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Maya Williams

"What else am I suppose to do?"

0 · 906 views · located in Reality, USA

a character in “Disillusioned.”, as played by Naught

Description

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I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore

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Name ~
"Dont' wear it out." Maya Williams
Age ~
"So what?" 21
Face Claim ~
Taylor Momsen
Role ~
"I just wanted to end the life I didn't want." Girl 2


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Personality ~
"I don't know how to act anymore."

From singing to dancing, and laughing to living life to the fullest; this girl had a passion and that passion was music. She loved it like a mother did a child. She just loved, loved, loved music, it didn't matter what genre and she believed anyone could sing if they's put their heart to it. Maya was the girl who liked fashion she always wanted to wear the latest, skirts, shinnies, khakis, tanks, heels, tennis she wore it all! Never letting anyone let him down, and when they tried she would tell them to piss off. Shrugging things off and keeping her name out of peoples mouth, she wanted to be the girl of influence of life, love, and music. She wanted to inspired others who couldn't find the inspiration because, people kept putting them down. That was who she was, a girl of dream. She had the dreams to be number one on those music charts. She wanted her own fan base. She wanted all those things but, for some reason no one would except her as a whole.

After her hope was just sliced in half by the music industry, she had change she wasn't that girl of dream or hope anymore. Now, she is a girl who would look at everyone as if to tell them to stay away or be ignored. Swearing she would never sing in her life, she is now depressed no one would make her happy like her music did. At first she was in denial, she hated herself for not being perfect enough to be even called a star. Hating her life for that fact, she had the feeling of questioning, she wanted to trade something for her life in music again but, there was no change. No change in her grieving attitude she, didn't want people to see here, she wanted to hide herself in her own sorrow. She didn't want other people telling her that they had told her so and that music wasn't for her, she didn't want to hear all of that.

She had a heart that was strong, that no one could every stab or hurt in any kind of way. Well, again she had a strong heart, now she protects it by being cruel and pushing other s away with words she doesn't mean. Now, she is careless and would walk down the stairs just to fall and roll down the stairs. She isn't capable of protecting herself from dangerous things. She doesn't really care to. Hell is she had a trampoline she'd just jumped on it just to get her hair caught up in the ceiling fan.

Hating herself, wanting to be perfect, she tries to change her appearance and how she dress but, it still doesn't work. She is very determined and very confident in moving forward with her life. She struggles but, she thinks she can get through yeah she thinks. Her mind might think it, and her body might want to do it but, those two things aren't as strong as her heart, and it doesn't believe it.



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Appearance ~
"Look at me.. I disgust myself, don't you think the same?"

Now this girl is beautiful, but she sees herself as a failure. Tall like her dad and looks like her mom, she knew they both were her parents to say the least, she was glad. She was 5'9 and weighed around 165 lbs. Looking like he mom, she has cheeks that her grandma would always squeeze out of habit after seeing her in the longest of times. Her eyes are a cold light blue mixed -from her grandpa- with a mysterious dark green -from her mom-, people tend to just stare into them and wonder what other colors could be discovered. Her skin used to be a warm and peachy color, but over the years it changed slight lighter and it is usually cold when everyone was warm and was warm whenever she was by something warm.

Her legs are long but, perfectly shaped, as she walks down those are the first things a person would notice -if she isn't covering them up. Her arms are long and stop at the top-medium part of her thighs and there are some muscle in them but, not enough to lift a fridge -alone. Her chest is a decent size well, at least to herself it fits for her and she wouldn't change a thing about it. Her stomach looks as if she doesn't have one and a person could she a bit of muscle there if she didn't have it covered up. Waist, she didn't have much but, it was enough to strut her stuff. Now that beautiful hair of hers is long, and a beautiful bleach blonde color, she'd never cut or damage it with highlights and dyes.

She doesn't have a tattoo on her body to cover up the scars from her previous 'attempt' but, those are only on her arms. She has only one piercing and that is on her ears and they could be long short medium it's just depending on how she feels for herself out the moment. Her clothing has changed from sassy, and fabulous, to depressing and not even trying. Is she wasn't dressed up some already knew something was wrong.



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Likes ~
"Eh."
Lilies
Painting her fingernails black
Dogs
Rabbits
Snakes
Being left alone
Her Mother
Her Father
Warm things
Teddy Bears
Knives
Music
Horror movies
Walking at night
Video games
Writing
The summer
Coloring things
Unique things
Trust


Dislikes ~
"Ugh."
Love
Life
Music
Being depressed
Living
Pain
Cutting
Tattoos
People doing too much
Hope
Dreams
Goals
Liars
Backstabbers
People who drive while drunk
Annoying sounds
Fakes
People who act dumb
Winter weather
Hard decisions




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History ~
"Music was my life, I didn't want to let it go." "I lived for a reason, they didn't let me die."

Maya was born into a happy family. Sure they argued and even had horrible life issues; but nothing could tear this family apart. Maya loved music as a kid and would always sing along with any song that came on the little television in the family room they'd spend time in most of the time. Maya knew what her passion and dream would be as she grew up. She wanted to be a singer not for the fame or fortune, but for the feeling and the adventure. Her family was proud of how much she was determined n doing this and they'd support everything she would do for this big dream of hers.

But, a attempt at death on Maya's part, will worry the family and stop them dead in their tracks. As Maya had tried and tried to bring her career up and on the road she'd want it to go, a group of people from the industry and company she was signing up for had told her that she wasn't really singing material. This had hurt Maya and Maya couldn't stand that the people that inspired hr from the beginning had told her that she wasn't right for this just crushed her spirit and heart. It was as if her whole world has came crashing down and began to beat her up and spit and choke on her. But, she had lasted for a couple years as a waitress at a diner.

Then she began to realize that she didn't want to live without the one thing that had kept her going. After going home she didn't even close the door already running into her room and picked up the knife that laid in her bed since last week. She actually had already began the process of thinking if she should keep living knowing that the life she did want to have was then impossible to reach. But, at that moment she didn't want to live it any longer, she didn't want to live the nightmare she called life.

She wasn't even thinking when she had began to cut and not stop. She didn't even think, she just did it. There was no turning back when she had began, she had to finish it. She cut, and cut until she couldn't feel her fingers or hands. She couldn't even feel her arms. It was cold, it felt as if her body was going limp; it did. Falling on the bed she laid there turning her head at a picture of her with her family she was at least glad that the picture would be the last thing she would see before she had died. She actually smiled when her eyes had began to close and it was even hard to breath and then there was darkness.

Maya didn't know how to feel when she had gasped her first breath back from death again, her vision was blurry and all she could hear was her mothers crying and her fathers firm hand on her shoulder. After that day and a couple of week in the hospital her parents knew that she wouldn't handle being left alone again, so they decided to send her to a treatment center where she would get her life back together and become a much healthier person; mentally and emotionally.



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Yeah I’m young, 21, living in a crazy world
But I know the difference between a man and a herp
...
Mommy on the couch, since she was 42
Sacrificing for the kids, cause that’s what mommies do
...
So I smoke my spliff, I spliff it hard
Candi says to stop my voice it’s getting too harsh
...
So I sobered up, and my thoughts they rush
And now I think of you, behind bars

So begins...

Maya Williams's Story