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Lando Magnifico

A Gnomish barbarian with large weapons and a bad attitude.

0 · 174 views · located in Fantasy

a character in “Cliche' Fantasy Adventure Ho!”, as played by StandardFiend


Lando is large for his race, standing at an impressive 307 and weighing in at a mighty 57 pounds. He is muscular and bulky, making him quite the sight. His square jaw is covered by a dark brown beard drooping a couple inches from his face, and his wild, tangly brown locks are pushed behind his tiny, pointy ears. A golden hoop hangs from each ear, the only jewelry to be found on Lando's body. Lando's eyes are narrow, his brows bushy, and his expression seemingly has only two modes: grim or maniacal.

As for clothing, Lando follows traditional barbarian style and dons little. He wears a pair of leather breeches and heavy boots that come up nearly to his knees. His upper covering consists only of a pair of wide leather straps arranged in an X across his chest and back, to which he attaches some of his weapons. A small, flat buckler is fixed to the center of the cross over his breast, affording Lando a mite of protection.


Lando plays the cliche barbarian, always looking for a fight and fearing no challenge, despite his small stature. In fact, Lando often finds his shortness an advantage. His speech is gruff, and though he can't write a letter to save his life, he can speak both Gnomish and Common rather fluently. He is not unkind to his companions, but neither is he friendly and outgoing. He calls no man his friend, but he is trustworthy, never betraying a comrade in arms. Knowing no magic himself, Lando certainly bears more respect for other fighters that get right into the thick of things, but he holds no grudge against sorcerers, as to a barbarian, bloodshed is bloodshed, and he welcomes some long-range support.

Lando is never one to mince words. He speaks unfiltered thoughts, rarely caring what effect his words have on those receiving them. Similarly, he's not afraid to offend anyone, even someone twice his size. Which is pretty much everybody. He is confident in himself and his abilities... perhaps overly so.

He has a penchant for drinking one would normally attribute to Dwarves. Needless to say, if there's a bar fight at the local tavern, chances are Lando is there. Chances are Lando started it. Drunk or not.


Lando's assortment of gear includes, but is not always limited to:

A pair of Dwarven combat hatchets that hang from his belt. Lando adores their superb craftsmanship.

A battle scythe, which hasn't been properly maintained in ages. Thus, its blade is jagged and more adept at ripping flesh than cutting it. Nevertheless, Lando keeps it nice and sharp despite its numerous imperfections. This is strapped to his back.

His prized possession: an oversized (for a Gnome, anyway), two-handed falchion named Clarice. This is also strapped to Lando's back. Lando has had Clarice since his arms were strong enough to lift her, and she has never left his side. When asked about the choice of name for his weapon, Lando usually responds by telling the inquirer it was random choice, that the name could have been anything, but it's not too hard to tell that he's hiding something.


Lando is often asked why he chose a path so utterly opposite that of most of his Gnomish brethren, and his response is often just a shrug. Lando is a barbarian because he lives by no rules but his own, he enjoys the thrill of battle, and he hates singing. What more reason does he need? From an early age, Lando trained his body, and before too long he had physically surpassed nearly every other Gnome around. He made money arm-wrestling at a local tavern, able to best most humans with ease, much to his opponents' embarrassment. Eventually, he was ready to strike out on his own, and he did. No place has been Lando's home for more than a fortnight, and he continues to wander in no particular direction, in search of no particular goal.

Fun fact:

Yes, I did really roll up this character for a D&D campaign. In fact, I drew a little picture of Lando as well. If I can get my character sheet back from my buddy, I'll scan it in. He almost looks like a cross between Gimli and Mr. T.

And yes, I really did spend all my starting gold on random weapons.

So begins...

Lando Magnifico's Story