{“Contrary to what we may have been taught to think, unnecessary and unchosen suffering wounds us but need not scar us for life. It does mark us.
What we allow the mark of our suffering to become is in our own hands.” }
-Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
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Shailene Arielle Dixon
|Nickname|
Shay {Most common]; Lia {Common}; Elle {Mostly by her subscribers and followers, and sometimes friends}; Dixie {Least liked; when someone is trying to be funny}
|Birthday|
November 3rd {11/03/1991}
|Age|
"Yes, I know, I know - I'm old. Get over it."
Twenty three {23}
|Nationality|
Jamaican-American {50% Jamaican; 25% English; 15% French; 10% German}
|Occupation|
Before anything, Shailene is an activist and faithful vlogger. While, yes, her performing is her number one, she doesn't feel like she's doing much of anything if she's not inspiring and informing the people that follow her. So, she stays active on all of her social media sites and posts videos at least three times a week, if not more. However, she is also a model and dancer, and even helps out at Jeremy's studio for another source of income. However, she is also an up-and-coming singer.
|Sexuality|
Pansexual|| Heteromantic
|Apartment Number|
"You got a problem with that?"
1B
|Hometown|
Brooklyn, NY
{“I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.” }
-Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl
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5'4 & 125 lbs
|Build|
Slim and curvy
|Skin Tone|
Caramel
|Hair Color|
Dark brown {0 - 15 yrs}; Light brown with blonde highlights {15 - 16 yrs}; Warm brown with with varying highlights like blues, pinks, and purples {16 - 19 yrs}; Near platinum blonde {19 - 20 yrs}; Light golden blonde {20 - present}
|Eye Color|
Olive-green
|Significant Marks|
Shailene has three tattoos: one, two, and three (which is on her right ankle).
|Fashion Style|
If you ask Shailene, her favorite thing to wear would be a basic tee shirt, preferably with her favorite band or video game on it, some sweats, and some Timberland boots. And if she could, she would wear such an attire to every event. However, one look in her closet (or even just her hair) and you know that she's not a woman who does not express herself. Actually, despite how quiet or aloof she comes off, Shailene would never hesitate in expressing herself. She's definitely more of an urban chic type of girl. Shailene favors patterns and prints, oftentimes throwing in a little boho-casual items in her attire. Such can be seen in this, this, and this. At the end of the day, however, Shailene is a lot more casual than any magazine cover will portray and would rather something like this and this. In a more professional setting like interviews and meetings, she could be seen in this and this. Everything she wears makes a statement, even her hair. Before, she experimented with several different shades and lengths, including extensions. For now, however, it is a medium cut (shoulder length) and a light golden blonde shade.
{“Not knowing you can't do something, is sometimes all it takes to do it.” }
-Ally Carter
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▪Cleans when stressed or frustrated ▪Refers to herself as 'womanist' rather than 'feminist' ▪Twirls strands of her hair when near someone she is attracted to ▪When she's concentrating on something, she almost always has earphones in her ears ▪Is a light sleeper ▪Plays the guitar to get over writer's block ▪Does lip trills when she is bored ▪Almost always is picking up after her roommates ▪Clenches her hands tightly or holds the object in her hands tightly when she's close to getting angry ▪Whenever she's arguing with someone, she almost always pokes them at some point as if to drive her point home
|Talents(T) | Strengths(ST) | Skills(SK) |
⚘Business meetings and professional settings ⚘Writing {scholarly and creative} ⚘Reads very quickly ⚘Very organized and punctual ⚘Fluent in English and Spanish ⚘Very fit due to studying dance {ballet, modern, and jazz} ⚘Getting stuff done under pressure ⚘Cooking ⚘Planning meetings and events ⚘Keeping track of dates and the schedule for deadlines ⚘Playing the guitar and reading music ⚘Singing {Her voice} ⚘Very well read ⚘Great memory
|Flaws/Weakness|
⚘Not always willing to show how vulnerable she is ⚘Almost always appears uninterested or unapproachable when out and about ⚘Typically internalizes her feelings until she explodes ⚘Does not always like admitting when she's wrong ⚘Is not too great at simply 'chilling out' ⚘Has bad anxiety and tends to become moodier even though she adds more things on her plate ⚘Her family and friends ⚘Sometimes takes on more than her health is willing to handle ⚘A bit of a pushover and easy to convince to do certain tasks, despite anything she'd tell you
|Hobbies|
▪Singing and playing the guitar ▪Reading fanfiction ▪Blogging, and writing short stories and lyrics ▪Sleeping ▪Solving crossword puzzles ▪Dancing, even if it's just goofing off
|Fears|
øSexual abuse øBeing considered 'damaged goods' by someone she could really care about øNot being capable of falling in love øWalking along alleyways or streets at night
|Secrets|
✤Rape✤
It's not much of a secret, she just doesn't talk about it often. When Shailene was attending Spelman College, one of her Morehouse brothers raped her when she was visiting his new apartment. When she pursued a court trial, Morehouse's system was not on her side and in a way, blamed her for the incident. With him not willing to admit that he was in the wrong and the half-hearted attempts from the institution, Shailene became just another statistic in the system. Since then, she's been advocating against sexual violence on YouTube and her various blogs.
✤Never Been In Love✤
Just as it says, she has never been in love with anyone and hasn't told anyone she loves them other than family and close friends.
✤Adoption✤
Again, this isn't really much of a secret, but the residents of the apartment complexes she frequents don't know anything about Shailene's background unless they are one of the girls she lives with. To be honest, she kinda doesn't really want to talk about it. She hates talking about the fact that her parents died and then she was adopted. It always warrants some kind of sympathetic response from others. There's genuinely nothing to feel sorry for. She had a pretty safe life, right?
|Goals/Dreams|
▪To one day become an inspiration for her younger people trying to make it in the business ▪Be rich enough to donate to a great cause or to her alma mater ▪Win a few Grammys ▪Publish an article in a scholarly journal ▪Become renowned for being an performer and activist who contributed to society
{“You save yourself or you remain unsaved.” }
-Alice Sebold
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A Dreamer, Determined, and Driven: Always
Opinionated: Often to Always
Proud: Often
Quiet//Shy: Rarely to Never
Friendly: Sometimes
Broken: Somewhat {Secretly}
Affectionate: Occasionally
Risk-Taking: Often to Sometimes
Ambitious: Always
Curious: Often
Self-Controlled: Mostly
Modest and Simple: Mostly
Calm and Level headed: Often to Sometimes
Defensive: Sometimes
Sarcastic: Often
Pessimistic: Occasionally
Charming: Occasionally {When she wants}
Emotional and Petty: Rarely
Persuasive and Stubborn: Often to Sometimes
Calculating and Clever: Sometimes to Often
Insecure, cynical, and doubtful: Occasionally
Spiteful: Rarely to Never
Charismatic: Somewhat
Secretive: Sometimes
Honest and Blunt: Often to Sometimes
Loyal: Always
Serious: Often to Always
Romantic: Occasionally
Flirty: Occasionally {Especially when drunk}
Sympathetic: Sometimes
Innocent: Rarely to Never
Optimistic: Often to Sometimes
Observant: Sometimes to Often
Logical: Sometimes to Often
Hyperactive: Sometimes
Sweet, Kind, and Caring: Occasionally
Jealous: Occasionally {Secretly}
Nurturing: Sometimes to Often
Childish: Sometimes
Particular, Argumentative, Passionate, and Demanding: Always
Seductive: Rarely
Protective and Possessive: Often
Social: Somewhat
Emotions:Mostly controlled
{"If you want to discover the true character of a person, you have only to observe what they are passionate about.” }
-Shannon Alder
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▲Her followers ▲Peaches ▲Tumblr, Youtube & Twitter ▲Seafood, especially shrimp and crab meat ▲Mostly all teas ▲Writing {Mostly blogging and a little creative writing} ▲Croissants & scones ▲Reading ▲The word 'aforementioned' ▲Snow ▲Activism ▲India Arie, Sam Smith, Alicia Keys, Janelle Monae, & Lana del Ray ▲Eggs ▲Most pasta dishes ▲Womanism ▲Her Mu Pi sisters ▲Playing the guitar and singing ▲Her natural hair ▲Crossword puzzles ▲Intelligent conversation ▲When someone wraps their arms around her waist from behind ▲Fanfiction ▲Spicy hummus ▲Dancing ▲Her favorite TV shows {How To Get Away With Murder, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, Supernatural, Boardwalk Empire, & Sleepy Hollow} ▲Her roommates ▲Red wine ▲Cooking ▲Action and horror films
{"I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist.” }
-Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness
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▼When her boss has her doing random stuff ▼Coffee ▼Over-crowdedness in her bedroom ▼A plethora of grammatical errors in an article ▼Having to go on coffee runs ▼Photo shoots that require less clothing ▼Writer's block ▼Most frozen meals ▼Meat cravings ▼Talking to her Dad ▼Anyone messing with the people she cares about ▼Horrible covers on YouTube ▼Seeing her apartment in a disarray ▼Misogyny ▼Perms ▼Peanuts ▼Getting sick ▼Violence {Not that she's not capable} ▼Dirty dishes ▼Fried chicken ▼Racial stereotypes and slurs ▼Slut-shaming ▼Being called a 'feminist' ▼People doubting her 'blackness' ▼High-pitched or shrill voices ▼Sexual abuse ▼Iggy Izalea ▼Getting emotional ▼Raisins ▼Strong colognes or perfumes
{“When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family. ” }
-Jim Butcher
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Brooklyn, NY {Age: 0 - 4 yrs. old}; Piscataway, NJ {Age: 4 - 16}; Atlanta, GA {Age: 16 - 17}; New York, NY {17 - 19}; San Francisco, CA (21 - Present)
|Family Tree|
Birth Mother// Annelise Moreau// Deceased
Birth Father// Derek Moreau// Deceased
Adoptive Mother// Jovanna Dixon-Michels// Living
Adoptive Father// Stephen Dixon// Living {Estranged}
Step-Father// Christopher Michels// Living
Foster Sister// Jasmine Michels// Living
|Happiest Memory|
Being able to walk through the arch at Spelman College with her original class despite transferring. She can never forget how happy she was posing with her sorority sisters. She had her pin from the sorority, her honorary tassles for graduating with honors and for her involvement with one of the Honor Societies, and an honorary diploma. Vying for this role as happiest memory is her being rankd #4 Most Powerful Up-and-Coming New Artists.
|Saddest Memory|
When she realized how corrupt society truly was; when her rape case wasn't handled in a just manner. She was seventeen, violated, treated unfairly, and for the first time in her life - after all the work she already done - felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
{“It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” }
-David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary
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It was a dark and stormy night....no, not really, but it was rainy and it was nighttime when the course of Shailene's life was changed irrevocably. She was a one month old baby and her parents left her to attend a gala. Her godparents, Jovanna and Stephen, were babysitting at the time. It was the first night Annelise and Derek had had some free time and wanted to do something for themselves and this gala was something Annelise had been anticipating for months. Shailene was born a near full month earlier than expected, so she initially didn't even believe she would be able to attend. Who knew that this important event would be the last one either would attend? Derek had had one too many drinks and combine that with the weather and an equally drunk (teenaged) driver and what do you get? Three lost souls and an orphaned baby. But as Shailene would tell you, she doesn't want nor need any sympathy. It wasn't like her life ended at that point. It had only just begun.
As per Annelise's will, Shailene was given to her godparents to be raised and was given a relatively easy childhood. Annelise and Jovanna had been best friends since childhood, so it came to no one's surprise that the baby was in her care. Annelise had no siblings, her parents had both died, and any other relatives were distant and not easy to contact. So, Shailene stayed with the Dixons. She and Jovanna grew exceptionally close, partly because Shailene reminded the former so much of her mother. Stephen (when he was home) was indeed a loving father, but it was Jovanna that Shailene became extremely attached to. In an otherwise unstable marriage, Shailene brought a sense of familiarity and closeness that the two young lovers thought they lost. When Stephen had to take on a new law office, they moved to New Jersey and from there, Shailene's life was pretty much set. Because of their middle class socioeconomic status, Shailene spent the good portion of her life getting ready for cotillion and being a good student, the latter which wasn't so hard.
It took some adjusting when the couple prepared themselves for a new baby and even longer for Shailene to actually like sharing her mother's affections and attention. But when she wasn't glowering at her baby sister, she always had her nose stuck in a book. Shailene always took advanced classes and back in elementary school, she was reading two levels higher than the one for her age. So, when the chance came to send her to a really good charter school, there really wasn't much to do other than to send her off. She proved to be really smart, not genius of the world level, but definitely enough that proved that she was an astute student and able to carry more workload than some of her fellow classmates. BEcause of this tenacity, Shailene managed to graduate from school in the top one-percent at the age of sixteen and was accepted into Spelman College, both her adoptive mother and biological mother's alma mater. She was thrilled.
However, it was during this triumphant period in her life where things took a turn for the worst. Not only was her family falling apart - Jasmine had become reckless and Stephen cheated with one of his law students - she underwent one experience too many of her AUC sisters went through. Rape. And it wasn't one of those cases that occurred during a drunken night or at a club. No, it was the worse one, for more than one reason. It was a friend. By the second semester of freshman year, Shailene had integrated herself into a few organizations. She was taking a full course load as an English major, she was a social media intern with the school's museum, she was a contributor to the Aunt Chloe literary magazine, and she was a part of a creative writing organization in the AUC. By this time, she also had a few adopted Morehouse brothers whom she loved dearly, one of which was Luke. He had just moved off of campus because the prices for housing was too much and Shailene was the only one who hadn't had time to visit him. So, when she did, they spent a good amount of time watching movies and just hanging out. Luke kissed her and Shailene was elated. She had had a crush on him for awhile and would gladly reciprocate his affections, but didn't want it to go so far. But he was persistent and stronger, and before she knew it, it was happening and Shailene was just numb. It hurt and for the next two days, she didn't go to work nor classes. However, that was not the worst of it. Everything that happened afterwards was what really shaped her.
The reason why getting sexually assaulted by one of your Morehouse brothers was so difficult to handle was because of the way the institution's system handled the situation. At first, Luke had been willing to admit that he was in the wrong. However, after talking to a few of his classmates, her told her that it was her fault and that if she wanted it, she could have said no. So, he refused to acknowledge that the issue was in fact rape and that no, it was not consensual. When Shailene tried to pursue a court trial though Morehouse, she was met with resistance and a hint of slut-shaming. They asked her an array of questions that threw her off: "What were you wearing?" "Are you sure it wasn't consent? You were attracted to him, right?" "Why were you in someone's apartment that late without friends?" All of these questions and a long process that would not end with her getting justice. So, she ended the friendship and joined one of the organizations on campus for advocacy against sexual violence.
Shailene spent the next semester - and rest of her life - advocating as a 'womanist' rather than a feminist. She had learned about the difference in her sociology courses and became very much involved on campus. She ended up pledging - just like her mothers - in Mu Pi's chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha and served as social chair for an entire year while she was in Atlanta, even during her time away at Julliard. She didn't get involved in too many romantic relationships, oftentimes making herself to busy to get close to anyone other than a rather sexual relationship. She also did not stay at Spelman. During an exchange program the first-ever Julliard that would last for a semester, Shailene subsequently auditioned and transferred to the performing arts school. She just got tired of the pitying looks. It was sad because she ended up leaving behind some amazing people, but she still keeps in contact with them to this day. Getting to Julliard, she met a plethora of great people, some of whom she had met during her time as a transfer student. Here, Shailene absolutely flourished, but as a dance major and minoring in creative writing. She began posting covers and performed in several productions, one of which would later earn her a chance to be a back-up dancer for Kelly Rowland. Still managing to graduate early at eighteen years old, Shailene's career began almost immediately.
After her stint with Kelly Rowland and the recommendations from the older singer, Shailene was asked to perform as a back-up dancer to several artists, including Beyoncé which was pretty much a dream come true. Inevitably, her gain in popularity would lead Shailene to move to California, which was a hard transition considering she was new to the area and such. It was during this time that she and her father tried to repair their relationship. He came over and moved into an apartment with her so that she could have some kind of stability while managing her own career. That, however, did not last long and she took on a job as a freelance writer for Mother Jones to help pay the bills at an apartment she has with a few old classmates and friends. Shailene became a Cover Girl and the new face for Young & Reckless, a clothing brand based in Los Angeles. It was also during this time that she gained the most attention when the film Beyond the Lights was in work. Because of her covers and work, she was recommended for helping with the soundtrack, which featured a few other up-and-coming stars. Her song Fly Before You Fall, which was released with the soundtrack before the film was even released, was her biggest start. She has recently been signed to Interscope records and an album is in talks. For now, however, she is being endorsed by Pepsi and Young & Reckless, and doing photo shoots. She currently has an EP that has been released and managed to hit #27 on the Billboard called Power.
{“Our sweetest songs are those of saddest thought.” }
-Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Complete Poems
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I am the diamond you left in the dust
I am the future you lost in the past
Seems like I never compared
Wouldn't notice if I disappeared
You stole the love that I saved for myself
And I watched you give it to somebody else
But these scars no longer I hide
I found the light you shut inside
Couldn't love me if you tried
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
Does it burn
Knowing I used all the pain?
Does it hurt
Knowing you're fuel to my flame?
Don't look back
Don't need your regrets
Thank God you left my love behind
Couldn't change me if you tried
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
Release your curse
'Cause I know my worth
Those wounds you made are gone
You ain't seen nothing yet
Your love wore thin
And I never win
You want the best
So sorry that's clearly not me
This is all I can be
Am I still not good enough?
Am I still not worth that much?
I'm sorry for the way my life turned out
Sorry for the smile I'm wearing now
Guess I'm still not good enough
{“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” }
-J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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❣On Tumblr and a few choice blogs, Shailene falls under the username sincerely, elle. She talks about a lot of social issues, especially in regards to women's rights and racial problems in the community and in the country. She does do reviews for her favorite television shows and also uses this username to post for her fanfiction. She does vlogs mostly on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, but if an issue really is near and dear to her heart, she will post whenever she makes the time to do so. She also does covers, but that can typically be found under the channel that people call her Shay in since Shay and Elle are two separate entities.❣
❣No, the above username does not belong to me, but to a very good friend and classmate of mine whom I love dearly.❣
❣Shailene exclusively buys her teas from Teavana, though a few of her flavors you might find from other brands such as Bigelow or Stash.❣
❣Shailene covers social media for the #ItsBiggerThanYou coalition, which was started by a few fellow AUC alumna who want to inspire social change and empower and educate the minorities of America. She doesn't always travel with them, but she is almost always tweeting facts and advertising events for them. She also is involved with the #UnitedBlackout movement.❣
❣Shailene is a member of Spelman College's Mu Pi chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Incorporated, even after she transferred. Occasionally, she incorporates the colors in her attire: pink and green.❣
❣Dialogue color: #FF8080; Thought color: #004000❣
❣Face Claim: Kat Graham❣