stay home but nothing worked. Of course her condition was getting worse, according to the doctors, but she didn't want to live away from her family. Now they were on their way to the hospital, on her way to her new life that she didn't even want.

When they arrived her dad parked and helped her with her bags, and when I say helped I mean carried about 90% of them. they went inside, with Janelle following quietly and as far behind as possible but close enough so she wouldn't get lost. At the front desk the woman smiled and dealt with her parents while she just scanned the area. It seemed nice, as nice as a hospital could be. There were a lot of teens here, people her age which meant her parents would expect her to make friends. Making friends wasn't something She was good at, not because she was a bad person and no one liked her she was just quiet and wasn't the type to make friends herself. Pretty soon a woman, probably a nurse, walked up to them and lead them to Janelle's new room. The nurse talked about the hospital with her parents, and mentioned things to Jan that she thought would help her be more comfortable.

Her room, which she would be sharing, wasn't too bad. Two beds, on opposite walls and half the room was furnished and decorated while the other side was bare. Her father put her bags at the foot of her bed and she took a seat on it. "Please don't make me stay here. I feel fine." She said giving her parents the look she'd been giving them for the past few weeks, that look that is supposed to make them feel guilty but it never seemed to work. "Jan, we aren't doing this to hurt you. It's just better for you to be here than at home. This way you can get help whenever you need it. We won't have to worry about not making it to the hospital if you're already in one." Her mother said sitting next to her on the bed and wrapped her arms around her.

So for the next five minutes there were tears and a million goodbye's and promises of frequent visits before she watched her parents drive off from the room window. She sat looking out the window even after she could no longer see the car. The nurse who had shown her to her room came in "There is breakfast in the cafeteria. I could take you there if you're hungry." The woman's voice was slightly sympathetic, which Jan hated. "Already ate." She said looking at the woman's reflection through the window. She nodded and left the girl alone once again.

---

---

Adam didn't look up from his food. When nurse Taylor came over, he knew this wasn't going to end well. He decided not to get involved as the nurse dragged Isabella away. He didn't want to get in the middle of that confrontation. It made him probably seem like a huge asshole, but there was no way that he wanted to be put away in the psych ward for being mentally unstable for trying to just sort out the issue with the nurse. He was threatened once before by nurse Taylor because he was too lazy to move, she thought that he was depressed.

Adam silently finished up his pancakes and juice. He got some weird stares, but just ignored them us much as he could. When finished, Adam got up and took his tray, and Isabella's almost full tray, and put them in the collection spot. He thought about going over to see Henry, but decided that checking on his girlfriend was more important. He walked out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the rooms. He could see people sort of looking at Isabella's room. He could hear the screams from earlier and understood why people were trying to look. He just kept on going and walked right into her room. "I'm sorry for letting nurse Taylor do that to you. I should've said something. Sorry."

His eyes wandered around the room, looking at the mess she made of what seemed to be cupcakes. He walked over to the wall, sticking his finger in the icing that stuck, and popping that finger in his mouth. He grinned at the sweet flavor of the icing. He wiped his saliva covered fingered off on his jeans. "Do you wanna talk about anything?" Adam posed the question, but didn't want to sound so intruding as to what he wanted to converse about even though he wanted to know why she freaked out so much.

---

---

Adam watched as Isabelle left the room. He knew she was upset at him. He knew that, but he didn't let it phase him. To be completely honest, Adam was confused at why she left. He knew it must have been his insensitive action of licking the icing when he knew she had an eating disorder. Or maybe it had to do with something else. It was tough being in a relationship in this sort of environment. It really has to do with everyone having their own issues, and not everyone can be so social or interactive with others the way that they should. Adam was depressed, mainly because he knew he had kidney problems and might get cancer or something, but it was just the fear of becoming very ill. Most of the teens at the hospital were ill in their own ways, but Adam was scared of death. He didn't want it to fall upon him when he was sleeping. He wouldn't get to say goodbye to those he loved. He didn't get to say goodbye to his mother when she passed, and he didn't want that to be the case when it could be his turn.

A tear fell from Adam's eye. He let it slide down his cheek, dripping onto the ground. He turned to the wall with the cupcake icing smeared on it. Without hesitation, he punched the wall several times, each time harder than the last. When he looked at his fist he could see the blood on his knuckles. The icing on the wall was smashed up and all bloody. He turned and walked out of Isabelle's room. His first instinct was to go to the cafeteria where everyone would be. Adam walked into the cafeteria and found the usual crowd now all sitting and eating. Even Isabelle rejoined them. Adam went up and found a seat at that table. He looked over at Isabelle "I'm sorry for being an ass. I don't know what came over me, but I didn't like acting distant and uncaring towards you. Sorry."

Henry nodded quietly, motioning Isabel to sit- it seemed almost anytime someone talked to him he had food in his mouth.

Then his stomach muscles tightened. He hoped she didnt get triggered by him still having a pancake on his plate.

Then Adam came along. He made a resolve and stayed very, very quiet. He didn't want to be a moment killer. Peaceful moments were pretty rare, but happy moments even rarer, so if he ruined this one, he was breaking his leg again. He could really use a happy moment to break the tension. Everyone could, really.