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Aser Pivoni

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a character in “Decemuir”, as played by phooka



Ciela 3



Aser doesn't usually let people call him anything, though he accepts it when his Decemuir does. He doesn't have any nicknames that people usually call him, though sometimes people with mispronounce his name and call him Aser (like Lazer but without an L). This annoys him to no end, though he doesn't mind it as much if his Atma calls him it, he actually finds it kind of cute.

When it comes to giving other people nicknames, if he cares about someone a lot, he'll usually give them a nickname and annoy them with it. It really just means that he likes them. He has nicknames for all of his 'siblings'.

Atma 3


Aser has a complicated personality. At first glance, he's the silent type. He tends to stand back and allow his siblings to talk for him. When around other people, he only talks when it's necessary and prefers to stand back and watch before he makes his move. Despite being an Ciela and not an Atma, Aser does like to use his mind rather than his fists. For this reason, his siblings often refer to him as the 'Anti-Ciela' or his Ciela siblings call him an Atma just to get on his nerves. He tends to stay quiet and watch situations through with calculating eyes. He likes to gather information on things or people before he lets himself get involved with them. He's more of an observer, rarely taking sides other than his own, unless he feels a need to step in or do something, so Aser's very neutral. Because of his "information gathering", he's very good at handling tough situations, and is almost always calm during them.
When it comes to his sister, Aser is very protective over her and despite preferring to stay neutral, he always finds himself taking her side on just about anything no matter what. He cares very deeply for all of his siblings but he has a very close bond with his Atma that nothing could ever destroy. He likes to entertain his siblings with his power and he likes making them happy.
Aser is strong willed and stubborn, he stands up for what he thinks is right, because he thinks that what he thinks is final. He likes to argue with people until they see things his way, because to him, his way is the right way.

Aser has the ability to bend water. After having two years of living in solitude with only Creatrix, his siblings, and her servants to do anything with, he had plenty of time to work on his skills. Often being more of a lover than a fighter, Aser is more skilled at little tricks and things used for entertainment. The thing that he's best at is making water animals. He especially likes making water dragons and he'll often freeze them and give them to one of his sisters.
Aser is able to do multiple things with water such as move it, freeze it, heat it, etc. Currently, he's working on learning how to bend the water in people to control them.

Aser is good at keeping the peace within the group. Despite the fact that he doesn't display emotions well, he also likes to make other people happy and will often go out of his way to do so. He's very loyal and bluntly honest.

Aser isn't the best fighter in the world, preferring to stay back and watch. He also doesn't do well with fire, it being his opposite element, though he does try to get along the best he can with Erebeth, the fire element.

Appearance Description
Aser has the tall dark and handsome type of appearance, though it doesn't really reflect his personality. He has long midnight black hair that flows pin straight down to his lower back. He often lets Rayne or his Atma brush and play with his hair. He usually has it pulled back tight in a ponytail. His bangs hang in his face and his siblings often tease him about why he bothers putting it up if most of it is in his face anyway. His bangs cover up the right side of his face. He never lets anyone see behind his bangs because he has a blank eye. His soul was pulled out of his eye by Creatrix, but it had gotten too comfortable and there were some troubles getting it out to give to his Atma. Because of this, Aser has a long scar from his hairline, down the center of his eye, to his jawline and his eye doesn't work and often looks glazed over and dead. His eyes are an electric blue, however sometimes they turn a sickly green depending on his mood.

Rayne: Aser cares a lot for Rayne, mostly because she's one of the youngest and some parts of her reminds him of his sister when she was younger. He likes to give her ice sculptures and will often make them for her by request. He loves her carefree spirit.
Lily: Aser finds Lily to be very fun and refreshing to be around. He finds that they are both very similar and that helps the two get along much better. He loves her personality and is grateful that she stayed the same despite all of the terrible things Creatrix made everyone do.
Christopher: Aser isn't particularly close to Christopher, but he does trust and respect him. Aser likes to hang around Chris when he needs some peace and quiet, time away from the rest of the family.
Allessandra: Aser loves and adores his twin. He's extremely protective over her, though he tries not to show it around her. He cares deeply for her and her feelings, and it's not just because their lives are bound together. He cares the most for her and would be devastated if anything were to happen to her.
Ezra: One of Aser's pet peeves is lazy people, so obviously he doesn't think too highly of Ezra. He accepts that that is the way the older boy is, but Aser is always a lot happier when Ezra decides to pull his weight once and a while.

Solomon: Aser likes to think of himself as Solomon's protective big brother. Aser cares a lot for Solomon and he's probably the male sibling that he's closest to. He often jokes around with Solomon about girls and random things. He likes to pick on Solomon for the fun of it but he truly cares deeply for the younger boy.
Ophrys: Same as with Christopher. Ophrys isn't exactly Aser's favorite, but he gets along with him much better than he gets along with Erebeth or Ezra.
Erebeth: Aser is sometimes intimidated by Erebeth because they are both polar opposites in both elements and personalities. He finds that she is one of the hardest people for him to get along with and he takes it as a challenge and tries his hardest to befriend her. He often gets into fights with Erebeth (she's one of the few he actually argues with), but in the end he knows that they both care about each other and would do anything for each other.
Ciela 4:

Aser absolutely adores animals.



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So begins...

Aser Pivoni's Story


Characters Present

Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Allessandra Character Portrait: Rayne Williams Character Portrait: Solomon Williams
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#, as written by phooka

September 13
If I had known that it would have been so difficult to get rid of Creatrix, I would have thought more deeply into the plan. I would have planned ahead to what we would do after we got rid of her.
But I didn't.
I blame myself, I should have thought ahead. I may not be an Atma like my sister or like Rayne or Lily or Christopher or Ezra, but I am smart and I am one of the oldest. I should have seen this coming.
And if I would have known Creatrix's death was going to be so brutal and so gory I would have told the girls to stay out of the room when we killed her. They needed to take their revenge, too, but I would have preferred it if Allessandra didn't need to live with the guilt that came with having blood on her hands...

It seemed that no matter how much he scrubbed at his hands under the scalding water in the lab's sink the sensation of his mother's blood on them wouldn't go away. He turned to see his Decemuir, Allessandra, standing behind him waiting for the sink, her small hands still stained with blood. Looking back down at his own hands, red and raw from the hot water, but clean all the same, a wave of guilt surged through him. He quickly spun around and grabbed his sister's wrists, plunging her hands under the faucet and working furiously to scrub the blood that was beginning to dry already off of them.
The boy who was usually calm and quiet was suddenly panicking and feeling the guilt and shame that came after killing his mother. His breath came in short gasps and his face was red, his blue eyes tearing up a bit. Aser hated himself with all of his being for letting Alless participate in the cold blooded murder of Creatrix, she was too innocent, too pure to have something this heavy looming over her for the rest of her life.
He squeezed his sister's hands tightly, trying to pull himself back to sanity. He needed to stay calm for Alless and for the rest of the family. This wasn't the time to panic.
When the tears began to flow, he was glad that the others were off in other rooms washing their hands and packing their things. He didn't want them to see him in such a state of vulnerability.
Aser pulled Allessandra's hands out of the water and turned off the faucet, picking up a towel off of the counter and drying them for her, all the while turning his head so that she wouldn't see him cry.
"It'll be okay, Alless." He said, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper. He wondered if he was trying to comfort her or himself.
When he was satisfied that her hands were clean and dry, he wiped his eyes on his sleeves and began inspecting her body and clothing for any injuries or blood splatters. He didn't see any, so he took a deep breath to compose himself and grabbed his sister's hand, leading her out of the lab and towards their shared bedroom so they could pack. Aser took her the long way so they wouldn't have to pass the bedroom where Creatrix's mauled and disfigured body lay still on her bed, the door to the room wide open.
When they entered the room, he rushed to the closet and pulled out two backpacks and tossed one on his bed and then handed the other to his twin. "Take only what you need," he instructed. "Be as quick as possible, we need to leave as soon as we can." He leaned in and kissed her forehead before turning and beginning to dig through his dressers and things for the stuff he would need. He shoved shirts and pants, underwear and toiletries, all of the things he believed he would need when they went off on their own. He also went to their bookself and grabbed a few of his favorites, sticking them inside as well as a flashlight and first aid kit.
Aser instructed Alless to stay in the room before wandering out of their room and headed to Creatrix's room. He needed one last thing.
The sight of Creatrix's body sent a wave of emotion and nausea through Aser's body. He leaned over and retched but his stomach was empty so nothing came out. Her once pretty face had been slashed beyond recognition. Her hands and feet had been cut off and thrown in the trash bin beside her bed. Her stomach had been cut open and the insides were exposed. Her arms, legs, and neck had been broken and bent at grotesque angles. The lab equipment and kitchen utensils that were used as weapons by all eight of the Decemuirs were laying in various places around the room where they had dropped them when they went to go clean up, blood beginning to dry on them.
It seemed that something inside of each of them had snapped when they went to kill Creatrix that night, none of them were themselves, replaced by violent, savage animals bent on revenge upon the woman who had once been their mother figure.
It was too horrible to look at and Aser shut his eyes as he made his way to the dresser. He first searched the drawers, finding about $50 in various places as well as Creatrix's credit card. Not satisfied, Aser pushed the dresser aside, a much bigger prize in mind. Behind where the dresser had been, a large safe had been built into the wall. The teenage boy pulled off the silver chain that hung around his neck, a small key dangled off of it and he stuck it into the safe and turned it. He had found the key around Creatrix's neck when he had gone to snap it only an hour or so ago. He shivered at the thought, but it was quickly pushed out of his mind when the safe's door swung open.
Smiling slightly, Aser reached inside and pulled out wads of bills. He knew she was loaded, she would have never been able to afford the mansion or the experiments she had done on the children if she wasn't! Grinning, he ran out of the room, not even pausing to look at the body of his former mother.
He found himself in Rayne and Solomon's room and showed the wads to them both. "We're not going to starve!" He exclaimed, his previous mood had all but vanished at his discovery. He tossed one of them to Rayne and then hurried back to his own room to tell Alless the good news.


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Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Allessandra
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"For years
I've been sleeping
Couldn't tell a soul"
It was possibly the first time I had ever disobeyed my mother. What we did - what I did.. Was unusual. A flaw in my character maybe.. But I wanted to. And though the gilt sits like a rock in the pit of my stomach, a hole in my heart, an ache in my mind, and a clench in my throat.. I know it was what we all wanted. I want to reminisce.. Say anything nice she could've done for me.. But that would only cause me guilt.. Which I didn't need. I keep myself composed and collected.. Which may come off as traumatized to Aser; but maybe I was. Sometimes in this state.. I don't know how I feel.. How I am.. Then again; it never has come up often enough for me to analyze. I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched.. Mostly because of the way I see how everyone effects me.. Though I can't tell if Creatrix made me the way I am or because of her.. I am who I am..

Allessandra was in a bit of a daze, as Aser pushed and pulled her around the house she'd lived in all her life. Now it seemed different.. And unfamiliar. The house was quiet, and there was a feeling of absence. At the same time, that feeling was relaxing and good. She stood still behind her twin as he repeatedly tried to scrub the blood off of his hands. She looked down at her own, coated in a thick dark red liquid. She watched the way it moved when she adjusted her hand. Some slowly dripped, or ran down her wrist. She remembered to keep it away from her clothes though. As she stared at the blood, she could feel herself growing father from things. She felt small.. She could feel the blood drying, and hardening a bit in her skin. She tried clenching her fists, but the motion was so slow that she gave up. Suddenly Aser grasped her wrists, and plunged her hands into water. Her scrubbed at them, working the stain off of her porcelain dainty hands. His hands were rough but gentle. She knew he was panicking a bit.. About her and all of them. He was a bit disgusted but still relieved. She could feel his pain.. She wondered why they weren't happy like they planned to be.

He turned his head away, as to not show her he was upset. "It'll be okay, Alless." His words were distant.. but she felt them. She wanted to hug him.. Reassure him that what he said was true. Tell him and show him that she loved him more than herself or anything in the world. But he had already turned back to dry off her hands before she could.
He took care of her. Good care.. More than her mother ever had. Maybe that was why she never felt comfortable around the woman. The evil succubus.. If you could call her that.. But to find beauty in all things.. that was the challenge that Alless always seemed to complete. Creatrix was smart.. In a way. Her mind was fascinating and intricate. Though she might've been sick.. Twisted.. and disturbed.. She was brilliant.
It was never going to be easy.. But will it be worth it? Possibly.

Aser lead her into their bedroom and seemed to rush her. He took the long way, probably to avoid the mangled body. She was grateful for that, she didn't know how much she could handle. He took out two averagely sized backpacks, and gave one to her. "Take only what you need, be as quick as possible, we need to leave as soon as we can." he told her, and kissed her gently on the forehead. She couldn't help but feel a little warmth though her. She felt very safe around her twin and was thankful for everything he'd ever done for her. A lot of the time she didn't know how to tell him this, but when she used to get scared for whatever reason, probably something Creatrix had done, she'd curl up with him and tell him then late at night. He began to pack, so she did as well.

She didn't have much in the first place, and she seemed to pack more delicately than Aser. He was rushing, but she understood why. Part of her wondered if she would miss anything about being here.. But she realized that she didn't care where she was as long as she was with him. Carefully she placed her few belongings in the bag, her clothes and basic needs. Aser left the room, for whatever reason. She looked to her bookshelf, which held books and a few nicknacks. She lifted her arm, holding it straight, palm open towards the bookshelf; at two particular books. Channeling her energy with great focus, she lifted the books and slowly flew them over to her hand. She placed them in the bag as well. They were her favorite books, Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass. She loved the idea of a wonderland, which is maybe why she was so curious all the time. Along with the books she took a small snow globe that Creatrix had given her once. Alless didn't actually have a name for it.. But inside there was a castle, and flecks of sparkles and white balls. She wondered what it was, but didn't question it. She placed it on top of her other things, and zipped up her bag.

She left the bag sitting on her bed, and sauntered over to the mirror they had in their room. It was a bit dingy and old, with spots of brown dirt on the glass. She stared at her reflection, and batted her long eyelashes. Her green eyes looked tired, and only a few flecks of gold could be seen. Her red hair was silky and soft, falling around her face. She ran her fingers through her hair, the smooth strands falling from her hand. She sighed, and turned away. Could she really look at herself the same after what she'd done? Time didn't seem to be real anymore.. Things were standing still. She felt as if she were watching herself, in a dream almost.

Taking her bag, and slinging it on her back, she began to step out of the room, to find Aser.


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Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Lily Character Portrait: Ophrys
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Lily had to will every muscle in her body to remain still. Her vision was slightly blurred with tears that threatened to spill over- tears she hated herself for having. Her stomach was tight and churning. Her bright emerald green eyes flicked around the room, her very slightly tembling body flinching at every noise. She wrapped her arms around herself, pressing her back into the wall and closing her eyes tightly. She knew the women was dead. Her blood coated her hands, smeared on her cheek from when she covered her face in horror. She took a deep, unsteady breath.

When her brother held her, she flinched and whimpered loud like a wounded animal in surprise. Trembling, she looked up at her twin when he told her to clean herself. She nodded numbly, making her way to the sink in a daze and scrubbing the blood off of her skin. She knew it had to be done- that women was awful and would keep hurting everyone she loved if she wasn't stopped. But it had all been so terrible. The screams, the blood, all of it. Her betrayed expression was burned into Lily's mind, those terrible noises haunting her mind. Deep down, sh knew she was the weakest link out of her family. So naive, so easily shaken.

Shaking her head, she quickly made her way too her room. She felt like every time she turned around, that monster would be behind her. Wanting revenge. She was would always silently allow her to hurt her- if she was hurting her, than her family was safe.
But she hurt all of them. She had to keep them safe. A tiny whimper escaped her as she packed her things wordlessly. A first aid kit, clothes, a flash light, a warm blanket, ect. She knew her twin had already left, but she would have no trouble finding him. She packed light, and slung her bag over her shoulder.

When she was satisfied, she silently made her way into Aser and Alless's room. Aser was standing with his back to her. He seemed excited about something. "Uhm. . . Aser?" She whispered shakily, still trembling slightly. "Uhm, hello. I was wondering if we were going to stay together, to go seperate ways? We're going to stay all together, right?" She whispered, and a tear escaped, steaming down her face. "Sorry." She murmured, looking away and wiping her face. She wrapped her arms around herself, she took a deep breath before looking back up at Aser.
"My twin has already started off, but he isn't far at all." She pursed her lips, her eyes flicking from his face to the rest of the room, as she brushed back her oft strawberry curls.


Characters Present

Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Rayne Williams Character Portrait: Solomon Williams
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What had happened to us? We didn't have to do that! Creatrix was broken and alone and no threat to anyone.......but slaughtered her anyway.I'm pretty a lot of them enjoyed it........which scares me. I mean, I know she deserves far worse but.......that doesn't mean we get to decide that. We aren't above anyone. But if that's true then why do I feel satisfied? Maybe it was because of what she put Rayne through. Like in the end I protected her like I promised......but I didn't. I just put her through more torment. I just want to break......but I have to remain strong. If not for me than for the others......for Rayne.

"What?" Solomon had been too focused on his thoughts to have realized that Aser had just came in and handed them a was of money. He tried to ssaysomething but nothing came out as he left. It seemed Rayne had picked up the money, he would let her hold onto it, after all, she was way smarter than him and would know what to do with it.

She had been awfully quite after he had used his power to remove the blood from their hands. Almost a cold quiet. He suddenly felt his entire body go stiff. He hadn't t even thought of.......He had hoped she was just........

Solomon spun around to find his sister gone. When he saw that Doc had been knocked to the way side, he knew exactly what had happened. Solomons head dropped low. His fists became clenched. He was squeezing them so tight, that a small amount of blood was beginning to drip from them. When he looked up, his pupils were incredibly small, focused. He grabbed Doc and walked out into the hallway.

SIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Solomon yelled at the top of his lungs. The mansion began to ripple and echo his voice, as if it was a lake having its surfaces disturbed.


Characters Present

Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Allessandra Character Portrait: Rayne Williams Character Portrait: Lily Character Portrait: Solomon Williams
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#, as written by phooka

Sometimes I think that we should use Creatrix's money and invest in some walkie talkies for the group. Everyone is just so independent, it'll be the death of us all, I swear.

Aser was beginning to make is way back to the room when a small voice behind him stopped him mid stride. He pocketed the wad of money that he was still clutching in his hand and turned around to face Lily.

"Uhm. . . Aser?" She said, her voice sad and shaky. "Uhm, hello. I was wondering if we were going to stay together, or go separate ways? We're going to stay all together, right?"

"Of course we are, we all need each other." He replied plainly, fingering the crisp bills in his pocket.

Aser smiled at her sweetly, trying to calm her nerves but was caught off guard when he saw the tear escape from her usually bright, happy eyes. "Sorry." She apologized, wiping her face and continuing. "My twin has already started off, but he isn't far at all."

"Don't be sorry," he insisted, going over to her and wrapping his arms around her tightly, "This is scary for all of us. Send a message to Orphys and tell him to stay in the mansion so we can get together and plan what we're going to do next." He squeezed her one last time before releasing her from the hug and looking into her eyes. "It'll all be okay, don't worry." He assured her, his voice stern and steady.

He stood up straight again and swept a long strand of black hair off of his shoulder, then tucked some of Lily's hair behind her ear and smiled. "I'm going to go get Rayne and Sol, how about you go find Erebeth and Christopher and get them into the main room if they aren't there already?" He turned and began towards his room, he'd grab his things and Alless before he went to Rayne and Solomon's room.

Aser paused on his way back to the room, his eyes spotting the blood stains on the wall. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, this was definitely not the time for Sin to be running rampant. The group needed to be focused and levelheaded so they could figure everything out with a sane, clear mind.


So much for sanity.

Aser rolled his eyes and jogged to catch up with Solomon as he ran out of his room after Sin. "Solomon! Solomon, wait!" He called, grabbing the younger boy's shoulder and trying to calm him down. "Take a deep breath and tell me which direction Sin went." He said gently, not removing his hands from Sol's small shoulders.

A tugging in the back of his consciousness told him that Alless was on the move. Closing his eyes and concentrating on the thin stand that connected their minds, he sent a message to her. Sin is out, I'm in the hallway near Sol's room, come quickly and be careful if you run into her. He instructed, trying to keep his mind voice calm, but he was worried about losing Sin before they could all get their new lives together and with the news about Orphys already leaving, Aser was feeling pretty high strung. As one of the oldest of the group, he felt that it was his job to keep the family together even though Creatrix, mother, was dead.


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Character Portrait: Aser Pivoni Character Portrait: Allessandra
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"This hurts so much
This knowing carries me
We want so bad
We forget we are free"
Sometimes, if I think really hard, I can remember everything. Sometimes I find myself lost in my head, in my own thought's world. If I think hard enough, sometimes I can remember colors and smells of everything I've ever done. The problem is that the memories get muddled and cloudy easily.. So I spend my time matching ideas with familiar pictures. Usually time goes by without me fully knowing.. Sometimes I get so absorbed in ideas that I can't see reality anymore, and at that point my twin usually has to send a mental message through to break the barrier that holds my mind captive.
On top of the daze I'd slipped into, I could feel.. sense.. tension in the house. Worried tension. At the time I hadn't know Sin was the reason causing it.. The reckless dark side of Rayne.. Often I find myself questioning the girls mental state, with her split personalities. mostly I try to avoid her.. Only because I can handle her at small doses at a time. Then again.. My introverted nature provides an easy getaway from any social contact; not that Aser would let that happen.
It was probably not as much time as I thought when I recovered from my haze of memory. The memory itself was distant and hard to fully grasp. It felt like waking up from a dream and remembering a lot of bits and pieces, but not being able to connect them. Times like these I found myself frustrated, but I didn't have time to complain. I was about to completely leave the room, when Aser tapped into my brain, telling me to meet him in a hallway and look out for Sin. Sometimes I didn't understand what the danger was of her anyway, but I didn't want to cause any debates about it. Let people do what they want right?
All in all though.. I had to admit I was afraid. It was brave of us all to stand up to that woman the way we had.. But we were left with nothing but paper and heavy hearts. I knew we were finally able to leave. We were free. But.. As much as I feared her.. I was scared to be free.

Alless found herself strolling down the hall, letting her feet take her the direction her mind pictured. She floated almost, as if she'd just waken up and still felt a bit light headed. Her feet barely made a noise as they delicately contacted the ground. She ended up outside of Solomon's room, as she carefully swept into place slightly behind her twin. His dark hair covered half of his face as usual. His appearance gave a strong yet dependable vibe that Alless always liked about him. She always felt safe beside him and never felt uncomfortable in his presence.
He looked busy.. Or at least something occupied his mind. She could tell he was a bit stressed, feeling as though he owed the family to be their leader. She didn't fully agree with this opinion on the matter, but she appreciated his care for the others. She had always looked up to him like an older brother rather than a twin because he seemed so much more charismatic and friendly than herself. She knew she was intelligent and a lovely person herself, but she could never figure out how to connect with people like she often saw him do. She envied his ease of communication sometimes, all of them in fact. Many of them were either outgoing and bold, or shy and adorable. The outgoing bold ones always seemed to "make a name" for themselves, while the shy adorable ones always seemed to get attention because of how cute they were. Being one of the oldest, Alless knew she couldn't get away with the "cute" act. She looked too elegant
and an older kind of beautiful than the other girls' young pretty look. Most of the time she went unnoticed, which is didn't bother her as much as it should.

She wondered if her twin would've noticed she had arrived if she hadn't softly placed her hand on the side of his arm. She gave him a comforting look, even though there was so much more to say to him. She wished she could help him relax a bit, but she could tell they wouldn't be feeling safe for a long time. At least not in this blood stained house, wreaking of murder, guilt, and betrayal. Her stomach seemed to turn at the thought, and even more at the smell of the drying blood. She felt a bit sick, but she knew she'd have to stay together mostly for Aser's sake. He was worried as much as it was.

Mainly her goal of the day was to successfully leave the house with everyone mostly in tact. Hopefully Rayne would come back, and many of their minds would be at ease. The main problem was what to do when they left. None of them had too much knowledge of what the actual world was like. She hadn't really ever left the property in her life. Sometimes she was nervous just venturing out into the garden, because of how open and exposed she felt. She could only imagine what it'd be like outside the walls of a place she'd known her whole life. She suddenly felt cold, and she wrapped her pale fragile arms around her body. Her muscles tensed, and she shivered a bit. Occasionally she got these chills. Ever since she could remember she experienced them at random.. But they happened often when she was feeling stressed or anxious. She knew that leaving the house would eventually lead her to panicking for some reason. Probably separation from her twin would harm her.

Her fears usually went along the boarder line of slightly irrational. But the thing she feared now was more understandable. The idea of them being on their own scared her as much as she felt safe with her twin. At the same time she was happy to be leaving, she felt a bit numb and empty at the fact they had to start completely from scratch and somehow figure out how to survive together. She knew her selfish jealousy would probably kick in when everyone was in need of her twin. Without him around she always felt incredibly lonely. The kind of lonely that hangs in the room, and practically takes the place of anyone. It seemed to fill her body and swallow her whole. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but the feeling wouldn't drop and it didn't intend to.

The idea of grasping her freedom so easily was like being offered something you wanted so badly, but felt cautious because of how easily you attained it. She thought killing the woman would be harder. She thought she'd feel more emotion toward it.. But she didn't. What she wanted was to feel a bit of understanding from anyone.. But she didn't expect to get any because no one would have the time to do it. Everyone was confused and borderline panicking in her opinion, and her antisocialness always seemed to come back to haunt her. More or less she was trapped in herself more than the walls of the house.

"What hurts so much
Is knowing we are free"