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Dick Dastardly

High flying aerial 'ace'(Hole. *Muttley snickers*)

0 · 657 views · located in Vulture Squadron HQ

a character in “DD's High Flyers”, originally authored by Melty Cat, as played by hyperskyper91

Description

Dick Dastardly

Occupation: Pilot and Wacky Racer
Age: "Mind your own beeswax, buster!"
Eyes: "Stop staring!"
Height: 5 feet 8 inches
Weight: "Does my bum look big in this?"
Appearance: Slender, bordering on lanky, handlebar mustache, often wears either an indigo trench coat with striped hat, or with an aviator hat and goggles.
Likes: Winning, catching pigeons, flying, not being killed, Muttley.
Dislikes: Muttley, losing, getting injured, that @%#$ing pigeon.

So begins...

Dick Dastardly's Story

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It had been a tiring day for Dick Dastardly, leader of the Vulture Squadron. He hated recruitments, they were stressful and he had the pleasure of having to meet with all kinds of whackjobs and bozos who thought themselves fit to join his squadron. He was dressed in his typical officer's attire, purple uniform, red hood and gloves, and black boots. Whats a nice guy like me doing in a kooky place like this? he muttered to himself. He straightened himself out before taking his seat at his office desk.
'Next!' he called.

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Rachel got out of her car and slammed the door, her face now coated in a layer of dust from the pathway. She shook her hair in an attempt to clear some of it, but that just made it worse. After muttering obscenities under her breath she stomped towards the HQ in time to hear a tremendously loud and familiar voice yell 'next'.

"He sounds as irritable as I feel." She brushed off her coat, decided it was a lost cause after nothing changed and made her way inside, her hands stuffed in her red coat pockets.

The HQ was somewhat dingy and very basic. It was made of corrugated iron and the floor was made of dirst just like outside. There were posters and pieces of paper stuck to the walls and there was a fusty smell coming from a pile of old, wool blankets in the corner by the door. She grimaced a little and made her way to the desk.

There he was, sat there like she expected. Looking as if the years had made no difference whatsoever to his appearance. She had no idea what to say, so she just brushed a hand over her dirty, dusty face and muttered a quick "'Sup?"

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Dick had become nervous and had resorted to looking at a stack of papers, twiddling his moustache simultaneously. He looked up when the next candidate entered.
'Egads!' He yelped in surprise. 'Well look who it is, my old buddy Rachel from my racing days, ehehe...What are you doing here, its been ages! And might I add, you haven't changed a bit.'

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After wrestling with her words a little, she blurted out a nervous laugh before catching it back in her mouth again and spluttering. Regaining her composure, she adjusted her hat from it's awkward angle and rocked back and forth on her feet.

"Yeah? No. Er, I mean." Her brow suddenly furrowed in realization. "Egads my arse!" She slammed a fist down on the desk and glared at him angrily. "And where was my phonecall? Where was my letter? Huh? Did you ever think about me? What I might be doing? Where I was going? HM!? No! You didn't, did you? You just swanned off leaving me alone, again, while you did whatever you wanted with whoever you wanted. Meanwhile I'm there worrying my ass off!"

Her arms flailed as she continued her rant, almost knocking over the phone on the desk in the process.

"Selfish, selfish!"

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Character Portrait: Dick Dastardly Character Portrait: Rachel Prince Character Portrait: The Scarlet Skydiver Character Portrait: Character Portrait: Character Portrait:
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'Tell me about it,' came a voice behind her. Rachel turned to see who had spoken. It was a dashing female, dressed in red pilots attire: burgundy pants, vermilion coat, red hood and gloves. She held a mug of coffee in her hand. 'Still, you cant blame him too much, after his bout of amnesia. He only recently remembered, but it took an awfully long time. '
Dick was astounded by Rachel's outburst. 'Hey, watch the desk will you? Just had it polished!' He came to his senses again. 'And as for no calls or letter, ive been busy with my new position as officer of a goofup squadron of flyboys. I could say the same about you too, forgetting about Dickie. Not good enough for you eh?

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Character Portrait: Dick Dastardly Character Portrait: Rachel Prince Character Portrait: The Scarlet Skydiver Character Portrait: Character Portrait: Character Portrait:
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After she'd given the female a once over she turned back to Dick and narrowed her eyes. "Good enough? HAH!" She decided to make herself comfortable on his desk and plonked her butt down heavily, the papers that were stacked neatly flew the the ground in spectacular style.

"Well, that's rich."

She turned back to the female. "Amnesia you say? Sounds fishy to me. You sure he wasn't faking?" She lefted a leg and crossed it over the other, dusting off her coat and making sure to get some dirt on his end of the desk. "He's tried that one before. Back when I met up with him for the third Wacky Races."

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Rather taken aback by her frankness, Rachel extended her very dusty mitt to her and accepted the handshake. "L-Love? Uh... I guess you could say... I... Er..." She stammered clumsily before looking down at her filthy hand. "Yeah, uh, sorry about the dirt. It's horrible out there. It's like it gets in all the cracks." After the handshake was over she brushed down her coat again causing a big cloud of dust to settle on the desk again. Inwardly she was pleased. It would get him back for this outrage.

"Sister, huh? You were very quiet about that!" She shot Dick a surprised look. "Mind you, you were quiet about a lot of things."

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Character Portrait: Dick Dastardly Character Portrait: Rachel Prince Character Portrait: The Scarlet Skydiver Character Portrait: Character Portrait: Character Portrait:
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'Thats ok, its not my office after all!' Cackled Scarlet. 'But the amnesia was very much real, it can befall anyone, even villains. '
'Aw come on Scarlet, she has a right to question, ' Dick said.'After all, sometimes I'm so sneaky, I dont even trust myself! 'He cackled to himself.
'Uh, yes, that you are. But heck, he didnt even remember his twin, the Dread Baron, ' Scarlet said incredulously. 'So, can I get you anything? And where you staying?' She turned towards Rachel. 'Dont just stand there DD, offer your lady friend a place to stay!'
'Ehehe, right, of course! Now if you'll be so kind and leave us for a while, sis,' he added, eyeing Rachel the whole time.
'Sure boss, whatever ya say,' replied Scarlet in gangster speak.

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Rachel snickered to herself. This visit may prove more interesting than she first thought. "Twin, huh?" She wiggled her eyebrows sneakily. "I'd sure like to meet him."

She removed her hat and tossed it towards the hat rack across the way. Alas, it missed and fell in a dusty heap on the floor. "Rats." Pouting, she wandered sluggishly over and bent down to pick it up, all the while worrying in case she may not be able to get back up again. Her back had started hurting from the journey and all that blasted dust.

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Character Portrait: [NPC] Bartender Character Portrait: Dick Dastardly Character Portrait: Rachel Prince Character Portrait: The Scarlet Skydiver Character Portrait: Character Portrait:
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Scarlet left the room, leaving the two alone. Dick sniggered to himself as Rachels' hat missed the rack. Then he sat back down in h chair, his arms folded in front of him.
'So tell me, what are you doing here? he asked, a weary expression on his face. 'Could it be you heard about recruiting and decided you wanted to join the vulture squadron? Or could it possibly be.....you missed an old colleague and decided to stop by to say hello?' He grinned villainously, twiddling his mustache.

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Rachel attempted to reach the hat, her back crunching as she did so. She picked it up, straightened out her aching spine, brushed off the dust and placed it on the rack.

"Curiosity." Her voice was frank and to the point, almost a little cold. She turned around to face him with a serious expression. "It's been years. Not a word from you. There's been so much that you've missed out on. I was shocked when you didn't enter the Wacky Races when it had been announced. I had no call about it from you or nothing!"

She walked slowly over to the desk and sat back on it, resting her chin on a hand. "After our last racing event with me spotting from the chopper... Well, I thought it went well, you know? I was almost scared that I heard absolutely nothing. Then, when I heard about the recruitment I had to come see for myself."

She lowered her gaze to the dirt floor. "Did you really forget everything?"

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Something about seeing her so with her back hunched as she stooped to reach her hat made Dick think for a moment. Getting up out of his chair he walked over to her and placed his hands on her soulders.
'Hey its only me,' he looked a tad uncomfortable. 'The chair you're sitting on isn't too comfortable, take mine. Its much better than this one,' he ushered her towards his chair. He looked seriously into her eyes, then back at the floor, then into her eyes again, unsure of where to start.
'I'm afraid to say that yes I did forget everything. What Scarlet said was very much true. Don't for one minute think that I forgot about you because I didn't care. I could never forget about you Rachel, you're just amazing. You have no idea what is like, waking up one morning and forgetting everything you've ever known. Forgetting about who you are. Your loved ones - especially my own sister. Scarlet would never admit to it, but she was struggling. It was hurting her to see my like this, wanting to tell me the truth yet not being able to. Can't imagine what she has been through. But I would never forget about you intentionally. You have my word, as an officer and a gentleman.' He walked towards to the window, looking out at the airfield in front of him.
'So, you have anywhere to stay? Scarlet's offer still stands. I'd be happy too. But if not, then I respect your decision. But tell me, how have you been all these years?

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"Busy." She was not really interested in talking about herself, she did that far too much at book signings.

The chair creaked as she slouched into it, savouring the relief it offered. She let out a breath and looked over to Dick as he stared out the window.

"I don't know. I wouldn't want to make things awkward. I don't have a place at the moment. I guess I was waiting to see if I'd be accepted or not. I've only ever flown my chopper, Dolores. I've never tried a plane before."

She turned her chair a little, as craning in such a way to look at him was starting to give her neck pain too. A chuckle left her lips. "Amazing, you say?" She couldn't resist trying to make him squirm.

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He tried to scowl at her, but couldn't for some reason. 'Yes, amazing. I'm guessing you've become famous by now.' He was just about to open the window for some air but was stopped in his tracks. 'Wait, did I just hear you mention 'Dolores?' He stared at her incredulously as he walked slowly towards her. 'Drat and double drat, Rachel! Why would you ever name the chopper after Dolores? If this is some kind of cruel joke to get back at me, then........I salute you!' His scowl suddenly turned into an evil smile and he rubbed his hands gleefully. 'No need to worry about making things awkward, you'll be very welcome here. Besides, Scarlet will need a room mate for a couple of days while that scaredy cat is away on his furlough. She has the best room too.' He now had his hand on her shoulder, the serious expression back on his face.

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"Regardless of the memory problems," laughed Rachel, "I'm glad to see you haven't changed much." She patted his hand lightly. "Yes, it was an attempt and back when you first saw the name on my chopper back then you had the very same reaction."

She slowly tried to rise from her chair, her back creaking again. "I really hate my seats. They make me look like a feeble old biddy."

The Harlequin Star was indeed in need of a serious upgrade. The once comfortable seats were worn and tattered and the car itself was a shadow of its former self.

"Wait... You say someone else shares her room?"

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'Ehehe, same here, old friend,' he said with a gentle chuckle. He had to admit, as volatile as they were, he was happy to see his old racing colleague again. He tried to hide his smile and turned serious again.
'Yes, it seems that my sister now has a mate, that scaredy-cat Zilly of all people! She couldn't find someone brave and aristocratic who the family would approve of, hmpf! Not only that but, she's also...well, in a nut shell, I'll be an uncle very soon...' he looked down at the floor shyly, his eyes closed. 'Anyway enough about that, lets have a look at the Harlequin Racer, shall we,' he extended his hand to Rachel, helping her up.

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"Wait... You mean..." Her eyes widened and a grin slowly crept across her face. "Ahhh! Oh my gods! Baby!" She forgot entirely about her crippled back and began dancing around in circles punching the air. "Hahahaha!" But only for a short time. "Ouch..."

After patting her back to stop it from telling her off so viciously, she looked back up at him. "But, surely you don't want to work now! Not after that news!" She nudged him with her elbow. "Uncle Dicky-Dick."

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The chief felt himself flushing red all over.

'Haha, very funny.....And i tend to make babies cry for some reason. I must say I'm rather surprised myself, that he could actually fall in love and she reciprocated. I mean, this is my sister we are talking about, the Ice Queen! She has broken so many hearts in her life time,' he was cackling uncontrollably in disbelief. He composed himself after a while.

'And don't worry, I wouldn't mind working. But I have to help her with setting up a baby's room,' he said glumly.

'Careful there, are you alright?' he asked concerned for his friend, patting her back.

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"Right... I see. Well, I could give you a hand with that if it's needed. I'm shocked they're allowing it on base. Heh. Times are changing."

She kicked at the dirt ground and straightened herself up again. She was interested in this base, it seemed full of interesting characters. As a Wacky Races contestant she was all about interesting characters.

Rachel grabbed hold of his hand and squoze it, a sly look on her face. "Right then. Am I going to actually get a proper greeting or not, Mister Forgetful?"

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'Well, thank you Rachel,' he gave her a small happy smile, different from his usual dastardly grins. He could be a real nice guy when he wanted to, it seemed.

'Yes, everything changes so fast, I can't believe it myself. Something else I can't believe, is that you are here right next to me and I'm talking to you.' He noticed the squeeze on his hand, his face turning as red as a plum tomato. He straightened himself up, his scowl back on his face (or was it a hard cover to hide his sensitivity?). He pondered her question for a couple of seconds

'Uh, right....How about a hug?'

Just at that moment, there was the sound of running outside the door, it was a soft sound, like someone running in slippers. A couple of seconds later the door was flung open and 5 little puppies bounded into the room.

'Scarlet and Zilly's puppies,' Dick explained. 'Dont ask.'