This emo vampire used to own a night club for zombies, but eventually he was thwarted by the Freelance Police. Now that he is a prisoner in Hell, he will stop at nothing to escape to the real world to make trouble once again.
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Jurgen
An escaped vampire from Hell.
0 · 875 views · located in 
Tracgam University
a character in “Fusion Fantasy Neo”, as played by Karasz
Description
So begins...
Jurgen's Story
Deep inside the underground lair lives a pale skinned ruler who is much different than the short people like the one that Qwark encountered before. He seems to be a dictactor, and he's damn proud of it. He chuckled behind his German accent while he sees his stubby slaves do all the work for him.
An orange beared dwarf arrives at the Dwarven Underground Lair where the pale skinned being under an alias of Skinnyhammer lives. The dwarf pants and pants until he catches his breath.
"Intruders... from the outside world..." The dwarf speaks, "My king, they have come to take our precious underground..."
"Oh, how intriguing." Skinnyhammer smiles, "I don't suppose they stakes with them, hmm?"
"Err.. No... Not what you're expecting, Sire."
"D'oh ho ho ho ho ho~, at least that's what I like to hear. Err... despite me being "not ze vampire" at sort of way."
"What are you talking about? You are the tallest dwarf after all. All the dwarves love you for your efforts to make every dwarf happy. We even bring gifts to honor your--"
"Yawn~," Jurgen simply said, "Just tell me- who are ze intruders? Ze Molemen? Ze heretics zat vant to overthrow me?"
"A wolf boy and a big green hulk, sir. It's just two of them--"
"VAT?!!!" Skinnyhammer gasps, "How did zese fools get here?! Zhey vill not squeal zat hothead on me again. I grew tired of living in ze underworld, so ze only one zhing left to do is to defend my freedom...
"Intruders... from the outside world..." The dwarf speaks, "My king, they have come to take our precious underground..."
"Oh, how intriguing." Skinnyhammer smiles, "I don't suppose they stakes with them, hmm?"
"Err.. No... Not what you're expecting, Sire."
"D'oh ho ho ho ho ho~, at least that's what I like to hear. Err... despite me being "not ze vampire" at sort of way."
"What are you talking about? You are the tallest dwarf after all. All the dwarves love you for your efforts to make every dwarf happy. We even bring gifts to honor your--"
"Yawn~," Jurgen simply said, "Just tell me- who are ze intruders? Ze Molemen? Ze heretics zat vant to overthrow me?"
"A wolf boy and a big green hulk, sir. It's just two of them--"
"VAT?!!!" Skinnyhammer gasps, "How did zese fools get here?! Zhey vill not squeal zat hothead on me again. I grew tired of living in ze underworld, so ze only one zhing left to do is to defend my freedom...
Another dwarf comes by to see Skinnyhammer and report him about more intruders. "Aye, my lord. a mushroom and his two human companions arrive in our domain. I say they know too much about our homelands."
"Ooh, more of zem? Well then, time to give zhem a good gloating. I believe I have plans for them." Skinnyhammer licks his lips in delight as he leaves his lair.
"Ooh, more of zem? Well then, time to give zhem a good gloating. I believe I have plans for them." Skinnyhammer licks his lips in delight as he leaves his lair.
"What in blazes?! THAT WOLF IS A DEMON!!!"
The dwarves scream and flee from the group and gone into hiding. When the ruler of Barroden and his dwarf minions arrive, he is appalled that his dwarf minions hide in their homes.
"Dumkuffs.." Skinnyhammer snaps his fingers, and the cowering dwarves peek out and pull out their weapons, "I suppose you intruders want to make this situation a little easier, ja?"
"Yes." Heavy said.
"Say, aren't you supposed to be stubby like the rest of them?" Captain Qwark asks.
"It's a... growth spurt! Do not question my body! I am ze ruler of Barroden!" Skinnyhammer hisses, "And you are welcome to stay with us for all eternity... Mwah hah hah hah hah hah!"
The dwarves scream and flee from the group and gone into hiding. When the ruler of Barroden and his dwarf minions arrive, he is appalled that his dwarf minions hide in their homes.
"Dumkuffs.." Skinnyhammer snaps his fingers, and the cowering dwarves peek out and pull out their weapons, "I suppose you intruders want to make this situation a little easier, ja?"
"Yes." Heavy said.
"Say, aren't you supposed to be stubby like the rest of them?" Captain Qwark asks.
"It's a... growth spurt! Do not question my body! I am ze ruler of Barroden!" Skinnyhammer hisses, "And you are welcome to stay with us for all eternity... Mwah hah hah hah hah hah!"
Zenmei turns his head toward Skinnyhammer while grabbing Rekinen off the ground. "What about your beard? What happened to that?"
Dr. Y picks up his weapons as well. Ramses only has the time to pick up his gauntlets and put them back on.
"In fact, I'd say you look more elvish than dwarvish," said Dr. Y. "No beard, tall and thin, pale complexion... those sound like elf traits to me."
OOC: While they may be obvious vampire traits to others, Dr. Y is trying to play on dwarf/elf hatred. and there may be other reasons
"In fact, I'd say you look more elvish than dwarvish," said Dr. Y. "No beard, tall and thin, pale complexion... those sound like elf traits to me."
OOC: While they may be obvious vampire traits to others, Dr. Y is trying to play on dwarf/elf hatred. and there may be other reasons
"An elf...?" The dwarves look at Jurgen, "We were worshiping an elf the entire time?! Gahhh!!"
"Now wait just a minute. Let's not get--" Skinnyhammer gulped, "Uhmm.. hasty there. Oh no..!! They're on to me!"
"I don't remember elves speaking German... right? I thought they speak Elvish.... or Elven?" Qwark scratches his head, "I don't know, both accents sound the same."
The Heavy picks up his minigun and starts spinning in front of Skinnyhammer. Skinnyhammer gulps again and screams like a little girl. He makes a run for it.
"THAT'D BE AN ELF! WE'VE BEEN DUPED!!" one dwarf screamed, "Of all the things we hate, it had to be those bloody elves! KILL THE IMPOSTER!!" The Dwarves chase Skinnyhammer and try to attack him. But all of a sudden, Skinnyhammer vanished. "Where did that blasted elf go?! Damn teleportin' magic powers."
"Who would've thought that dwarf king turn out to be a pale elf with a german accent?" Qwark chuckled, "Ooh boy."
"Now wait just a minute. Let's not get--" Skinnyhammer gulped, "Uhmm.. hasty there. Oh no..!! They're on to me!"
"I don't remember elves speaking German... right? I thought they speak Elvish.... or Elven?" Qwark scratches his head, "I don't know, both accents sound the same."
The Heavy picks up his minigun and starts spinning in front of Skinnyhammer. Skinnyhammer gulps again and screams like a little girl. He makes a run for it.
"THAT'D BE AN ELF! WE'VE BEEN DUPED!!" one dwarf screamed, "Of all the things we hate, it had to be those bloody elves! KILL THE IMPOSTER!!" The Dwarves chase Skinnyhammer and try to attack him. But all of a sudden, Skinnyhammer vanished. "Where did that blasted elf go?! Damn teleportin' magic powers."
"Who would've thought that dwarf king turn out to be a pale elf with a german accent?" Qwark chuckled, "Ooh boy."
Skinnyhammer teleports in the dwarves' secret room. There is a strange key hovering over the symbol much like Mt. Moon's.
"Good. I think I lost them. Ha ha ha~ They think they can outwit Jurgen?!" The cover was blown and grins deviously. He removes his disguise and notice the treasure around the symbol, "Oooh~ and what do we have here? Maybe I might take them as souvenirs."
"Good. I think I lost them. Ha ha ha~ They think they can outwit Jurgen?!" The cover was blown and grins deviously. He removes his disguise and notice the treasure around the symbol, "Oooh~ and what do we have here? Maybe I might take them as souvenirs."
Entering the dwarven treasure chambers, they find Hade and Jurgen in the same room together. Jurgen is unaware that Hades is behind him, and he picks up the key from the symbol.
"What is this thing? I never seen this before..." Jurgen scratches his head.
"Hey! Hold it right here!" Qwark screams, "Drop the key!"
"KEY?" Jurgen yelps and he does it anyway, "Uh... Can I help you with--" Then he sees Hades again, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cowardly vampire makes a run for it, but he ends up crashing into the wall and falls on his back, "Nieeenn! It's not fair! I thought I had it all. A dwarven army to worship my greatness.""
"What is this thing? I never seen this before..." Jurgen scratches his head.
"Hey! Hold it right here!" Qwark screams, "Drop the key!"
"KEY?" Jurgen yelps and he does it anyway, "Uh... Can I help you with--" Then he sees Hades again, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cowardly vampire makes a run for it, but he ends up crashing into the wall and falls on his back, "Nieeenn! It's not fair! I thought I had it all. A dwarven army to worship my greatness.""
"And now..." said a voice from the smoke as it cleared, "you got NOTHING."
The figure revealed is Hades, lord of the dead! Zenmei skidded to a stop upon seeing this.
"You've been runnin' away for long enough, Jurgen - and you know, the Underworld has rules against fugitives..." Hades conjured a ring of blue fire around Jurgen, blocking off any kind of magic transmission from him (including teleportation).
The figure revealed is Hades, lord of the dead! Zenmei skidded to a stop upon seeing this.
"You've been runnin' away for long enough, Jurgen - and you know, the Underworld has rules against fugitives..." Hades conjured a ring of blue fire around Jurgen, blocking off any kind of magic transmission from him (including teleportation).
"I don't want to go back! Have mercy on my--" Jurgen starts sobbing out vampire tears, "Waaaaaaaaahhh!!!!"
"Hah hah hah! That's what Heavy is talking about." Heavy chuckled, "Baby vampire is crying! You are quite something, fire man."
Captain Qwark picks up the Yuyake key and inspects it. He smiles that he got the thing he and his friends need. He looks at Hades for a moment and starts a conversation with him.
"So, still trying to nab the poor bugger as usual? Looks like you've been keeping on him ever since he got to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. Anyway, as you can tell, we are in a middle of a treasure hunt--"
"TREASURE HUNTING?! AWWW COME ON!!!" Jurgen screams.
"Hah hah hah! That's what Heavy is talking about." Heavy chuckled, "Baby vampire is crying! You are quite something, fire man."
Captain Qwark picks up the Yuyake key and inspects it. He smiles that he got the thing he and his friends need. He looks at Hades for a moment and starts a conversation with him.
"So, still trying to nab the poor bugger as usual? Looks like you've been keeping on him ever since he got to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. Anyway, as you can tell, we are in a middle of a treasure hunt--"
"TREASURE HUNTING?! AWWW COME ON!!!" Jurgen screams.
"No can do, hipster!" Hades retorted. "Securities are tightened this time, and you're gonna pull a double-shift!"
With that, Hades and Jurgen vanished in a burst of fire and smoke.
"Wow, uh..." Zenmei commented (wide-eyed), "that was...convenient."
In any case, Zen looks to the emblem from which the key came from.
With that, Hades and Jurgen vanished in a burst of fire and smoke.
"Wow, uh..." Zenmei commented (wide-eyed), "that was...convenient."
In any case, Zen looks to the emblem from which the key came from.
The symbols starts projecting holographic images in front of the gang. The icons are displayed as a crystal shard and star dust. The Heavy and Qwark can't put their heads or tails on this, but apparently they are thinking that the key can be found somewhere snowy.
"Crystals and star dust?" asked Dr. Y. "Ramses, you're an alien. What does that mean to you?"
"It means nothing I'm going to share," said Ramses. "My job was to help you find Qwark. My job is now complete. Now you pay me and I go back home a happy alien."
"It means nothing I'm going to share," said Ramses. "My job was to help you find Qwark. My job is now complete. Now you pay me and I go back home a happy alien."
The setting changes from Barroden to Hellborne Valley
Jurgen and Hades appear from a flaming portal and Jurgen is in demonic chains around his wrists. He groans miserably and sees the lord of all evil Satan, but... something doesn't seem right in an ironic sense.
"For the last time, I will not do your dirty work! I try and try again, but you never let me have any fun......." Jurgen glares at Satan again, "Well?! Are you here to gloat again?! Do you want me to give you a sponge bath, do janitorial work, or even walk your stupid three-headed dog again?!"
It seems that Satan has been turned to stoneall because of he can't win a tug-o-war against two japanese school girls. There is a briefcase on the side.
"What...?"
"For the last time, I will not do your dirty work! I try and try again, but you never let me have any fun......." Jurgen glares at Satan again, "Well?! Are you here to gloat again?! Do you want me to give you a sponge bath, do janitorial work, or even walk your stupid three-headed dog again?!"
It seems that Satan has been turned to stone
"What...?"
Hades is also surprised at this turn of events. "Oh...my. {to Jurgen} ...Well? You gonna get that case?" Just to make sure, Hades points a fiery finger at Jurgen.
"Aye..! Okay...!!"
Jurgen picks up the case and opens it. Inside the case has a screen on top, and has a playback interface on the bottom. An antenna pops up from the briefcase and starts blinking. It shows an image of Handsome Jack, who apparently had something to do with Satan.
"Hey, less-important-person. This is a message to the Lord of the Dead. If you're him the-"
*BEEP*
"Well look who decided to open the case! Hades, Hades, Hades~ long time no see! Listen, I had just want to say thank you for keeping my soul in the depths of Hellborne. It was truly an honor working with you. Y'know, taking your three-headed mutt out and giving the lord of all evil a foot massage... good times, man! Oh, and just for keeping me motivated on turning over a new leaf, I decided to give you something in return. Hope you like presents!"
Robots fall from the sky and crash onto the surface, revealing HOT Loaders and GUN Loaders. They all eye on Hades, Jurgen, and Satan's minions.
"Nothing personal, Hades! I do like you, but I don't want you to interfere with our little operation. And I rather let my soul be free from your cooking oven you call "home". But hey, I'll come back to Hellborne and pick up my statue as my new trophy once my toys are done with you. Until then, so long sucker!"
"TARGET DETECTED" The GUN Loader opens fire.
Jurgen picks up the case and opens it. Inside the case has a screen on top, and has a playback interface on the bottom. An antenna pops up from the briefcase and starts blinking. It shows an image of Handsome Jack, who apparently had something to do with Satan.
"Hey, less-important-person. This is a message to the Lord of the Dead. If you're him the-"
*BEEP*
"Well look who decided to open the case! Hades, Hades, Hades~ long time no see! Listen, I had just want to say thank you for keeping my soul in the depths of Hellborne. It was truly an honor working with you. Y'know, taking your three-headed mutt out and giving the lord of all evil a foot massage... good times, man! Oh, and just for keeping me motivated on turning over a new leaf, I decided to give you something in return. Hope you like presents!"
Robots fall from the sky and crash onto the surface, revealing HOT Loaders and GUN Loaders. They all eye on Hades, Jurgen, and Satan's minions.
"Nothing personal, Hades! I do like you, but I don't want you to interfere with our little operation. And I rather let my soul be free from your cooking oven you call "home". But hey, I'll come back to Hellborne and pick up my statue as my new trophy once my toys are done with you. Until then, so long sucker!"
"TARGET DETECTED" The GUN Loader opens fire.