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Elisa Grace

"Secrets will destroy you, just like they destroyed me."

0 · 2,058 views · located in Some city, Somewhere

a character in “Keeping Secrets.”, as played by dreamingreality

Description

Image
♦ The Basics ♦

» Name: Elisa Leanne Grace
» Age: 17
» Gender: Female
» Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
» Occupation: N/A

Image

♦ The Description ♦

» Face Claim: Nerysoul on Deviant Art.
» Hair: Very long, medium brown
» Eyes: Bright green with darker blue outer rim.
» Face: Pale
» Build: Slim/Slender
» Style: Casual
» Markings: She has a scar over her right eyebrow that she uses make up or her hair to cover up.




Image

♦ The Character ♦

» Likes:

- Art, particularly painting
- Graphic design, CGI
- Mathematics
- The smell of rain on concrete
- The feeling of sand between your toes

» Dislikes:

- The lie she's forced to live
- Warm, humid days
- The way lotion feels
- Her mother
- Having dirty hands from paint, food, etc.

» Phobias:

- Trypophobia - Intense, irrational fear of small, clustered holes. Google Image it. I dare you.
- Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
- Automatonophobia - Fear of ventriloquists dummies.

» Habits:

- She drums her fingers against hard surfaces
- She often chews on the side of her cheek

» Personality:

Depending on whom she’s with or the situation, Elisa can blend in quite well. At home she is a well behaved, perfectly postured, and well spoken debutante. She pretends to care about things that are going on within her parent’s circle of equally pompous and ridiculously wealthy friends, and carries herself with refined elegance. Her problems don’t exist because they’re not allowed to. In other words, Elisa is a great actor.

At school, Elisa does her best to be a nobody. She’s about as shy as a person can possibly be and jumps at the sight of her own shadow. She rarely speaks to anyone unless directly spoken to and even then they’re lucky if they get more than one or two words from her. Most of her time is spent reading and doing homework.


In recent years, she’s been obsessed with controlling her weight and what she eats, as it’s one of the only things she CAN control in her life. She’s extraordinarily depressed and finds joy in very few things.

Now there’s what you could call “the real Elisa,” the side of her she pushes away and hides from people; the Elisa that very few people will ever get to know. If comfortable to open up to someone, they’ll find that – despite all the negativity she feels – she’s quite normal. She can be flirty, she likes to have fun, she loves deeply, and all she really wants is to be the mother to her daughter. However, this Elisa has been pushed so far down that even she’s not sure she exists anymore.





♦ The Past ♦

» History:

Elisa was born to a wealthy family, who own a several businesses throughout the United States. Her house was filled with rules on how to act, how to dress, what to like, and her future was all set up for her. From the moment she was born she was destined to join the family business. She wasn’t just a daughter to her parents; she was a long term investment. They had plans and dreams for her, never allowing her to have her own. As she got older this caused a great deal of stress. The pressure to be perfect was too much for a young girl to handle and eventually, she began to control her life in the only way she figured she could. The amount of food she consumed on a daily basis began to dwindle into nothing and by the time she was thirteen, she had already been hospitalized on multiple occasions: her parents doing their best to cover them up.

Her freshman year of high school, she met a boy named Malachai. He was sweet to her, a little on the alternative side, and everything her parents despised, but Elisa absolutely adored him. For the first time in her life, she was happy. When she wasn’t at school, she was with him. But all good things must come to an end, and by the time the year was out Malachai had been in a horrific car accident. He passed away shortly after and a week later, Elisa would find out she was pregnant at fourteen.

When her parents discovered Elisa’s pregnancy, they were outraged. They couldn’t convince her to terminate the pregnancy, it was the only thing she had still connecting her to her late boyfriend. So they moved and for a majority of her sophomore year, she was home schooled and her mother pretended to be the pregnant one. And while Elisa’s eating habits had changed drastically for the health of her unborn child, the moment Jessa came into the world, she returned to her anorexic ways – this time much worse than before. She dabbled in the world of cutting, began to smoke cigarettes to decrease her appetite, and completely separated herself from her classmates. Until this year, nobody had really noticed her. Teachers would forget her name even at the end of the year, students spread silly rumors, and that was just her life. Then she met Beck Hades, the flirty boy with long blonde hair. Their friendship made absolutely no logical sense and their fellow students often felt the need to point it out. But she wasn't completely alone anymore and that comforted her.

» Family:

- Diana Leigh Grace, Mother
- Joshua Edward Grace, Father
- Jessa Marie Grace, Daughter (known to others as her "Sister")

» Relationships:

Friend/Romantic Interest: Beck Hades

» Secrets:

- She has a three year old daughter named Jessa.
- Elisa is anorexic.

» Other: None

So begins...

Elisa Grace's Story

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Character Portrait: Beck Hades Character Portrait: Elisa Grace
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"If that's what your parents have told them they need stabbing through the eyes...Sorry if that offends you."

While the fury in his eyes was a terrifying thing to behold, Elisa couldn't help laugh quietly. "I'm not offended. My parents are..." She trailed off, not quite sure how to describe them or how she felt about them. She desperately wished she could say she loved them, that her mother was her mom and her father was her dad, but in reality they were just the people that supplied the means for her to be born. But then, when she stopped to think about it, there was a time when they weren't horrible. "Before I screwed up they were intense, but I could deal with it, I just never realized how much they cared about appearances until then. Before Jess." She shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"Alan told me the same thing too but I guess its different for him, his job is on the line."

"Had he told you and my parents found out that he did he would've been fired on the spot. It's happened before," Elisa explained, relaxing in his arms as she listened to his heartbeat. Despite the serious conversation and subject matter, she was comfortable and happy with the fact that she fit perfectly against him. Everything about him was calming to her, at least in that moment. She felt save there, in his arms, and even if he didn't feel the same about her, she was okay with that because she had him now.

"I used to be on Benzodiazepines, after I got caught up with the whole gang thing...."

I got caught up with the whole gang thing
The whole gang thing
Gang


While she had had suspicions about his involvement in something like that, she was never entirely sure and the rest of what he was saying went in one ear and out the other. Beck, her Beck, was in a gang. Her heart pounded and she wanted to take him by the hand and out of town and away from that lifestyle. A lifestyle where he wasn't safe and could get hurt at any moment. She thought back to the bloodied man and how one day that could be him. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and clung like a mother fucking koala, despite the fact that it hurt her arm quite a lot to do it. "I'll keep you safe," She whispered, still refusing to loosen up her hold on him. "If it means I have to keep you right here and never let go, I'll do it."

If anything were to ever happen to Beck, it would kill her. It would destroy everything and her world would start crashing around her. If this were any other time, and she hadn't just tried to off herself, she would have been pissed and told him he needed to get his ass out of that because he was too good for that life...but right now she was scared and unsure of what to do about it.

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Beck Hades

"I'm not offended. My parents are..."
"Before I screwed up they were intense, but I could deal with it, I just never realized how much they cared about appearances until then. Before Jess."


Beck tilted his head to the side, as though causing his thoughts to tumble and concentrate on one side of his brain. As she fidgeted in the plain covers he continued rubbing his thumb comfortingly on her arm. Once again he opened his mouth and moved his tongue as though to speak, though only a unclear and meaningless"Hma.." came out. What exactly did he want to say? "What do you mean? Before Jess? You mean before they had your sister they seemed like different people?" Of course he would never understand with out any where near enough facts to fix together a conclusion...

"Had he told you and my parents found out that he did he would've been fired on the spot. It's happened before,"

"Alan got sacked and rehired? He seems pretty loyal to the family and a big part of your house so it must have been something pretty drastic for them to want to get rid of him..." He said, more talking to himself then Elisa of course. The blonde found himself kind of shelling his body around the brunette, donating all his warmth to the girl. It was kind of like what mother cats did with their kittens. It was kind of like bliss.

"I'll keep you safe,"
"If it means I have to keep you right here and never let go, I'll do it."


"Hey..." Beck chuckled lightly at her body clinging to him. It sent shocks along his spine and make his skin tingle with a nice feeling. "You do realise you are not wearing very much beautiful, not that I am complaining of course! But I'm unsure if you know that what with the way you're holding me..." Of course this conversation was completely pointless and purposely off topic to what she had said. Even though the words themselves seemed nice and flirty and Beck like, his voice was most definately rough and uneasy round the edges. He swallowed and paused for a short length of time before plucking up the courge to respond with something similar to an answer. Heart pounding in his chest.

"Please don't let me go then Elisa...It's funny because you really have no idea..."

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"What do you mean? Before Jess? You mean before they had your sister they seemed like different people?"

Elisa gave him a sad smile, and watched his hand on her arm. "Jess isn't my sister, Beck." She was so quiet when she said it, having never come so close to admitting it to anyone and she inhaled deeply before continuing on with: "That boy who died, she's his. And I...She's...She's mine." The air, at least on her part felt incredibly tense. Her heart was pounding inside her chest, so hard she was afraid it would jump right out. She was terrified he would leave her now, and she wouldn't blame him if he did. Her life was far to complicated for anyone to get involved in. She had an eating disorder, suicidal tendencies and a kid that she pretended was her sister because her parents told her to.

"Alan got sacked and rehired? He seems pretty loyal to the family and a big part of your house so it must have been something pretty drastic for them to want to get rid of him..."

"No. Not Alan. We had someone before him that got fired. They got tired of the secrecy and confronted my parents, and that was that," She stated bluntly. "So no one talks. As far as anyone's concerned, whatever my parents say is the truth. Even if it's not." The corners of her mouth turned down into a frown. As far as her parent's were concerned, they were God and Elisa's world was their doll house. They controlled everything in Elisa's life and it was so tiring to play their games, but she had no other choice. They were her parents. She had to listen.

"You do realise you are not wearing very much beautiful, not that I am complaining of course! But I'm unsure if you know that what with the way you're holding me..."

Her cheeks turned a startling color of tomato red but she still didn't let go. "I don't care. As long as you're here, I know you're okay and I'm...I'm happy," She whispered, placing her lips on his shoulder in a gentle kiss. She wasn't exactly a happy person and she still felt that death was the only thing that could fix all her problems, but in that moment she had Beck and it was okay.

"Please don't let me go then Elisa...It's funny because you really have no idea..."

"I won't Beck. As long as you let me, I'll never let go." And that was all she could think to say to that.

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(I'm sorry this post is messy and long. If its annoying you about the two different subjects you can focus on Jess on your next post and the gang on the one after. Sorry for being so complicated and kind of character selfish.)

Beck Hades.

"Jess isn't my sister, Beck."
That boy who died, she's his. And I...She's...She's mine."


At that point his heart sank. He was unsure if that was disappointment, jealousy or just pure despair about what she had been through. Beck turned and locked eyes with his brunette, expression showing a tangle of emotions crossing and constantly changing. He gave her a light squeeze before deciding to start a conversation. "You were 14 or 15?...wow...Oh god..." Was the first thing he said which might have come across as somewhat rude but he kept his voice low and gentle.

Beck really did not know what to say at all. It was pathetic how little help her parents had given Elisa and it was kind of sinking in on how much this guy had meant to her. Even if he was just a teenhood fling, (Which with all the facts and Elisa's comments about him, he was pretty sure he was more than that) he was the father to Jess. At that very moment he also realised Elisa could now never be interested in him, he could never be Jess's father and he could never be anything comparable to the boy she was with before. "I guess you have been though a hell of a lot then...I'm sorry..." He whispered lowly, trying to force more words out of his mouth but was unable to pluck any from his mind.

Speechless.

"I don't care. As long as you're here, I know you're okay and I'm...I'm happy,"
"I won't Beck. As long as you let me, I'll never let go,"


Yet her she lay, planting kisses on his shoulders and clasping her near naked body around him. Being honest that cut through Beck like knives. She had tones of secrets and hushed words and it hurt him because he knew he had just as many. However he wanted nothing more than to protect the girl he loved. However Beck was only human...he wanted to fall back into the arms of someone who could not even support herself.

He was being selfish.
He did not matter right now.
She needed help not him!
Keep your mouth shut Beck...this is not important right now.
Elisa only matters.


"I am the Leader of a gang I don't want to be in named the Shards, however to keep myself safe I selfishly asked my friends to keep my identity a secret. But the The Emeralds, my rival gang, found out by us having a imposter in the group and they caught me and....and they cut me up before I managed to be dragged out. They don't know if I am the leader anymore and so are now attacking my gang members until I show my face again..." His Adams apple bobbed hard in this throat as he turned away from Elisa. "I'm showing them I still exist next week to stop people getting hurt just like the man you saw before. I'm scared and I'm angry and alone. I...I slept with Millie last night after our argument and this morning even before I found out about you ended up bashing in my head pretty badly... Not that any of that has any significance."

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ooc||
You're not being character selfish at all. xD
The Jess situation can be dealt with later.

------

"You were 14 or 15?...wow...Oh god..."

Thinking back, she realized how young she was and how young she still was. Her whole life seemed very surreal when she thought about it, like a dream where she was just watching it all go down. She chewed on her bottom lip, embarrassed and thinking he must have thought so terribly of her now. "I know," Was all she managed to squeak out in response. For having a baby, Elisa had never been a mother. She had never gotten the chance to be and she didn't deserve that chance anyway. She was far too selfish and broken to ever be called someone's 'mom.'

The next part of their conversation came out of Beck so fast and there was so much to take in all at once, it almost made her dizzy. Her eyes grew wide the more her talked about being a gang leader, how he was hurt, about him purposefully exposing himself, and finally sleeping with Millie and hurting himself earlier that day. She wasn't sure which part to react to. She was sad, scared, jealous, and angry at the same time. How was she supposed to handle all of that information at once? It all broke her heart in several different ways and made it so that she wanted to push him away and comfort him all at once. Her seventeen year old heart was overloaded with emotions and her brain so crammed full with thoughts she thought she might spontaneously combust at any moment.

"I...you...Uh," She struggled to find words. "Why don't you...just...leave? You can't stay if you're going to get hurt! And why would you bash your head in like that?" Finally, something came out of her that wasn't just sounds, though the look on her face was one of pure confusion. Her eyes darted back and forth from the wound on his head and back to him: searching for something though she wasn't quite sure what it was. Then, though it was probably the least important thing he had said, it hit her. Beck had slept with another girl, and recently too; within the last twenty four hours he had had sex with that girl named Millie. It shouldn't have hurt her as much as it did, it shouldn't have rattled her that badly. They weren't together, it wasn't like he cheated, he wasn't hers...but even so, she was having a hard time not completely falling apart.

"I don't think I needed to know about that part with Millie," Elisa said quietly, pulling away from him and looking anywhere but directly at Beck. She had tried to make it sound more like a 'Too much information, dude' but instead sounded like she was about to cry. Her voice had even cracked a little when she said Millie's name.

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Beck Hades.

"I know,"

Elisa clearly could not find anything to say about the subject either. Her lack of a response made Beck wonder if he had offended her, but her arms still clasped tightly around him said otherwise. The blonde could see the uneasiness swarm behind her eyes. She knew? Then why was she so young? Why was she not protected? Of course he knew that mistakes happened, and no matter how hard you try to erase them, they still leave smudges.

Not that Jess looked like a mistake to Beck. She was a cute little fucker.

"Why don't you...just...leave? You can't stay if you're going to get hurt! And why would you bash your head in like that?"

The youth sighed heavily, leaning back against the bed frame with his pupils finding the ceiling more interesting than the beauty at his side. "I can't. I want to protect all of them. If I leave the person who will follow in my place is a lot more reckless and violent...." He explained, voice quiet and dark in case of anyone eves dropping. "So it would be like a commander sending his troops to their suicides. At first I thought it was brave staying for their own sake, but now I just realise how stupid I am."

He then traced the cut along his forehead with his fingertipswhich had neatly been stitched up by Millie and hidden by his hair. Beck chewed at this inside of his mouth, recalling breaking down and thudding his skull hard against the tiles of the shower. "I regretted sleeping with her and upsetting you. Generally just all my life choices being honest."

"I don't think I needed to know about that part with Millie,"


The blonde noticed the wobbled in her voice and the harshness of her tone, though could not exactly pin point what it was meant to imply exactly. Elisa had pulled way from his embrace and turned to face the wall. It made him extremely uncomfortable. "Hey..." He said, placing a warm hand lightly on her arm. He wanted to believe she was jealous but Beck was pretty sure that was only what he wanted to think. Still, curiosity always kills the cat.

"That...that kind of sounded like it upset you. I'm sorry Elisa...Why?"

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"I can't. I want to protect all of them. If I leave the person who will follow in my place is a lot more reckless and violent...."

"Gangs are reckless and violent, Beck. How did you get yourself involved in this anyway?" She sighed, putting her hands over her face and feeling slightly frustrated: mostly because she didn't want Beck to get hurt and he was so willing to throw himself to a group of rabid dogs. Couldn't he see that he was worth more than the blood and the fights and all the dangerous things he had gotten tangled up in? Things that had already scarred him and could kill him? Plus, Millie was in this gang of his. Even though that wasn't important at all, her jealousy made it seem like a valid reason for him to leave.

"I regretted sleeping with her and upsetting you. Generally just all my life choices being honest."

Elisa's eyes darkened, looking into Beck's. "Don't you ever hurt yourself again. You're too good for that, B." She knew telling him this made her a hypocrite. She was all bandaged up in the hospital for trying to kill herself and it was likely that she'd try again in the future, if her mental state hadn't drastically improved by then. She swallowed hard at the thought, but at least now she knew that Beck had Millie and she was sure Allison would continue taking wonderful care of Jessa if Elisa ever did manage to kill herself. She tried to clear her mind of those dark thoughts, but only managed to quiet them. At least she had now turned away from Beck and he wouldn't see all those emotions written on her face.

Every thought of Millie made her feel as though she was being punched repeatedly in the stomach and Elisa had no idea how to deal with it. She bit her lip through the pain, trying to think of something else, ANYTHING else. She studied the wall she was facing, with its every blemish and imperfection. It had almost worked and then:

"That...that kind of sounded like it upset you. I'm sorry Elisa...Why?"

At that moment she really wished she was one of those people who were complete devoid of all emotion, like a robot. "I'm just tired," She whimpered. She's from his world. Totally opposite from me. It's stupid to think he wouldn't want her. She's part of his world. I'm...not.

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(Sorry for being so late. Had a lot of things to do and invites out cause apparently my social life is somewhat still existing._

Beck Hades.

"Gangs are reckless and violent, Beck. How did you get yourself involved in this anyway?"


Beck could not help but let out a "Tsk" of disapproval at what she had just stated. He pressed his lips into a thin line as he turned to Elisa with a shake of his head. "These reckless and violent people are my friends just remember. A lot of them don't have valid family's or safe places to go back to so The Shards is the only place where they get the slightest bit of emotional warmth. There's a lot more than first meets the eye you know..." He explained in a low and rather monotone voice. "I don't really know how I got involved really. My friend joined and I find myself "visiting him" and after I guess I got...Attached?"

"Don't you ever hurt yourself again. You're too good for that, B."

The blondes eyes saddened and pupils fell heavy, vision rolling to the floor. He lightly felt at the sown wound on his head and recalled the blood and burning warm water sliding down his body as the world began to spin in a blur. "Too good for that eh? Nobody deserves to hurt themselves. Its just emotions that puppet us..." He then began to address her personally. "Sometimes you just need to focus on the reasons to stay and be safe...there is always a reason and always someone who cares..." Beck's eyes rolled to her thin bandaged wrist before he gently and rather sheepishly took it in his hand and began planting soft kisses on where her cuts hid behind the white. He wished that his lips would just instantly heal her, along with her poor broken heart. He did this for a good few seconds before pulling away from the brunette and smiling uneasily. Wondering if what he had just performed would make her uncomfortable or the opposite.

"I'm just tired,"

Clumsily trying to fix his old flirty and confident personality back together he gave Elisa a false smile. Her response made him realise how stupid and ignorant he had been with his words recently. "Would you like me to leave you alone sexy? I could come back later tonight or very early tomorrow morning after you have had some beauty sleep? Not that I want to go."

The thought of leaving her alone scared him.

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((Eep. Sorry for replying so late. I've been tired and busy.))

"These reckless and violent people are my friends just remember. A lot of them don't have valid family's or safe places to go back to so The Shards is the only place where they get the slightest bit of emotional warmth. There's a lot more than first meets the eye you know..."

Elisa frowned at that but didn't say anything. She didn't exactly have a great home life either. Her parents were pretty cold and unforgiving, but she didn't run off to join a gang because of it. Even though she wasn't great at it, she was sure they could all make friends. Hell, they could just be friends with a hang out. She would never understand why they became a gang or why Beck joined up no matter how hard he tried to explain it. Maybe it was how she grew up, maybe she just just heartless bitch, but she didn't get it.

"Why don't you ever talk about your home life?" She said, switching topics. She couldn't recall Beck ever talking about his parents or where he lived. He knew all about her fucked up parents but never really shared anything about his family. He could have seven sisters or be a twin and she wouldn't even know it. It struck her that the situation might be a bit touchy so she tacked on: "You don't have to if you don't want to."

She winced when Beck started to kiss her bandages. Not because it hurt, but because it was embarrassing for her to have to deal with. She couldn't deal with her life, she tried to find a way out, and she failed. Elisa briefly wondered if he thought she was pathetic because of it.

"Sometimes you just need to focus on the reasons to stay and be safe...there is always a reason and always someone who cares..."

She wanted to believe his words and say that she would do that from now on, but sometimes those reasons she could find just weren't enough; not in the heat of the moment, not when those dark and depressive thoughts were screaming out inside her head.

"Would you like me to leave you alone sexy?"

She didn't, she really, really didn't want him to leave her alone. Even though she was hurt over Millie and sad that he didn't love her like she wanted him to, she still wanted him there. While she faced the wall and still refused to look at him, she did whisper a quiet "Please stay."

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(Shit tones of speech. Poo. It's alright I understand, and I hope everything is alright<3)

Beck Hades.

At that point, the blonde felt like he was slowly losing Elisa. He was unsure what it was; Drowning in daydream? Her blood boiling with hatred for him? Sadness? He had no idea at all but her thoughts were drifting. Beck just knew that he wanted her to wake up and give him a half hearted smile as he made some jokey false compliment about having sex together or how terrible the school education system was. Instead, they were sat in a hospital bed, his girl wrapped in suicide bandages as he talked about his secret life of gang warfare. How fucking brilliant.

"Why don't you ever talk about your home life?"
"Hey! What?..."
"You don't have to if you don't want to."

The youth had never really ever spoken about his life at home, mostly cause it did not exist so much anymore. There was no sob story to it really. In fact, after pausing for breath he let out a light chuckle at her question before replying with a very honest response. "What? You think they are drug addicts or dead? Surprisingly not...My Mother is a very highly regarded business woman who is never at home anymore cause of work. Loveliest and prettiest woman you could ever meet but she cares more about her job than us..." He explained, voice lowering at the end.

"My Dad's a failed artist. So he just sits at home and draws and sells them now and again for a couple of quid." He allowed a soft grin to peep from his lips as he leant against the wall, turning to the brunette who hid away from his sight. "But he is happy and that's what matters. I have no siblings due to Mum being and no close other family. Its so dull and my Dad is more interested on how I style my hair than my grades or what I get up to out of the house, so a lot of the time I spend in the flat...Boring huh..."

"My only real problem is what goes on in the Shards...I'm in denial, but I'll admit, I kind of enjoy dancing in fire attempting not to get burnt."

"Please stay."

Beck was surprised with how abrupt and sweet the answer was. He really did need to hear it and it sent shocks of pleasant warmth up his spine. He wondered if he could heat up Elisa's cold heart with what he had just been blessed with. "How about you face me beautiful?" The blonde whispered lightly, waiting for a sign of movement. Then something slid from his mouth with out a single thought to hold it steady.

"E...Elisa do you like my company? Like...Seriously like my company?

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Elisa listened to Beck talk about his family and while it didn't sound like the best situation exactly, it didn't seem like the worst. She was a little surprised that it wasn't some horrible sob story, but she had come to expect the worst from everybody's parents. After all, she didn't have much experience when anybody's but her own and they weren't the greatest examples. She just nodded her head, not really knowing how to respond. They sounded like okay people, even if their priorities were a little off.

"E...Elisa do you like my company? Like...Seriously like my company?"

This questioned stunned her a little bit. Did she like his company? Of course she did. She faced him finally, just staring at him quizzically. Did he think she honestly didn't? She never hung out with anyone else at school, she never had anyone over but him, and all the time she could spend with someone else was spent with him if he was available. She was in love with him. "There is no one else I'd rather be with than you," Elisa's words were quiet and then a thought crossed her mind. What if he was asking because he didn't like her company.

"Do you...do you like mine...my company?" Her words came out a little awkward and slightly childish. She was terrified his answer was going to be a no and that he just asked because he wanted to leave. Probably to hang out with that Millie girl. She was insanely jealous of Beck's fellow gang member and she wasn't proud of that. If she ever met the girl she wasn't sure how she'd respond, but she doubted any reaction would be a positive one.

"I guess I'm not exactly fun to be around, huh?" She let out a nervous laugh and bit down on her bottom lip. Hell, the last few days they had managed to get in a fight and then chill at the hospital because of a suicide attempt gone wrong. Things hadn't been that positive as of late and she couldn't really blame him if he didn't like being around her.

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Beck Hades.

Elisa did not seem to have much of a response to what he had said about his family, though he could admit there would be not a lot she could have said about his situation. Beck sat upwards on the bed, looking over the fragile excuse of a human with soft eyes. He wondered what would have happened if he had met an Elisa who was missing the problems she had, and what if he had never joined a stupid gang. Would they be walking hand in hand as lovers? Or strangers with no similarities?

"There is no one else I'd rather be with than you,"

Then, the biggest grin grew on the blondes face and a warm spark raced up his spine. "You know what Elisa...That makes me feel like I have a purpose." He said, not really even understanding what he just stated. It was nice to know he was wanted by somebody, he knew that a good handful of his gang disagreed with his actions and the people at school only appreciated his jokes. Even Millie only wanted his body and reputation. But Elisa? It seemed liek liked him.

"Do you...do you like mine...my company?"

Her voice was a little uneasy and clumsy, which was sadly not too unfamiliar but still made Beck uncomfortable. "Do you think I would have been following you around for the past few months if I disliked spending time with you Elisa? I don't know if you have noticed but I don't have to pretend I am a barrel of laughs with you. I don't have to be fake with you. I treasure every minute I spend with you."

"I guess I'm not exactly fun to be around, huh?"

Beck sighed lightly. "There are times when having fun is not the best option Elisa...But I will tell you what," The blonde lifted his face and forced on a rather convincing devilish smile, and bright seductive eyes that he almost forgot he had. "There is a odd kind of big festival thing down at the park tomorrow evening, once you are out of hospital I'd take you there and you can spend as much as you like of my money. I don't care." The idea made the youth giddy with excitement, he wondered if he could class it as a date. He wondered if it would end up as a romantic night out. He was trying to ignore the fact that she wanted to die, he was trying to make her want to live, but maybe that was not the treatment that she really needed right now.

The blonde paused, wondering if he was rushing things and coming across as insensertive. "That is...only if you want to Elisa. I understand completely if not. I have a meeting with the...guys later on that night and it was something I was going to go to anyway to take my mind off things,"

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ooc|
Do you want to skip to the festival, or would you like me to in my next post? O:

---

"You know what Elisa...That makes me feel like I have a purpose."

What he said made her sad but his smile made her heart skip a beat, and she gave him a sly grin. "Don't go falling in love with me now, Beck Hades." Or do. Of course, she was just being playful and she was sure he knew that. He was her best friend and she didn't want to ruin that, no matter how much her heart yearned for something more. The thought made her stomach flip.

"Do you think I would have been following you around for the past few months if I disliked spending time with you Elisa? I don't know if you have noticed but I don't have to pretend I am a barrel of laughs with you. I don't have to be fake with you. I treasure every minute I spend with you. "

That comforted her and maybe cheered her up a bit, evident by the small smile that spread across her features. "And here I was thinking I just had a stalker," She teased and gave him a small shove with her uninjured arm. This is what felt best and most natural to her. Teasing and joking and not having deep conversations or delving into the darkest parts of their minds. Moments like these where she didn't have to think about how depressed she was, how ungrateful she was or how she had absolutely failed her daughter multiple times. She didn't have to think about how she would never be good enough for her parents unless she was absolutely perfect.

"There is a odd kind of big festival thing down at the park tomorrow evening, once you are out of hospital I'd take you there and you can spend as much as you like of my money. I don't care."

"I tell you not to fall in love with me and you invite me on a date. What am I going to do with you?" Elisa said, rolling her eyes dramatically though it was clearly in jest.

"That is...only if you want to Elisa. I understand completely if not. I have a meeting with the...guys later on that night and it was something I was going to go to anyway to take my mind off things."

And there it was, the thing she had managed to keep off her mind for a full ten minutes. The guys, his gang. He could get hurt. Millie. Her face fell slightly, though she did her best to continue her happy façade. "Yes, Beck. I'd love to go with you." If it kept him away from there for longer, she would stay with him the whole night. She knew she couldn't stop him, but if she could keep him safe, even if it was just for a minute more, she would. While she hated herself and felt like she didn't even deserve to live, she wanted the best for him. She wanted him never to get hurt and for him to be happy.

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Beck Hades.

"Don't go falling in love with me now, Beck Hades."

At that point, Beck Hades the super confident and rather scary heart throb, blushed looking nothing more than a adorable school boy. "I..." He stumbled a letter out of his mouth along side a nervous laugh. It was kind of hard to see if he was just playing or seriously being a little embarrassed. He took risk speaking, trying to joke along, anyway. "T...too late for that beautiful..."

"I tell you not to fall in love with me and you invite me on a date. What am I going to do with you?"

"I do believe I never mentioned such thing as a date Miss Grace, it was only YOU that implied it!" He laughed giving her a light nudge with his fist on the shoulder before placing his hand at the other side of the bed and playfully leaning towards her. Eyes familiarly bright and laced with seduction. "If I was taking you out on a date it take you some place fancy for a meal or a dance and then invite you back to my place or... somewhere nice private and..." He leaned forward and let a brisk purr role off his tongue, not letting his pupils leave Elisa's eyes. He then flinched a little and slid backwards, wondering if his kind of pervy humour was too much. Especially due to what she had just been through. "Sorry..." The blonde briskly apologised.

"Yes, Beck. I'd love to go with you."

He simply replied with a large, over grown, but very handsome grin. "So is this a date or not heh?" Beck asked casually, though he really wanted to know her real thoughts on what this was. Friends going to hang out? A kind of skinny love small date? It kind of ashamed him that his thoughts were over run by love rather than fear for her life, or even his own...

"So...What time am I coming for you? You will be home by the morning or still here?"

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"T...too late for that beautiful..."

Part of her thought he was serious, the other half knew he had to be joking. That didn't stop her heart from fluttering and her cheeks from turning the color of a rose. She noticed that he was blushing a little as well, though Elisa wasn't entirely sure if it was because of what he said or that she had made the joke in the first place. She laughed nervously and smiled, hoping the tension would break. "No you didn't. Shut up." Obviously she had chosen to go with the idea that he was joking, even though she wanted it to be true.

"If I was taking you out on a date it take you some place fancy for a meal or a dance and then invite you back to my place or... somewhere nice private and..."

The way he leaned over her, the look in his eyes, it turned her on. Had he decided to take her right then and there, she wouldn't object and almost wished he would. Good luck trying to get her to admit it, however. When he pulled away so suddenly and apologized she couldn't help but roll her eyes and even give a small frown. Almost immediately, she rolled and straddled him, with her hands placed on either side of his head. She cared very little that all she was wearing was a hospital gown. She stared into his eyes, her own almost looking angry. "Stop treating me like I'm a fragile little thing. I'm fucked up, you know that now, but you don't have to treat me like I'm going to break. I'm not a little girl." As if to prove a point, she leaned down and pressed her lips against his, but only briefly. She pulled away, though she was technically still straddling him, and crossed her arms with a smug look on her face.

Then she realized what she had done and immediately moved herself back to her side of the hospital bed, her face bright red and mortified. "That never leaves this room ever."

"So is this a date or not heh?"

"Maybe. Do you want it to be?" She asked, still embarrassed by her little display.

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Beck Hades.

Her cheek bones matched the colours of his, making him wonder if this whole thing had gone a little too far. She was most likely swarming with embarrassment about the idea of him liking her; of course he was not the kind of person sensible girls would have been proud of, not that Beck was sure if Elisa was a sensible girl, not that he cared either.

Then suddenly he was being pushed into the bed sheets by this beautiful brunette girl, his hips know having two legs swung over each side and a pair of palms alongside his head. As he was pushed backwards he let out a sharp exhale; one part surprise, three part lust. "Oh...god..." He might have moaned in a breath. It took Beck a second before he realised what exactly had happened. "Eli..Elisa!...Y..you are..." He could not quite jumble the words together to tell her the lack of clothing she was wearing. He could almost imagine her skin meeting his and the idea sent him wild and into shock, the fact that she was sat directly on his crotch did not help. For once in his life Beck felt extremely awkward...

He was also extremely turned on.

"Stop treating me like I'm a fragile little thing. I'm fucked up, you know that now, but you don't have to treat me like I'm going to break. I'm not a little girl."

The shock on the blondes face showed a hint of despair and even guilt. He sighed, looking up at the girl and trying to control himself and the hormones pumping through him at bullet speed. "I know Elisa, I am sorry. You have no idea how scared I am though sometimes though I am glad you are-"

Then. Elisa kissed him. It might have only been for a second or two, but still, the love of his life just kissed him. She was sat in a very sexually appealing position above him. She had kissed him. It sent the youth swirling into shock and confusion, yet it had inked a smirk on his face. It then felt like all hope and happiness had been stripped from him when she crawled from his waist, almost ashamed of herself. He was pretty sure that her actions was were to make a statement and her removal from him confirmed this. it was likely nothing love or even lust related. Still questions swarmed his already packed mind.

"That never leaves this room ever."


"Elisa you just straddled me half naked and kissed me...You do know you did that right? Oh my god..." He gasped, maybe not even trying to hold back on giving away the fact that she had made quite a impression on him. "What has gotten into you? N..not that I am complaining...erm..."

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Elisa Grace had just put herself in an extremely awkward position with her best friend. She cold see all the different emotions he had pass over his face and at any other time, she might have laughed. It terrified her that she might have ruined her friendship in one, stupid and impulsive action...but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. She had kissed Beck and she figured it was the only time she ever would. There was no way in Hell she would do it again because what she had done was so out of character and so unlike anything she could have dreamed of doing if this had been a normal day. This was in no way a normal day, however. Part of her felt like a bad ass, but it was a very small part.

"Elisa you just straddled me half naked and kissed me...You do know you did that right? Oh my god..."

"I'm sorry. It was inappropriate. It won't happen again," Elisa said quietly, a look of disappointment replacing her formerly embarrassed expression. By his reaction, she assumed he didn't want her. Even if making Beck want her wasn't the original intent. She could have sworn she saw lust in his eyes when she had been on top of him, even if it was only for a fleeting moment, but she brushed it off as her imagination running wild.

"What has gotten into you? N..not that I am complaining...erm..."

I'm a mess who's in love with you and all I want is for you to want me back. She wished she could be one of those girls who were forward and unafraid to say what they felt, but she wasn't as strong as those girls. "Nothing...I just...I lo-" She tried and failed, cutting herself off before she could say those words and continuing with something else entirely. "I don't want you to think you have to treat me differently than you would any other girl. I'm not going to break if you touch me. I'm not going to cry if you tell a joke."

She sat up in the bed, her knees to her chest, though her legs did a good job covering anything private. Her eyes never left him, though they explored all of him that was visible. He was far too pretty a man to ever be attracted to the likes of her, anyhow. "You are attractive you know. It's not like I exactly minded being on top of you," She teased, shoving him lightly and hoping to make light of the awkward situation. Hoping that maybe he'd just brush it off as a joke and that they could forget about it.

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(Sorry for disgraceful post. Going out with Jack FAGGAGFRSDH so I rushed it. Um Beck leaves hospital soon and skip to tomorrow??? Also tell me about this fanfic ;3)

Beck Hades.

"I'm sorry. It was inappropriate. It won't happen again,"

Beck lowered his head, eyes refusing the meet once again with this girl. She was clearly consumed with regret and embarrassment. Being honest he kind of wished she had the confidence to clamber back into bed with him, whisper dirty things in his ears and keep his mind of the god damn hell that was his gang life. However, Elisa was not that person...she might have been before, or might have even been now...just not for him.

"That kind of depresses me..." The blonde said in a quiet voice, finally turning his pupils in her direction. "Like I said Elisa, I was not complaining. You have not upset me..." He stated but did not really know what to say, for she did not really want to do such an action anyway. "If this is something you just want to forget about then so be it,"

"I don't want you to think you have to treat me differently than you would any other girl. I'm not going to break if you touch me. I'm not going to cry if you tell a joke."


A lump formed hard in his throat. How many times did she have to make this clear? He knew she did not want treating like that but the girl who sent his mind into spirals just almost gave up her life. Beck was terrified and he new he was tip toeing along a mine field of her emotions. If Beck had liked any other girl, he would have pinned her down on the spot and fucked her.

"You are attractive you know. It's not like I exactly minded being on top of you,"

"Fucks sake Elisa you are messing with me and no that's bullshit. You said before that I was the creative moody type yet I cant do so much as fold some paper. I swear everything that comes out of the pretty little mouth of your is bullshit..." Though his words might have sounded sharp, his voice was soft and jokey. He really did want her to answer him straight up though.

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ooc|

Yes, skip skip. (:
And I'll send it to you via Tumblr when she's finished ;D
----

"That kind of depresses me..."
"If this is something you just want to forget about then so be it,"


Elisa was starting to feel really uncomfortable, his words made her feel like they were about to have another fight and she really didn't want that. She couldn't deal with the idea of losing him. "Don't...you want to forget about it? I mean, you and Millie..." She didn't know where she was going with this or why, but she couldn't stop herself before the other girl's name came out of her mouth. She bit down on her lip. He was obviously attracted to Millie over her and if she was anything to judge by, Elisa wasn't even his type.

"Fucks sake Elisa you are messing with me and no that's bullshit. You said before that I was the creative moody type yet I cant do so much as fold some paper. I swear everything that comes out of the pretty little mouth of your is bullshit..."

And then he was going off on her. He didn't sound particularly mad, but what he was saying made her think he was. She wasn't entirely sure what to say and she was pretty sure he just called her a liar and a tease, in so many words. "What are you even saying? I'm not lying when I tell you those things. Even if it sounds like teasing, I'm telling the truth. Don't you get it, Beck?" She was frustrated and sad and her words came out in a bit of a rush.

Before she could say anything else, the nurse walked in with a stern face and a clipboard. "Visiting hours are over," The woman in scrubs said, frowning. Elisa pouted, not happy with this, but knowing she couldn't do anything about it.

"If you still want to see me tomorrow, just come pick me up. I'll probably be home around noon," Elisa told him quietly. She didn't want him to leave and she was pretty sure he was mad at her, or that's what it felt like.

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Beck Hades.

"Don't...you want to forget about it? I mean, you and Millie..."

"Me and Millie?..." Beck repeated lowly, trying to work out what exactly his dear Elisa meant by that. Slowly he shook his head and let out a long and overly drawn out sigh. "I don't like or have any kind of relationship with Millie. She just....likes me a lot. I do stupid things when I am angry." He admitted sheepishly, before pointing a finger to his wounded forehead which still stung with dull pain. "Does this not prove that I regret what I did? I mean I like Millie, but...no...Maybe I would do if she was not as obsessed with me..."

"What are you even saying? I'm not lying when I tell you those things. Even if it sounds like teasing, I'm telling the truth. Don't you get it, Beck?"

"Uh?" He growled quietly, eyes fixed on the brunette who was still perched uncomfortably on the edge of the bed. The blonde swallowed hard before laying a hand upon her shoulder and nuzzling his face into her soft hair. The scent sweet and familiar that took him away from everything he hated. "Have I upset you? I really am sorry," Beck's voice was quiet and soft against her ear.

"Visiting hours are over,"
"If you still want to see me tomorrow, just come pick me up. I'll probably be home around noon,


"Yes mam." He hissed sarcastically before rolling himself from the bed and onto his feet and turning back towards Elisa. "I promise I will be waiting for you, and promise me you will turn up yeah? Make sure you call or text me if you ever need to talk, keep your chin up. Please." At that point, as though she was his own partner or maybe even his younger sister, he gave her the lightest and kindest peck on the lips. It was more comfort than compassion. It was perfect.

"Now we are even..."