Carmine Bates was perched on at the kitchen counter when he finally made it back home, typing away at her laptop with all the seriousness of a wall street lawyer. Glasses balanced on her nose, tea steaming on her right, and a stack of woman style magazines on her left, she didn't even look up when Simon entered the kitchen.
"Mom" He greeted her from behind, setting his bags down so he could wind his tattooed arms around her thin shoulders as she continued to type, pretending to ignore her youngest son in favor for her latest 'job', "If you are organizing another fashion show, you know I need front seats"
He could feel her body visibly relax at his presence- though she was used to him not coming home for multiple nights in a row, he knew it still bothered her under the surface. Always watchful but never too intrusive, Carmine kept to herself just enough to allow Simon to think he had the run of the town- secretly she had her talons loosely wrapped around him, whether it by making Dominic keep tabs on it or sending out a driver to pick him up when she knew his whereabouts. Simon didn't care, he knew his mother liked to have a sense of control in her life and didn't mind being just that for her.
"Simon, you know you are way to big to lean on me like this" Always a calm voice, though it was now laced with mild irritation. He chuckled, his beard rubbing against her exposed shoulders as he moved to plant a sloppy kiss on her cheek.
"Excuse me for showing you my love, mother" Simon stepped away and around the counter to avoid her too-slow swat meant for the back of his head. He popped a hip against the marble counter top and watched his mother remove her glasses and pinch a tired worry-line off her forehead. For an older woman, Carmine was absolutely stunning. Maybe it was the years she'd spent with little worries, when their cashflow came in easy and she lived her life just for her children. Recently he'd been able to tell her age more- small things like crows feet, forehead lines, aging skin, aching shoulders, grey visible in her grow-out. It worried him, although he knew aging with a silly thing to worry about.
"I was worried, you've been gone three nights in a row. Usually I can tell at least when you come home for a shower"
Simon sighed and turned away favor of the fridge, sensing an argument and not wanting to get into it right now. Shopping with Senna had relaxed him for the most part, but if he allowed himself to his mind could easily slip back to the image of Jasper above him, arms caged on either side of his head and the prick of a needle grazing against his throbbing throat. He could almost just replace Jasper's hand with his own, remove the other boy entirely and give himself the needle- skin would break easily, a small bead of blood would be all he would loose, then his body would relax as the drugs filtered through him and slowed everything to a dull crawl-
He opened the fridge, the rush of cool air simmering his mind, "I was at Gun and Dom's, you don't need to worry so much", his eyes traced the mountains of tupperware and frozen meals, wishing that his mom would keep something edible in the fridge and not just copious amounts of leftovers. With a sigh of frustration he shut the door a little too harshly, turning to face the Bates matriarch whom was regarding him with a cool, even stare. A very Dom look, something Simon always thought his older brother had obtained from their father.
But maybe Dominic was more like his mother then he thought.
"Are you doing alright?" Carmine was perceptive as always, especially when it came to her baby. She could see his tight shoulders, stiff neck, the obvious soreness of his muscles from his late night activities, the way his eyes seemed to shift everywhere but hers.
Simon smile and rolled his eyes, playing it off easily even though he wasn't alright at all, "Im fine. Just need a shower and a nap" He grabbed the bags he'd deposited earlier and left the kitchen, ignoring the heavy gaze his mother followed him out the room with.
Safe in his room, he deposited himself on his black leather sofa without turning on a light. In the dark he could easily dig out what he needed- flick of the lighter, in hale, hold, then a slow stream of pure white smoke deflates his chest and allows his body to fully relax into the cushions. Fuck, he needed that hours ago- the restlessness in his bones made his over active mind nauseatingly fast, just the small confrontation with his mother had made the anxiety build up in his throat like bile. He hadn't been home in a few days and although he always had weed on him, there was nothing like siting on his couch by himself and letting his body sink into his own allotted self-medication. By himself, he could feel his mind teeter, let the constant stream of thought sift away and loose the tension from his shoulders. He relaxed, his usual perfect posture mellowed, and he let himself lean back and close his eyes and
not give a shit.
Maybe Jasper as right, maybe this made more sense then everything else.
The buzz of his phone his his pocket startled him more then normal- it bothered him that even high, Jaspers tar still filtered through the haze.
[From: Hani]
[Hey...a drink? If you’re free]
Fuck yeah he was free.
[From: Simon]
Always free for you ;) Hows about you meet me at the strip in an hour? I owe you a few drinks, we can get wasted and hide from our problems together
Eagerly his fingers flung a text back at her and he hoped off the couch with energy that hadn't been present before. One shower, another smoke, and a change later, and Simon was hollering down the stairs a quick goodbye to his mother. He dressed more casually then he normally did- simple black tee, levi's, a dark fur-lined jacket- clothes that he didn't care much for. Cause Simon was higher then he'd been in a while and he had no interest in making it back home again tonight- he wanted someone new to wipe away the insistent creeping thoughts of pale junkie tattoo flesh and cocked needles.
The heat coming from the stage lights and the gathered sweaty bodies makde the place smell like exactly what it was, a joint meant for to feasting your eyes naked, hot contorted bodies. Pure sex, where woman used their power in a way that made the opposite sex turn primal. Although Simon preferred men for the most part, he could never deny that a the hot shit that pulled themselves up on the polls in next to nothing and ground their asses for bills didn't turn him on. It air was thick and sweaty, either from the crowded stages or the grinding bodies in the back of the strip next to the DJ. He pushed slowly through the crowd, idling racking his eyes over the stages and lingering on a few that caught his eye, though he moved on faster then most. Attractive, sexy, but nothing that really got him going farther then pure aesthetics.
He ordered a whiskey for Hani and himself- he didn't know what the small girl drank, but figured he couldn't go wrong if it was top shelf liquor. Down the bar he caught sight of Gun and Dom, both looking as stubbornly unhappy as usually. Dom, his usual scowl in place, didn't even smile when he nodded at Simon in greeting- so Simon beamed down the bar like the good little brother he was. He had a mind to head over and bother the two until he got at least a smirk, but decided he was too high to deal with their cantankerous 'fuck-off' presence. He loved his brothers, but why the fuck did they come to a strip if all they wanted to do with sit and glower at everyone else? Instead he paid and snuck through the crowds, found Hani at a booth out of the way, and handed over her drink.
Whiskey in hand and eyes dancing across the crowded sweaty bodies and half naked woman, Simon let his eyes roam for familiar faces. Generally he always saw someone he knew here- his brothers, the Zaires, some of the woman that always seemed to be hanging off of either of the elder Bates arms, Jasper... and as if on cue, said demons sickly dark aura stood out amongst the rest, his bad posture and sneering smirk already grating on Simons nerves. He was talking to someone, he couldn't see from here, and he hated the sickly feeling of jealousy that crept through him. Jasper wasn't his, he
didn't want him, but right now he couldn't help the possessive way he wanted the tear him away from the crowd. He clenched his glass hard, taking a long sip of the burning liquid, and tore his eyes away.
There was no need to get wrapped up in that tonight, not when he'd spent all day avoiding the shit that was Jasper Callaghan and had a room full of other choices. Maybe he'd go unnoticed in this dark booth, maybe Hani's light presence would steer the demon away, or maybe Simon should give in and let things go their own course-
Fuck that.
He easily found the 'other choice' of the night, grinding against one of the half dressed girls like he planed to unload himself right on the dance floor. A skinny, blonde, tattooed junkie, grudgingly Simons new type. He tipped back the glass and winked at Hani before slipping through the crowds to join the undulating bodies in the back. He supposed he should have been bothered that the skinny kid looked eerily like Jasper when he slinked up along Simon's taller frame, or he should have been bothered when he could see the faint dusting of coke under his noes when he turned around to grind full frontal. But fuck, Simon was resigned that the sickly junkie type was his thing for now, even though he knew they only lead to trouble.
And a few more shots into the night left him really not giving a fuck anyway.
At some point they'd moved from the dance floor to a booth, his eyes focusing across the table at the ridiculous kid- Lars, he'd heard him say in a thick Brooklyn accent Simon wasn't entirely sure was real- was either talking a mile a minute or had his nose plugged up with coke. Right now he was concentrating on taking a hit off some strippers ass, laughing at himself and offering up the white powder when he saw Simon staring.
“Hey man, want a bump?”
There was a moment where Simon actually shifted to move around the table, his body moved forward without even a thought, inky black Jasper-like fingers tugging him with promises that everything would feel
so much better, before his mind caught up to his actions and he let the movement propel him upwards and out.
The bathroom was disgusting, but the water felt good against his burning skin. The light in here filtered out green, bounced off the dirty tiles and illuminated his dark bags and strung out eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, but he new that was just his nerves eating away at him. With slippery fingers he scrambled for his lighter and a joint, inhaled, and instantly relaxed- though he knew it was only temporary, he took solace knowing that this still worked.
Back in the main room he caught sight of Jona making a bee-line through the crowds. Something about the furrowed antagonizing brow and uneven gait caught Simon’s attention over the slithering bodies and smell of sex. He’d come to terms with his attraction to the older bartender, he spent many nights making lewd comments over the bar in attempts to get some sort of reaction. But Jona had a wife and a kid, something even Simon knew not to fuck with.
Much.He caught up with Jona just as he was decking the coke kid- Lars- in the face and a few bouncers were dragging him up. He waited idly behind, not one to interfere (the kid probably deserved it anyway, remembering the way he was snorting off the stripers earlier) before slipping up next to Jona with a goofy grin once the scene had settled, “ Whatever that shit was seems more trouble then its worth” He had to lean over and whisper in Jonas ear for him to hear him over the club noises, but Simon preferred the proximity anyway.