Bradshaw Nocomia Lyrd
❝The Basics❞
| Full Name |
Bradshaw Nocomia Lyrd
| Nickname |
He prefers his name, just plain Bradshaw. He finds its professional, suiting, and well fitting for himself. Bradshaw finds nicknames a childish thing, why shorten a name? To him if you don't like it then suck it up, change it legally if wished for. Pet names aren't to his liking either, they're just not his taste, but there is an exception for people closest to him like friends and family; he allows them to call him Brad. When it came to the one he loves, Andrew, he let him call him anything he wishes as long as it's not out of line.
| Age |
Twenty
| Gender |
Male
| Role |
Boy 4
Bradshaw Nocomia Lyrd
| Nickname |
He prefers his name, just plain Bradshaw. He finds its professional, suiting, and well fitting for himself. Bradshaw finds nicknames a childish thing, why shorten a name? To him if you don't like it then suck it up, change it legally if wished for. Pet names aren't to his liking either, they're just not his taste, but there is an exception for people closest to him like friends and family; he allows them to call him Brad. When it came to the one he loves, Andrew, he let him call him anything he wishes as long as it's not out of line.
| Age |
Twenty
| Gender |
Male
| Role |
Boy 4
❝The Disguise❞
Sea-foam Blue
| Hair Color |
Dark Brown with Streaks of Grey and Black
| Skin Tone |
A Creamy White Color with a Soft Warmth
| Height & Weight |
6'3" and 150 lb.
| Distinct Markings |
Bradshaw has the common random scars that most possess, but the more defiant ones are the cuts along both wrist and the one on the back of his head where he busted it open, along with pierced ears (even though he never wears earrings), and a tattoo of a cross on his left wrist and another on his arm of piano keys with yellowish orange and purple flowers. He's also always seen wearing his thick black rimmed reading glasses.
❝Getting to know me❞
|| Reading || Studying || Learning || Books || Debating || The Thought of Being a Lawyer || Stubbornness || Standing Up For Beliefs || Intelligent People || People That Understand School || Music || The The Piano || Andrew || Emmy ||
| Dislikes |
|| Anesthesiologist "What a horrible job it is, but it pays a lot." || Fighting || Death || His Ex || Talking || Socializing || The Weak || People Who Can Be Pushed Around || Fire || Guns || Being Alone || Therapy "Only the weak need it." ||
| Fears |
Guns "It took the life of my... friend."- Knowing that was the weapon that killed his friend and almost himself makes him fear them, he knows how dangerous they are and how they can easily kill.
Love "It's good for nothing."- He saw how it tore his family about and then how it killed two people in his life, all it's ever done is brought pain to his world and he never wants to feel it again.
Being Caught "Like I did something wrong."- Killing people is illegal, therefore if he got caught he'd most likely go to prison for life symbolizing he failed himself and being locked away doesn't sound to fun either.
Being Alone "The quiet brings comfort."- Not showing means no one would ever know this boys fear of never having anyone with him. He doesn't like the thought of never having anyone in his life, but he'd never let anyone back in one purpose.
❝Delve a little deeper❞
When someone first meets the young man in his black tux they'll automatically get the sense that he doesn't long to be bothered, conversed with, or even admired. Mostly people are a thorn in the giants foot. They hinder, especially the less intelligent, what he wishes to accomplish. Bradshaw has a set mind on life, to be an anesthesiologist that will take twelve years of his life away in order to study, therefore he doesn't have time to be social. There are more reason to his lack of speaking: people aren't as intelligent as him, lack a strong sense of will, and the person he loved died. He could never just surround himself with a bunch of dumb people, it would cause him irritation to not be able to hold a conversation with anyone. Bradshaw likes a stubborn person that knows exactly when to back down, undoubtably he's always in charge, always the smartest person in the room, and always gets the finally say, but still a small amount of head butting is good for his ego. Now, the death of his close friend Andrew made his outer shell grow even harder, he lost everything he had ever loved when that boy died. It's not like Bradshaw was very amazing before he was gone, but it did take a toll on him, made him withdraw even more. His voice doesn't have much tone, a very simple mysterious sound at the least that most like to hear, but consist of no emotion but pain that most seem to never catch, his eyes no longer grow from joy since his highschool years have passed, but still he doesn't allow the pain to stop him to much in life. He continues to move toward and hold his posture of dominance and secrecy.
Bradshaw does experience some joy in life nonetheless, rare but true. He smiles when his younger sister comes to visit and he smiles when he's completed another of year of school. Really not having to much to be happy over cause him to restrain a smile. He doesn't laugh at jokes he finds stupid and of course this prideful man would never try to make one feel comfortable, well he might offer someone to sit and ask if they liked something to drink, but his not very warm to anyone. Music though, he loves the piano dearly, being able to play causes him more joy then he'd ever share with most. With each passing note makes an outburst of emotions bloom inside of the silent gentleman type. Along with the piano he also likes other instruments like the harp, flute, and violin, but nothing could compare to the grand piano he has in his living room. He also likes to learn new things, reading is his biggest passion. Bradshaw could sit and read for hours upon hours of nonfiction books, he could probably even teach himself everything he wishes to know about his job.
He's also a very prideful man if not noticed, always looking down on others to see if they deserve to be associated with him. With his nose always stuck up to almost all he meets means he's very lonely; he doesn't completely like it though. He likes the quiet and solitude, but having that one companion that gets him would be nice. He had it that way at one point, but blew it it some many ways. In his most inner layer he's still the depressed person that killed like a long time ago and still wishes to die, but over a different person. He may not let his pain show, but it's there, festering inside of him to his breaking point. Everyday he lives knowing he lost the one person he ever truly loved, that causes him more joy over anyone else in the world. His face might say strong but his soul says otherwise now. At one point he was an ice burg, so cold and closed off, but one day the sun came and melted him down enough to let him know what the warmth of love was like; maybe never pursuing that feeling is what makes him so upset with himself.
He's not one to upset easily, but annoyance is another. Annoying comes in so many different forms. There's the people that talk about useless information that's irrelevant, the random rainy days, dogs that won't stop barking, and so many more things that's just life. These are just things he can't avoid, but avoid he does try with the things he can. Drama for insists, a thing he hates, a usually thing that he feels only the weak start. Weak. Something he can't tolerate, only the strong prosper, therefore only the ounces with strength get the right to be around him if they qualify. Bradshaw's extremely judgmental, they must look and act the part if they wish to be in his life. That's just how it is with him. He knows it's easier to pull someone down then being them up; he can't let others pull him down in life. Being a calm man he doesn't let all these irritations overwhelm him to the point of anger, but when it does he tries his best to hide it along with all his other emotions, bad sometimes the dam breaks and his anger rushes out. When mad enough he might fight or hurt someone without meaning to, it's just like he can't control anything he's doing when he breaks. He could even kill someone when mad enough, which he has done and that's why he hardened back even worse; so he could never slip up so again.
Bradshaw's emotions don't range off to far from each other, but jealousy might be the second less controlled. He doesn't feel this way very often, but when he feels like something's his he'd rather not share. Being himself when he feels this way he'd never just come out and say it or even plainly show it, but the feelings are still there. Once his first and only girlfriend he didn't even really care for, he pretty much hated the girl for he was just using her, regardless he wouldn't let her talk to any other boys and constantly made her listen to him because they were dating. Even though he didn't like her he grew jealous and furious when she'd talk to others do to the fact that she was his property. He uses her like he used most though, to him everyone that isn't dear to him is just a pawn he can play with to success if needed.
In the darkness and most untapped area of his emotions would be love, especially when it's towards others. He finds it pretty much useless to love after his parents separated because love never last. He likes some people and find then tolerable, but he's only ever gotten close enough to two people to love. His younger sister is one of them, but the love for her only goes so far. He feels like he must protect her until she hits the age she can do so for herself, but he would never risk his life for the girl or go out of his way to be with her. She does bring him a low dosage of happiness, but there's one other he loves more than her. His dead friend, Andrew. He didn't only love him, but fell in love for him, something Bradshaw could not expect. It was wrong to love the same sex but he also felt like it wasn't best; he couldn't let his interest get in the way of his schooling. Love to Bradshaw is a strange thing, something he tries to ignore as much as possible, it's hard to deny some of his feelings, but try he shall.
❝Welcome to my life❞
Bradshaw was born into a simple world with two simple parents, a Math teacher at a local highschool for a father and a bakery worker for a mother. Schooling was pushed onto the boy heavily from a young age, so heavily that he was homeschooled by his father so he would be taught the right way. Always staying at home meant he grew up friendless, another thing he didn't mind. Learning was like his best friend, all he wanted was to expand his knowledge; an idea forces upon him from his father, but he finally did get a friend when he was seven, a little sister named Emmy. With Emmy he stayed close to, but always kept a certain distance from her as they aged for some reason, maybe because that's what he had witnessed through the years. His parents seemed to always be fussing about something, usually small. They yelled and cussed throughout their lovely home and the only peace came was when his father and mother was both working. Even though he was only seven he was so mature, nature enough to stay at home alone and be a second father to his baby sister. Bradshaw had never been spoiled; Emmy greatly was. She received all a baby could want while he received books to expand his knowledge. His parents were never the type to hug or kiss, maybe that's why Talia's baking was never sweet enough. Her baked goods were tasty, but no where near the best. His father also lacked the caring, all his students hated him from always pushing so hard and expected them to know all and everything. Bradshaw never got hugs, he was given the gift of homework from grade levels way above his own.
By the time he was ten everything seemed to be going down hill. Bradshaw had been walking down the stairs when he could hear his parents whispering. Stopping he crouched down and listened as hard as he could to the faint secrecies whimpering through the home. "That's it, we've been trying for way to long!" The first voice was the sound of a grieving wife that no matter how stricken sounded beautiful like a coo. "I know this, I've told you this before but you refused to believe me. I don't-" Gasping from Bradshaw's own small body caused the whole house to grow tense. Clearing his throat he stood up straight and walked down the steps to the living room to glare at both his parents. He may not have heard the finishing act, but he already knew what it was going to be, he had read so many stories, had so much common sense to not know. "Why?" Water rolled down the smooth face of the small boy as his parents stood there quietly. No one wanted to talk about it, but they had to, something had to be said. "Sometimes mommies and daddies-" His mother, Talia, had tried to touch his cheek but he slapped it away. Touching him was no longer allowed from the both of them. They were separating, their love failed, they had lied when they said their vows. Bradshaw couldn't stand liars, and now he could no longer stand them. Holding a strong lingering glare he puffed up and took off running to the front as his parents yelled his name. They could tell all they wanted as he opened the door and just ran and ran and ran.
Two years later his father married one of his old students and moved out of state while his mother became an alcoholic. The storm had passed and cooled with Bradshaw residing with his grandparents. With the divorce his sister had went to his father. In a way he was happy about it, this way he no longer had to play dad. "We signed you up today." His grandfather, Joeey, sat down on the edge of Bradshaw's bed while he was reading a book about anesthesiologist. Sighing Bradshaw pulled his eyes from the page to look at the man. "For what, Joeey?" "Grandpa would do." "No thank you." He had always called his parents by their names so he would do the same with the ones that had adopted him, he found otherwise to informal. "Well, Brad. I-" "Bradshaw." Corrected the to informal saying of his name. "I shall call you Brad! And as I was saying, I enrolled you into school today." "I've never been to school before-" "To bad, you'll start next week, ninth grade. You may be only twelve, but you test into that grade level." The argue went on for hours about how Bradshaw didn't want to go along side other people, he was always homeschooled, and with his stubbornness he didn't want to give in, but in the end he did. He didn't have time to waste on this, he didn't care where he was learning as long as he was learning.
With the first few months of school starting he stayed away from all, never talking to any, just to himself. For the longest time he was alone, but without warning he started talking to a boy, Andrew. It started out with small talk, nothing to much, but it blossomed into more discussions that were usually school related, and even started letting the boy come to his grandfather's home to study. This characteristic was strange for Bradshaw, he had always brushed off people that tried talking to him, but this ninth grade male was growing dangerously close to him. With the feeling of getting to close Bradshaw got a girlfriend to cover up the feelings, a girl he had talked to some in math. She was smart and seemed determined in life and strong willed. She was a suitable choice he thought, making her and Andrew the only people he ever truly spoke to.
As time professed he started feeling to close to Andrew and too possessive over his girlfriend. He wouldn't allow her to talk to any one other than himself, and if he found out she did he'd hit her. He punished her often out of his own anger, anger that he couldn't show his true feelings, that he forced then down, so he punished her for it. He beat her so often and one day got to carried away. He was so upset, to his breaking point that he just snapped and hit her across the head as hard as possible. She went down with a loud thump without saying a sound he was worried. He fell to his name and cried her name, but she didn't answer and when checking her pulse there was none. Jumping to his feet he ran to his car and rushed to his friends home where he cried without telling him what happened.
Shortly after he killed her he felt so guilty. He went into the woods with a gun where he planned to kill himself. Pulling out his phone before pulling the trigger he called Andrew telling him how sorry he was for what he was about to do and everything he had done. Taking time to let out his tears he was ready to shot himself. Hearing a noise it made him turn, it was his friend. He tried to convince him not to shot, but Bradshaw found this the only out. The two fought over the gun and it was accidentally pulled, instead of killing himself it went through Andrew's head killing him. Another death in such a short time made him break again, so much pain, he had just lost the only person he loved. Blacking out he awoke in a hospital where he was questioned about the two recent deaths. To his ex he said that he knew nothing about it, but when it came to Andrew's he said that his friend was the one trying to commit suicide and that Bradshaw was trying to stop him. He hated liars, but most of all he hated failure so she wouldn't allow it.
With time passing he tried to kill himself two more times: from overdose and wrecking his car, neither worked. Without success he gave up on dying and tried his best to move on. His grandfather forced him into therapy, which he knew he needed, but he tried his best not to share much. Talking was never his strong point, school was now all his focus again, and there was never time for friends. College kept his mind away from the pain of losing the love he never confessed to. He just grew back to the coldness that he knew when his parents left him.
❝Digging up the past❞
"My ex and my best friend passed, they were great people, but what more is there to say?" He doesn't show how he truly feels, but he blames himself for both because it was all his fault. He feels guilty for taking Emilee-Grace's life, but he doesn't miss or care for her, but with Andrew it's different. He misses him greatly and thinks about the young man everyday and how things would be if he wasn't dead. He's still in love with him, but doesn't acknowledge it anymore, he buries his feelings for him deep down inside of him.
| Affect |
"Everything's fine, nothing's changed." With the way Bradshaw acts most wouldn't know from the incidents he grew depressed, paranoid, and even more antisocial. He knows that both the deaths were his fault, and he fears one day that someone will find out it's him and take him to prison, ruining the future he wishes to have so dearly. After the death of his best friend he began cutting himself, he finds it beyond childish, but it does help relief the stress. Along with there being so much on him he started taking consoling for depression, even though he never tells the complete story of what happened the nights of the two deaths. Bradshaw has even tried to kill himself a few times again: once he tried to overdose, but his grandfather found him and rushed him to the hospital before death; the second was he drove his car head first into a tree, instead of dying he came out with the back of his head busted and a broken left arm. Not to long after that he got into church though, he doesn't know how he completely feels about God or life after death, but he's trying his best.
Theme Songs
I heard you driving in my car
Then in a frozen bar
And I claimed I didn't care for you
But your verse got trapped inside my head
Over and over again
You played yourself to death in me
I thought I'd drop you easily
But that was not to be
You burrowed like a summer tic
So you invade my sleep and confuse my dreams
Turn my nights to sleepless itch
Stuck on you 'till the end of time
I'm too tired to fight your rhyme
Stuck on you 'till the end of time
you've got me paralyzed
Holding on the telephone
I hear your midrange moan
You're everywhere inside my room
Even when I'm alone I hear your mellow drone
You're everywhere inside of me
Stuck on you 'till the end of time
I'm too tired to fight your rhyme
Stuck on you 'till the end of time
You got me trapped inside
I can't escape your incessant whine
When you beam it out all across the sky
No I can't escape
(stuck on you 'till the end of time)
your insipid rhyme
(I'm too tired to fight your rhyme)
When you shoot it deep
(stuck on you 'till the end of time)
Straight into my mind
I'm sitting in a room,
Made up of only big white walls and in the hall
There are people looking through
The window in the door
they know exactly what we're here for.
Don't look up
Just let them think
There's no place else
You'd rather be.
You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from,
Don't you know by now,
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.
If you let me I could,
I'd show you how to build your fences,
Set restrictions, separate from the world.
The constant battle that you hate to fight,
Just blame the limelight.
Don't look up
Just let them think
There's no place else
You'd rather be.
And now you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have.
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile.
Yeah, yeah you're asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in.
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it.
I said let's see you walk it.
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it.
I said let's see you walk it.
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, yeah oh oh open wide.
Yeah, oh oh open wide,
'Cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.