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Ethan Alexander

"I am not overreacting."

0 · 335 views · located in Washington, D.C.

a character in “Don't Panic”, as played by Simple_Imperfections

Description

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"It's better not to think than to be left alone to my thoughts"



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|Name|
Ethan Clark Alexander

|Nickname(s)|
Clark || most people; accepted

|Age|
September 12th || Virgo
21 || Twenty-One

|Race|
Caucasian || 1/2 British & 1/2 Dutch

|Gender|
Cis Male

|Sexual Orientation|
Homosexual || family doesn't know



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|Appearance|
Ethan is very casual. He prefers to be comfortable above everything else. His outfit usually involves flannels, hoodies, t-shirts, and anything else he can just throw on. Ethan tries to avoid eyes on him, so he never dresses up if he can help it. However, when he is forced to attend gatherings for his parents, he cleans up nice. He has a signature black and white suit with a sleek tie and leather shoes. He prefers to never have to wear it and only reserves it for emergencies. Depending on the day, he may wear his contacts over his glasses. Underneath the baggy clothes is a tall, lean figure. He stands at about 5'11" and virtually is only skin, bone, and muscle. Under the beanie, is shaggy, brown hair that he can't seem to keep neat. He usually just covers it or lets it do whatever he wants. He has a smile to die for that makes his eyes chocolate brown eyes light up. Overall Ethan doesn't look like a complete mess, but he isn't really trying either.



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|Personality|
A lot of Ethan's personality is centered around the sheer fact that he was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. His overthinks and overanalyzes every situation. Despite how small and irrelevant the situation to everyone else, Ethan is intensely thinking about it. Unfortunately, those thoughts are never pleasant. They are generally negative and make it seem like the end of the world is near. Ethan has attempted positive thinking and although it works for a while, he usually ends back up in the negative. Unfortunately he cannot keep his negativity to himself and most people deem him pessimistic. Despite his condition, he is friendly. He tries to make friends and put his trust in people, despite how hard it is to do so. On top of all this, he attempts to please other people. He stresses over how people's emotions about him and the situation they may be in together. Ethan may not be happy in his own life, but he tries to make others better no matter what it takes. He has been in toxic friendships and relationships because of this flaw in his friendliness. Ethan is also non-confrontational. No matter how angry he gets, he refuses to fight with anyone. He doesn't raise his voice or even defend himself if he is being targeted. Clark prefers to runaway and just avoid the situation entirely. Although not the healthiest way to live, its all he knows. When he is on his medications, Ethan is more friendly and, more or less, optimistic. He can be more pleasant to be around. But there are some situations where meds aren't enough.



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|History|
Twenty-two years ago, Maria and Thomas Alexander were at a point in their lives where they were ready for children. After a year of trying, Maria finally got pregnant and nine months gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The couple decided they were satisfied with just one child and showered this child in love. As an only child, he was given attention, unconditional love, and anything he wanted. Everyone called him cute and just wanted to hold him and be around him. He was the pride and joy of Mr and Mrs Alexander. They brought him to every function and every event. All the co-workers were in love with him and showered him in gifts whenever he was around. But all of that stopped when he was thirteen.

When he was thirteen years old, the voice arrived. Not just any voice, it was his own voice. His own voice contradicting and questioning everything he did. It made the simplest decision seem as though there was no correct answer and either choice was a bad one. Ethan did not know where the voice and thoughts came from. He did not know how to get rid of them. He did not know how to bring it up to his parents. All he knew is that he couldn't function. His thoughts were running a hundred miles an hour and all of them stressing him out over small things. The thoughts were changing him. He was no longer the happy go lucky kid that The Alexanders would show up. He was scared and nervous about everything. His parents found out about his problem when he had a panic attack in the middle of an office party. Everyone was out to get him, hurt him, and he had to get away. After embarrassing himself and being taken to the ER, he was referred to a child psychologist. At thirteen, Clark figured out when Panic Disorder meant.

His high school years weren't a fun time. He was stressed about everything. Relationships, grades, friendships, sports, college applications, etc. He had a medication to help with his thoughts, but it didn't make them completely go away. It just made it easier to calm down. During this time, he also was forced to see a therapist due to the self-inflicted cuts that his parents noticed. He meets with her and talks about his day and ends up confessing something that Ethan did not mean to bring forward. It was how he found out he was homosexual. Ethan has only come out to the therapist. His parents are devoted Catholics and his thoughts made sure that he knew how awful of an idea it would be to tell his parents as did the new cuts on his arms.

Clark is twenty-one now. He has a better grip of his condition. He has a stronger medication and attends therapy twice a week. He graduated from college with a degree in education. Currently, he is a first-grade school teacher. It is a low-stress environment and doesn't trigger any problems. Ethan lives on his own, but his parents are still a big influence in his life. They still want him to attend events and parties as a special guest. His parents are respectable business owners and he would rather not ruin their reputation by not showing up. Ethan still hasn't told his parents that he is a homosexual and he doesn't plan on it any time soon. At the moment, he is fine with how things are going with his life. He does have the occasional breakdowns, but he deals with it better.




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|Face Claim|
Dylan O'Brien

|Dialogue Color Code|
#FFAC33

|Writer|
Simple_Imperfections

So begins...

Ethan Alexander's Story

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Music Therapist ✧ Hex: 400E15 」
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"I'm sorry Lu, I just can't today." Kairo repeated, his quiet steps taking him down another flight of stairs and through the spacious, empty hallway that led to his favorite place on earth. He could hear his fiance's annoyed huff on the other side of the call, followed by a beat of silence before her soft voice came again. "What's so important that you can't spend an afternoon with your fiance?" Kai remained silent, focusing his attention on opening the large metal door. His phone rested between his ear and his shoulder as he struggled to respond to her. "I'm just-" he pushed the heavy door open, the smell of freshly polished floors hitting his nostrils, before taking hold of the phone once again. "I'm meeting someone new today. It will be his first time and I don't want to appear unprofessional." he explained, tossing his bag on the ground with a thud.

"Ugh, another nutcase?" Kai rolled his eyes, his free hand tugging at the heavy red curtains to let in some sunlight. "Lu you know how I feel about you talking about my students that way." he muttered, a subtle frown settling on his otherwise peaceful features. Another sigh came from Lucy's end before Kairo spoke again. "I'll make it up to you soon, I promise." after a short pause the girl hummed before responding with a "You better." a soft chuckle left the dancer's lips before he and his fiance said their goodbyes and he was all alone in the spacious dance studio.

His eyes scanned the room to make sure nothing was out of place. This space, though empty and often quiet, had always been Kairo's favorite place to be. Not only because of what he was able to do here, but because of what it represented. A safe haven. A place for people to come and leave their worries and problems behind. A place of relief and self-love. That's what he intended it to be from the moment he arrived at the university and that's how he intended on keeping it. His dark eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. It wouldn't be long before his new student, as he preferred to call the patients, arrived. In the meantime he could start warming up. He walked over to the set of speakers and laptop and searched for the perfect melody to ease him into the day as he waited for Ethan.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: 400E15 」
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Kai watched attentively as Ethan took a seat on the empty couch. He was still visibly nervous, and a little tense to put it lightly, but he was taking baby steps and that's what mattered. He waited for the boy's answer, and though he wasn't sure what he was expecting, it certainly wasn't what he got. Kai took a few seconds of silence to go over the song's basic melody in his head before responding. "Good choice." he complimented first before strumming a few chords, taking note in the back of his mind the kind of music that Ethan probably preferred. His song choice in particular, was a very calm and subtle melody, ideal for relaxing. So the dancer's fingers began to pluck away at the guitar strings, opting to exclude the lyrics at first, and let the soft melody echo throughout the studio.

He played a few seconds of the acoustic instrumental before coming to a slow pause. "Does that sound about right?" he asked, his gaze switching from his guitar strings to Ethan. His features remained serene as he waited for the boy's approval, and once he got it, he smiled softly and began to play again. This time however, he included the lyrics. He'd never had any vocal training, but had been lucky enough to find that he could actually hold a note. For this song in particular, his own voice happened to fall within the same register as the original singer, making it easier both on his throat and on Ethan's ears. He sang through the first verse and chorus, allowing Ethan to just listen in silence in hopes of easing his nerves, even if just a fraction of a percent. Before continuing, however, he glanced in the boy's direction to examine his reaction. If he seemed to be enjoying it, Kai would happily continue. However, if not he would have to find a different approach. The first day was always the most difficult, as he attempted to get a feel for the patient, their personality, their likes and dislikes. For a while it would have to be trial and error, but soon enough he would get it right.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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Kairo played out the melody and sang the words to the best of his abilities. The guitar chords filled the entire studio, slowly coming down to a soft hum as the song ended. Ethan's eyes were closed, and perhaps Kai was enjoying this a bit too much. He wasn't sure if it was the sound of the guitar or the song itself that had calmed the boy's nerves, but he didn't want to ruin the peace by speaking or asking him any more questions. Instead, he laced one song with another. Luckily the ending of Lego House lent itself to seamlessly lead into the following guitar chords. Considering Kairo had written this song himself, it went without saying that Ethan wouldn't know it. Not to mention he'd never played it before, at least not for a patient. He'd played it for Lucy once, and though she complimented him on it, she didn't give it much of a reaction. Perhaps it wasn't a top 40's hit, but it was soothing enough to fit the situation.

The original melody was by piano, but it was easy enough to play on guitar strings. As the first note echoed throughout the room, Kairo wondered if it was even a good idea to play this song, but it was a bit to late now. He had to finish what he started. "This life has twists and turns, but it's the sweetest mystery...when you're with me-" he continued on, avoiding eye contact with Ethan. He didn't want to do anything that would make the boy feel pressured, so he focused solely on the guitar. It was a short song, and it came to an end much faster than the previous one. Finally, he lowered his hands and raised his head to look at Ethan, letting a soft smile grace his lips. "Sorry." he began "I love music so much sometimes i get carried away. But I'm also a big fan of Ed." he added, alluding back tot he first song he had played. He hoped Ethan had liked his self composed song and lyrics, but he wasn't going to ask him like he had asked Lucy.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan was lost in Kai's soothing voice. He had a knack for singing. There was hardly a noticeable difference between him singing and the way that Ed Sheeran usually sings the song. The last time he could remember someone singing to him was his mother when he was around seven years old. It was before the panic attacks, the nervousness, and the medications. It was when him and his parents got along perfectly. At this age, he showed a strong fear of lightning and thunder. One this particular day, the lightning was bright and the thunder was deafening. Ethan was under his bed, thinking that hiding would help. It didn't. His mother found him and crawled under the bed with her terrified son. She cuddled him and attempted to soothe him with words alone. It worked for a moment but the lightening only became brighter and the thunder became louder. Ethan buried his face into his mother, body shivering in fear. Then out of a nowhere, his mother began to sing. Ethan doesn't remember the specific and couldn't quote any of the words. All he knows, is that was the calmest he had ever felt. Kai's singing was triggering that memory. Ethan hadn't decided if that was good or bad thing yet.

Ethan knew Lego House was coming to an end because he had listened to it a thousand different times. He had memorized all the words and the melody. He was expecting Kai to stop and speak up. But that isn't what happened. Instead a new song was started. Ethan had never heard of this song before. Ethan opened his eyes and looked over the music therapist. "This life has twists and turns, but it's the sweetest mystery...when you're with me-" The song was beautiful. He couldn't take his eyes off the man in front of him as he sang his lovely song. Sadly, the song ended. No...keep playing...keep singing.. It took a lot for Ethan not to say that out loud. "Sorry." Ethan raised an eyebrow, confused to why the therapist was apologizing. "Th-that's okay. I really liked it. You sing very well." He complimented, returning the smile. "Did you write that yourself? I had never heard it before."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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Kairo's gaze searched Ethan's feature for any sign of discomfort or panic, but there were none. Not like before, not like when he had first walked in and looked like he was seconds away from jumping out the nearest window. That was good, it meant that slowly, step by step, Kairo was already managing to make him feel a bit more at home. "Th-that's okay. I really liked it. You sing very well." the dancer merely smiled and nodded to acknowledge the compliment, but didn't speak to ensure Ethan continued his thought process. "Did you write that yourself? I had never heard it before." Kairo's eyebrows raised slightly at the sudden question. He wondered what had brought Ethan to immediately think he had written it? Did he look like the type to write songs, or was it simply so bad that he could only assume it was "homemade"?

"Ah, yes, I did actually." he said cautiously, watching for Ethan's body language. He let his elbows rest on his guitar, leaning back against the couch to take a more relaxed position. "The original was actually on the piano, but I can't exactly carry a piano around with me." he joked, adding in a soft half smile. "So I adapted it to guitar...it usually helps me when I'm feeling stressed or anxious." he added the last part, not only to take away from the spotlight on Ethan, but also to give him a reminder that Kairo, too, was human. He too felt stressed, anxious, scared, and at times even useless. Without using the cliche phrase, "you are not alone", he wanted to let Ethan that he truly wasn't. Not anymore.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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"Ah, yes, I did actually." Ethan was thoroughly impressed that Kairo wrote a song. There is a certain level of discipline and patience one must have in order to do such a task. Ethan can barely sit still to complete a task without wandering thoughts and doubt. But that has more to do with his severe anxiety than anything else. Ethan was trying to imagine what would be like to write a song and be able to sing it. He was never given the gift of song, not like his mother and not like Kairo. But every now and then he will hum something because it makes him comfortable. "The original was actually on the piano, but I can't exactly carry a piano around with me." Ethan added piano player that made his therapist so talented.

"So I adapted it to guitar...it usually helps me when I'm feeling stressed or anxious." Ethan raised his eyebrow at Kairo. His therapist got anxious? He was wondering what kind of things that he got nervous about. Probably about his job? Or his bills? At least he was functioning and trying to help other people. Ethan was just trying to keep his thoughts from making him kill himself. If all he worried about her bills and his job, that would actually be better. "Well it was a really good song. You should sing during all of our sessions..." Ethan stated, shyly running his fingers through his hair. He glanced over at the clock and then back at his therapist. "Th-this was fun...but I think I should go." It was weird having to be with someone so new. He just wanted to go home and relax.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

It was the same argument all over again. Kairo had heard it many times from his mother and father, something he had worked hard to get through. What he hadn't expected was to hear it from his future wife. The person that was meant to support him, to love who he was and what he did. Her words of disapproval rang through his ears like a war cry, it made his insides turn in discomfort. "Lucy I don't want to talk about this anymore" his throat felt dry, his voice coming in raspy huffs. He leaned against the dance studio wall, eyes focused on the door across from him. Ethan could be walking in any minute. Kairo would be damned if he let him find him in this state.

"You never want to talk about it, Kairo! Can't you understand I'm trying to help you?" a heavy sigh escaped the dancer's lips, his eyes falling to the polished floor. "You know this job is not going to take you anywhere! Why are you so damn stubborn?" The knot in his throat grew heavier with every word that came out of his fiance's mouth. He remained silent, allowing her to carry on with her belittling words, nit-picking at every little fault she could find in regards to his career, just like his parents had done. Eventually she came to a halt, demanding to know if he had been listening. Which in all honesty, he hadn't. Not that she had said anything he hadn't heard before/ "Lucy, I'm really busy right now. Did you call me just to insult my job and my patients or do you actually have something important to say?" The other end of the phone line was silent for a moment, and Kairo took in a gulp of air, mildly surprised with his own response.

"Kai...I just want you to be successful because I love you"

"I have a session I need to get ready for. Goodbye Lucy." he could hear her protest coming through the speaker right before pushing the end button. The room fell silent, and Kairo's hands fell limply to his sides, an exasperated sigh leaving his body. The backs of his eyes had begun to burn, and the knot in his throat was still very much present. Had the situation been different, he would have cancelled all his appointments and spent the afternoon alone in the studio gathering his thoughts, but that wasn't an option right now. Ethan was seconds away from walking in. Not only was it too late to cancel, but he truly didn't want to. Ethan needed him...and quite frankly, he really needed Ethan right about now. Rather than a patient or student, the boy had become a friend...a good friend. AT least Kairo liked to think so. And Ethan seemed to be at a point where he trusted Kairo, even if just a little bit.

A loud huff echoed throughout the studio as Kairo pushed himself upright, taking a few long sips from his water bottle and setting it back in the fridge. [i]"Get it together Kairo..."[/i\ his eyes remained closed for a few seconds while he simply breathed at a steady, slow rhythm, and felt his muscles beginning to relax, opening his eyes again only when he heard the studio door being pushed open and shortly after, Ethan's face came into view. The dancer immediately smiled, pushing all of his personal problems to the back of his mind as if nothing had ever happened.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan was actually a bit excited to see Kairo today. He was starting to enjoy the sessions they had. It was different from his sessions with Marissa. When he was with her, it was very formal. She would ask him a generic question and he would answer vaguely. Then she would ask if there was a deeper meaning and then with her mental manipulation, Ethan would confess to basically everything that hew as feeling for the past week. This was actually one of his better weeks. Clark managed to get all the work he needed done for work. He spent some time with his parents which came with its own anxiety, but it wasn't anything that he couldn't handle. Overall, he was having a good week. This was rare and he was trying to enjoy it while he could. Part of enjoying his week was arriving on time to his music therapy session. Spending as much time as he could Kai would be the best part of his week.

Since meeting with Kai on a weekly basis, Ethan has opened up to him rather quickly. He doesn't completely trust the man yet, keeping some of his dark thoughts to himself. But for the most part, he tries to talk to him. What makes his session so different from Marissa, is that it is informal. And they have more of a conversation and that eases Ethan's nerves a lot. He made his way into the dance studio. Ethan kindly waved hello to the receptionist like he did every time he walked in. He made his way through the halls and down the stairs. He pushed the heavy studio doors open and glanced around the room. Ethan quickly locked eyes with Kai, who was across the room. "Hi. I'm on time, right?" He was sure that he was, but he could just have easily arrived early due to the eagerness of wanting to be at this session. "I-I wrote down some songs I thought we could listen to today.." Despite his new comfort around Kai, he still got a bit nervous around the male. Ethan hasn't admitted to anyone that he had a minor crush on his music therapist and he doesn't plan on telling anyone anytime soon. "W-we should start with A-adorn by Miguel and th-then Novacane by Frank Ocean.." He moved to sit on the couch. "I know they aren't um new, but they uh soothe me."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

The moment Ethan walked in, it's as if all of Kairo's problems suddenly vanished. This had happened to him before with a few of his students, but never quite to this extent. The boy's question about whether he was on time or not made the therapist smile a bit and he immediately nodded, letting Ethan speak as he made his own way over to the mini fridge."I-I wrote down some songs I thought we could listen to today.." this made Kairo smile even more. The past few sessions, Ethan had been opening up to him a lot more. The fact that he prepared beforehand for this session meant that at the very least he was enjoying it, and Kairo could only hope that it was helping him even if just a little bit.

"Old, but gold" the man said after listening to all of Ethan's suggestions. He grabbed a couple of bottles of sweet tea he had been keeping for when Ethan came back as well as a couple of nags of kettle corn. He remembered Ethan briefly mentioning this was his go to snack, so he made sure to stock up on it this time around. He also bought a small box of doughnuts for himself, and Ethan if he so happened to like them. He pushed a small round table with his knee until it reached the couches, covering it with all of the snacks he had in his hands. "Personally I really like Frank Ocean." he added before taking a seat on the couch next to him. They had progressed from sitting on different couches to sitting on the same couch just a few feet apart. It might not seem like much, but to Kairo it was a sign of progress. "Here" he said, handing Ethan a bottle of sweet tea as well as taking one for himself.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan settled more on the couch. Kai went to get them snacks and a drink. It was a normal part of their sessions. They would eat snacks, listen to music, and talk. Ethan did most of the talking, but he was becoming more and more okay with that. He hasn't revealed anything that felt too personal or too revealing. He has admitted to loving kettle corn and sweet tea. They were his go to snack and drink. Kai seemed to like it too since he would have it stocked for their sessions. 'Or he was just using the snack to manipulate you into getting comfortable with him.' He shook the thought away, as he took hold of the sweet tea bottle. "We can listen to Frank Ocean first...I actually have some other songs I like by him.." He added in. He opened up the bottle and took a sip from it. Kai settled down next to him. It was a big mental step for Ethan to finally start sitting next to his therapist. It was a big mental step and there are still some days where he wants to sit on the other couch. But Ethan forces himself to sit next to him for two reasons. One. He is trying not to be afraid of confessing things to Kairo or of him in general. Two. He has a crush on the older male and just wants to be close to him. Ethan ate a few pieces of kettle corn. "Let me start telling you about my day, before I get too scared." He admitted with a shy smile. "It was actually one of my uh better weeks. For the first time in a long time I felt like things were actually going my way." Ethan added with a brighter smile before eating more kettle corn.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

Kairo watched Ethan's movements with both curiosity and compassion. To say that the therapist had developed a huge soft spot for his student would be a big understatement. Just watching the boy carry himself so much more casually and comfortably compared to the first day he came in made Kai want to smile. It may not have felt like big steps to Ethan, but Kai was certainly taking notice. The boy suggested listening to Frank Ocean first, and Kairo began to reach for his guitar, ready to follow along to whatever Ethan suggested, however, he was surprised yet again when Ethan volunteered to talk about his day. Kairo's brows lifted slightly, accompanied by an approving smile as he took a sip of his drink. "I'm all ears." he said, giving the boy a cue to continue.

"It was actually one of my uh better weeks. For the first time in a long time I felt like things were actually going my way." that statement alone brought a bright smile to Kairo's face as he immediately gave Ethan a playful thumbs up. Kairo knew that the way he treated and acted around his patients would be considered "unprofessional" by just about any other therapist out there, but he also knew that this was the most effective way of talking to them and getting them to oopen up to him that he could find. "That's amazing, Clark." he finally responded, leaning forward ever-so-slightly. "Seeing you walk in here with that cute smile of yours is officially the highlight of my day." he half teased, half stated. It wasn't a lie, by any means. His day had been far from great, but seeing Ethan so happy made his worries vanish.

However, that didn't last long at all. "Kairo, why aren't you answering your phone?" The therapist' gaze shot up at the speed of a bullet the moment he heard the familiar voice and the echo of the double doors opening and shutting closed again. "Lucy...why are you here?" taking one look at Ethan was enough to tell Kairo that his fiance's unexpected visit was already making him uncomfortable. "I'm in the middle of a session, you can't just barge in like that." he could feel the irritation bubbling in his stomach and in the back of his throat, but for Ethan's sake more than anything, he kept his movements subtle and his voice as steady as he possibly could. "We can talk about this later-"

"Oh no you don't, Kairo Choi, I'm your fiance for Christ's sake, you can't just ignore me." Kairo's lips pressed into a thin line to keep from yelling something he would later regret. He took in a breath of air, releasing it slowly, before attempting to respond. "I would never ignore you Lu...but this isn't the time or the place to talk about our personal lives. So...can you please leave?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Kairo validating Ethan's good week, made him feel good inside. From some of their other sessions, the anxious male has truly horrific days. There was even one session in which he had been mute the entire time and just cried. It was a very interesting session. So to know that having a good week made the therapist happy, meant that he really cared about how he was. Not that Marissa didn't care, she just didn't look like she did. Ethan thinks she takes her professionalism with him way too seriously. "Seeing you walk in here with that cute smile of yours is officially the highlight of my day." Clark couldn't help the small blush that came to his cheeks. He ran his fingers through his hair and glanced away for a second in attempt to hide it.

He thinks my smile is cute! Should I tell him I think his smile is cute too...not that is bad. He is my therapist. I shouldn't even think he is cute... He took a sip of his water. "I-I'm glad we are both having good days.." He commented. But he would quickly realize that he spoke too soon. The large studio doors opened and slammed close. The sound echoed throughout the studio along with the voice of a woman. "Lucy...why are you here?" The woman had a name. Lucy. Ethan was very confused. He has never had someone interrupt his sessions like this. He didn't know what to do. In a strange way, he felt like he was intruding. He needed to get away. Get out. That woman is his finance. She knows you like her husband. Now she is mad. Go! Without saying anything, he just grabbed his things and stood up. "I uh..umm..bye!" He just bolted out of the dance studio, letting the heavy doors slam behind him.

Ethan could feel his hear his heart beating. It felt like it was right in his ear. The secretary watched him as he headed out the front door and out onto the street. The sidewalks were covered with people and Ethan felt like he couldn't catch his breath. He stumbled back until he hit the wall and then he just slid to the ground. He was breathing deeply and trying to ignore his thoughts. How could you crush on a engaged man? He is never going to want you? Lucy will always come first. It's your fault the session ended. It's your fault she is mad.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi
  1. possible duplicate content

    by SleepingInTheGardens
  2. possible duplicate content

    by SleepingInTheGardens

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

As much as Kairo attempted to keep his cool, Lucy was slowly using up all his patience. He prayed that she would leave in peace, otherwise he might explode in front of Ethan and that is the last thing the boy needed to see. He heard some shuffling behind him and quickly switched his attention from Lucy to Ethan just in time to see him getting to his feet and gathering his things. "I uh..umm..bye!" and just like that, the boy ran out. Of course, Kairo's first instinct was to run after him, but he felt a hand latch onto his arm and spin him back around.

"Where do you think you're going? Just let the freak leave, we're not finished here." Kairo felt every muscle in his body tighten, and a surge of anger unlike anything he'd ever felt before run through him. He'd had enough for today.

"Let go of me." he almost growled, bringing a shocked expression to the woman's face. She slowly released his arm, taking a half-step back. Without another word, the dancer ran out of the studio in the same direction Ethan had gone, grabbing his phone and keys on the way out, and ignoring every call and plea that came from behind him. He ran down the hall and out the front doors, his head twisting in every direction expecting to see Ethan waiting for the bus or maybe even climbing into a cab, but there was no sign of him anywhere. It wasn't until he turned to head back inside, set on giving Lucy a piece of his mind, that he notice a familiar face crouched down on the floor against a nearby wall. A mix of emotions washed over Kairo, but mainly guilt and a little bit of anger.

The therapist immediately approached the boy, crouching down in front of him so that they were at eye level. "Hey..." he spoke calmly, but loud enough to be heard over the crowd of people. He immediately realized all those unfamiliar faces walking by were probably not helping the situation, so he gently cupped Ethan's face, his hands serving as some sort of blinders so that Ethan could see only Kairo's face and no one else. "It's okay...just breathe...I'm here." there wasn't much he could do out here in the middle of the street, but he hoped that his words and his being there helped at least a little bit.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Despite closing his own eyes to avoid seeing the people on the street, Ethan could feel their eyes on him. He was breathing hard and fast and he could feel sweat dripping down his neck. He didn't want to be here anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and walk away. He was truly paralyzed and that was making it worse. Get up before someone calls the police on you for loitering. Get up before Kai's wife comes out and yells at you. Get up. GET UP. GET UP! His heartbeat still sounded as though it was in his ears and his face was flushed red. He felt pathetic and small. Clark couldn't believe that he hadn't be able to get far away like he wanted. All the progress he was making and all the changes to his medications felt like it didn't matter. Because he always ended up here. Curled up and in need of saving.

You are worthless. Everyone knows it. Marissa knew it. Your Parents know it. Your co-workers know it. Your elementary kid students know it. And now..Kairo knows it.

"Hey..." Ethan opened his eyes and immediately recognized the brown eyes staring back at him belonged to his music therapist. He was mostly confused by his presence. Maybe he had died and this was his heaven. Ethan quickly noticed the area around Kairo and realized he was still on the street. Clark shook his head. "I-I-I.." He couldn't even bring himself to say words since he was breathing so hard. The small attempt to speak had made him light-headed. He just shook his head again. Kairo them took hold of his face and shielded his peripheral vision. All Ethan could see was Kairo. "It's okay...just breathe...I'm here." He took a moment to examine his features, momentarily getting lost in his eyes. His heart rate was still rather fast, but he could no longer hear it in his ears and his breathing had slowed a bit. "I-I-I need to get out of here...t-take me out of here..." Was all he could bring himself to say.

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Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

Something inside Kairo snapped the moment he saw Ethan's terrified eyes. Something between anger towards Lucy, the cause of all this, and the need to protect Ethan from the world around them. It's not like this was the first time one of his students had a panic attack, and as far as Kairo was concerned it certainly wouldn't be the last time. And yes, he cared about all of his students, in the kind of way that made him want to fix all of their problems and see them smile, genuinely smile, everyday. But, with Ethan it was something entirely different. Perhaps this was something he wasn't meant to be feeling, but looking at the boy right now with such a scared and broken expression on his face, Kai wanted nothing more than to shield him from the rest of the world, fight off anything and anyone that could possibly hurt him to prevent this from ever happening again. He knew this was an irrational wish. There was no possible way he could protect Ethan every single second of every minute of every hour but...damn did he wish he could.

He knew the rational, professional way of handling this. He would help Ethan up, find him a cab, make sure he had enough money for the ride and send him home to calm down. But there was no way in hell he was going to do that. Call him unprofessional but there was only one thing he could do now. "Alright..." he said, finally letting go of Ethan's face, though he maintained eye contact to prevent the boy's eyes from wandering. "Let's go." with that, while still crouching down to Ethan's eyes level, Kai held out his hand for the boy to take. He wouldn't be going anywhere until he knew Ethan was somewhere safe and sound. He didn't give much of an explanation of where exactly they were going, so before Ethan could ask, Kai spoke again. "Just trust me." he added a slight nod and a warm smile in hopes that Ethan would understand that right now, rather than being his therapist, Kai just wanted to be someone he could feel safe with.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan needed to be far away from here. If there was anytime that he could use a super power this would be it. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to fly away. He wanted to run super fast in the opposite direction of the studio. It was too much. This feeling was overwhelming. Although Kairo's presence was helping, it wasn't calming his nerves as much as it should. Clark was expecting his therapist to do the professional thing. Call him a cab and making sure he got home safely so he could deal with the anxiety. Kai let go his face and the overwhelming feeling of being watched slowly crept back up, but he continued to hold eye contact. All he could think about how easy it was to get lost in them. "Let's go." Clark raised an eyebrow at Kai. Where would they be headed? He is just going to send you home so that he can be with his wife. His thoughts never ceased to make him feel small.

He wanted to ask where they were headed and even insist that he could make it there are in his own. But Kai must have seen that coming, because all he respond with was "Just trust me." In any other situation, Ethan would have said no. And he would have figured found some inner strength to runaway from him like he does from everyone. But this was different. Ethan wanted to go with Kai. Just being around him was making him feel better and he wanted to have that feeling. Clark needed that feeling. With a small nod, he slowly managed to push himself off the ground. He felt a bit light headed as he was on his own two feet, leaning against the wall for some support. "I-I-I t-trust you.." He stated, just in case that wasn't clear before.

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Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

A part of Kai thought maybe Ethan would push him away, ask him to leave or just leave him alone. And honestly, he wouldn’t blame him if he did, after all it had been Kairo’s fiancΓ© that caused all this mess, and in some way it had been Kairo’s fault too for letting her get away with him. The therapist watched Ethan for a moment, trying to guess what he would do. After a beat of silence, the boy stood up. Kai immediately followed suit. His thought that Ethan was agreeing to go with him was confirmed when the boy spoke, placing his trust in Kai. The therapist smiled softly, the fact that Ethan trusted him now to this degree brought an odd feeling to his stomach. A good odd feeling, but still odd.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, Kairo took hold on Ethan’s hand, giving him a soft nod before guiding him along. They quickly crossed the street, Kai looking back every chance he could to make sure Ethan was doing okay. He kept a firm hold of his hand as some form of reassurance. Finally, they made it to Kali’s car. The man unlocked the doors, opening the passenger seat for Ethan to get in before walking to the other side and sliding into the driver’s seat. Once the doors were closed and the outside noise had been silenced, Kai looked over at Ethan, every bit of concern still on his face. He wanted to apologize, to tell Ethan that it was okay and that he would never let something like that happen again, but this wasn’t the time nor the place.

After placing a comforting hand on Ethan’s, Kairo started his car and immediately drove out of the school’s parking lot. He thought about taking Ethan to his apartment, but there was a chance that Lucy would find them there. He also thought of taking him to his own home but that would make it hard for Kai to look after him as he wouldn’t know how to move around. The only place left was his little studio apartment. It was set on the outskirts of the city. Very quiet and calm. A place Kairo used when he needed to rest or a getaway from everything and everyone. A place not even Lucy nor his parents knew existed, almost like a safe haven. That’s exactly what Ethan needed right now.

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Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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There was a few moments between them that resembled a silent understanding. It was almost like they had come to the same realization: this level of trust was beyond the typical therapist-patient relationship. Ethan wasn't exactly sure what that meant for Kairo, but for him it was going to be a new experience. He doesn't trust easily and he doesn't make new friends. The only people he talks too, that he isn't also paying, is his parents and one of his colleagues. Other than that, he spends a lot of time alone with his thoughts. But after spending time with the music therapist and now being this vulnerable with him was completely overwhelming. Though he wasn't given time to think about it. Kai was moving quickly. Before he knew it, he was being moved through the crowded streets.

What about Lucy? Where are we going to go? She will know! Those thoughts just plagued his mind as he continued to following his therapist. Some part of him knew that this was a bad idea. Running away together. It felt wrong. His thoughts didn't refrain from telling him that this might have been wrong. But he couldn't stop his feet. He couldn't stop himself from getting into the passenger seat and putting on his seatbelt. Ethan placed his hands in his lap and attempted to take deep breaths. Don't do this! You don't know where you are going. Lucy will find you. HIS FINACÉ WILL FIND YOU! So loud. His thoughts were so loud.

Clark didn't hesitate to turn on the radio with a shaky hand. He flipped through several stations before he landed on a pop station. He didn't care for the specific song that was playing, which happens to be God is Woman by Ariana Grande, he just needed it to be loud enough to drown out the thoughts in his head. "Wh-where are we going?" He questioned, not hiding his worry.

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Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

As he drove, Kairo could only think of one thing. Why was he doing this? Why was he going through so much trouble, just so Ethan could feel better? Yes, he was his therapist and, in a way, making him feel better was his job. However, that normally didn’t include running away with the patient and taking them somewhere as personal as his private studio. Maybe it was guilt, and Kairo did feel guilty because he was part of the problem, but that didn’t explain the pain in his heart that he felt when he looked at Ethan. There was only so much a therapist was supposed to do, and this wasn’t part of it. ”Wh-where are we going?” Somewhere along the ride, Ethan had turned on the radio, probably in hopes of focusing on something other than his thoughts. Kai kept his eyes mostly on the road, though he’d steal a couple of glances here and there to make sure the boy was okay. ”Somewhere safe.” he answered simply, hoping Ethan trusted him enough to know Kairo wouldn’t take him anywhere he wouldn’t want to be.

The drive lasted about fifteen minutes until finally Kairo’s car pulled into a small apartment complex parking lot. The place itself radiated peace, surrounded by various gardens, shaded by large green trees and built right next to a small pond. The building itself was painted white with red accents on the windows and doors, and there were very few cars in the parking lot. Kairo had loved this place from the moment he saw it, and decided to keep its existence a secret from everyone in case he ever needed a place to escape to. ”We’re here.” he said, putting his car into Park. He took a moment to look at Ethan, wondering what he was thinking, and decided to take a shot and calming some of the worries he most likely had. ”This is where my personal studio is.” he began to explain, pointing over at one of the windows closest to the pond. ”I come here whenever I need a break from everything…nobody knows it exists, not even my parents or my fiancé…” his words trailed off, not wanting to bring up Lucy at the moment but finding it necessary to let Ethan know that she would not be coming here to bother him. With that, he stepped out of the driver’s seat and made his way over to Ethan’s door, opening it up but not making any gestures to bring him out. ”You can stay here as long as you need to…or, if you’d rather not I can take you home.”

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Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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”Somewhere safe.” Ethan was torn at the moment. Part of him was more anxious being in the car with therapist headed in this unknown direction. Every horror movie he had ever watched flashed before his eyes. This is how people ended up killed. They were with a stranger headed to some strange place where no one could find them. If this were any other situation, Ethan would have forced Kairo to pull over and he would have walked home. But it was Kairo. That was why the other part of him was glad to be alone with this man. He radiated safety and comfort, both of which Ethan needed at this exact moment. So he just nodded and looked ahead. He shut his eyes tight and just listened to the songs that played on the radio for the remainder of the ride.

After several minutes, the car came to a stop. Ethan opened his eyes and glanced around through the windows. They were in a parking lot connected to an apartment complex. He has never been on this side of town before so we wasn't exactly sure where they were. Is that his apartment? Does he share it with his fiancΓ©? DOES SHE KNOW THEY ARE HERE? His worry must have been on his face because Kairo took a seocnd to explain the location. ”I come here whenever I need a break from everything…nobody knows it exists, not even my parents or my fiancé…” Kairo's secret hideout. It was nice that he had a place where he could escape to, but then again why is he escaping from the people that are supposed to be supporting him. I have no room to talk..." Ethan is always escaping and hiding. It's the only thing he can do and control. There is comfort knowing that when he locks his front door, he is away from the crazy world.

Clark tracked Kai as he walked around the car and opened up the door. Home? No. No. Not home. Going home wasn't safe. It wouldn't fix anything. Not in a way that Marissa would approve of. "N-no. I-I need to stay with y-you." Supervision was mandatory during states like this. The scars on his upper arms were still healing after the last time he was like this. Slowly he made his way out of the car, arms wrapped around himself. "Lead the way.."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

Kairo knew taking Ethan home and leaving him alone was not a good idea in any form or shape, but he also didn't want Ethan to feel as if he was obligated to stay here. The last thing he wanted was to force Ethan to do anything under such stressful situations. He watched as the boy nervously stepped out of the car and let him respond before beginning to walk towards his apartment. He kept a watchful eye on him, glancing over his shoulder every chance he got to make sure he was still following. Eventually, they made it to Kairo's door, which was opened with a swift turn of the key to reveal a small yet cozy space with a small kitchen, bathroom, living room and even a bed for the nights Kairo worked late and had to spend the night. He let Ethan step inside before shutting the door and turning on the lights.

The room was quickly illuminated as Kairo turned on his heels to face Ethan. A slight frown took over Kairo's lips, his eyes falling to the ground before moving back up. Half of him wanted to engulf Ethan in a tight hug, as a way of reassuring him that Kai was here for anything he needed. But he also knew Ethan was only just getting used to physical contact from strangers. Granted, Kairo wasn't a stranger at this point, but he still wasn't sure if Ethan considered him a friend. There was a few seconds of hesitation before Kairo decided to take a leap of faith. He moved a single step forward, wrapping both arms around the younger boy and gently resting his chin on top of the other's head. He embrace was warm and comforting, but light enough to allow Ethan to break free in case he began to feel uncomfortable. "I'm sorry..." he finally spoke, letting out a short breath. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that..." there wasn't much he could do now, what was done was done, but he felt the need to apologize endlessly because he knew Lucy never would.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan trailed behind Kairo silently. He kept his arms around himself as they walked. He really wished that he had his headphones. He doesn't particularly enjoy walking around the streets without music. It blocks out his thoughts and he also doesn't have to hear the whispers of people around him. For the most part people don't whisper about him, but his brain has a twisted way of making it seem like everyone around him is out to get him. Headphones and loud music counteracts those thoughts. But he didn't have that at the moment. Ethan's silence was just him trying to focus on just following Kairo. Luckily, it didn't take very long before they were in the studio. Slowly, he made his way inside and glanced around once the lights were turned on. The door locked behind him and Ethan tensed up. He was in a new place and now he was kind of trapped here. Deep breath..deep breath. Kairo is not trying to kill you.

His home was extremely cozy despite how small. He could understand why this was a safe haven for him. It gave a feeling of warmth and Ethan had only been in here for several seconds. What he really wanted to know was why Kai even needed this safe haven. But it wasn't his place to ask. For a moment, the two of them just stood before each other in silence. Clark didn't know what to say or what to do. It was like the first time he had met his therapist. He stood there in his spot, not making any moves to get comfortable. Seconds later, Kai made the first move. Ethan was engulfed in a hug before he could even protest. His body still tense during the beginning of this hug. "I'm sorry..." Sorry? He was sorry for the panic attack that Ethan had. "N-n-no. Don't apologize. Y-you didn't do anything. It w-wasn't your fault." Ethan wrapped his arms around his therapist's waist.

Why am I hugging him? He has a fiancΓ©? Why do I like the hug? Let him go! He eventually pulled from the hug, taking a safe step backwards. He needed a safe distance from this man. At least at the moment. "C-Can I have some water...please?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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γ€Œ Kairo Choi ✧ 26 ✧ Location: Dance Studio ✧ Hex: #400E15 」
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"You don't need someone to complete you, you only need someone to accept you."

Just before Kairo decided to end the hug, Ethan returned it. It was an unexpected way for him to respond, but still very welcomed. As small as it may seem, it showed that Ethan not only trusted him a bit more, but he also wasn't upset with him because of what happened. Which he reinforced with his words. Kairo knew it wasn't entirely his fault, but hw also felt a bit responsible for it. On the off chance that his apology made Ethan feel just a tiny bit better, he decided to give it a shot.

The hug ended quickly, which was fine by Kai. He hadn't expected much from the boy in the first place. "C-Can I have some water...please?" the man nodded with a slight smile as he stepped toward his kitchen. "Of course." On his way over, he picked up the tv remote and turned it on. It was a bit too quiet inside the apartment and Kairo knew at this point that Ethan did not like that. The device was switched on and immediately Kairo navigated towards his music apps. These days it's really the only thing he used the TV for. He never had time to sit and watch it, and when he did he was always too exhausted to and ended up falling asleep. Once navigated to Pandora, he let the stations play on shuffle, not looking for any specific artist or song but only making sure Ethan had something to listen to. "You can have a seat, lay down...whatever you need. Make yourself at home here." he added as he set the remote down.

The current song's soft melody slowly took over the small apartment, making even Kairo himself feel more relaxed. He opened up the small refrigerator, taking out a bottle of water for Ethan and two bottle of sweet tea. Ever since he started seeing Ethan, he'd been drinking tea more than anything else, to the point where it's almost all he drank now. Of course he still needed his daily shot of espresso every morning. He walked back to the living room and sat all three bottles on the coffee table. "Are you hungry?" he asked, remember how they didn't exactly get to enjoy their snacks back at the dance studio. But now that Kairo was here, he could make Ethan a proper meal if he wanted it. Whatever it took to make him comfortable.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Ethan remained awakwardly standing by the door, wrapping his arms around himself once more. He could feel that he was still tense, though now it was mostly due to the unfamiliar surrounding and his questioning feelings regarding his therapist. The TV came on and music started to fill the area. It was soothing and soft. It helped calmed his nerves even more. After a moment, he decided that standing around wasn't going to make the situation better. Slowly, he shuffled over to the couch and sat down. He kept to one side and attempted to settle more into the couch. Clark closed his eyes and let the music take over him as he slowly took some deep breathes. You are safe here. You are safe here. You are safe here. You are safe here... The tension began to leave his body as he repeated the mantra in his mind. "Are you hungry?" Ethan opened his eyes to see the drinks in front of him on the coffee table. He reached for the water bottle and opened it. "Yes, but I'm not very picky about food. So whatever you have is good." He said, looking at Kai and giving him a small smile. Ethan sipped the water and then set the bottle back onto the coffee table.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Ethan Alexander Character Portrait: Kairo Choi

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Kairo Choi
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Location ✧ His studio apartment
Outfit ✧ Here
Dialogue ✧ 400E15
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As he went about his things, Kairo couldn't help but watch Ethan. Had he done the right thing by bringing him here? His body language said he was tense, but that could just as easily be due to what had happened back at the dance studio with Lucy. He returned the soft smile Ethan gave him and watched him for a moment before allowing himself to focus on something else. Food. Did he even have anything that could be made into a meal? Given that this studio was a place where Kai came when he was overwhelmed or overly stressed, more often than not he was not in the mood to eat while he was here, let alone cook.

He headed back towards the fridge, hoping with every ounce of strength that there was something there, otherwise he'd either leave Ethan without a meal or have to go grocery shopping which implied leaving Ethan alone. Neither option was going to cut it. But the moment he opened his freezer his worries vanished. Smiling back at him was a pack of Bulgogi Beef, one of his most favorite things to make. He let out a sigh of relief as he reached for the meet, setting it inside the sink and letting the hot tap water run over it.

He wasn't a five-star chef by any means, but he could certainly manage to make this beef along with some sweet potatoes noddles he'd spotted merely seconds after. After setting the meat to marinate for a few minutes, Kairo walked himself back to the couch, making himself comfortable beside Ethan. There was a beat of silence before the therapist turned to the boy beside him, his eyes covered with both concern and guilt. "Are you...feeling any better?"

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