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Derpy Hooves

Ponyville's wall eyed delivery pony

0 · 788 views · located in Rotten Rabbit's Tavern

a character in “Fusion Fantasy Neo”, as played by ladygeekiness

Description

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Derpy Hooves (or Ditzy Doo) is a grey pegasus that lives in Ponyville, Equestria and delivers letters and parcels. She's a total klutz, and causes many accidents, and she never knows what went wrong, hence the name Derpy. She loves Muffins, and eats them frequently. Her cutie mark is of bubbles, and no one is sure why, and Derpy doesn't know either. She has a daughter named Dinky Doo, Who is almost completely different from her mother. But they still love each other. Derpy is a fairly fast flyer, but not as fast as the legendary Rainbow Dash, who she thinks is awesome. Derpy is often stuck in many situations, some caused by traveling with Doctor Whooves, who comes around from time to time.

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So begins...

Derpy Hooves's Story

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy Hooves was flying happily through the air, her mail satchel stock full of letters. She smiled happily, her yellow wall eyes looking in opposite directions, yet she still managed to fly straight. I better deliver dese wetters owr I won't get any bits for muffins!! She thought to herself, sounding derpy even in her mind. Her next letter was headed for Rotten Rabbit Tavern, and her boss had given specific instructions as to where it was. The problem was that she couldn't remember what the instructions were. She was so busy thinking, she didn't realise she was losing altitude. She shrugged, guessing a muffin probably could resurrect the dead if altered, then saw the ground and the door of a bar hurtling towards her. Or rather, her hurtling towards it. Derpy braced herself for impact, and smashed through the door, leaving a large hole in it.

Derpy coughed and looked around at the grimy tavern, and saw a sign that said Welcome to the Rotten Rabbit's Tavern. Derpy smiled, her crooked eyes wobbling in random directions as she looked around. There weren't very nice folk in the tavern, and a majority of them were looking at her. She didn't notice however, and reached into her satchel for the letter. She brought it out, and held it up high in her grey hoof. "Wetter fow a Mistewr Owld Man Sam!" She smiled obliviously, not hearing the handful of awws from the softer hearted drinkers in the tavern. She just sat there, her blond tail sitting behind her in the dust and grime of the tavern floor.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Dr. Y Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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I would imagine that most the patrons are looking somewhere else (like, say, at the nearest thug who makes them angry), considering that Derpy just broke into the middle of a bar fight. But that's just me. Anyway, Dr. Y takes advantage of the chaos to slip out of the tavern. Ramses tries to follow but is held up by several brutes.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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(Whoops, my bad! Derp. :P)

Derpy sat for a while, holding the letter high above her head, smiling happily, but soon saw that no one was listening. Her facial expression changed to one of disappointment, and she looked around for someone to help find Old Man Sam. She saw a group of large men holding up bro hooves to a scared looking mushroom man, and she smiled. Before the brute could do anything, she sped up to him, and clonked her hoof with his fist. "Bwohoof! Teehee!" Her eyes were closed happily, clumsy innocence practically radiating from her. She then opened her eyes and flapped her wings, keeping elevated. "Hewwo! i'm Dewrpy! I came over here to ask you a question!" She hovered there in silence for a second whilst the group of thugs raised an eyebrow at her. She put a hoof to her chin and a confused expression came across her face. "Oh noes! Now I can't remember what the question was!"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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OOC: No worries, it happens.

IC:

"Little busy here, Dewrpy," said Ramses, ducking under one of the thugs' punches. Thankfully, the rest seem too distracted by the adorable pony to throw more.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy looked at the funny little mushroom man and frowned. She put her letter back in her satchel and then placed her hands on her hips. She glowered at the thug trying to punch Ramses, and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and she humphed at him. "Dat's not hoow you doow a bwohoof! DIS is hoow you doow a bwo hoof." She then closed her eyes happily, a grin on her face, and intending to hit the thug's fist, she accidentally hit him in the face knocking him out. She looked down at the big unconscious thug on the floor, a hoof to her chin, her wall eyes wobbling. "Awre youw owkay?" He didn't reply due to being knocked out, but Derpy didn't need an answer. She bounced on top of the thug, his beer gut acting almost like a trampoline. "Wakey wakey mistewr!" The thug awoke with a yowl and ran to the opposite end of the tavern, clutching his stomach. Derpy watched him go then turned back tothe mushroom man, shrugging. "I juwst down't know what went wrowng!"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Ramses, in the meantime, gets an idea to get any other would-be aggressors off his back.

"I'm afraid I don't know either," said Ramses, pushing another thug to Derpy. "Why don't you try again on this fine gentleman?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Goowd idea mistewr!" She smiled happily, and closed her eyes. She then clonked her hoof with the thug's fist. Very hard. The large man yowled, and jumped up and down in pain, massaging his broken knuckles. Derpy giggled. "Dat's a funny dance mistewr!" She stopped flying, and copied the thug, jumping up and down on another thug's foot. He cried in pain, stumbling backwards, hitting a table and knocking himself unconscious. Derpy looked down at him, and scrunched her nose. "Why is evewryone so sweepy today?" She giggled and jumped onto the man's beer gut. She bounced on it like a trampoline, shouting as she did so. "WAKE UP MISTEWR!" The man did wake up. In pain. He ran to the opposite end of the tavern as fast as he could with a sprained foot, and sat in a corner, clutching his stomach. Derpy looked at the mushroom man and shrugged.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Any thugs that are still standing, seeming to think that Ramses has some kind of arcane control over this grey flying pony, quickly go back to bothering people that aren't him. Ramses looks out the window to see where Dr. Y might have gone, but he's long gone. Muttering something in Shroob under his breath, he turns back to Derpy.

"So," said Ramses. "Thought of what your question is yet?"

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy watched the other burly men scurry off and waved happily at them. She heard the mushroom man mutter something strange, and she turned to him. When he asked her whether she remembered her question. She frowned, and laughed. "Oh! I remembewr now! Doo youw know Owld Man Sawm? I've got a wetter fowr him!" She pulled out the letter from her satchel and held it high. But a sudden gust of wind from the hole in the door blew it out of her hoof. She squeaked, and zipped after it. She caught t, but lost control and crashed into the bar, hitting her head hard. She sat, silent, and a tear welled up in her crooked eye. "Ow..." Her lip wobbled, and she limped over to the mushroom man.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Well," said Ramses, resisting the urge to chuckle. "Old Man Sam is behind the bar, like always."

Ramses points over to Old Man Sam. Being the jerk of a bounty hunter that he is he made no move to try and get the letter back for Derpy. Then he reconsidered, thinking that a mail pony, no matter how... inexperienced... may still be of some use for tracking Dr. Y down. It might, then, be a good idea to get her to like him.

"Hey," said Ramses. "Don't cry. I can take that letter to him if you're having trouble."

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"Oh, I'm not gowing to cwy, dis happens a wot, it just huwrts." She looked over at the bar, and saw the old man behind the bar. She smiled, finally understanding why he was called Old Man Sam. She looked at Ramses and be beckoned with her hoof. "Come oown!" She looked at him with her wall eyes, and started to hover in the air, smiling happily, her face filled with an expression of innocence and happiness.

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Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Ramses heads on over to Old Man Sam, leaning an elbow against the bar.

"Sam," said Ramses. "It seems this young mail pony has a letter for you."

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Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam looks at Ramses, then at Derpy, then back at Ramses, and raises an eyebrow.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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"I know, I know," said Ramses. "But she's been so helpful in calming down those who would mess up your bar that I thought I might throw her a bone."

Ramses takes the letter addressed to Old Man Sam and hands it to the old Kremling.

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Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Taking the letter in his rough hands, Sam begins carefully reading it.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy watched Old Man Sam read the letter with her wonky yellow eyes. She scrunched up her nose and tried to peer over the counter to see the letter, but wasn't tall enough to see the letter. She was truly disheartened. She scratched her head with a wing, and remembered that she could fly! She slowly took off, and started to try and read the letter upside down. The problem was that she wasn't very good at reading in the first place. But she was curious, and wanted to know what the letter she had delivered was all about.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Ramses, also curious to see what the letter says, looks over it. Whatever it was, surely it was important if the pony flew into the middle of a bar fight to deliver it.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Karasz
Leilanie Sowanaga enters the tavern to get a drink. It was due to her conflict with her ex-fiance and decided that she broke up with him. Perhaps the best way to drain her sorrows away is to drink a couple of beverages... More if she's still depressed. She calmy sits on the stool and orders a drink from Old Man Sam.

"....Bock please..." Leilanie spoke as she placed her money on the counter, "...I don't feel too well. I don't care if you put ice in, just... give me a bock..."

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Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam sets the letter down for a moment, and then pours and a slides a glass of bock over to Leilanie. (ice included)

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Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Karasz
"Thanks..." Leilanie drank a glass of bock in one gulp and lay the glass down, "...Need more..." She placed more money on the table, "Don't ask why... I... I rather not talk about it."

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Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Everyone ignores Leilanie rather loudly announcing that she doesn't want to talk about it. Meanwhile, Ramses decides that the letter isn't worth his time and begins packing up his gear.

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Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Sockie
Sam immediately slides another glass over to Leilanie.

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Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by GBA
By now, Jonathan has seemingly passed out, meanwhile; having been drinking pretty heavily, if the numerous steel flasks either clutched in his hand or strewn about on his table have anything to say about it.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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Derpy Hooves looked at the purple haired human as she sat down, seemingly upset. Derpy felt bad for her, she knew how it felt to be upset, it happened a lot to her. It was the human that had distracted her from flying, Derpy realised, as she lay on the floor, wings spread out, some feathers ruffled. She shook her head and got up, still a little dizzy. For a second her eyes reverted to a normal position before sliding back into their usual mismatched positions. Derpy looked up at the purple haired woman, head cocked to one side. She clambered up onto a stool next to her, and just leaned her head on her shoulder.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Leilanie Sowanaga Character Portrait: Derpy Hooves Character Portrait: Ramses Character Portrait: Old Man Sam Character Portrait: Captain Jonathan Bones
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#, as written by Karasz
Leilanie drank another cup of bock and slammed it down. Her vision is starting to feel blurry around her, and she's more aggressive than usual. "I... I don't need your symp..ha... *hic*... Goddamn... it...!!" Her drunken nature is showing. This is not a good sign at all. "In fact-- I ...*hic* I don't need... love.... fuck tha *hic*.... argghh..." She slammed more money on the counter and giving Old Man Sam a frightening stare, "MORE!!!!"