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"Okay then, dude, Give me awncers then" i laughed ever so slightly as i looked up to him, rubbing the little birds stomach as i waited for a awncer. I Couldnt help but feel my mind was wandering off to Lexi once again.
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I Tried to un-wravel what he's said in my head and figure out a awncer from the infomation. However it was a little vaige, as were his awncer to my question in the first place so i had to rely on what little detective work i had in my mushed up brain. "So.. Your together?" i asked and looked up to him a little confused as i flicked my hair from my eyes. "Dude, i dont understand what your talking about" i said with a small laugh.
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'Huh? How did I not see that?' My lips parted and my eyes widened as I had a 'eureka' moment, immediately jumping to my feet and rushing to the door. 'Be right back.' I gushed, turning back to look at Lee before throwing the dorm door open and beginning my journey to Cassia's room at a fast walk. I had to say something, about my unbelievable apparently blind stupidity earlier. I practically skidded to a halt outside her door and knocked loudly three times.
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'Umm..so..' I began terribly, automatically scratching the back of my neck, oblivious to my actions. 'Right, I wanted to say sorry for asking to show..Aria around because well it was stupid, I was paying attention to you and...I shouldn't have done it.' I nodded at the end of my awkward speech, still thinking of anything to add that would lessen the awfulness of the encounter. 'And...yeah, I'm sorry for not realizing that until now, too.'
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"I Havent seen him this happy in forever Gizzy Whizz" i said as i looked to the parrot. He was my only real friend, besides Cee of course. He knew all my secrets. "Its good." i said and looked up to the door, it a few centimeters open. "It'll be good for him.. To be happy" I Said and my voice trailed off as i began to think. With a helpless breath the same familer thought rose to my attention. 'when would i be happy?'. I Stared into the distance as i continued to think. I Knew i needed to stop. prehaps i should get brain surgary so it was impossible to think?
my mindset began to wonder once again and i took a shaky breath. I Wasnt good enough, for anything, anyone. I Began to question mine and Lexi's relationship. What if she was having a bet with someone to date the biggest looser? That explains why she was too good for me, Way to amazing.
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Shaking my head violently, I tried to bainish the thoughts from my head. Already, I knew they would never leave but wheres the harm in trying?. Outside, The darkened sky lit up with the little dimonds that lived there. With the idea of sleep seeming impossible, I lent back grabbed my notepad and began doodling away the nightmares that i called life
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i headed back over to my bed and yawned with a small smile, trying to think of something happy.. However Cee came to mind, it was nice that he was so happy now, I Was still confused about the whole situation and chuckled ever so slightly as i slid myself under the covers.
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'Well, night Lee.' I smiled slightly, flicking the light switch and padding my way over to my bed and quietly slipped under the duvet, shifting onto my side and closing my eyes. *NEW DAY*
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I didn't bother to get changed, instead, i fell under the covers, pulling them over me before falling asleep on my side.
I woke up with my head next to the pillow, that was the problem, when i was exited or nervous about something my sleep was rubbish and i moved about a lot. I sat up, yawning slightly before looking over at the clock, i had plenty of time to get ready. I climbed out of under the covers after untangling myself first 'morning iffy' i told the rabbit as i let him out of the cage. He leaped onto the bed, snuggling down in the warm covers. i smiled at his action before getting dressed into some dark blue jeans and a black long sleeved top despite it being summer.
I walked over to the mirror, i looked awful. I applied some make up, being careful not to use too much as i didn't normally wear it.
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Slyly, I glanced around the room and quietly tiptoed over to Gizmo's cge and pulled back the blanket covering the cage. Sure enough, when he saw that I wasn't Lee, let out a loud squawk and flapped his wings loudly, rattling a few bells and whatnot hung up around various areas of his cage. 'Good boy.' I smiled, tugging my T-shirt over my head and stretching my arms above my head.
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Pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans, I slid them up over my waist before grabbing a dark black and purple top and pulled it down over my head. Picking up the sliver brush, I dragged it thought the scraggled rat tails i called my hair. Flicking a hair band onto my wrist, I Separated it into 3 pieces of hair as i started to plait it. I didn't normally wear my hair like this but for once a change seemed alright. With my lucky necklace tied round my neck, I Picked up my guitat, Slung it onto my back and began making my way outside to go for a quick walk
i stared blankly to the bathroom door with no need to go in there appart from brushing my teeth, i just couldnt be bothered to move. i licked the dryness from my lips and rubbed my eyes a few times before looking around a little dazed with a derpy experssion on my face.
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So....I needed a song, could I sing? Ha, no...all I had was childhood lessons on the piano. Okay, okay...but what song? The Fray did alot of good crap on the piano..but so did Billy Joel....decisions were vital, especially as an assignment that actually counted towards my grade. Noticing the students lining up inside the canteen, I fought the temptation and made a beeline for the classrooms, quietly slipping into the music room we'd be in later today.
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Plonking myself down on the groun by a group of trees just out of sight, I took the blackened guitar off my back and placed it carefully into my lap. Strumming quietly, I began practising the song in the hope no one would hear me. 'Behind me,Sometimes it reminds me,Of when we, we used to belong here' I sang along quietly as my fingers found each chord easily.
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O Pulled the doors open before beginning to rumage around to try and find something to ware.. anything that was clean. i Settled for a old checkered shirt i'd owned for years but still managed to fit into and paired it with a pair old pair of faded grey jeans. i stretched my arms up slightly and looked to Cee who seemed to be panicing. "You dont the assignment due today?" i asked curously, not realising that was what he was panicing about.
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I set to work, reading the right hand then left, trying to piece them together as I went. Soon enough, I was plying the intro well and was even singing quietly along.
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I Took a small breath and pulled on a beenie, trying to go for the more casual look but probably failing misurably. I Shrugged the thought off, as long as my scars were covered thats all that mattered. I Grabbed my Guitar and pushed my white HI-tops and heading down to the canteen to go and fetch breakfast.
I Placed my guitar strap over my sholder in a attempt to keep my hands free so i can cary my bowl and drink to the table. i pushed the door open and wandered in, like always making a bee-line for the cerial and settling for some shreddies. i poared the milk over the little squares and caressed them with a sprinkling of sugar before grabbing a large cup of tea and going to sit by the window on my own, resting my guitar on the window.