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Default Location for Forgiveness
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The Universe is a part of 
Forgiveness.
5 Characters Here
Keiji Yamamoto [24] "You've changed too much, and I haven't changed enough."
Yamamoto, Keiji [13] "Everything happens for a reason, but I wish that day had never come."
Kawakami Hikaru [10]
Kobayashi Akihito [10]
Katsumi Yamamoto [0] WIP
Start Character Here »
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XX Kobayashi Akihito
Akihito has spent a good several years convincing himself that everything he saw and heard in his childhood was entirely in his head, and he believes it, because it's true. It has to be true.
But of course, life is not on his side, and the day after his meds are reduced, he has a vision.
He's in the school greenhouse, early one morning, snipping wilted blossoms off a dahlia. And all of a sudden, he's somewhere else entirely. He sees countryside whiz by, smaller houses that grow as the train passes and picks up speed. He sees people holding handrails, reflected in the window.
It takes a long moment for Akihito's brain to catch up, for his thoughts to align and make sense again, and then he's pulling out, blocking the visions before he can get lost in them.
Fuck.
This has to be because of the lighter prescription. It has to be. Fuck.
Akihito takes time to breathe, tries not to panic. He refuses to think about what he saw or why or what it means; he's come too far with his therapy to regress now. He can't regress now. He can't.
The last thing he wants is for his father to make good on his threats and hospitalize him again.
Luckily, that vision is the only one, and he manages to finish deadheading the dahlia and watering the entire greenhouse by the time the warning bell rings. And, luckily, no one appears to bother him on the way to class, though there's nothing anyone can do to make him believe it'll last.
And he's right. It doesn't last. Just not quite in the way he'd expected.
The homeroom teacher walks in, and there's someone with him that no one recognizes. A transfer student. Not too strange, he thinks. But then the kid faces forward and Akihito's breath catches.
Hikaru.
Akihito has spent a good several years convincing himself that everything he saw and heard in his childhood was entirely in his head, and he believes it, because it's true. It has to be true.
But of course, life is not on his side, and the day after his meds are reduced, he has a vision.
He's in the school greenhouse, early one morning, snipping wilted blossoms off a dahlia. And all of a sudden, he's somewhere else entirely. He sees countryside whiz by, smaller houses that grow as the train passes and picks up speed. He sees people holding handrails, reflected in the window.
It takes a long moment for Akihito's brain to catch up, for his thoughts to align and make sense again, and then he's pulling out, blocking the visions before he can get lost in them.
Fuck.
This has to be because of the lighter prescription. It has to be. Fuck.
Akihito takes time to breathe, tries not to panic. He refuses to think about what he saw or why or what it means; he's come too far with his therapy to regress now. He can't regress now. He can't.
The last thing he wants is for his father to make good on his threats and hospitalize him again.
Luckily, that vision is the only one, and he manages to finish deadheading the dahlia and watering the entire greenhouse by the time the warning bell rings. And, luckily, no one appears to bother him on the way to class, though there's nothing anyone can do to make him believe it'll last.
And he's right. It doesn't last. Just not quite in the way he'd expected.
The homeroom teacher walks in, and there's someone with him that no one recognizes. A transfer student. Not too strange, he thinks. But then the kid faces forward and Akihito's breath catches.
Hikaru.
Kawakami Hikaru
Jasper had had a long month. So many things had happened. This year was his second worst birthday. His first worst birthday was the first one celebrated without Akihito. He pushed Akihito out of his mind. Thinking of him just made his chest hurt. He had been back home, but knew he couldnât see if his old best friend still lived in the house across the lake. Jasper feared something may have happened to Akihito as well. Akihito had disappeared when he most needed him. He wondered at times if he died. Jasper didnât think about it much.
All thoughts of Akihito left his mind until he was on the train to his new school. He saw a flower and apparently some wilted blossoms were being snipped off the plant. Before he could even speak or think, he was back on the train. It must have been Akihito. Although, why had it stopped? Why hadnât he spoken to him? Had Jasper just been too far away all this time or had Akihito blocked him out all of this time? If it was distance, why hadn't he sensed him when he entered the country? What was going on?
âAkihito,â he whispered out loud. When he got no response, a sigh escaped his lips. He pushed the thoughts of Akihito out of his head once more and just took in the view. He cleared his mind until he had to exit the train. Jasper decided to just chalk the incident up to him being tired. He had to be at school early today to finish sorting a few things out. Jasper really wished he had gotten enough sleep now.
While he was in the office, he unluckily ran into his homeroom teacher. It was not his choice, but they showed him the way to class. When he faced the class, his eyes went to someone who caught their breath. Before he could even give the guy a good look, the teacher told him to introduce himself. His eyes wandered around the class, but they returned to that guy. Jasper knew he looked familiar. He had begun to wonder if it was Akihito, but the teacher cleared their throat. He had been silent for too long.
âI am Jasper Sirius from the United States of America. You may call me Jasper if you wish to talk to me,â he said, sounding rather bored. He quickly walked away to an unoccupied desk and settled down. A soft sigh escaped his lips. He focused on class, but his eyes wandered to the person who he thought may be Akihito. Jasper wanted to chalk it up to wishful thinking. He just couldnât as this was the grade Akihito would be in.
He grew a bit more unsure if it was Akihito as the person seemed to avoid him for the rest of the day. If it was Akihito, wouldnât he go talk to him? Could Akihito not recognize him? The boy had seemed to gasp when he was in front of the class. The rest of the day was a blur as he was lost in his thoughts. He wondered if this person was Akihito or not. He finished getting dressed after his gym shower and was ready to go home. Unfortunately, he had to sign up for a club. It was a school requirement.
All thoughts of Akihito left his mind until he was on the train to his new school. He saw a flower and apparently some wilted blossoms were being snipped off the plant. Before he could even speak or think, he was back on the train. It must have been Akihito. Although, why had it stopped? Why hadnât he spoken to him? Had Jasper just been too far away all this time or had Akihito blocked him out all of this time? If it was distance, why hadn't he sensed him when he entered the country? What was going on?
âAkihito,â he whispered out loud. When he got no response, a sigh escaped his lips. He pushed the thoughts of Akihito out of his head once more and just took in the view. He cleared his mind until he had to exit the train. Jasper decided to just chalk the incident up to him being tired. He had to be at school early today to finish sorting a few things out. Jasper really wished he had gotten enough sleep now.
While he was in the office, he unluckily ran into his homeroom teacher. It was not his choice, but they showed him the way to class. When he faced the class, his eyes went to someone who caught their breath. Before he could even give the guy a good look, the teacher told him to introduce himself. His eyes wandered around the class, but they returned to that guy. Jasper knew he looked familiar. He had begun to wonder if it was Akihito, but the teacher cleared their throat. He had been silent for too long.
âI am Jasper Sirius from the United States of America. You may call me Jasper if you wish to talk to me,â he said, sounding rather bored. He quickly walked away to an unoccupied desk and settled down. A soft sigh escaped his lips. He focused on class, but his eyes wandered to the person who he thought may be Akihito. Jasper wanted to chalk it up to wishful thinking. He just couldnât as this was the grade Akihito would be in.
He grew a bit more unsure if it was Akihito as the person seemed to avoid him for the rest of the day. If it was Akihito, wouldnât he go talk to him? Could Akihito not recognize him? The boy had seemed to gasp when he was in front of the class. The rest of the day was a blur as he was lost in his thoughts. He wondered if this person was Akihito or not. He finished getting dressed after his gym shower and was ready to go home. Unfortunately, he had to sign up for a club. It was a school requirement.
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XX Kobayashi Akihito
Even though so much time has passed, Akihito recognizes Hikaru in an instant, and unfortunately, he can't think fast enough to keep from gasping in shock. Hikaru looks at him. Recognizes him.
Fuck, He thinks for the nth time this morning. How can this be happening?
Akihito knows exactly how- he may not be allowed to talk to Hikaru's family, but everyone knew when his grandfather died. In a town as small as the one Akihito knew, nothing was kept hidden.
Hikaru returning was inevitable. Misaki-san was too kind to leave her mother all alone.
Logically, it all makes perfect sense, but it still has Akihito's mind absolutely reeling. Right now is the worst possible time for all of this to be happening. Even during his hospitalization would've been a better time for Hikaru to show back up, because Akihito wouldn't have to know about it.
Hikaru introduces himself, his speech void of the youthful optimism Akihito remembers. Then he sits down a mere two seats away from Akihito, as if testing his ability to ignore what's happening.
And Akihito does ignore what's happening, if only marginally. He forces himself not to look back at Hikaru, to block Hikaru from his mind. He's not sure he trusts his meds to do it for him. When Hikaru comes toward him during lunch, Akihito walks away, refuses to look Hikaru in the eye.
It's entirely possible that pretending Hikaru doesn't exist is even more obvious than if he just tried not to talk to him, but Akihito's not really sure he cares. Nothing he does can escape notice.
He's cornered in the bathroom toward the end of lunch and only avoids getting punched because the bell rings, sending the bullies scrambling back to class. The student council might ignore the bullying, but tardiness? Absolutely not. If people start showing up late, all hell will break loose.
Akihito slips into his seat just as class starts, successfully avoiding Hikaru. When the last class of the day comes to an end, Akihito packs his things and leaves before Hikaru can even stand.
There's no way I can keep doing this forever.
Akihito returns to the greenhouse. His thoughts almost get the better of him- he can't get Hikaru's face out of his head, can't stop wondering how things will change. Hikaru changed his name. Does that mean he's left the past behind? If so, maybe he won't want to talk to him. Associating with Akihito will only make him more noticeable. No one at this school can resist a gossip topic.
His thoughts spiral down through the many possibilities for the future, and they go uninterrupted for half an hour. Then someone throws open the greenhouse door and marches in uninvited.
"Oi, Kobayashi! I want that money I asked you for."
Sunohara, one of Akihito's classmates, kicks at a pot of sunflowers and topples it over, spilling dirt and flowers onto the floor. One of the boys following him frowns at the dirt on his shoes, then shoots Akihito a glare, as if it's somehow his fault. Sunohara steps into Akihito's face, sneering.
"I don't have any money," Akihito steps back. "My father stopped giving me allowance."
Because you keep stealing it.
"Then steal some. I know your father's loaded, there's no way you got the school to pay for all these." Sunohara says, gesturing to the wide array of flowers around them.
Akihito doesn't respond, because Sunohara is right. He bought most of the flowers himself, with his father's money. But it's still true that Akihito doesn't carry money on him anymore; his father refuses to let him, with how often he "loses" it. And he could never get away with stealing.
Akihito says as much, but Sunohara won't take no for an answer. Several other pots fall to the floor and shatter, and Akihito can barely shove the flowers out of the way of stomping feet.
Looks like I'll have to get more seeds. Again. It'd almost be easier if they just beat me up.
Even though so much time has passed, Akihito recognizes Hikaru in an instant, and unfortunately, he can't think fast enough to keep from gasping in shock. Hikaru looks at him. Recognizes him.
Fuck, He thinks for the nth time this morning. How can this be happening?
Akihito knows exactly how- he may not be allowed to talk to Hikaru's family, but everyone knew when his grandfather died. In a town as small as the one Akihito knew, nothing was kept hidden.
Hikaru returning was inevitable. Misaki-san was too kind to leave her mother all alone.
Logically, it all makes perfect sense, but it still has Akihito's mind absolutely reeling. Right now is the worst possible time for all of this to be happening. Even during his hospitalization would've been a better time for Hikaru to show back up, because Akihito wouldn't have to know about it.
Hikaru introduces himself, his speech void of the youthful optimism Akihito remembers. Then he sits down a mere two seats away from Akihito, as if testing his ability to ignore what's happening.
And Akihito does ignore what's happening, if only marginally. He forces himself not to look back at Hikaru, to block Hikaru from his mind. He's not sure he trusts his meds to do it for him. When Hikaru comes toward him during lunch, Akihito walks away, refuses to look Hikaru in the eye.
It's entirely possible that pretending Hikaru doesn't exist is even more obvious than if he just tried not to talk to him, but Akihito's not really sure he cares. Nothing he does can escape notice.
He's cornered in the bathroom toward the end of lunch and only avoids getting punched because the bell rings, sending the bullies scrambling back to class. The student council might ignore the bullying, but tardiness? Absolutely not. If people start showing up late, all hell will break loose.
Akihito slips into his seat just as class starts, successfully avoiding Hikaru. When the last class of the day comes to an end, Akihito packs his things and leaves before Hikaru can even stand.
There's no way I can keep doing this forever.
Akihito returns to the greenhouse. His thoughts almost get the better of him- he can't get Hikaru's face out of his head, can't stop wondering how things will change. Hikaru changed his name. Does that mean he's left the past behind? If so, maybe he won't want to talk to him. Associating with Akihito will only make him more noticeable. No one at this school can resist a gossip topic.
His thoughts spiral down through the many possibilities for the future, and they go uninterrupted for half an hour. Then someone throws open the greenhouse door and marches in uninvited.
"Oi, Kobayashi! I want that money I asked you for."
Sunohara, one of Akihito's classmates, kicks at a pot of sunflowers and topples it over, spilling dirt and flowers onto the floor. One of the boys following him frowns at the dirt on his shoes, then shoots Akihito a glare, as if it's somehow his fault. Sunohara steps into Akihito's face, sneering.
"I don't have any money," Akihito steps back. "My father stopped giving me allowance."
Because you keep stealing it.
"Then steal some. I know your father's loaded, there's no way you got the school to pay for all these." Sunohara says, gesturing to the wide array of flowers around them.
Akihito doesn't respond, because Sunohara is right. He bought most of the flowers himself, with his father's money. But it's still true that Akihito doesn't carry money on him anymore; his father refuses to let him, with how often he "loses" it. And he could never get away with stealing.
Akihito says as much, but Sunohara won't take no for an answer. Several other pots fall to the floor and shatter, and Akihito can barely shove the flowers out of the way of stomping feet.
Looks like I'll have to get more seeds. Again. It'd almost be easier if they just beat me up.
Kawakami Hikaru
Jasper was bored as he participated in the event to get the freshmen to sign up for clubs. He walked through the stands for each club and their members. Although, he walked through the stands and wondered if there was a gardening club. He had remembered how he saw the flower this morning. Jasper had a feeling Akihito wasnât in his home when he shared his sight. He was at the last stand when he finally decided he should ask about the club. Jasper hadnât seen Akihito either, so he wondered if he was in a gardening club.
âAre you interested in joining the volleyball club? I saw you in gym class, and it looks like you have a body for sports,â said a student who looked familiar to him.
âIs there a gardening club?â Jasper asked and was annoyed when the student laughed. Wasnât there a gardening club? He thought of how his mother was just reading a list of the clubs off to him last night. Jasper was more sure now there was a gardening club. He assumed Akihito was in this club since he didnât see him so far.
âNo one wants to join that club,â the student replied once they stopped laughing.
âWhy?â Jasper replied, which made the student laugh more. He sighed softly and rolled his eyes. Jasper would find the club on his own. He walked off until he found a student who told him where the gardening club was. Jasper beelined outside and to the greenhouse. He slowed down when he realized the doors were open.
Jasper heard voices, but they were clearer as he got closer. He froze as he listened to the conversation. His eyes focused on the people who were speaking in the greenhouse as well. He debated if he should help Akihito. They werenât hurting him, it just seemed like they were messing up his plants. He almost walked away, but he couldnât. Despite all the years without being with Akihito, there was a part of him that still cared for him. He walked inside the gardening club and watched as they made pots fall. He watched as Akihito tried to shove the flowers out of stomping feet.
He picked up a pot, the one with the flower he saw this morning and threw it at the main bully. Jasper had wanted to aim for the head, but he thought about it and hit their back instead. Jasper didnât want a fight, so he began to pick up other pots and throw them at the bullies. He let the others run out, but grabbed the main bully he heard talking. The one who told Akihito to steal money. He kept a strong grip on his upper arm.
âListen. Bother Akihito again, and we will have a big issue. Also, I want money on Akihitoâs desk tomorrow to replace all the pots and plants you ruined, including the ones I ruined. If the money isnât there...gym class may be eventful for you,â he paused and tightened his grip on the bully until he flinched, âI am not threatening you. I am making a promise. Iâd suggest you donât make me fulfill this promise.â Jasper then proceeded to throw the bully outside and close the doors to the greenhouse. He was silent for a minute before looking at Akihito. Jasper felt his anger fill him up. He wouldnât yell at him. Lilith told him you donât yell or hit the people you love.
âDo you recognize me?â he asked, deciding to give Akihito the benefit of the doubt. His best friend could not recognize him, especially with the name change. Jasper didnât meet his eyes as he felt like he knew the answer. Jasper proceeded to bend down and pick up the broken pieces of flower pots. The greenhouse was a mess. Heâd help clean up as he made some of the mess.
âAre you interested in joining the volleyball club? I saw you in gym class, and it looks like you have a body for sports,â said a student who looked familiar to him.
âIs there a gardening club?â Jasper asked and was annoyed when the student laughed. Wasnât there a gardening club? He thought of how his mother was just reading a list of the clubs off to him last night. Jasper was more sure now there was a gardening club. He assumed Akihito was in this club since he didnât see him so far.
âNo one wants to join that club,â the student replied once they stopped laughing.
âWhy?â Jasper replied, which made the student laugh more. He sighed softly and rolled his eyes. Jasper would find the club on his own. He walked off until he found a student who told him where the gardening club was. Jasper beelined outside and to the greenhouse. He slowed down when he realized the doors were open.
Jasper heard voices, but they were clearer as he got closer. He froze as he listened to the conversation. His eyes focused on the people who were speaking in the greenhouse as well. He debated if he should help Akihito. They werenât hurting him, it just seemed like they were messing up his plants. He almost walked away, but he couldnât. Despite all the years without being with Akihito, there was a part of him that still cared for him. He walked inside the gardening club and watched as they made pots fall. He watched as Akihito tried to shove the flowers out of stomping feet.
He picked up a pot, the one with the flower he saw this morning and threw it at the main bully. Jasper had wanted to aim for the head, but he thought about it and hit their back instead. Jasper didnât want a fight, so he began to pick up other pots and throw them at the bullies. He let the others run out, but grabbed the main bully he heard talking. The one who told Akihito to steal money. He kept a strong grip on his upper arm.
âListen. Bother Akihito again, and we will have a big issue. Also, I want money on Akihitoâs desk tomorrow to replace all the pots and plants you ruined, including the ones I ruined. If the money isnât there...gym class may be eventful for you,â he paused and tightened his grip on the bully until he flinched, âI am not threatening you. I am making a promise. Iâd suggest you donât make me fulfill this promise.â Jasper then proceeded to throw the bully outside and close the doors to the greenhouse. He was silent for a minute before looking at Akihito. Jasper felt his anger fill him up. He wouldnât yell at him. Lilith told him you donât yell or hit the people you love.
âDo you recognize me?â he asked, deciding to give Akihito the benefit of the doubt. His best friend could not recognize him, especially with the name change. Jasper didnât meet his eyes as he felt like he knew the answer. Jasper proceeded to bend down and pick up the broken pieces of flower pots. The greenhouse was a mess. Heâd help clean up as he made some of the mess.
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XX Kobayashi Akihito
Akihito hadn't expected Hikaru- Jasper- him to come running, to come save him. But he does.
And even in the aftermath, the tension is thick enough to cut.
Akihito doesn't look at him, doesn't look at the boy he's forced from his mind. His dahlia, so full of life only moments before, is now crumpled on the concrete, half-buried in its own soil. Akihito grabs an empty, unbroken pot and scoops the dahlia carefully into it. Only one blossom remains.
His voice cuts through the room, dark with anger. "Do you recognize me?"
It's not a question; not really. They both know that much. No, this is a declaration of something- something Akihito knows but can't possibly describe. A declaration of what they've lost, maybe.
"Why did you come here?"
It's not an answer to Hikaru's- Jasper's question. And even Akihito doesn't know if it's meant to mean "this town" or "this school" or "this greenhouse." Akihito doesn't want to know any of the answers to any of those questions, but somehow, he's just as pissed off as Jasper right now.
"I didn't ask for your help. And you didn't even help, by the way. Just broke more of my pots and pissed off Sunohara. If you think he's intimidated by you, you're wrong."
It's more than Akihito has said to anyone in quite a while, but Akihito refuses to feel regret. He doesn't look at Jasper, just picks up his broken flowers, the broken pots, the broken silence.
After a moment, whispered, "You shouldn't have come back."
Akihito hadn't expected Hikaru- Jasper- him to come running, to come save him. But he does.
And even in the aftermath, the tension is thick enough to cut.
Akihito doesn't look at him, doesn't look at the boy he's forced from his mind. His dahlia, so full of life only moments before, is now crumpled on the concrete, half-buried in its own soil. Akihito grabs an empty, unbroken pot and scoops the dahlia carefully into it. Only one blossom remains.
His voice cuts through the room, dark with anger. "Do you recognize me?"
It's not a question; not really. They both know that much. No, this is a declaration of something- something Akihito knows but can't possibly describe. A declaration of what they've lost, maybe.
"Why did you come here?"
It's not an answer to Hikaru's- Jasper's question. And even Akihito doesn't know if it's meant to mean "this town" or "this school" or "this greenhouse." Akihito doesn't want to know any of the answers to any of those questions, but somehow, he's just as pissed off as Jasper right now.
"I didn't ask for your help. And you didn't even help, by the way. Just broke more of my pots and pissed off Sunohara. If you think he's intimidated by you, you're wrong."
It's more than Akihito has said to anyone in quite a while, but Akihito refuses to feel regret. He doesn't look at Jasper, just picks up his broken flowers, the broken pots, the broken silence.
After a moment, whispered, "You shouldn't have come back."
Kawakami Hikaru
Jasper tensed as he felt hurt while he listened to Akihito, his apparent ex best friend, and just stared blankly. He felt as if someone was squeezing his heart. In his opinion, Akihito was being an asshole. He turned his hands into fists as he wanted to punch Akihito in the face. It was what he would have done if it was anyone else and they spoke to him that way. He made sure to breath slowly so his heart rate wouldnât go even higher. His anger warmed him and urged him to fight Akihito. Jasper knew it would end up with him beating him into a plup, and he didnât want to do that. Slowly he walked over to Akihito with the broken pieces he had picked up. Jasper parted his lips to speak, but pressed them together again. He wanted to yell, but he wasnât going to. He let out a sigh.
âI came here as I saw a flower this morning on my train ride in,â he said before walking away. He dropped the pieces he had picked up right at the doorway before he leaned against the door. He couldnât help it as he glared at Akihito. He needed his anger to hide the pain he felt. âAlso, you never asked for my help before, but I always helped because you didnât defend yourself. I didnât want some bully to end up killing you or hurting you badly because I cared and still care for you. I always helped and helped now as you are, well were, my best friend,â he added and paused as he took an involuntary step forward. Jasper was so angry and knew he needed to let it out. He sighed.
âI would imagine you know why I am back as news travels fast. I would think you would be the one person happy to see me. I had to leave because I defended you...I would think youâd be happy to see me. I guess you think I am a murderer as well and decided we are no longer best friends,â he said before he stormed off. The rest of the night was a blur for Jasper. He did just go straight home and went to bed, so it was uneventful. His mother had sent him a message to say she was spending the night with her mother.
The next day he woke up earlier as he had trouble sleeping. He knew he had nightmares he couldn't remember and that he hadnât had in ages. Finally he decided to get ready for school and got to school much earlier than Akihito must have been the day before. He saw the greenhouse was cleaned and assumed Akihito stayed to clean. Jasper knew he shouldnât be here, but he knew he wouldnât be able to ignore Akihito for the rest of his time here. He wasnât sure if he could fix things, but he knew heâd still protect him. It wasnât like he could stop caring for his once best friend. Jasper watered the remaining plants and wondered if the bully would leave the money on Akihitoâs desk. If he didnât, Jasper would make gym class a series of unfortunate events for him. Accidents did happen in gym class. He would stay in the greenhouse until the last minute as heâd rather be the last person in class. Jasper wondered if Akihito would visit the greenhouse in the morning. He had left the door open so anyone walking by would know he was in there.
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XX Kobayashi Akihito
"I came here as I saw a flower this morning on my train ride in," Jasper says. "Also, you never asked for my help before, but I always helped because you didnât defend yourself. I didnât want some bully to end up killing you or hurting you badly because I cared and still care for you. I always helped and helped now as you are, well were, my best friend."
Jasper's words are expectedly nasty- Akihito could tell he was pissed, so incredibly pissed. Akihito can't bring himself to be hurt by them, though. He's long grown out of being protected.
"I guess you think I am a murderer as well."
The statement hits Akihito like a pile of bricks and for a moment, he can't breathe. It's like Jasper has dropped a bomb on him. And that's not what Akihito thinks at all- Jasper isn't a murderer.
But, murderer or not, Jasper still stands at the center of all Akihito's problems.
Akihito doesn't look up to watch Jasper leave, doesn't take his eyes off the broken pieces of his greenhouse scattered around him. He didn't ask Jasper to come, and he refuses to feel bad for not asking him to stay. They're not friends anymore. They're not even acquaintances anymore.
Akihito refuses to feel bad for that.
XX â
The next morning, Akihito arrives at school to find the greenhouse door wide open.
He sucks in a breath. Images flash in his mind of more broken pots, smashed flowers- everything in ruins. Sunohara does not like being challenged, and yesterday was pushing his limits. Avoiding the greenhouse won't remove the aftermath though. Akihito takes a deep breath, steps inside.
Nothing is broken. Nothing is dead.
Instead, Jasper stands in the middle of one aisle, watering a cluster of gerber daises.
Akihito stands frozen in the doorway for a long moment, trying to collect his thoughts. Why is he here? Why is he here, at school, in his greenhouse, watering his plants? Akihito's hands shake.
He asks, rather angrily, "What do you want from me?"
"I came here as I saw a flower this morning on my train ride in," Jasper says. "Also, you never asked for my help before, but I always helped because you didnât defend yourself. I didnât want some bully to end up killing you or hurting you badly because I cared and still care for you. I always helped and helped now as you are, well were, my best friend."
Jasper's words are expectedly nasty- Akihito could tell he was pissed, so incredibly pissed. Akihito can't bring himself to be hurt by them, though. He's long grown out of being protected.
"I guess you think I am a murderer as well."
The statement hits Akihito like a pile of bricks and for a moment, he can't breathe. It's like Jasper has dropped a bomb on him. And that's not what Akihito thinks at all- Jasper isn't a murderer.
But, murderer or not, Jasper still stands at the center of all Akihito's problems.
Akihito doesn't look up to watch Jasper leave, doesn't take his eyes off the broken pieces of his greenhouse scattered around him. He didn't ask Jasper to come, and he refuses to feel bad for not asking him to stay. They're not friends anymore. They're not even acquaintances anymore.
Akihito refuses to feel bad for that.
XX â
The next morning, Akihito arrives at school to find the greenhouse door wide open.
He sucks in a breath. Images flash in his mind of more broken pots, smashed flowers- everything in ruins. Sunohara does not like being challenged, and yesterday was pushing his limits. Avoiding the greenhouse won't remove the aftermath though. Akihito takes a deep breath, steps inside.
Nothing is broken. Nothing is dead.
Instead, Jasper stands in the middle of one aisle, watering a cluster of gerber daises.
Akihito stands frozen in the doorway for a long moment, trying to collect his thoughts. Why is he here? Why is he here, at school, in his greenhouse, watering his plants? Akihito's hands shake.
He asks, rather angrily, "What do you want from me?"
Kawakami Hikaru
Jasper sensed someone enter the greenhouse, but he stayed quiet. He finished watering the cluster of flowers and moved on to the next one. He heard Akihito speak before he finished watering the last plant. A sigh escaped his lips as he placed the watering can down. Slowly he turned around and looked Akihito over. His heart hurt as he pushed memories away. A smile tried to grace his lips, but it quickly died into a line. He crossed his arms. His temper tried to run hot through his veins. He ignored it as he wasnât going to yell at Akihito.
âWhat do you think I want?â he asked. He couldnât tell his apparently ex best friend what he wanted. Jasper wanted him. He wanted his best friend back, his other half. He had spent years wondering if he had done something to sever their connection. Apparently, it seemed to be Akihitoâs fault somehow. He didnât want to assume it was Akihitoâs fault, but he couldnât help the assumption. He sighed and rolled his shoulders back. Jasper walked slowly up to Akihito and took in his features. He had to calm his mind. Jasper wanted to say so much. He just felt angry as well.
âI am not sure how you feel about me, so Iâll just keep assuming. It seems you are determined to ignore me or were. It will be interesting if you keep ignoring me...it will be interesting as I am joining the gardening club. I am not going to allow anyone to hurt you while I am here. You may hate me or not like me, but you will need to deal with my presence. You apparently already stopped our connection,â he paused as he ran his fingers through his hair, âAnyways, are there any seeds you need or certain type of pots or supplies you want?â
âWhat do you think I want?â he asked. He couldnât tell his apparently ex best friend what he wanted. Jasper wanted him. He wanted his best friend back, his other half. He had spent years wondering if he had done something to sever their connection. Apparently, it seemed to be Akihitoâs fault somehow. He didnât want to assume it was Akihitoâs fault, but he couldnât help the assumption. He sighed and rolled his shoulders back. Jasper walked slowly up to Akihito and took in his features. He had to calm his mind. Jasper wanted to say so much. He just felt angry as well.
âI am not sure how you feel about me, so Iâll just keep assuming. It seems you are determined to ignore me or were. It will be interesting if you keep ignoring me...it will be interesting as I am joining the gardening club. I am not going to allow anyone to hurt you while I am here. You may hate me or not like me, but you will need to deal with my presence. You apparently already stopped our connection,â he paused as he ran his fingers through his hair, âAnyways, are there any seeds you need or certain type of pots or supplies you want?â
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X Kobayashi Akihito xx#A3362F
"What do you think I want?"
Akihito frowns deeper, tension collecting in his shoulders. It doesn't take much thought to guess- if Akihito were in Jasper's place, all he'd want is for things to be the same as they used to be.
But Akihito is not in Jasper's place, and things can never be the same as they used to be.
"I am not sure how you feel about me, so Iâll just keep assuming." Whatever you assume, it's probably correct. "It seems you are determined to ignore me or were. It will be interesting if you keep ignoring me...it will be interesting as I am joining the gardening club."
"Joining?!"
Shock and surprise allow the word to slip out, and Akihito struggles to rein in the pure confusion rolling about in his mind. Why on Earth would Jasper want to join the gardening club? Even without Akihito's aversion to him, the gardening club is the most boring option on the roster.
"I am not going to allow anyone to hurt you while I am here."
Ah, that makes sense.
"You may hate me or not like me, but you will need to deal with my presence. You apparently already stopped our connection," Jasper says, sounding frustrated.
Akihito shoves down the whispering voice of guilt. He refuses to think he might be in the wrong.
(He's scared. He knows he's scared. And it's always easier to hide from feared things than to face them, so that is what Akihito will do. It makes no difference that his feared thing is a person.)
"Anyways, are there any seeds you need or certain type of pots or supplies you want?"
A pause, then a blunt, "Yes." Akihito pulls a list of flowers and pot sizes he'd written up earlier to help him remember and hands it over to Jasper, carefully avoiding any physical contact.
Then, because he's still pissed and confused and more than a little stressed, he turns and leaves.
"What do you think I want?"
Akihito frowns deeper, tension collecting in his shoulders. It doesn't take much thought to guess- if Akihito were in Jasper's place, all he'd want is for things to be the same as they used to be.
But Akihito is not in Jasper's place, and things can never be the same as they used to be.
"I am not sure how you feel about me, so Iâll just keep assuming." Whatever you assume, it's probably correct. "It seems you are determined to ignore me or were. It will be interesting if you keep ignoring me...it will be interesting as I am joining the gardening club."
"Joining?!"
Shock and surprise allow the word to slip out, and Akihito struggles to rein in the pure confusion rolling about in his mind. Why on Earth would Jasper want to join the gardening club? Even without Akihito's aversion to him, the gardening club is the most boring option on the roster.
"I am not going to allow anyone to hurt you while I am here."
Ah, that makes sense.
"You may hate me or not like me, but you will need to deal with my presence. You apparently already stopped our connection," Jasper says, sounding frustrated.
Akihito shoves down the whispering voice of guilt. He refuses to think he might be in the wrong.
(He's scared. He knows he's scared. And it's always easier to hide from feared things than to face them, so that is what Akihito will do. It makes no difference that his feared thing is a person.)
"Anyways, are there any seeds you need or certain type of pots or supplies you want?"
A pause, then a blunt, "Yes." Akihito pulls a list of flowers and pot sizes he'd written up earlier to help him remember and hands it over to Jasper, carefully avoiding any physical contact.
Then, because he's still pissed and confused and more than a little stressed, he turns and leaves.
Kawakami Hikaru
Jasper was glad Akihito answered, but he wished he reacted more to what he said. He took the list and looked it over. Jasper let Akihito walk away as he read the list. He sighed as he typed the list into his phone. Akihito actually sent his mother a message to ask where he could find these things. Although, this was a mistake. It ended up with her asking a million questions that he did his best to vaguely answer. He was glad when he finally informed her he had to get to class. When he got to class, he was disappointed the bully did not leave the money. He rolled his eyes as he sat down. This now meant he had to make the boyâs gym class a living hell. Jasper barely paid attention in class as he mainly focused on Akihito.
He really couldnât believe he had his best friend back. They were even in the same year thanks to him transferring. Jasperâs mind stayed stuck on daydreams of what things would be like if Jasper and Akihito had a happy reunion. In gym class, he made a decent amount of âaccidentsâ happen. When he could, he made sure to hit the bully with the ball. After gym Jasper made sure to shower very quickly as his mother, Lilith, was going to show up at the garden club with the supplies. He ran to the greenhouse, but smiled when he saw his mom. She was so much shorter than him and just reached the middle of his chest.
âHow was your day sweetie?â she asked. He smiled and shrugged. Jasperâs eyes wandered to the supplies against the greenhouse.
âI am good, and you? How is grandmother?â he asked. He resisted the urge to look around for Akihito. He wondered if heâd recognize his mother. She did look different as her waist length hair was now short, boyish. Also, she didnât wear makeup anymore like back in the day.
âI am tired, but okay. Grandmother is as good as she can be,â she paused to ruffle his hair. âI have to go soon though, so letâs get this stuff inside.â Jasper rolled his eyes and smiled. He then proceeded to help her bring everything into the greenhouse. They did everything rather quickly. He hugged her once more and kissed her cheek before he let her go.
"See you for dinner," she yelled as she ran off. Jasper smiled a bit. His mother was so much busier now. Jasper was surprised that he missed her company so much. In America they had spent much more time together. It was really like he was alone here. The thoughts of loneliness annoyed him as he felt these thoughts only started yesterday. Jasper pushed his thoughts away before he began to fill a pot with soil.
He really couldnât believe he had his best friend back. They were even in the same year thanks to him transferring. Jasperâs mind stayed stuck on daydreams of what things would be like if Jasper and Akihito had a happy reunion. In gym class, he made a decent amount of âaccidentsâ happen. When he could, he made sure to hit the bully with the ball. After gym Jasper made sure to shower very quickly as his mother, Lilith, was going to show up at the garden club with the supplies. He ran to the greenhouse, but smiled when he saw his mom. She was so much shorter than him and just reached the middle of his chest.
âHow was your day sweetie?â she asked. He smiled and shrugged. Jasperâs eyes wandered to the supplies against the greenhouse.
âI am good, and you? How is grandmother?â he asked. He resisted the urge to look around for Akihito. He wondered if heâd recognize his mother. She did look different as her waist length hair was now short, boyish. Also, she didnât wear makeup anymore like back in the day.
âI am tired, but okay. Grandmother is as good as she can be,â she paused to ruffle his hair. âI have to go soon though, so letâs get this stuff inside.â Jasper rolled his eyes and smiled. He then proceeded to help her bring everything into the greenhouse. They did everything rather quickly. He hugged her once more and kissed her cheek before he let her go.
"See you for dinner," she yelled as she ran off. Jasper smiled a bit. His mother was so much busier now. Jasper was surprised that he missed her company so much. In America they had spent much more time together. It was really like he was alone here. The thoughts of loneliness annoyed him as he felt these thoughts only started yesterday. Jasper pushed his thoughts away before he began to fill a pot with soil.
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XX Kobayashi Akihito xx#A3362F
Akihito finds himself distracted throughout the day, unable to concentrate on... anything, really.
Jasper is on his mind practically every second and he thinks it might genuinely drive him mad. There's absolutely no good reason for him to be so caught up in this- at least, he wants to believe there isn't. Realistically, he knows anyone else would be thrilled if they were in his position.
(Or, well, maybe not all of his position. Having a long-lost best friend back, sure, but Akihito is more or less certain no one would want the part of the situation that he's truly terrified of.)
But there's no way for me to get around this. Not if he's a member of the gardening club.
Despite Akihito's aversion to anything involving Jasper, he does enjoy watching him pummel Sunohara during gym. Jasper takes every opportunity to peg him in the head and it's satisfying.
If only Sunohara wasn't so fucking stubborn. Then maybe getting pummeled would be enough.
Akihito forces himself to steel his expressions and keep his enjoyment hidden. He doesn't want to taunt Sunohara, nor does he want Jasper to think he's done him any favors. He manages to avoid the both of them successfully- until school ends. He can't avoid Jasper in the tiny greenhouse.
Akihito takes the long route to the greenhouse, wanting to put off duties for as long as possible. For the first time in four years, he's tempted to just... not show up for club duties, today.
Then he rounds a corner and sees Jasper with his mom. He quickly backpedals out of sight.
Seeing Misaki-san after so many years is a shock to Akihito's system. He can't help the rush of anger and blame whenever he sees Jasper. But Misaki-san... none of what happened was her fault.
None of it was his fault, either. You know that.
And Akihito does. But even admitting that doesn't soothe the paranoia running through his veins.
He waits until Misaki-san has left, waits until he can't hear Jasper's footsteps, waits a little longer just so he can tell himself his time with Jasper won't be as prolonged, and then finally makes his way into the greenhouse. It feels like walking into a sunroom in the middle of July.
Jasper is already filling the new pots with soil. Akihito doesn't extend a greeting, simply sets his things to the side and grabs a pot himself, silently transplanting the new flowers Jasper bought.
It's only for a few months. As long as father doesn't find out, it'll be fine. It'll all be just fine.
Akihito finds himself distracted throughout the day, unable to concentrate on... anything, really.
Jasper is on his mind practically every second and he thinks it might genuinely drive him mad. There's absolutely no good reason for him to be so caught up in this- at least, he wants to believe there isn't. Realistically, he knows anyone else would be thrilled if they were in his position.
(Or, well, maybe not all of his position. Having a long-lost best friend back, sure, but Akihito is more or less certain no one would want the part of the situation that he's truly terrified of.)
But there's no way for me to get around this. Not if he's a member of the gardening club.
Despite Akihito's aversion to anything involving Jasper, he does enjoy watching him pummel Sunohara during gym. Jasper takes every opportunity to peg him in the head and it's satisfying.
If only Sunohara wasn't so fucking stubborn. Then maybe getting pummeled would be enough.
Akihito forces himself to steel his expressions and keep his enjoyment hidden. He doesn't want to taunt Sunohara, nor does he want Jasper to think he's done him any favors. He manages to avoid the both of them successfully- until school ends. He can't avoid Jasper in the tiny greenhouse.
Akihito takes the long route to the greenhouse, wanting to put off duties for as long as possible. For the first time in four years, he's tempted to just... not show up for club duties, today.
Then he rounds a corner and sees Jasper with his mom. He quickly backpedals out of sight.
Seeing Misaki-san after so many years is a shock to Akihito's system. He can't help the rush of anger and blame whenever he sees Jasper. But Misaki-san... none of what happened was her fault.
None of it was his fault, either. You know that.
And Akihito does. But even admitting that doesn't soothe the paranoia running through his veins.
He waits until Misaki-san has left, waits until he can't hear Jasper's footsteps, waits a little longer just so he can tell himself his time with Jasper won't be as prolonged, and then finally makes his way into the greenhouse. It feels like walking into a sunroom in the middle of July.
Jasper is already filling the new pots with soil. Akihito doesn't extend a greeting, simply sets his things to the side and grabs a pot himself, silently transplanting the new flowers Jasper bought.
It's only for a few months. As long as father doesn't find out, it'll be fine. It'll all be just fine.
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