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Elisa Grace

"Secrets will destroy you, just like they destroyed me."

0 · 1,088 views · located in Some city, Somewhere

a character in “Keeping Secrets.”, as played by dreamingreality

Description

Image
♦ The Basics ♦

» Name: Elisa Leanne Grace
» Age: 17
» Gender: Female
» Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
» Occupation: N/A

Image

♦ The Description ♦

» Face Claim: Nerysoul on Deviant Art.
» Hair: Very long, medium brown
» Eyes: Bright green with darker blue outer rim.
» Face: Pale
» Build: Slim/Slender
» Style: Casual
» Markings: She has a scar over her right eyebrow that she uses make up or her hair to cover up.




Image

♦ The Character ♦

» Likes:

- Art, particularly painting
- Graphic design, CGI
- Mathematics
- The smell of rain on concrete
- The feeling of sand between your toes

» Dislikes:

- The lie she's forced to live
- Warm, humid days
- The way lotion feels
- Her mother
- Having dirty hands from paint, food, etc.

» Phobias:

- Trypophobia - Intense, irrational fear of small, clustered holes. Google Image it. I dare you.
- Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
- Automatonophobia - Fear of ventriloquists dummies.

» Habits:

- She drums her fingers against hard surfaces
- She often chews on the side of her cheek

» Personality:

Depending on whom she’s with or the situation, Elisa can blend in quite well. At home she is a well behaved, perfectly postured, and well spoken debutante. She pretends to care about things that are going on within her parent’s circle of equally pompous and ridiculously wealthy friends, and carries herself with refined elegance. Her problems don’t exist because they’re not allowed to. In other words, Elisa is a great actor.

At school, Elisa does her best to be a nobody. She’s about as shy as a person can possibly be and jumps at the sight of her own shadow. She rarely speaks to anyone unless directly spoken to and even then they’re lucky if they get more than one or two words from her. Most of her time is spent reading and doing homework.


In recent years, she’s been obsessed with controlling her weight and what she eats, as it’s one of the only things she CAN control in her life. She’s extraordinarily depressed and finds joy in very few things.

Now there’s what you could call “the real Elisa,” the side of her she pushes away and hides from people; the Elisa that very few people will ever get to know. If comfortable to open up to someone, they’ll find that – despite all the negativity she feels – she’s quite normal. She can be flirty, she likes to have fun, she loves deeply, and all she really wants is to be the mother to her daughter. However, this Elisa has been pushed so far down that even she’s not sure she exists anymore.





♦ The Past ♦

» History:

Elisa was born to a wealthy family, who own a several businesses throughout the United States. Her house was filled with rules on how to act, how to dress, what to like, and her future was all set up for her. From the moment she was born she was destined to join the family business. She wasn’t just a daughter to her parents; she was a long term investment. They had plans and dreams for her, never allowing her to have her own. As she got older this caused a great deal of stress. The pressure to be perfect was too much for a young girl to handle and eventually, she began to control her life in the only way she figured she could. The amount of food she consumed on a daily basis began to dwindle into nothing and by the time she was thirteen, she had already been hospitalized on multiple occasions: her parents doing their best to cover them up.

Her freshman year of high school, she met a boy named Malachai. He was sweet to her, a little on the alternative side, and everything her parents despised, but Elisa absolutely adored him. For the first time in her life, she was happy. When she wasn’t at school, she was with him. But all good things must come to an end, and by the time the year was out Malachai had been in a horrific car accident. He passed away shortly after and a week later, Elisa would find out she was pregnant at fourteen.

When her parents discovered Elisa’s pregnancy, they were outraged. They couldn’t convince her to terminate the pregnancy, it was the only thing she had still connecting her to her late boyfriend. So they moved and for a majority of her sophomore year, she was home schooled and her mother pretended to be the pregnant one. And while Elisa’s eating habits had changed drastically for the health of her unborn child, the moment Jessa came into the world, she returned to her anorexic ways – this time much worse than before. She dabbled in the world of cutting, began to smoke cigarettes to decrease her appetite, and completely separated herself from her classmates. Until this year, nobody had really noticed her. Teachers would forget her name even at the end of the year, students spread silly rumors, and that was just her life. Then she met Beck Hades, the flirty boy with long blonde hair. Their friendship made absolutely no logical sense and their fellow students often felt the need to point it out. But she wasn't completely alone anymore and that comforted her.

» Family:

- Diana Leigh Grace, Mother
- Joshua Edward Grace, Father
- Jessa Marie Grace, Daughter (known to others as her "Sister")

» Relationships:

Friend/Romantic Interest: Beck Hades

» Secrets:

- She has a three year old daughter named Jessa.
- Elisa is anorexic.

» Other: None

So begins...

Elisa Grace's Story

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"Thank you, I understand."

Alan returned to cooking, but not before warning the boy: "Tread lightly," he said. He wondered briefly if he had overstepped, but there was no way he could have. He didn't outright call Elisa on her eating disorder, he simply answered the question of a curious teenager. No harm done. If anything, he hoped that he had helped in some small way. Maybe now Elisa would start eating and get healthy again. Maybe she wouldn't die a skeleton, which she was well on her way to being. It wasn't natural to see a girl's collar bones so prominently, or to have arms so small that she had to wear child sized watches.




"Hello beautiful."

She hadn't heard Beck come up the stairs or open the door, and his words caused her to jump. "Oh God, you scared me." Elisa said with a smile, though she recognized that something was wrong. He was looking at her in a way she had never seen before and it made her nervous. She looked up at him, green eyes wide with concern. "What's wrong? Did Alan say something to bother you? He can be a little....I don't know, cranky?" She rambled while pushing a strand of hair that had fallen out of her pony tail behind her ear.

Something in the pit of her stomach told her that he knew. Maybe not everything, maybe not much at all, but he knew too much for her comfort. She could still fix it, she could turn her little mistake of saying lunch instead of breakfast, it was a common enough thing to say. There was nothing in the world she feared more then the person she cared about discovering her secrets, as terrible as they were...even if he had secrets of his own. "Sorry I left you down there by yourself. I shouldn't have. You're my guest and what not," She said, chewing on her bottom lip.

At this point she was nearly panicking, thinking of all the things she could say to fix it, even though she realized she was probably freaking out over nothing. He probably didn't know or even guess at anything and she was over thinking things. But what if he did know something and thought she was too crazy to hang around anymore? There went her only friend and she could hardly blame him. She was nuts. She starved herself to feel in control and let her parents control the most important aspects of her life. If she was on the outside looking in on her life, she would probably get the hell out too.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"Oh God, you scared me."
"What's wrong? Did Alan say something to bother you? He can be a little....I don't know, cranky?"


"No..." Beck shook his head lightly still wearing the same sad and awkward expression. He wondered if he should spill right away, but had taken note of Alan's comment about "treading carefully" and so decided now was not quite the time though he promised that he would help Elisa in anyway he could, even though he did not really understand. On the other hand he was pretty sure that she would not understand the reasoning behind his own secret, after all he could get himself out of such a situation easily, but he was still there.

"Sorry I left you down there by yourself. I shouldn't have. You're my guest and what not,"

"I am hardly a guest. You don't have to be formal around me...." The blonde stated as he flopped upon the bed with a sigh and turning to face her wall of shattered memories. One particular character in the images was a crimson spiked haired male who Beck had never seen or heard of before. He had to be honest and admit seeing another guy in her pictures make his stomach whirl with jealousy, but that was only natural. "Can I ask who this is?..." He said pointing at the figure, voice soft and curious.

The youth wriggled along the bed sheets and patted the empty space beside him. Beck hoped the action was not too suggestive, but being honest he did want to cuddle her and curl into her warmth. He held a lot of feelings for Elisa Grace, though he kept telling himself that they were not to be returned.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"Can I ask who this is?..."

The question was to be expected, and she had expected it, but it still made her heart fall a little in her chest. "A friend from my old school. A few years ago he got in a car accident, he passed away." She did her best to keep her eyes from watering at the still very painful memory. It was silly, to still be so torn up about it, and she told herself that every time she thought about it. She wiped her cheeks and smiled, pushing the sadness way back down again. "But stuff happens, it's whatever." It really wasn't just 'whatever,' she did have a baby with said friend. One he never got to meet and never would.

She saw his motion to sit on the bed and raised an eyebrow, but she plopped down without a word and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm such a downer. I don't understand why you'd hang out with me," She teased, lightly nudging him with a smile on her face. "I'm glad you do, though." She added on after a short pause, looking up at him. Briefly, her mind wondered back to earlier in the day when she drove Beck to that sketchy building, and the bloodied boy.

"Hey, B? What were you doing at that place earlier?" Elisa asked, not wanting to flat out say she had followed him in there. "If you don't mind me asking." She was concerned for him, and his crying when he had walked out of that building didn't help matters. She remembered the tears on his face and hers just recently. Today had become more emotional than she had intended it to be. It also allowed her to view Beck in a different way and realize that maybe, for the first time since she was fourteen, she could have feelings for someone.

And it absolutely terrified her.

The first boy she had loved had died and she was scared that Beck might too.
What she had witnessed earlier didn't ease those fears.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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Beck Hades.

"A friend from my old school. A few years ago he got in a car accident, he passed away."
But stuff happens, it's whatever."


The blonde swallowed hard in his chest at her answer, thumbs twiddling awkwardly as silence drowned the pair. He finally forced his tongue to move, muttering a soft "I am sorry to hear that," to finish such a awful conversation even though he wished to ask so many questions. Beck was pretty sure that the red head was a little more than her friend from her old school, but he did not want her getting more upset than what she already. He was even unable to admit that he was jealous; he could not display that he was angry at someone who had clearly made the person he loved to very happy. The youth glanced in her direction, heart sinking at her watery eyes and sorrow possessed face.

As Elisa leaned her head upon the blondes shoulder, he decided to make a move. He then reached forward, softly grabbing her hand and pulled the brunette towards him until her frail body lay alongside his own large muscular figure. Beck embraced her lightly, in a way that allowed her to pull away if she so wished. He begged she did not.

"I'm such a downer. I don't understand why you'd hang out with me,"
"I'm glad you do, though."


Beck laughed lightly, pulling the golden strands from his vision. "What a silly thought. I love hanging out with you...Elisa you are..." He swallowed hard, heart pounding in his chest so much that it was painful. "Different." Though that was clearly not exactly what he wanted to say, it was still true. She was so unlike everyone else in his life, she made him forget the gang, she made him feel loved. "With you I feel so safe. I'm glad you like my company."

"Hey, B? What were you doing at that place earlier?"
"If you don't mind me asking."


"Hey Elisa why did you lie about having a big lunch? You ate nothing!" He spoke bluntly, maybe even with a little bit of coldness in his tone that of course he did not really mean. Beck sighed lightly, rubbing her palm with his thumb. "I'm sorry." At that very moment his 'work' mobile began to vibrate upon both of their thighs. He quickly dragged it out of his pocket and threw it hard against a wall that the back and the battery tumbled out onto the carpet.

Silence.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"I am sorry to hear that,"

"He was my boyfriend, if that's what you're wondering." Elisa said quietly. From the look on his face, that's what she had assumed and thought it best to rip that band aid off as quickly as possible, so she would never have to discuss it again. "I'm, uh, I guess I'm over it now. It's been years." She lied, the words rolling off her tongue as if it were as easy as drinking a glass of water. She was so accustomed to telling herself that, that it wasn't that hard to say it so someone else. Even if it wasn't true in the least bit.

Part of her melted while Beck held her, the other part told her that this was nothing more than a friend comforting her while she was upset. That's all Beck was, right? That's how he viewed her, as a friend, as a silly little girl? Or at least, that's how she thought he looked at her. She didn't feel the least bit attractive or likable. Her self esteem was such shit these days that it was hard to imagine that anyone could love her, much less someone like Beck. None the less, she tilted her face up towards him, so that her lips were nearly touching his neck, and smiled. "You're a little bit wonderful, you know?" She whispered.

"What a silly thought. I love hanging out with you...Elisa you are...different."
"With you I feel so safe. I'm glad you like my company."


She was...different? Yes, she was different. She was a train wreck with a ton of baggage and an entire Narnia sized wardrobe filled with skeletons. Funny though, because she thought he was 'different' too. Different because she didn't feel alone when she was with him, like she did with everyone else. Different because she could smile and talk around him and not have to fear being judged. Different because she was absolutely and irrevocably in love with him and refused to admit to herself or anyone. She laughed quietly, but said nothing. What could she say?

And then he said what she had been dreading.

"Hey Elisa why did you lie about having a big lunch? You ate nothing!"

At that point, her face had completely fallen into a mix of rage, fear, and sadness. But as quickly as that wall had fallen, she put another one back up and her face went completely flat, as if she were carved from marble. She pulled away from him. "I didn't realize that my eating habits were that big of a concern, Beck. Not everyone has to eat every five fucking seconds. Besides, I just asked a question. You don't need to be a dick about it." His apology didn't go unnoticed, but she was to distraught to care.

She watched his phone fly across the room with the same blank expression. "Nice," She growled.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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Beck Hades

"He was my boyfriend, if that's what you're wondering."
"I'm, uh, I guess I'm over it now. It's been years."

The blonde nodded, admitting that he was thinking exactly what she had guessed. Though her second comment surprised him he slowly lifted his face to glare into her eyes, peeling back her cover like a book which contained the most sad words. Elisa Grace was someone who lied far too often for her own good, and it was starting to push Beck away from her. "Well he was a lucky guy, I'm sure he enjoyed his life with you." Beck said in a soft careful tone. He had never felt so much respect and jealousy towards one being before; a rather odd combination.

"You're a little bit wonderful, you know?"

Her breath water falling down his neck made him shiver and sent a thrilling feeling shock down his spine as he wriggled on the spot. Beck was unsure if she meant to have that affect or not, but either way she just called him wonderful. He squeezed her body against his in a hug before replying with "And you are just a little bit perfect Elisa."

"I didn't realize that my eating habits were that big of a concern, Beck. Not everyone has to eat every five fucking seconds. Besides, I just asked a question. You don't need to be a dick about it."


The blonde bit his tongue to stop himself screaming aloud with anger. He would unable to hold it for very long at all though. "I care about your eating habits cause I care about you Elisa! They are my concern! Not everyone starves them self to the point of being skeletons either! I don't have any idea why you do because I think you would look impossibly perfect anyway!" His words came out in a odd fumble of noises, but in the same way his speech was flawless. He sighed rubbing his brow and scraping back his hair from his vision as his pupils met with the mobile broken on the carpet.

"You asked a question that was not meant to be asked, so I gave one back to you. I'm sorry. I guess we are equal now."

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace Character Portrait: The Grace Family
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"And you are just a little bit perfect Elisa."

If only he knew how far from perfect she really was, he'd want absolutely nothing to do with her. Nothing in her life was flawless and she doubted anything in her life would ever be flawless. Except for Beck. He was the closest to heaven that she'd ever be, just like the Goo Goo Dolls' song said. The hug, the closeness of their bodies, made her feel wonderfully secure and she wished for that moment to last forever. It was too bad that all good things came to an end, a fact that Elisa knew all too well.

The room had gone from cuddly to tense in mere seconds.

"I care about your eating habits cause I care about you Elisa! They are my concern! Not everyone starves them self to the point of being skeletons either! I don't have any idea why you do because I think you would look impossibly perfect anyway!"

Not everyone starves themselves? No shit, not everyone starves themselves. She was pissed, she was embarrassed, and she was heartbroken. "I don't starve myself, Beck. What the fuck!? Oh, and thanks for the fucking confidence boost there. I'm skeletal and homely unless I'm fat, that's great. Thanks. I really needed to know that shit." Apparently, Elisa was fond of cursing in her anger. "At least I don't hang around bloodied men and jailbirds." She was about to storm out of her room in a particularly bitchy fashion, but Alan had reached the door before her bringing in a tray of food.

"That's great. Fucking fantastic," She mumbled underneath her breath. Alan, clearly sensing the obvious tension, set the tray up on her dresser and left as quickly and quietly as possible. Elisa thanked him before he left, but he just gave a simple nod before heading down the stairs. What he left in her room smelled heavenly and looked even better. It was just a very small pasta dish, though she was unsure what type of pasta it was. If her stomach could jump out of her torso and consume it like a raging monster, it would, but Elisa just turned away and walked towards the window in her room. She had run out of things to say by this point and the food was making her both hungry and anxious. She wanted to leave, but that would be far too obvious.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace Character Portrait: The Grace Family
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Beck Hades.

"I don't starve myself, Beck. What the fuck!? Oh, and thanks for the fucking confidence boost there. I'm skeletal and homely unless I'm fat, that's great. Thanks. I really needed to know that shit."

Beck's fists clenched hard on his jeans; so hard that they almost tore at skin and being honest he wished that his fingernails would draw blood creating at least some form of distraction. He did not want to argue with the person he loved, he did not want to have this conversation, he did not want to turn round and call her a liar. "I know your eating habits Elisa, I pay enough attention to you to notice." The blondes voice was low and maybe even robotic, it felt like stumbling along a minefield. A minefield that could ruin them.

"You are thin. Too thin. Its not something you can say in any kinder way Elisa. Do you want me to pretend everything is alright and ignore my best friend who is clearly needing a hand? I'm sorry but that is not my style." The speech came out in a very similar tone as before, but his tongue twirled a nice kind of caring edge at the tips of sentences. "Believe it or not Miss Grace, but I really do give a shit."

"At least I don't hang around bloodied men and jailbirds."


Stunned. Frozen. Bewildered.

Saved by the Alan...Even though the idea sounded rather comical, there was nothing funny about this situation. The food looked and smelled perfect, though the idea of eating right now made Beck's stomach flip over. Elisa was pushing away this temptation, this natural feeling of hunger every single day. The blonde nodded a thank you to Alan before he left. Silence.

"I told you not to follow me." Beck growled, his eyes glistening with the dangerous aurora that they held back in the flats. His gang leader expression, disappointment when his pack decided to disobey their pack alpha. "None of that is any of your business and the reason why that is so is because if you go poking your nose in places is likely you will end up like him. Alright?" He could feel his pulse beating hard like a drum in his throbbing head. The beast was unable to make eye contact with beauty, and he had a feeling she was on the edge of running, leaving him a false monster and not Prince Beck. At her last comment he let a roar pass his lips. "How fucking dare you speak about Millie that way!"

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"You are thin. Too thin. Its not something you can say in any kinder way Elisa. Do you want me to pretend everything is alright and ignore my best friend who is clearly needing a hand? I'm sorry but that is not my style. Believe it or not Miss Grace, but I really do give a shit."

"Did you ever think, Hades, that I don't want help. That I don't need it. Maybe I'm naturally this thin, maybe you're just around at all the wrong times. Quit acting like you know me so fucking well. You don't know me at all," She sneered, her tone of voice dripping with animosity and disdain. She was mad. No, more than that, she was absolutely livid. He was throwing stones from his glass house. He may have given a shit about her, but she wasn't allowed to give a shit about him? When he was the one keeping a classless trollop company and consorting with obviously dangerous people?

The day was not supposed to end like this. It felt like her whole world was falling apart and the one person who had kept her steady was now breaking down too. She was drowning and there was no longer anything to hold onto. The one lifeline she had, the one escape from everything: her parents, anorexia, chaos, was completely crumbling right before her eyes. She watched the look on his face when he realized she had followed him into the building. It was a look that she had never seen before, though she rarely saw anything outside of his familiar smile, and it terrified her.

"None of that is any of your business and the reason why that is so is because if you go poking your nose in places is likely you will end up like him. Alright?"

Despite the disturbing face he wore, she couldn't help but give him a disgusted half smile and say: "Is that a threat or a promise?" Part of her wished she could take it back, apologize for following him, and forget this entire argument, but she couldn't. Deep in her stomach, she got the sick feeling that this argument might end anything they ever had and she would be alone again. She could feel the wall she had built up and then let down begin putting itself up again. Her face became void of any emotion until she looked just...dead inside.

"How fucking dare you speak about Millie that way!"

She looked at him with that blank stare and then to the door. "Get out," Elisa told him flatly. She was done. She wasn't going to sit there and listen to him yell at her anymore. If she wasn't allowed to make a point about his life, she wouldn't give him anymore time to bitch about how she didn't eat enough or how she was hurting herself. Her glass house couldn't take anymore hits and she was done throwing stones.

And then in walked a girl with red pigtails and a huge smile, with a tiny backpack on her shoulders. "Ellie's home!" The little girl exclaimed cheerfully.

Jess was back from preschool.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace Character Portrait: The Grace Family
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Beck Hades.

"Did you ever think, Hades, that I don't want help. That I don't need it. Maybe I'm naturally this thin, maybe you're just around at all the wrong times. Quit acting like you know me so fucking well. You don't know me at all,"

Beck lowered his vision and head to the ground and began to awkwardly twiddle his thumbs. He did not have a clue what to say. Being all too honest Elisa was just being stubborn now and there was nothing what so ever he could do about it. She was not naturally thin at all, people don't come that naturally thin. It did not look natural at all. It was driving him insane and his face displayed how he was feeling. "I guess you don't want me to be here then do you." He stated bluntly; it was not even a question.

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"A bloody promise. I am being serious Elisa, this is not some kind of joke you know." The youth growled, his intimidating leader voice taking place once again. Beck did not look like Beck when he was like this. His handsome face was lacking its soft jokey feel to it and his stance was more upright and fake. It was all a complete utter lie.

"Get out,"

What?
is she serious?
Oh shit...


"What did you expect Elisa? I was defending a friend." He snarled, displaying his first sign of aggression. As he began to stand up a little girl wandered into the room, having the brightest sunshine face Beck had ever seen ever. He reached the door and paused, allowing the girl to prance into the room. "Hello," The blonde said softly, managing a smile even though he looked extremely hurt underneath. He then turned back to Elisa and frowned before giving a very blunt "Goodbye".

He then wandered along the corridor and down the stairs, wondering if Elisa would follow after him though he doubted it. Beck had to admit he was very angry. He had only been kind and she had just thrown it back in his face, disrespected the person who had saved his own and many other lives, and stuck her nose in places it should not have been. Beck had every right to be upset.

The blonde knew the first place he was going to vent his feelings to.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace Character Portrait: The Grace Family
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Jessa, despite not understanding anything that was going on, waved her entire arm after Beck and yelled "Good bye."

Elisa watched Beck leave, her hearting pounding with every emotion from anger to disappointment. She wanted to cry, but with the smiling toddler looking up at her - now with an entirely confused face - she knew she couldn't. She smiled, trying to mask all the negative things she was feeling now. If there was one thing Elisa could claim to be good at, it was hiding her problems from the rest of the world...The rest of the world except Beck.

"Who was that, Ellie?" Jessa said, pointing at the door the boy had just exited.

"Just a friend," Elisa responded with another, small smile. "Let's go play."

Was she still friends with Beck? Or had she just ruined anything they had ever had? The thought plagued her through the rest of the night and left her feeling panicked and alone. She teetered on the edge of an anxiety attack and the desperate want to just leave everything behind, go to sleep, and never wake up. In her life she had never felt more down and alone, she could feel herself drowning even as she laughed and played with Jess. When Allison, Jessa's nanny, asked her if everything was alright she lied. Same with Alan. She even told the same thing to herself, but Elisa wasn't okay. She was never okay and she had just pushed away the one person in her life who could have changed that.

Eventually she had to put Jessa to bed and everything after that was a blur. She kept checking her phone, praying to God that Beck would text her or call her and that she could fix this, but couldn't bring herself to call him. What would she say to him anyway? That she was sorry? Except that she wasn't. He had confronted her and she didn't like that, he had thrown in her face a secret that no one was supposed to ever know.

After her house had gone quiet, she finally allowed herself to break down in the comfort of her bed, her pillow collecting all the tears that fell. Everything in her life was weighing so heavily on her, that she wasn't sure if she could handle living that life for much longer. The longer she thought about it, the better the idea sounded, until she finally fell asleep.

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace Character Portrait: The Grace Family
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((Maybe they could run into each other at a park. They could both go there to clear their heads, just before he "exposes" himself? Y'know. Because fate will constantly throw them together constantly and what not. xD))

The Next Day


Throughout the night Elisa had tossed and turned. She would fall asleep and be awoken by some horrific nightmare about Beck and the bloodied man. She had suspicions about what he was involved in and it scared the living shit out of her. Especially now that she had pushed him away. By the time light broke through her windows, her eyes were puffy from tears and she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. She checked her phone, her heart sinking a little at the empty screen. No new texts. No missed calls. The severity of what she had done weighed heavily on her shoulders.

She couldn't be bothered to get dressed, other than to throw on a pair of sweats, freshen up her pony tail, and brush her teeth. When she walked down to the kitchen she hadn't expected to see her mother and father sitting there, looking at her with a disapproving stare as they always did.

"Jesus, Elisa. Couldn't you put a little more effort in than that?" Mrs. Grace said, frowning so deeply that Elisa thought her mouth may just fall off her face. The teenager shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the bowl of oatmeal that had been placed in front of her by Alan, who she hadn't previously noticed was in the room. Her stomach was begging her for it, but at the same time she was repulsed by the sight of it. She dipped the spoon in and forced a small spoonful down her mouth, followed by a second, but that was all she could manage.

"I think I'm...Uh. I think I'm going to go out for the day," She said.

"You're not going to finish your food?" Her dad asked, looking down at her bowl and back at her.

"No I'm not -" Elisa was quickly cut off by her mother saying: "She probably doesn't need it anyway. It looks like she's gained a little weight while we were gone."

Her heart broke, splintering into the tiniest of pieces. Her father looked stunned, as did Alan, but neither of them said a word. The tension in the air could suffocate them all. Elisa didn't give any of them time to, anyways, as she had already grabbed her keys and purse and walked out the door. Her head was pounding with all the thoughts that swirled around. She desperately wished she could talk to Beck, but couldn't bring herself to call. He hated her now, there was no way he didn't. She had said horrible things about the people he obviously cared about and she had pushed him away when all he did was try to help her.

She drove around for a while, before finally ending up in a kids park. It was old, some of the toys still made of metal that had now rusted. It looked like a kid hadn't been here in years, but graffiti marked nearly every inch of the place and some of the spray paint looked fairly fresh. She stopped her car and walked over to one of the swings to sit down, and it made a squeak every time she moved. She no longer felt like a human being and more like a dead girl who was just waiting for her body to catch up.

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Beck Hades.

Well things lead to other things. Things Beck regretted doing with Millie. Anger had completely consumed his whole body and mind causing him to take out every desire upon the redhead. The blonde stood their with water trickling down his back, though no amount of bathing could cleanse him. He slammed his fist hard against the wall of the shower, before doing the same with his head which caused the world around him to spin in rapid circles. Then he smelt blood, and saw a steam of crimson run down his face that was most certainly blood. He felt like he had betrayed Elisa...even though he was pretty sure, especially now that she felt no kind emotions for him.

"Beck? Get out of there! What the hell are you doing Beck?!?" He heard Millie cry as she dragged him out of the shower and began mopping up his bloody head, muttering curse words and seductive comfort in his earlobe. He did not utter a single word and just hung his head in silence until she had finished, before throwing on a hoody and some faded jeans and he leaving with out a glance in her direction.

The youth just walked. He did not even know where the path he was following headed. He did not want to be here or anywhere else. He just wanted to completely vanish from the face of the earth, he did not want to face what he had done or what he was going to do. The meeting was today, maybe not also with his own gang, but with the Emeralds too. Becks body felt so dead and numb inside, maybe tonight it might be feeling the same way, just more...well physical.

A tingle of familiarity flicked up his spine and for the first time in a long while his eyes rose to find himself along side a park with the woman who his mind could just not let go of was seated upon the swing. He did not approach, just watched.

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Elisa rocked back on forth on her swing, not noticing anyone or anything around her. She was so focused on the pain she felt that little else mattered. Every ounce of hope she had every clung to, the small amount of light that had ever lit the darkness she shrouded herself in, was gone. It was her fault that she couldn't stand up to her parents, her fault that she and Beck had fought, her fault that her daughter would never really know who her mother was. She blamed herself for everything and didn't feel like she deserved to live any more.

So that moment, on the swing, she decided that she wouldn't. She wouldn't plague the Earth with her presence any longer. She cried silently, tears falling down her face. After tonight, Elisa Grace's life would come to an end and with it all the pain she had ever felt. Part of her felt like a coward, but the rest of her was screaming to just do it already. Her crying got harder and her breathing more rapid as she held her head in her hands, contemplating all the ways she could do it. It wasn't just a thought anymore, it was a plan; a plan that she would go through with the moment she got home.

Finally, as the tears stopped falling and the pain turned into numbness, she stood up and walked to her car. Not looking anywhere but her destination and not thinking about anything but what she felt she needed to do. The drive home took longer than usual, the scenery just rolling past in a grey blur.

When she reached her house she didn't bother to speak to anyone, though Alan was the only one there and he was probably in his room. All of her movements were mechanical, like she was a doll being controlled by someone else. Everything in Elisa's world had turned black and white. There was no color, no life.

She immediately went into her bathroom, filling the tub with water, watching it as it filled, thinking that this was going to be the spot she died. The spot where her family, or more likely Alan or Allison, would find her body. Her parents would tell Jessa that she had moved away, or was a maid that they had fired. Elisa wouldn't be the disappointing daughter who had killed herself, she would be a nobody: a memory and a lie.

She sent Beck what she thought would be a final text, only reading "I'm sorry." She then submerged herself in the water, fully clothed. In one hand she held a razor that she had taken from an unused pencil sharpener, and slowly slid it up a vein. Deep enough to kill, she assumed. Blood rushed out of her wrists, staining the water. With her already fragile state, it didn't take her long to pass out from blood loss.

The last thing she saw was Jessa screaming and Alan rushing in.

Jessa had come home early.

Elisa had forgotten to lock the door.

Soon, the house was in a frenzy. Alan was on the phone with the paramedics, Allison - Jessa's nanny - was on the phone with the Grace's while simultaneously trying to calm the toddler. When the ambulance arrived, Elisa was nearly dead, and at the hospital she had flat lined, but by some miracle - they were able to fix her. With the help of donated blood, a ridiculous amount of stitches, and the tiniest bit of luck, Elisa's suicide attempt at failed. She was alive. When she opened her eyes, she was alone in the intensive care unit, aside from a nurse checking her vitals.

Fuck.

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Beck Hades.

The blondes hands fumbled over the keyboard on his remaining phone, causing him to delete most of his sentence and rewrite again and again until the text had perfect grammar and spelling. This was not something Beck would usually do; normally a "np" would be his reply, but this was Elisa and she was most certainly worth more than a once word answer. His heart slammed violently in his chest as he tapped send and waited for a reply from the poor girl.



Elisa<3
4:56- I'm sorry.


5:59- I'm sorry I was rough on you too...its just things are not easy for anyone right now you know that.
6:04- Elisa? Hey hun, I really am sorry. xx
6:19- You are scaring me you know that?
6:28- Gods sake I just want a single answer...




And so then he called her only to be greeted by a few seconds of the dialling tone and then a harsh and robotic default answer machine that just made his heart sink in his chest. Beck did not even bother leaving a message, as he wanted to speak to Elisa personally. A inhuman kind of whine escaped his lips as his head fell into his palm and he began to panic. He ran moral reasoning through his mind time and time again but none of it seemed to sink in. She must be busy...She must be away from her phone...She must be so angry and be ignoring me...

I'm sorry....

Those words just seemed unnecessary and so they scared Beck. They burnt in his mind. Pained his nerves. Call it lovers instinct but he ran to her house.

The youth was only to be informed by a glum looking Alan, who hesitated before explaining that Elisa was in hospital due to a accident though he refused to state the ward and what exactly this so called accident was. Angrily Beck slammed his fist hard upon the brick wall of her uncomfortably neat home, grazing his side and sending a light shock of pain from his palm. Alan blinked hard with a kind of disgusted but despaired expression, as though wondering if he should scold the male or comfort him. "Thank you," He grumbled to the chef half heartedly before pumping all his strength to race to a bus stop which would take him to where Elisa was, though of course he had no idea where she was resting. He did not even have a clue what state the poor girl was in. She could be dying and he would not even have any idea...
***

"ELISA!???...." His voice roared as Beck pounded down corridors, bobbing his head around doors and peeping in at ill and wide eyed patients who clearly did not appreciate his company. A few time spare nurses scolding him and scuttled after the blonde but he was far too quick and ignorant to notice.

He just needed to make sure his girl was safe.

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"Oh honey, you're awake. Do you know what happened?" The nurse said, with an unusually thick southern draw and cheery disposition. Elisa nodded her head, still to exhausted to say a word. Her arm throbbed painfully and when she looked down she noticed it was covered in bandages. There was no way they didn't know this was a suicide attempt, absolutely none. It was clear as a day.

"You had an accident. Tripped and fell carrying a crafting knife. Don't worry, I'm a bit of a klutz too." The nurse didn't believe her own words, but she had been told that that's what had happened and with Elisa's parents being huge benefactors no one in the hospital would question it. Elisa frowned. Even something as serious as this was too embarrassing for her parents to accept. They were probably pissed she didn't actually die. After all, she was a problem child and her death would be a huge relief. That's how it felt, true or not.

She laid there, in scratchy sheets, her suicide attempt running through her mind like a scene in a movie that just kept playing over and over and over. Jessa's scream was what she could remember most clearly, the rest was a bit of blur. She felt sick to her stomach. How did Alan and Allison explain that to her? She was too little to understand what Elisa had done or why. I'm sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry you had to see that. She thought, as a tear fell down her face.

The nurse asked her a bunch of questions about her pain level, how she felt, and told her that all she had to do was press a button if she needed anything but she would probably be discharged in the morning. The lady in scrubs left, leaving Elisa alone. She thought of Beck and how he was probably still so pissed at her for everything. She wondered if he had gotten her apology.

Then, interrupting her thoughts she heard her name echo through the hall. "ELISA!???...." That was her name and that was definitely Beck's voice. Despite her exhaustion, she managed to sit herself up. "Beck!" She yelled, hoping he could hear her before getting out of the bed and opening the door. Down the hall, wild eyed and running like a mad man, was Beck. She was weak, she was tired, she was pale, she was bandaged and stitched, starving, feeling half dead, but she ran to him and hugged him tightly as she could with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry..." She repeated, not letting go, and sobbing into his shirt, not caring that the only thing she was wearing was a hospital gown.

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Beck Hades.

"Beck!"

Elisa's voice echoed down the corridors, pouncing off every wall and ringing sharply through his ears. The hospital seemed to slide into slow motion as the blonde turned on heel towards the sound before meeting the gaze of his brunette, bandages wrapped tightly around her tiny skeletal wrist. His pupils switched from her eyes to the white that hid the wounds and he instantly new that this was no accident. She had wanted to take herself away from this world drowning in her own crimson mess.

Beck blamed himself.

The blonde froze on the spot; his eyes threatening to let out salty as Elisa dashed towards him. She hid her face into his chest and repeatedly told him that she was sorry. The whole situation felt a little unreal to him, and he could not quite manage to pull his arms around him until after a moment or two of assessing the situation. Though instead of a embrace, the blonde gently scooped her up and carried her back into the room she had just left and placed her unhealthy thin body under the sheets.

The youth then knelt at the side of her bed, his hand lightly holding hers, completely encasing the tiny thing. Not a single word escaped his lips but what was warming in his mind could have not been any louder. I slept with Millie, I failed to support my gang, I failed to look after Elisa, I lead her to suicide. I did it. I'm sorry. Slowly the tears slid down his face as a nurse tapped him on the shoulder, waving a guestbook in his face and scolding his entrance. He scribed his name with shaky hands as she still continued her lecture, but all he heard was the ringing of his own thoughts...

The youth then managed to look at Elisa and lock with her eyes. His lips opened as though he wished to say something, but they closed just as quickly. He sighed, lightly pouring warmth into her cold palms by tracing his index finger on the centre.

"Its like looking at a trampled flower...I'm pretty sure I stepped on you. I'm sorry Elisa..."

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She had never felt smaller, than when Beck carried her in his arms as she soaked his shirt with tears and apologies. By the time he had laid her back on the bed, the tears had stopped and her eyes were left red. She saw his tears and they made her heart drop. Never in her life had she seen a boy cry, much less a boy named Beck Hades. He was always so calm, so flirty and carefree. He was a refreshing splash of color in a world that seemed so black and white. She loved him for it.

"Its like looking at a trampled flower...I'm pretty sure I stepped on you. I'm sorry Elisa..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," She said quietly, her green eyes resting on his hazel ones. "You didn't sign up for this mess." She smiled and remembered they were just friends. He had no obligation to her to be here, to worry, or to scoop her up in his arms while she cried. She had forced her crazy life upon him and no amount of words could describe how sorry she was about it.

His hands almost felt hot against her icy ones. She was always cold and always tired and more than anything she just wanted him to hold her. For being a friend, she was awfully in love with him and she just didn't have the guts to say it. Elisa didn't deserve him, or she felt like she didn't. She had already put him through so much in a simply platonic relationship and he still didn't know everything and it was unlikely he'd stick around to learn the rest.

She briefly wondered how he had figured out where she was. Nobody would have called to tell him, they didn't have his number, and her parents would be too busy worrying about themselves. There were so many thoughts running through her head and she didn't know what to do with them all, so she pushed them aside for the time being.

As his index finger traced circles in her palm, she twined her fingers in his. "Thank you," She whispered: for being there, for running through the hospital like a crazed person, for being her friend, and for making her smile. There wasn't just one thing she was thanking him for, the list could go on for endless hours. And in that thank you were the words she could never allow herself to really say.

I love you, Beck Hades.

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Beck Hades.

"You have nothing to be sorry for,"

The blondes eyebrows raised questioningly. He was pretty sure Elisa was not thinking that back when she was screaming at him and forcing him to leave her company. Of course, he did not blame her for being angry before. None of that mattered now to Beck. He just needed to make sure she was alright and willing to continue breathing in air to go on with life; though she was doing well in hospital, there was nothing saying that she would not attempt again once alone.

Even though he had ran the words "suicide attempt" through his mind time and time again, it still felt like some kind of horrible nightmare that he had just awaken from.

"You didn't sign up for this mess."

"Woah woah woah!..." Beck stumbled out the exclamation with a kind of false smile ghosted on his lips. "Yes I did Miss Grace! I'm here for you always, I have said that time and time again and I really hope you believe me!" He leaned in closer to her, pupils still staring right in the back of her skull as he gave her hand another reassuring squeeze. Elisa needed to believe that. Beck did mean it after all. She was right he never signed up for this, he wanted to help his Elisa.

Slowly, the youth moved forward again, clearly hesitant and clumsy. Beck was pretty sure if he aloud it his cheek bones would be flushing a pale pink right now. He did not really have any idea what he was doing and so placed a gentle kiss on her forehead out of instinct; wordless. It was something so naïve and so gentle that the action did not seem to have come from the blonde. It was not flirty or sexy and there was no humorous content to it, just pure honest...love...?

That then triggered a remembrance of events in his mind. A thick cut hid somewhere deep under his golden hair from where he had smashed it against the shower after a long night of regret with Millie. Of course he decided to keep such a conversation away until she noticed his head, which of course was not what the most important thing was right now. He sighed and forced out a stupidly boring question as he pulled his body onto the bed alongside her, close enough so their hips touched softly but nothing more.

"When are you being discharged? Are they going to help you with...this?"

Hands still intertwined.

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"Yes I did Miss Grace! I'm here for you always, I have said that time and time again and I really hope you believe me!"

Elisa wasn't sure what to say to him. She felt like they were just words, product of the situation she had put herself in. Nobody willingly makes a crazy girl a part of their life. Especially not a crazy girl with so many skeletons in her closet she practically had an entire cemetery in there. Maybe she'd believe him, if she didn't constantly devalue herself.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you. I get defensive. Nobody ever confronts me about anything. I don't know how to deal with it when they do." She said, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She was nervous and felt like she was admitting to a problem she still wasn't ready to face. Her eyes started with well up with tears again, but she stopped herself before any started to fall. No more crying, not today. She put back on that small, empty smile everyone was so accustomed to seeing. It was the only thing that felt natural to her right now. A smile to cover up all her problems.

When his lips touched her forehead, her cheeks turned an embarrassing shade of pink and she put her hands over her face to hide it. That kiss, though entirely innocent, felt far too raw and emotional and it was difficult for her to handle. When he crawled into the bed next to her, the color on her face on intensified but instead of hiding in her hands she could now hide in his shirt that was still slightly damp from all her tears.

"When are you being discharged? Are they going to help you with...this?"

Her heart began to pound at this question and she wasn't entirely sure how to answer. She was being discharged tomorrow morning, which wasn't the average three day psychiatric hold for people who attempt suicide, and she was almost sure Beck wouldn't be happy about it. "I-It was a..." Her voice shook slightly as she spoke and she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "They were told it was an accident. I'll leave tomorrow. You don't need help when it's just an accident." She wasn't sure if she wanted the help to begin with, even if it were an option. Despite telling herself she wouldn't cry, a single tear fell, though she quickly brushed it away.

She was so tired of all the cover ups and the lies.

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Beck Hades.

"I'm sorry I screamed at you. I get defensive. Nobody ever confronts me about anything. I don't know how to deal with it when they do."

Beck exhaled lightly, running his fingertips through his hair with his spare hand like he usually did when he was trying to place together words in a sentence. He rarely found that difficult to do, what with his overly confident attitude and normally being slick enough to role compliments and cover up statements off his tongue when ever needed.

However, sometimes he struggled for words when he was neither "Flirty Beck Hades" or "Leader of the Shards". It may have sounded odd but Beck found it difficult to be someone who was not acting or fitting to a needed role; he could not be himself when he did not know who himself was anymore. "I know, I know. I approached it wrongly, so I'm sorry too." He said with a low tone. "I mean you saw me with some guy who looked like his face had been run over by a truck right? You were bound to ask questions, I was not right to go prying into sensitive areas just because you were curious,"

"When are you being discharged? Are they going to help you with...this?"
"I-It was a..."
"They were told it was an accident. I'll leave tomorrow. You don't need help when it's just an accident."


The youth let out a roar of a snarl and had to grit his teeth in order to stop curse words and angry comments escaping. His breaths were heavy and uneven, eyes cruelly narrowed as though examining in detail what she had just said. "If that's what your parents have told them they need stabbing through the eyes...Sorry if that offends you. Alan told me the same thing too but I guess its different for him, his job is on the line." Beck pulled a arm around her as she curled into his chest, once again stroking her soft pale skin upon her arm for comfort purposes and also the fact her could not resist her touch.

"You know you could go and get..." He stopped, closing his jaws with a click of his teeth and lowering his head. It was likely that Elisa did not even want help, and he did not want to start a argument once again and so he lead the conversation down another path, though it was very similar. "I used to be on Benzodiazepines, after I got caught up with the whole gang thing I was very skittish and panicky. They helped me... Have you not ever thought about just...talking to someone? You don't have to have medication."

A dark humorous thought echoed in Becks mind. He wondered how many meds he would need to take to cool down after revealing his identity to a good number of bastards who would not mind him dead...