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Elix Straumm

FALCONNNNNNN QUOOOTTTTEEEEEEE!!!

0 · 128 views · located in Earth

a character in “HMSTCK”, originally authored by PulseTrick, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

Full Name: Elix Straumm
Screen Name: dashingFalcon
Mythical Role: Prince of Life
Typing Style: Attempting to keep proper grammar, but missing capitalization every second sentence. when entering a chat begins greeting with FALCON ENTRY!!!. While break out with a FALCON [verb/adjective/noun] when emphasizing a point.
Personality: Elix is ruthless, a trait that has haunted him, as he could never end what should have. He makes friends only to further himself, but holds onto them a bit longer than expected. Elix thinks highly of himself, is completely insensitive, and is arrogant to boot.
Appearance Description: With messy Blonde hair and green eyes covered with glasses, Elix looks the part of Dashing Annhialator that he has tried so hard to fit into, lest of all succeed in donning this self-grown title. He is dramatic and begrudging, and others see him as conceited and self-absorbed, but he in return blames htis on his large amount of "Friends", which none of he really likes.
Fetch Modus: Back pack modus. When faced with a challenge, the modus offers him three different items to use. If it was raining, it would suggest Cake, An umbrella, and scissors, because it thought it would be a good idea to cut the rain.
Strife Specibus:HevyGauntletkind- Avid Boxer and puts rocks in his gloves for training.
Sburb Player Planet: The land of Snow and Melody
Backstory: Elix has never to been able to say no. Nobody cared about what he thought, they just shoved it onto him without caring. So he stopped caring. He didn't value their friendship, but he was too scared to end it. In result he has a hidden ruthlessness he developed from not finishing things that he should have that he shows to destroy his friendships unwillingly. So instead he goes to the internet, and finds some friends, he hears about a game called sBurb, to which he could play to finally get away in what had described itself as an "immersible experience".

So begins...

Elix Straumm's Story

Setting

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Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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Elix startled awake, a breath of cold air rushed in from an open window. Sitting up, he closed the window, then groped blindly around the floor for a shirt. Finding one he pulled it on over him, allowing for him to resist the chilly hell that was his home. He made his way to the kitchen, where he found a note that read:
"A package came in the mail for you-Pop"
His father had left it for him, great. Under the note was the afore mentioned package. He ripped it open to see a copy of sBurb, an item that he had coveted ever since he had learnt about it from his friends. This was going to be awesome. No more friendships from the real world that he would have to deal with, no person that he could fear of being stabbed in the back by that was untouchable themselves. It was the equal playing field that he desired. No actual damage done of course. He would hate to have killed anybody if anything.
"Couldn't everybody just live in peace and harmony" Elix mumbled as he inserted the disc into the tray of his laptop. He pushed his heavy bag over to make more room, and the system booted up. He opened Pesterchum

dashingFalcon [DU] has signed on. FALCON LOGIN!!!

He had dived into pesterchums data to customize his login sequence. It was pitiful, but still a nice touch. He had a certain affiliation with a certain captain, as posters of him encompassed his room. The enthusiasm penetrated his personality online to become a confident, outgoing leader. Which was contrast to his quiet, inward self, who couldn't help but put off things. It was a nice change, not being himself; throwing a charade instead changing his personality, much easier.

A couple of his friends were online, and the game was ready to install.

Oh, this was going to be good.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Keni Howard Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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As another log in notification bleeped on her screen, Keni turned down her radio. It was dashingFalcon. Shrugging lightly, he turned her attention back to the downloading game.

57% Downloaded.

Smiling to herself, Keni looked over to Bella, who was dozing lazily on her bed.

"What do you think, Bella?" She asked. "Shall I see if the Captain has got his copy yet?"

Bella grumbled sleepily, stretching before rolling onto her back and begging for a tummy rub.

The setting changes from Homestuck to Earth

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Callus Velares Character Portrait: Fastus Captio Character Portrait: Keni Howard Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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#, as written by Daxion
valdephonousHost [VH] opened memo on board TEAM NAME PENDING, COMMUNICATION ENGAGE, IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
valdephonousHost [VH] invited rocketingHeir [RH], dashingFalcon [DF] and smilingUrsurper [SU] to post in memo.
VH: Greetings everyone. I assume that you have all received a copy of Sburb?
VH: Let me rephrase. Whether or not you have the disk “now” is not important.
VH: You all WILL receive the game. This is clear. I shall thus continue accordingly.
VH: Now then,
VH: What you must first do is obtain a “server” player.
VH: My “client” player is, as of now, rocketingHeir.
VH: This means that I am his server player.
VH: Having a server player is essential to completing the game.
VH: If you ARE a server player, you must place or “deploy” certain objects so that your client player can progress. This is done using a type of currency known as “grist”.
VH: The object are, in no particular order:
VH: Cruxtruder, Totem Lathe, Punch Designix and Alchemiter.
VH: As well, you must deploy a special “Pre-punched card”.
VH: These objects must be operated in order. I shall explain.
VH: Upon opening your Cruxtruder, a Kernelsprite is released. This sprite can combine with, or prototype itself with, any object it touches, up to 3 total. This changes the sprite’s appearance and capabilities. Be warned, it has a particular affinity to go after those who are, or will soon be, deceased.
VH: Once the sprite is released, Cruxite Dowels can then be extracted from the Cruxtruder.
VH: Using punched cards (acquired by entering captchalogue cards into the Punch Designix) and a Dowel on the Totem Lathe will shape the Dowel in a...unique pattern.
VH: This Dowel can then be entered into the Alchemiter and create the object on the card that was originally placed into the Lathe, assuming you have enough grist to pay.
VH: If you overlap cards when placing them into the Totem Lathe, it will combine the objects on the cards.
VH: When using the pre-punched card in this entire process, it eventually creates a “Cruxite Artifact” which will assist in transporting you to the next stage of the game and away from the Reckoning.
VH: Oh, that reminds me. I almost forgot to mention something rather important.
VH: When you open the Cruxtruder, it sets off a sort of timer. When this countdown reaches 0...
VH: Well, lets just say it’s not pleasant.
VH: This “Reckoning” is not an obstacle you can fight, just one you can run away from.
VH: That about wraps up the explanation of the game so far.
VH: Ta ta for now.
valdephonousHost [VH]
ceased responding to memo.

The instructions had been laid out, clear as day. There was very little chance that anyone could mess this up. If they did...Fastus shuddered to think of the enormous amount of time he would have to spend gathering another party and get another set of disks. No, these would have to do.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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dashingFalcon[DF] has responded to the memo
DF: Oh god, so this isn't a hook up after training session game?
DF: this is such a FALCON SURPrISE.
DF: Oh wait, maybe I FALCON CAN
DF: but this whole sprite thing is pretty cool.
DF: Justifies me owning one polar bear rug.
DF: get ready for BEARSPRITE!!!
DF: Oh and I call smilingUrsurper for a server player. FALCON DIBBS
DF: p.s. team name shall be team SMILINGROCKETFALCONHOST
DF: P.s.s #swag #yolo #FALCON

The setting changes from Earth to Alternia

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Callus Velares Character Portrait: Danavel Maujī Character Portrait: Zuriik Taroql Character Portrait: Fastus Captio Character Portrait: Keni Howard Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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#, as written by Daxion
Zuriik awoke, quite suddenly. There was no slow sequence, just a quick return to consciousness. Just the feeling of being submerged. Zuriik opened his eyes to an expanse of dark looking green. “Sopor. But it’s been diluted or something. It’s like, weaker now.” he thought to himself. He reached his hands out of the slimy concoction and pulled himself above the surface. With a deep breath of fresh air, he lurched forward, falling out of the Recuperacoon with a wet splotch, waking up a slumbering Freddy in the corner. “What the fuck!? Oh, Zuriik. You’re awake. Wait. You’re...awake? Holy shit, you’re awake. Huzzah!”

“Save the applause Fred, I’m a little wiped out at the moment.” Zuriik rolled onto his back, wheezing with exhaustion at the minor effort of movement after a long time if being stationary. "Fuck. How long was I out?"

"Like three days man, give or take."

"That long, huh?"

"What happened to you? You kinda died there for a minute."

"Yeah, about that..." Zuriik began to explain the tale of what he had experienced while unconscious, with the exception of his crazy dreams. As he did so, he steadily moved more and more until he could stand on his own. He went through a rudimentary yoga routine to wake up his muscles more, Freddy just standing by and listening to his story. "...so that's really it."

"Woah."

"Hey Freddy?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Where are my clothes?"

It was as if he noticed for the first time that Zuriik was covered in slime and wearing only his underwear. He blushed, his cheeks coloring in with teal. "Oh. Uh. Right. Sorry. They're over here, let me go get them." He left the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

Zuriik was alone in the makeshift bedroom, at least for now. It wasn't very nice by many standards, but for him it was. Besides the Recuperacoon, it had a table and chest. Freddy entered the room then, laying a pile of clothes and a towel down on the table and scurrying away again. Zuriik wiped himself off and dressed, exiting the room into the hallway, which lead into the transportalizer hub. Freddy stood right, nervously twiddling his thumbs. “Hey, Fred. I’ve got a quick question or two. Cool?”

“Yeah, sure man.”

“The crabby troll. What’s his name?”

“That’s Karkat.”

“Blind chick?”

“Terezi.”

“Dude with the metal legs?”

“Tavros.”

“Polite and proper girl with a chainsaw?”

“Kanaya.”

“Drugged up clown?”

“Danavel.”

“The one whose name I don’t know.”

“Ah, then Gamzee.”

“Strong one who is also a mechanic?”

“Equius.”

“Glub girl and duality psychic.”

“Feferi and Sollux.”

“Douchefins?”

“Probably Eridan.”

“Spiderbitch.”

“Definitely Vriska. So I guess that leaves-”

“Nepeta.”

“-Nepeta. Wait...how do you already know her name?”

“Don’t you remember? I told you, I met her on Derse before we entered The Medium.”

After a moment or two of thinking, realization covered Freddy’s face as he put two and two together. “She’s the cat-troll!”

“What? Of course she is. How have you just now figured this out?”

“Well, I was a little too busy making sure you didn’t kill yourself in your sleep or anything.”

“And yet you managed to recall all their names.”

“I’ve got a really good memory for names.” Freddy punched Zuriik’s shoulder. “Dude, you’re on the same asteroid as the girl of your dreams! Kinda literally your dreams to.”

“Yes, I know. Just...don’t tell anyone about the whole...fact that I’m super flushed for her, okay?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“You didn’t already tell anyone about that, did you?”

“Nah bro, I just told them about The Pain and the visions, at least as much as you told me. I didn’t think you’d want me to tell anyone about your long distance flush-crush or anything.”

“Thanks man.”

“Anytime. So what now?”

“I’m going to go introduce myself again, I suppose. Then just play it by ear.”

“Oh, by the way, Karkat wanted to talk to you about something when you woke up. Well...he said if...but you get the idea. You sure you’re okay to be up and walking?”

“I’ll be fine. Later Freddy.”

“Later Zuriik.”

The two of them parted ways, Freddy heading back to who knows where while his friend stepped into the computer room through a transportalizer. Most of the trolls were present, either typing on chat windows or just sitting around. Nepeta wasn’t there for whatever reason, neither was Freddy of course. Equius was also absent, though everyone else who could be accounted for was. Gale and Danavel seemed to have integrated themselves rather well, they looked like a part of the one big happy family that were currently living their lives on an asteroid in the middle of nowhere. One big happy fucking lie. The crabmeister himself was seated in front of a computer, deep in typed conversation. No one really noticed Zuriik when entered, nor when he walked behind Karkat. From his vantage point over the cancer’s shoulder, Zuriik could see who Karkat was talking to. Whoever the guy was, he looked pretty alien. Weird colored skin, no horns, typing in sky blue of all colors.
“So these are the humans I’ve heard about, huh?”

Karkat jumped a foot in the air, whirling around to face Zuriik. “Fuck! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” His face was slightly flushed with red and he looked as if he had just been caught with his pants down.

“Whatcha doin there Karkat? Having some kind of crossdimensional interspecies hate-date?”

“No! It’s purely platonic. Wait. You’re one of the new guys, aren’t you?”

“Zuriik is the name you are looking for.”

“Right. Didn’t you die or something?”

Zuriik shrugged. “I got better.”

“And how do you know my name?”

He tapped his temple, sitting down in a nearby chair as he did so. “Visions, remember? I used to see the future.”

“Used to?”

“Yeah. Turns out the whole thing was some crazy scheme by a dick future version of myself. I told him to knock it off.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Sort of preaching to the choir about the assholish future self.”

“Oh,” Zuriik replied sarcastically, “so your future self ruined your life by mutating you into a freak and giving you daily doses of extreme suffering? And I thought I was the only one.”

" I'm sure you had a tough fucking life, you don't have to be a dick about it."

Refusing to respond, Zuriik instead scanned the room, looking at the various trolls who were doing - in his view - fuck all. "So why contact the humans anyway? What's up with that?"

"We're trying to...help them...sort of."

"Why? What's so important about them?"

"You know how you get a universe if you win Sgrub?"

"Not until now. Never really got that far in the game."

"The humans are our universe's inhabitants. We...got shut out of our prize by this guy, Jack Noir. And now we're stuck on this stupid asteroid."

"Right." The transportalizer flared into life behind Zuriik as a troll left the room (probably Tavros by the clanking sound he made). "So why did you want to see me anyway?"

"Just wanted to tell you to stay out of trouble. And don't fuck around with the humans. This is a very delacate process, any wrong word could potentially screw up the entire thing."

"Got it, later Karkat." Zuriik turned and left the red-blooded troll. Since there was a computer open, he decided to completely ignore Karkats orders and talk to some humans anyway. He sat down and pulled out his computer goggles to copy over his Trollian account. As he was rummaging around his inventory, attempting to balance out the scales, Zuriik noticed that Clockwork was doing some weird stuff in his strife specibus. He pulled out the red scythe after his goggles, examining Clockwork. The blade was now marked with some sort of digital display, steadily counting down. "The fuck is this?" he asked of no one in particular.

“Clockwork is out of charge.” echoed a voice out of nowhere. Zuriik leapt a foot in the air and looked around, attempting to locate the source of the sound. “This is The Ensightened. I am speaking to you in your mind. As I was saying, your scythe has run out of power. The ability you used to travel through paradox space is incredibly powerful and Clockwork needs some time...and some Time to repair itself.”

“I thought I told you never to talk to me again.” Zuriik mumbled under his breath.

“You need some guidance at the moment. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you what path you should take in the future, I place that responsibility in your hands now. And all that that responsibility entails. I just decided to step in and give you a little tip about Clockwork, seeing as how I have mastered the weapon much more than you have. You see the little switch there by the base? Flick it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about...oh. I didn’t know that was there.” He did as he was told and a small cord popped out of the blunt end of the scythe. “Plug that into your computer.” Zuriik followed directions and pushed the male bit of the cord into the female port in the computer. Every computer in the entire room shut off, going dark for a moment. After a couple of seconds, they turned on again, amidst a multitude of “what the fuck?”s and the single “what the glub?” Thankfully, nothing seemed to be lost, so no troll was the wiser. Except for Zuriik. His chat window had quite strangely been taken over by a list of twenty-digit number and letter combinations, some in different colors as well. “This is a directory of different contactable human sessions, all playing their equivalent of Sgrub. The red ones signify off limits sessions and that one green one there is the session that your new...friends are contacting.”

“So what about the blue one?”

“I’m not really sure about the blue session. It’s somewhat important in the grand scheme of things, but my vision is blurred in that section of space and time. I’d suggest not messing with that one”

Zuriik grinned at this. “As much as I would love to disobey Karkat’s orders, I think that that ignoring your advice is a hundred times more fun.” He moved his cursor over to the blue session’s code and clicked once. After a short loading screen, his chat window now showed four unfamiliar screen names. “valdephonousHost, rocketingHeir, dashingFalcon and smilingUrsurper. So these are some humans huh?” There was no response from The Ensightened. Zuriik shugged and prepared to contact one of the humans when four more names were suddenly added to the list.

“Here. I thought you might like it if you could both ignore me and disobey Karkat at the same time.”

“That’s quite considerate of you. Wait, why would you want me to go against Karkat?”

“I’m you, remember? I was just as sick of his authority as you are, or will be. Might as well let you get some good laughs in before the shit hits the whirling device.”

“Alright. So you’ve started seeing things from my point of view, huh?”

“Not really. I still think you’re being a total idiot. But you’ll come around eventually. No reason to rush things.”

“Whatever. Can you stop talking to me now, I’m in the mood to contact some aliens.” Silence on the other end of the mind-o-phone. Awesome. It was time to get to work. Or play, rather.

slayronicJustiscythe [SJ] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

[SJ]: m4ats nb, stnbiq 4nwau?
[EB]: um. excuse me?
[EB]: what?

[SJ]: [I said: What’s up, stupid human?]
[EB]: oh. well, i’m doing pretty well. it’s my twelfth birthday and all.
[SJ]: m4at t43 fnck is a pirt4qay?
[EB]: It’s like...a celebration of when you were born.
[EB]: seriously, you don’t know what a birthday is?

[SJ]: m3ll, trolls qou’t r3ally 4ave pist4qays. me 4ave mriggliug qays iust3aq.
[EB]: uh...okay?
[EB]: so you’re another troll, huh?

[SJ]: piugo.
[EB]: are you going to be mean to me too?
[SJ]: m4at? m4y moulq i qo t4at?
[EB]: because every other troll i have talked to has.
[EB]: so not all of you are mean? i thought that was kind of a troll thing.

[SJ]: …
[EB]: what?
[SJ]: [Cutting out the typing quirk for a second, what the actual fuck?]
[SJ]: [Are you really just that much of a stupid racist fuckhead to think that our entire species is a whole congregations of assholes?]
[SJ]: [Alright, granted a good percentage of them are guilty of that. But not all. There are plenty of considerate and kind trolls too.]
[SJ]: [You’d better fucking recognize that before you get on the wrong side of a psychotic highblood.]

[EB]: yeah, i’ll be honest. i understood none of that.
[SJ]: …
[SJ]: m4at’s yonr uaw3 auymay?

[EB]: my uaw3?
[SJ]: [Name. What’s your stupid fucking human name?]
[EB]: john egbert. nice to meet you! :)
[SJ]: 4oly fnck t4at is a stnbiq uaw3.
[EB]: hey! i thought you said you were going to be nice!
[SJ]: i said uot4iug of t43 sort. put...
[SJ]: 43llo John 4nwau. wy uaw3 is Zuriik Taroql.

[EB]: and you called my name wierd?
[SJ]: it’s a watter of b3rsb3ctiv3.
[EB]: alright, whatever. :)
[SJ]: y3a4. (: to yon too.
[EB]: so what do you want anyway?
[SJ]: 7nst maut3q to 43lb yon ont a littl3 pit. mit4 iuforwatiou auq snc4.
[SJ]: so m4at qo yon maut to kuom?

[EB]: out of anything?
[SJ]: ynb.
[EB]: um...
[EB]: what’s the meaning of life?

[SJ]: liv3.
[EB]: just live? that’s kinda...
[EB]: simple.

[SJ]: it’s life, uot a fnckiug riqql3.
[EB]: i thought life was a riddle.
[SJ]: i qou’t t4iuk so. i w3au. i’w uot r3ally oue to talk t4ong4.
[SJ]: i w3au. i’v3 liv3q wy 3utir3 lif3 for lov3. so y3a4.
[SJ]: i gn33s lif3 is w4at yon wak3 of it.

[EB]: aww. that’s really cute. :)
[SJ]: m4at?
[EB]: you’ve lived your life for love? that’s such an adorable thing to say.
[SJ]: …
[SJ]: John 4nwau?

[EB]: yeah?
[SJ]: s4nt t43 fnck nb.
[EB]: oh.
[SJ]: (:
[EB]: oh!
[EB]: well you shut the fuck up too zuriik! :)

[SJ]: rig4t. i’ll l3av3 yon for uom t43u. lat3r John.
[EB]: alright, see you later man.

slayronicJustiscythe [SJ] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]

The setting changes from Alternia to Earth

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Callus Velares Character Portrait: Fastus Captio Character Portrait: Keni Howard Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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#, as written by Daxion
valdephonousHost [VH] began responding to memo.
[VH]: Attention everyone. It is now time to begin the next stage of the game.
[VH]: And Elix? I do apologize, but I have already procured Miss Howard as my Server Player.
[VH]: Though I do believe she is still in need of a Server Player herself. And Callus is still open for a Client Player. I’m sure you three can work something out.
[VH]: As for the next steps you all must go through...
[VH]: I do believe it is time that we all met in person.
[VH]: That’s right, in person. For the first time.
[VH]: Once everyone has both a Server and Client player, all of us may advance through the gateways and meet up at one of our player planets.
[VH]: Does anyone have any suggestions of whose Land we should all convene at?

rocketingHeir [RH] began responding to memo.
[RH]: We're finally starting.
[RH]: This is going to be awesome.
[RH]: I'm guessing the chain would go like this.
[RH]: SU->VH->RH->DF
[RH]: Probably a land with a little amount of monsters, so we aren't bothered.

[VH]: Yes, that order seems fairly accurate.
[VH]: At least, it will be eventually, once everything is worked out.

dashingFalcon [DF] began responding to the memo.
[DF]: Hey, guys, quick question.
[DF]:i need some FALCON ASSISTANCE RIGHT NOW!
[DF]: Could you help me get out of this FALCON JAM?
[VH]: Depends on your problem. Though I would most likely be willing and ready to assist.
[VH]: Although...Miss Howard is the closest to your land. Perhaps she would be of more help than I would.
[VH]: Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
[VH]: First, what is the nature of your issue?

[DF]: oh you know, just the usual FALCON STRIFE
[DF]: It's just that now they keep respawning too fast.
[DF]: i need to get to my kernel sprite to alchemize something, then I should be set.
[DF]: I need time.
[RH]: I'll help, but give me a bit of time to prepare.
[VH]: Hm. Well that seemed to work itself out rather quickly.
[VH]: How very convenient.
[VH]: I suppose it might be even more convenient if we were to all meet up at...
[VH]: Whatever Elix's land is.
[VH]: Wait.
[VH]: Right, Land of Snow and Melody.
[VH]: I..."forgot", for a moment.
[VH]: Heh.
[VH]: Anyways, I do believe that we should all join each other there.
[VH]: Oh, and another thing.
[VH]: I finally figured out my role.
[VH]: It's the Seer of Hope.
[VH]: I was correct in assuming Seer anyways.
[VH]: Has anyone else had any luck with guessing theirs?
[VH] Their roles, that is.

[RH]: I've had a lot of clues pertaining to mine, so I would be pretty stupid to not know what my role is.
[RH]: I'm guessing heir of space.
[RH]: I don't know what that means, but it seem the most possible combination of role and aspect.

[VH]: Good. I certainly hope that you are correct.
[VH]: As long as we have a player of Space in our session, our victory is practically assured.
[VH]: Assured and cemented as fact.
[VH]: Though it would be quite nice to also have a hero of Time as well.

[DF]: Uhh guys, sorry to break this to you, but you might not want to come over here
[DF]: you see, everything is FALCON DEAD.
[DF]: Except for Bear sprite, he's still here.
[DF]: so if you are going to come here, you gotta be extra FALCON CAREFUL.
[RH]: Oh, damn.
[RH]: Must be a rocketing problem.
[RH]: How about the boss, is it dead?

[VH]: ...
[VH]: I'm sorry, but...what?
[VH]: Why, exactly, is everything dead?
[VH]: What happened, pray tell?

[DF]: Well, it may have to do with my FALCON TITLE.
[DF]: from what I FALCON GATHERED, the prince of life just had to kill things.
[DF]: I just started beating stuff up, then suddenly the ground under me started to come alive and eat stuff.
[DF]: so, do any of you know how to FALCON FLY?
[VH]: Oh dear.
[VH]: That does pose a problem.
[VH]: Huh.
[VH]: I think I may have an idea.
[VH]: I do believe I am available to present a form of...
[VH]: Hope. in a sense.
[VH]: I shall make my way to your land, Elix.
[VH]: Once there...well, you'll see.
[VH]: I am in a certain mood at present moment.
[VH]: The mood to...as one might say...
[VH]: Drop some ill beats.
[VH]: That shall allow us to all 'hang out' at LOSAM
[VH]: So then, I shall make my way there now.
[VH]: Oh, Elix, I shall require you to connect to Miss Howard as her Server Player before I will be able to finilize my journey to your land.
[VH]: Would you please kindly do so with all hasty capability?
[VH]: Oh, that's my cue to leave the stage.
[VH]: See you all in the next scene.

valdephonousHost [VH] ceased responding to memo.

Fastus was ready. He smiled, finalizing the last of his alchemized creations. Besides for creating a neat pair of computer glasses, he had accumulated a good triad of powerful (or they looked powerful anyways) weapons. First, there was his Poolsichord. It was really just an array of pool balls that play notes when struck with the white key that came with it or an object that has been struck by the white key or an object that has been-etc. The notes themselves had some sort of magic powers though, or something like magic. The music had blew a hole in his living room while he was testing it out. Next, the Grand Gauntlets. The two gloves could conjure a playable floating keyboard in mid air. Again, the music generated by the instrument was extremely strong. The last was his Net of Lies. As its name suggested, it was a net. When thrown, however, it became large enough to form a sort of cage around his target - a lame stuffed animal in this case. The ‘bars’ of the ‘cage’ were a little bit like strings of a harp, able to be played. Whatever notes were created only affected the inside of the net. Thankfully, he hadn’t really liked the stuffed animal anyway. And now he stood at the door to his home, inventory packed and Fastus dressed in his finest suit. His hand had only brushed the door handle when he heard his sister snore loudly behind him. The poor slob was still passed out on the couch, a bottle of some alcoholic beverage clenched tightly in her hand. She had remained asleep during this entire Sburb ordeal, her booze-induced coma letting her remain completely ignorant to the current state of her environment. Fastus felt no sympathy for her, no reason to turn and feel regretful about leaving this human train wreck alone. But he did, without a clue why. Fastus crossed the room and pried the bottle out of his incapacitated guardian’s hand, tossing it through the hole in the wall. His sister let out a tiny groan, shifting in her sleep. Her brother sighed, running a hand ambivalently through his well-styled hair. Finally, he picked up the head of the stuffed bear he had exploded earlier, placing it into his sister's arms in place of the bottle. She took it and rolled over, turning her back to Fastus. The younger, although more mature, Captio turned his back as well, though he was doing so consciously. With a second sigh, he left his home. He walked straight forward, eyes moist for reasons he couldn’t explain, pulling up his glasses and wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. “No weakness.” he reminded himself.

After locating the first gate, the second one wasn’t too hard to find. Fastus passed through it and into the Land of Quartz and Art. He let out a low whistle, this place was actually pretty nice looking. A house stood alone amongst the barren landscape of rock. He approached it, walking right up to the door and hesitating for a moment - taking a good second or two to re-adjust his appearance - before knocking on the closed home portal. “Miss Howard!?” he called loudly. “Are you in there?! It’s me, valdephonusHost! Or, Fastus, if you prefer!”

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Character Portrait: Callus Velares Character Portrait: Elix Straumm
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Elix was typing furiously into his computer. His hands were shaking as he attempted to connect with Keni.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." He made a connection, barely in time before a very large Ogre-bear bursted through his bedroom door.
"Now that i am FALCON FINISHED with that for the moment, you are going to get FALCON PUMMELED whateverthehellyouare." He charged it, his Axyouaquestion Guntlets, complete with axes on his hands, shining by the 20-hour daylight of his land. He threw an uppercut at the ogre, and watched it fly out of his room, over the railing, and land in the living room. He dived over said railing, and sliced off it's head, revelling in the grist and other materials that were produced from the fresh kill.

After stepped outside, and was welcomed with even more enemies, this time Imps. He dodged, cathcing one in the stomach to let it burst with grist. He smiled, as it poured out. Sweet, sweet grist. A few started attacking him all at once, and he weaved through them, cracking them all over the skull. IT was getting boring though, so he opted to just punch his way to safety, so that he could meet an unidentified flying... Player? Interesting.

"FALCON GREETINGS"