Dontae Carmelo's Story

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Up until about six months ago, Tansy life had been a complete fucking disaster non-stop for two years. It had been a beautiful blur of fucking, fighting, and never being sober. She was honestly confused at how she’d managed to get decent grades or not get kicked out altogether. Collin was like fire, pure and dangerous. She was addicted to the pain and the pleasure, then one day it was over. Her life had gone from everything moving around her in a blur, to a complete boring halt.

Now her life was nowhere near as exciting. She still partied, got dangerously close to ODing, and her sex life was great; she had Reed to thank for that. Yet, there was obviously something missing and everyone knew she was different, Collin had fucked her up so bad she wasn’t the same girl she’d been before they’d been together. He’d literally killed her, Nena called her damaged goods and it wasn’t a false statement.

She wanted that life back though. Everyone was convinced that she had moved on, because she was excellent at pretending like nothing had ever happened and that she’d just woke up broken one day. However, she wanted to feel alive again, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted Collin back. He honestly scared the shit out of her, but what she wanted was the way he made her feel, but she’d already convinced herself that the best she could get was Reed and so that’s what she’d settled for.

Her parents were gone on another one of their “Trying to fix our marriage.” vacations. The thought of it was frustrating. They weren’t fixing their marriage, they were going on vacation and fucking and coming home and nothing ever fucking changed. Her mother was still fucking any guy that looked her way and her father was still pretending it wasn’t happening. She hated that her father didn’t just leave her mother and find someone who treated him a million times better.

In honor of her parents being gone, her and Kaleb had invited their friends over. It was supposed to just be a small get together, but it was never just them. The Everett siblings were known for having big ass parties all the time, because their parents were always taking vacations. There parties were responsible for their popularity at their school. Unfortunately though, the party had ended on a bad note and Tansy was still reeling from it.

Collin had come, it was the first time she’d seen him since the night he’d put her in the hospital. At some point during the night Reed had disappeared, leaving her shit faced and all alone. She’d stumbled out front and at first she’d thought she was seeing things, next thing she knew, Collin and her were fucking on the side of the house. Someone had seen them together though and no sooner had they started having sex, Kaleb had stormed around the corner. They’d gotten into a hug fight, ending in the cops crashing their party and sending everyone except for Lauren, Baylee, Donnie, Lux, and Candie home.

Eventually everyone had passed out, except Tansy. She sat at the kitchen table for hours, not moving, listening to the ticking of the clock in the silence. She’d smoked through a whole pack of cigarettes. It scared her how much control Collin had over her, she couldn’t say no to him. She hated herself for cheating on Lux, all he’d done was treat her good and she’d gone and fucked things up with him. In fact he’d disappeared last night, she’d tried apologizing, but he’d just walked out and hadn’t come back.

She took a long drag off her cigarette, outside the sky was starting to lighten. Water drops stained the window, it had rained at some point last night and all she could think about was if Reed was alright and how much she’d screwed up. She lifted her last cigarette to her lips taking a final drag, before flicking it away. The house was a complete wreck. White dust reminisce laced the counters, dirty needles filled the sink, beer bottle and cigarette buds covered the floor. She jumped slightly when someone put a hand on her shoulder, before kissing the top of her head and she knew then it was Kaleb.

He poured himself a cup of cold coffee, before sitting down across from her, wearing nothing but his boxer. Hickys and smeared bubble gum pink lipstick covered his neck and collar bone making it clear it he’d spent the night fucking Nena. His eyes were blood shoot as he held hers for a long moment taking a drink of his coffee, setting it back down and reaching for a bottle of jack the laid on its side on the table still half full of liquor. He poured a good amount in his coffee. Tansy watched him in silence hating how similar they were.

“Where is Lux?” He asked but she merely shrugged as she crossed her legs Indian style on the chair. “He didn’t come home?” he continued, she just shrugged again, clearly irritating him. “Are you going to talk to me?” he said a little sarcastically and Tans just started at him making it clear she didn’t want to talk to him. “And, you wonder why your always getting dealt a shitty card Tans, you’re a bitch to everyone.” He spat and walked out of the room causing her to roll her eyes.

There was a soft knock at the door that made her sigh. She hoped that it was Lux, she really needed to talk to him. She stood up, still dressed in her oversized shirt and ripped up fishnets. He make-up was smeared like she’d been crying, despite the fact she honestly couldn’t remember the last time she cried, and the curls in her blonde hair still hadn’t fallen. When she opened the door she wanted to throw up, but before she had the chance Collin grabbed her wrist and pulled her outside. His black eyes and split lip were still fresh.

“Are you fucking crazy?” she breathed holding his eyes and he only smirked moving in intoxicatingly close but not kissing her.

“I just want to talk.” He said honestly. “Walk with me.” He said glancing to the side walk before looking her over with a smirk. His breath smelled of liquor and cigerette’s mixed with the strong scent of cologne that she could pick out of a room full of other guys wearing the same cologne. Everything about him drove her crazy.

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Reed had always been lucky enough to have the shittiest luck imaginable, starting off with his lack of parents. He’d been used to things never going his way and always having to find a way around his disadvantages. However, the past six months had been increasingly different from the rest of his life. He’s finally for once go the girl he’d wanted Tansy, he was convinced he’d never have a chance, she was far too pretty. Girls like her, Lauren, and Candie, and even Baylee didn’t date guys like him. He was the guy they immediately friend zoned. Yet, Tansy hadn’t of course he was kind of a rebound of her completely psychotic ex-boyfriend, but still he’d end up with her.

There happiness had lasted just about as it took Tansy to down a bottle of Vodka and find a party to crash. He couldn’t leave her though, he’d promised his best friend, Tansy’s brother he wouldn’t hurt her and he stand by her, not tom mention it was painfully clear Tans was still devastatingly in love with Collin. He was fully aware that if he tried to leave her, his friendship with Kaleb would be over and so he forced himself to stay, secretly hoping Collin would come back so that she’d go running back to him.

Lux really did care about her though, so much so he blamed himself for not being able to make her happy, he tried everything, but she was always miserable. She exhausted him to the point where he’d purposely drug her to get a damn break from her bitchy attitude and her constantly being drunk. She completely drained him, yet somehow he couldn’t help but find himself addicted to their misery.

Reed had never once been a cheater, it’d never even crossed his mind. Sure all his other friend, that happened to be girls were beautiful. Lauren was the girl next door kind of beautiful and she didn’t even realize it, Baylee had a younger glow that made her absolutely stunning, and there was no comparing Candie to any of them she was easily the most beautiful. But, temptation had gotten the better of him. He’d been looking for Candace so they could go home from a long night of partying, when he’d found her she was alone and he’d fallen for her games.

He woke up the next morning and snuck out of the room feeling shitty. He didn’t regret sleeping with her, he regretted liking it. Before he knew it, they were sneaking around fucking every chance they got. It didn’t matter where they were the school bathroom, between the bookshelves at the library, and even a few times in the with Tansy after she’d passed out drunk. He told Candie every time was the last time, but she was magnetic and he found himself going back to her every time and he hated himself for doing it. It wasn’t like Candie was just some girl she was Tansy’s best fucking friend, the two did everything together, hell they even showered together. He was no better than Nena when she’d come between Kaleb and Donnie, he was the new fucking Nena and he couldn’t stop himself.

The worst part about it was he knew he should just break things off with Tansy, eventually Kaleb would get over it. What he wouldn’t get over is finding out that his best friend was fucking his little sister’s best friend. It was all a big fucking mess and he was the cause of it. He couldn’t break up with Tansy because as sick and twisted as it was, it was her misery that made him stay he was addicted to the fight, yet Candace made him feel everything that never would. He’s got the best of both worlds and as selfish as it sounds he’s not ready to give that up, because for the first time in his miserable life, he’s the one in control and he likes it.

Last night had been a complete disaster. He’d gone home yesterday to check on his little sister, only to end up in a fight with his mother, she’d chased him out of the house threatening to shoot him. He’d hoped the Everett’s party would get his mind of things. He’d made out with Tansy for a good hour or so until she was drunk, then he’d disappeared upstairs with Candace. Next thing he knew there were police sirens and lights outside. When he’d got outside, the cops were pulling Collin and Kaleb apart and the look on Tansy face made it clear what had happened and he nearly lost it. He wasn’t sure what had come over him, he felt jealous despite the fact he’d literally just been fucking her best friend.

He was pissed, more so that Collin was threatening his twisted little love triangle. Him and Tansy had made quite a scene when they’d started fighting, but he didn’t stick around long, because he was in no mood to fight with her or Kaleb. So he’d taken off and stayed out all night. He’d gone to a club got fucked up and went home with another girl. He’d spent the night having awful sex with some girl who he was fairly certain was a few years older than him. Eventually though he’d slipped his clothes back on and head back to the Everett’s because he’d rather face Tansy and the rest of his friends then his own family. Only when he got back to the house, he walked around back and sat down on one of the chairs lighting himself a cigarette as he watched the sun come up.

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Tansy was fighting with herself, her words were frozen in her throat. She wanted to go on that walk with him, but she had a feeling if she did she wouldn’t come back for a long time. That’s how it used to be, they’d be gone for days at a time, no one would know where they were, she didn’t even know where they were or who was touching her. His eyes were burning into her like daggers for an answer.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea?” she breathed weaker then she mean to. She hated what he did to her, even after six months it was like he’d never even left.

“I think we’re a good idea.” He said with a wicked smirk that made her shiver as he ran his thumb across her bottom lip and on the inside she was screaming at herself to push him away, but he was paralyzing.

Before she could give him the answer that he wanted and that she’d have given him had they had a second longer alone, the door opened up and Donnie leaned in the door way looking them over and she was silently relived that someone had come to her rescue, because she knew Donnie well enough to know there was no way in hell he’d let her go, even if he had to drag her kicking a screaming back into the house.

"Enjoy your beating last night Collin? Or are you craving another one?" He grinned as he spoke casually taking a drag of his cigarette and Tansy couldn’t help but smirk at his sarcasm. "I could do it for you, or maybe Lux, or Kaleb, I'm pretty sure any one of us would be happy to fuck you up, so go ahead, take your pick." he smirked and Tansy held his eyes when he glanced to her, like he was just noticing her, typical, she thought rolling her eyes as she glanced back to Collin who looked completely pissed that he’d been interrupted. "Unless, you know, you came for something else?"

It was silent for a moment and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. Collin’s whole body was tensed like he wanted to beat the shit out of Donnie and she bit her lip terrified that he might. Collin was a complete psycho path when it came to Tansy. In fact there was a time, before they’d dated when Collin had still just been her friend, he had been the nicest out of all the guys in their group. But, there was just something about Tansy that made him crazy, the two of them together were dangerous.

He grabbed her jaw roughly then and kissed her hard and she couldn’t help but kiss him back. If he’d have kissed her five seconds before Donnie had opened the door, they’d have already been gone. His lips traced her jawline and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying because she knew exactly what he was doing and it was painful. He paused at her ear and she froze.

“I know you still love me Tans.” He whispered. “I’m not the one keeping us apart babe, its them.” He said before pulling away and walking down the path and leaving her there. She took a step forward like she was going to go after him and stop him, but she felt Donnie’s eyes burning into her back and that’s what made her stop, she let her eyes follow Collin as he disappeared down the street before she turned back to face Donnie.

She pushed past Donnie, felling that familiar heat she’d always felt between the two of them, it was more faded now then it was when they were kids. She’d always ignored it, because Don was off limits even if she liked him, it was her best friends twin brother. That was practically written in girl code, it had to be. She made her way up the stairs, turning right back into the cold bitch she was, before pausing and turning back to Donnie.

“I swear to fucking God Tae.” She said using her nickname for him, she refused to let anyone else even his own sister call him that, because as far as she was concerned she’d started calling him it and it was reserved for her only. “If you tell anyone about what just happened. I’ll rip your fucking dick off.” She smirked holding his eyes letting him know she was completely serious. She glanced up the stair case like she debated on whether or not to really go upstairs, before heading back down the stairs and pausing in front of him. “Where were you last night?” she breathed crossing her arms in front of her. “You wanna get high and talk about it?” she asked causally, because if she was being honest sure she thought he was gorgeous, but she’d never thought of him as anything but a friend.

“Unless of course you’d rather go fuck Lauren.” She shrugged, because Lauren had told her not to tell anyone and Lauren wasn’t one for spreading rumors or telling about her love life, but she’d ran straight to Tans and told her what had happened. Lauren had always liked Donnie, in the cute school girl kind of way. Tansy bit her lip. “Your call.” She smirked stealing his cigarette, before running up the stairs hopping he’d follow because she needed someone who wasn’t her brother or a girlfriend to talk to and get her mind off of what had just happened.

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Reed stayed outside, smoking for a while. Before he finally lit a joint and took a hit off of it, his headphones around his neck, playing his typical rock music. He was sober for the most part which was bringing out his anxiety. His chest was heavy and he was feeling particularly guilty about fucking some random girl. He’d really lost himself, turned into someone else completely when he was around Candie. He was bad, but he had to admit he loved the rush of being with her or maybe he loved her. He wasn’t entirely sure yet all he knew was he was in over his head.

The one thing he was completely certain of was he didn’t want to lose Candace, because for the first time in his entire life as fucked up as their relationship was she made him feel like he wasn’t completely worthless, she made him want to actually fight and try harder and that scared the shit out of him. He knew it was wrong to think of her like that, he was supposed to be Tansy’s fucking boyfriend, he was supposed to be better than Collin and treat her better, but he’d gone and fucked that up.

He had so much on his mind, he pressed the joint to his lips hoping it easy his mind as he picked at the chipped black nail polish on his nails. He ran his fingers through his hair as he heard the door open behind him and he didn’t have to look to know who it was. He’d grown up with his friends and they were easy to tell apart, easy to pick out in a crowded, and even easier to feel the energy shift when one of them was near. He knew Candie’s energy better than even Tansy and so he knew it was her who’d dropped her heels and sat down next to him.

"Have fun last night?" She smirked and he glanced to her with a shrug. "For future reference Casanova, it's a bit of a mood killer when you take off in the middle of fucking a girl to check on your girlfriend." she said blowing out a breath of smoke and he raised a brow.

He knew deep down under her selfish bitchy act she had to care that when shit hit the fan she might lose Tansy, hell he was terrified not of losing Tansy though, he was scared of what Kaleb would think. Kaleb had let him move in when he had no place to go and he felt like he was completely betraying him, yet still he didn’t care enough to stop.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll try not to worry about my girlfriend next time.” He smirked back as he held her eyes. “But, don’t act like you didn’t find someone else to fuck babe.” He raised a brow. “I’m sure you didn’t miss me too much, maybe for the first five minutes.” He shrugged, taking another hit off of his joint. It was silent for a moment before he finally spoke again “We really got to stop this Candie.” He finally breathed although the comment was nowhere near convincing. She’d be able to read right through him, he didn’t want to stop fucking her.

He’d probably fuck her forever behind Tansy’s back if it meant he got to stay friends with everyone, keep Tansy out of trouble, and be happy himself. That however was all wishful thinking, it was only a matter of time before someone caught them and their little affair was over and that thought of that honestly pissed him off. With Collin trying to get back in the picture, he knew he’d try and get any dirt on them, to win her back, he was relentless.

Lux wrapped an arm around Candie’s shoulder and pulled her close so her head was resting on his shoulder as he kissed the top of her head. It didn’t matter who saw them like that, because no one would think anything of it. If anything they’d think Lux was comforting her, their group was so close that it wasn’t unusual for Kaleb to kiss Baylee or Lauren and it mean nothing or for Tansy and Candace to make out in a game of spin the bottle for everyone else’s entertainment. They’d honestly been through so much together it was crazy that from the outside looking in people probably envied their friendship.

“Then again.” he whispered. “I don’t really want to stop.” He sighed as he rubbed her back gently loving the way she set his whole body on fire even through her clothes.

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Tansy slipped into her bedroom the place was a complete disaster and she rolled her eyes irritated. She should have locked her door, she pulled her shirt off over her head and tossed it away. She heard Donnie come in but she didn’t bother to rush and get dressed, her bare back facing him, her window wide open, because she didn’t really give a shit if someone could see her. She grabbed one of Lux’s old Metallica shirts pulling it on, not bothering to put on a bra, she slipped on a pair of ripped up jean shorts over her fishnets.

She didn’t acknowledge him just yet, in fact she pretended it was just her in the room alone and it was scary how good she was at completely ignoring people. She flipped on her radio not bothering to check what CD she had in her stereo. The Music started as she walked over to her nightstand grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighting a new one taking a drag, before she stood the silver frame with a picture of her kissing Candie’s cheek up right again. Finally she turned her attention to Donnie as she sloppily made her bed, before sitting down on top her purple cheetah print comforter.

“Well are going to come sit down?” she asked holding his eyes, with an attitude that pissed most people off, but she’d had that kind of bitchy attitude for so long now that she didn’t even realize that she sounded like a complete ass hole anymore.

While she waited for him to come and sit down she opened her nightstand and pulled out her flask, her dark purple nail polish, and a zip lock bag full of already rolled joints. She set them on the bed before taking a long drink from the flask, pushing the drawer closed and offing the flask to him with a smirk. She put out her cigarette on her nightstand next to the million other burn marks making it clear that he nightstand doubled as her ash tray. She light a joint resting it between her lips as she started to pain her nails that familiar dark purple color or Dark Angle color that she’d been painting her nails since her freshmen year of high school. Her nails were never unpainted and they were never any other color.

“I’m not blaming you or anything…but had you ben there to pull Collin and Kaleb apart, the cops wouldn’t have been called.” She shrugged, not bothering to look up from painting her nails. “Bad night to decide to take a day off from being Mr. Fix it.” She glanced up to him with an arrogant smirk. “Not only that, I missed you holding my hair back last night.” She said returning her attention back to her nails, like they were more important than him. She was incredibly good at multitasking so while she was painting her nails, she could take a drag from her joint and blow out the smoke without ever having to remove the joint from between her lips, all the while being hyper aware of Donnie’s body language.

Her and Don had a lot of history, he was her best guy friend and he always had been. She could tell him things that she couldn’t tell Kaleb, I’m aside from him being more responsible and always taking care of their group of friends, he was the guy version of Candie. She always got the best of both worlds with them when she need a guy’s opinion she had Tae, when she needed a girls night she had Candace. But, Donnie had always been there to hold her hair back when she was throwing up or pulling her away from guys at clubs, thinking for her when she couldn’t think for herself because she was too fucked up. There were things that he knew about her that even Candie didn’t know, like when her and Collin were together and she’d missed her period and thought she was pregnant, but it had just been a false alarm.

It was crazy to think about all the times he saved her ass and she honestly felt bad for him, because it was just her shit he was dealing with. He was dealing with everyone, trying to keep all his friends in check when they stepped out of line. That much was obvious when he’d come to her rescue just a few minutes ago, putting Collin in check, when everyone else out doing their own thing somehow he found a way to be everywhere at once. She finally pulled the joint from her lips and started blowing on her freshly painted nails.

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She didn’t stay sitting next to him for long and he knew why. She got up and walked a ways away from him and he sighed and stood up then to. It was frustrating that she would let herself feel and he knew that’s what it was. The moment he showed her any kind of touch that wasn’t meant to end in sex, she pulled away from him, she’d shy away like she was afraid if she felt something other than just want what she felt when they were having sex that she might like it and if she let herself like it she’d just end up getting hurt and that irritated him, because he wouldn’t hurt her. Things would be far from perfect, but he’d never leave her.

"My dad gets released today." she breathed and even with her back facing him he could hear the confidence in her voice falter and he raised a brow. It was like Candace Carmello, the girl that all the guys wanted and all the girls wanted to be, to falter in any way.

He didn’t blame her though, according the stories he’d heard from her and Donnie, their dad had been abusive and that was the reason he’d been sent to prison. It was agonizing to think that he father, the man who was supposed to put her on his shoulders and love her, had abused her and made her unable to trust. He knew how she felt though, for the most part, his mother would beat the shit out of him when he was little for no reason at all and his father would simply shrug it off like he had deserved it.

"So, since you've decided to ignore you conscience, how about we get out of here and find somewhere we can pick up where we left off?" she asked pulling him from his thoughts finally turning to face him as she took a finally drag off her cigarette, a smirk on her lips like her father being released didn’t bother her when it clearly did.

He sighed running his hands through his hair, finishing off his joint before flicking it away. He wasn’t entirely sure where they could go. If they went to his house and his mother caught them, she’d kill him literally. Her house was obviously off limits and every one of their friends was inside, even if they were careful there was no way they could get away with it. There only other option was the house in the woods that they’d all turned into their hideaway when there life got too hard to handle or the place that they had crazy parties at when they couldn’t find anywhere else to party. It wasn’t really a house more like a small abandoned shed in the woods, big enough to fit two old couches Collin had managed to get.

“Alright.” He smirked “We can go to the woods?” he said, but didn’t bother to wait for her answer as he walked up wrapping an arm around her waist and slipping around the front of the house with her.

The walked for a while, talking about nothing and everything all at the same time. He loved that when the two of them were alone he could actually talk to her, not just make crud jokes and be an ass hole like all his friends expected him to be, It wasn’t like that with Tansy. When he was alone with Tansy they were either fucking or sleeping they never just talked. Eventually they made their way through the trees and when they got to the place he paused and pulled her close.

He slid a hand into her hair and kissed her hard, loving the way his entire body pulsed with heat. He slipped his tongue past her lips deepening the kiss, before pulling away. “We could talk about your dad…if you want.” He breathed against her lips. “It’s not good to keep it all suppressed babe.” He said honestly, but he already knew she wouldn’t go for it, she wasn’t that kind of girl.

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She went back to painting her nails and she could feel his eyes on her, making her smirk as she finished up her other hand, before raising her fingers to her lips to blow on them. She put the cap back on the nail polish setting it on her nightstand.

"Hey, I've got a lot of you little shits to baby sit, give me a break, I get it wrong sometimes." He smirked and she just laughed under her breath because it was the truth. "Besides, nothing would have happened if you hadn't been fucking Collin." she raised a brow at the boldness of his statement and her smirk dropped. "You should find some time later today or tonight to see Candie though. Our dad gets out today, so she's probably not in the best shape." He sighed and she did to.

He was right, she needed to go spend time with Candie, but she also knew Candie well enough to know that when she was ready to talk she’d come to her. Tansy hated pushing her to talk about the things her father had do to her or the situation in general. There were only two people in the entire world that Candie ever fell apart in front of and it was her and Donnie and she knew that was another reason her and Don were so close. She loved Candace and she hated seeing her upset, but sometimes she wasn’t exactly sure how to get through to her, the same way she knew Candie had a hard time trying to help her with her fucked up love life.

They were all so fucked up, which was what made them so intriguing to everyone in their school. She let it fall silent between her and Donnie for a long moment as she lend against her head bored. She turned her eyes out the window for a long moment as she finished her joint before adding it to the collection of her trashed room and turning her attention back to Donnie.

“She’ll talk when she’s ready, you know that.” Tans breathed with a shrug. “I’m not going to bring it up, the same way you’d be wise to keep your fucking comments about Collin and I to yourself.” She spat. “And I’ll make sure to keep you and Nena’s kiss last night on the stairs to myself.” She said holding his eyes.

She knew it was a harsh but she didn’t give a shit. She’d been looking for Lauren…or maybe Baylee last night when she’d seen them kiss, before she’d stumbled outside and found Collin. She wasn’t sure what it was that drove her absolutely insane about Nena and Donnie being together. Maybe it was the fact that Nena was always calling her damaged goods or maybe it was the fact that she thought Don could do a hundred times better than that skank whatever it was, she knew when she’d seen them kiss last night it had pissed her the fuck off and she’s honestly forgotten about it until Donnie had decided to blame last night on her and she’d got defensive, despite the fact that it had been her fault.

“You’re still in love with her.” She said leaning forward, tauntingly her words were like venom, and they could cut you down and make you feel like shit. “And, I’m still in love with Collin.” She said lying to herself, because she wasn’t in love with him, she was in love with the way he made her feel. “So don’t tell me who I should be fucking Tae and I won’t tell you who to kiss.” She shrugged.

She figured he’d leave, because when she got mean and said cruel things, people tended to walk out on her. She was used to being alone in that sense she was good at driving people away and making them hate her. She lend back against the head bored then and lit herself another joint. Turning her eyes back ot the open window waiting to hear her door slam.

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There was a part of Lux, that even though Donnie was her brother, Lux envied him. He knew everything about her all her darkest secrets and everything she was willing to tell him because she didn’t want to let him in. Donnie knew her imperfections and the reason she was so closed off the same way Collin knew every fucking thing about Tansy. Even when he had what he wanted he still didn’t have them, they weren’t entirely his, because a hug part of Tansy belonged to Collin a part she’d never get back and she could never give him. Just like there was an even bigger part of Candie that was completely shrouded in darkness. Everyone had secrets, but he could see behind her smile and slutty act there were secrets that she should have to carry all on her own.

He watched her debate, like for once she might actually let him into her world. He knew better then to get his hopes up though, maybe if she’d let him in it would finally give him that push he needed to leave Tansy and fight for only her. He already knew that she was playing games with him, she’d play those games till she got bored or they got to close then she’d be done with him. He’d watched her do it since they were kids. That was why he hadn’t left Tansy because after she was finished fucking with his head, he have someone just as fucked up as him to go back to. If she just let him in though, he knew it wouldn’t be as easy for her to play with him and let him go.

"I can't."She finally breathed and he held her eyes, because her voice had been soft and that wasn’t like her. It frustrated him that she wouldn’t let him in, but he wasn’t going to push her because he didn’t want to lose her. "We came here to fuck, not talk, remember?" she smirked and he nodded, matching her smirk.

She kissed him then and he knew the kiss was to shut him up, to change the subject and he just kissed her back. He placed a hand on the back of her neck holding her in the kiss. She slipped her hands up under his shirt, tracing small shapes along his waits making him groan softly against her lips. Her touch was like heroin to him, it was addicting and felt incredible. He’d become used to blaming the way her touch felt on the drugs that were constantly in their system. This time though, he couldn’t blame it on the drugs or the alcohol because he was sober and so he was forced to realize that for the first time since they’d started their fucked up relationship everything he felt with her was real.

He pulled away from her then and laced their fingers together “Then we don’t have to talk about it.” He said holding her eyes, with a smirk, before he led her inside the shed.

There were empty beer bottles, broken bottles, and cigarette bottles scattered along the floor. Pictures of the nine of them through the years taped on the walls, some of just the guys and some of just the girls. The place held so many memories.

He shut the door before reaching out and grabbing Candie and pulling her back to him. He pushed her up against the wall slipping her shirt off before pressing his lips to hers and kissing her hard. He wanted to make her forget about all the shit she was going through, the stuff she wouldn’t tell him, and about her father’s being released. So he kissed her like he was kissing away her pain. He desperately wanted to make her feel the way he could never make Tansy feel, like she was the only girl that mattered to him. He wanted to make her feel like she was worth more than just a cheap fuck.

He lend body against hers, his lips left her moving slowly along her jawline and down her neck. He slipped a hand past her pants rubbing between her legs as he brought his lips back to her, slipping his tongue past her lips and kissing her deeper.

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Tansy had heard Donnie say something, but she hadn’t really heard what he’d said. She felt him stand up and she let out a silent disappointed sigh, because he was just like everyone else. She hated Collin for being right, he was always right, the voice in the back of her head making her insecure, making her second guess everything she did. He’d told her once, that he was the only one who would ever put up with her shit, the only one who wouldn’t walk out on her. She took a drag off her joint before flicking it away.

She was unaware of how close he’d gotten until he pulled her to the edge of the bed ripping her from her thoughts. Before she had the chance to realize what he was doing, he lend in placing a hand on the back of her neck and kissing her hard. She was shocked, but at the same time her head was reeling and her whole body was tingling and hot, like it used to be. At first his kiss had been rough and meaningless, but almost as suddenly as she’d realized how incredible it was, so had he.

He slipped his tongue past her lips kissing her deeply and she couldn’t help but kiss back, leaning into the kiss even and moaning deeply against his lips. He’d completely taken her breath away with the kiss and her heart was beating so fast and so loud that she was scared he’d hear it. Every ounce of her wanted to pull him back to bed with her, but it was wrong. He was her best friends brother, her best friend and she knew she shouldn’t feel that way kissing him it wasn’t right. As soon as she realized that the kiss turned from pleasurable to dangerous and she shoved him away standing up quickly, struggling to get her breathing under control. She shook her head like she wasn’t entirely sure what to say and now she wasn’t sure whether or not to trust him it was all so fucked up.

She had a mass of confusing thoughts. Reed was her boyfriend but she didn’t love him and Collin was her addiction but she couldn’t be with him and Donnie was her best friend, but that kissed proved that there was something between them. She couldn’t handle it not right now. Without a word she slipped out of the room quickly and down the stairs. She felt someone grab her wrist and spin her around, but she shoved them off quickly only to realize it was Lauren as she yelled after her.

She ran down the street, desperate to get away from him and everyone else so that she could be alone. The kiss had scared the shit out of her, because while it had been short, it had just proved that she wasn’t really in love with Collin like she thought she was and without that she wasn’t entirely sure who she was anymore. Not to mention, she just couldn’t be with Donnie, he was off limits.

She wasn’t sure how long she walked, but it was a long time and her feet were starting to her, because she hadn’t even thought to put shoes on and she knew what she looked like in her oversized shirt, barefoot in fishnets with no shoes. She sighed a she sat down on a bench next to an old man and for the first time she realized she’d ended up in the park and she pulled her knees to her chest wanting so badly to cry, but refusing to let the tears fall. She wanted desperately to call Lux and tell him she was sorry for everything and beg him to come sit with her, but he still hadn’t come home and he hadn’t bothered to call her and tell her where he was, nor did she have her phone with her. There were moments like the current one where she really missed having Reed around and she sighed trying to pushed all of the mixed thoughts from her head.

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The way he felt with her was incredible and he never wanted it to end and the idea that it might have to one day was frustrating. He could honestly feel himself falling harder and harder for her every time they were together and while he wasn’t willing to admit it, that didn’t mean it wasn’t tearing him up on the inside that to her he was nothing more than a pawn in her game, but it was better than nothing.

He smirked as she moaned, loving what he was doing to her. She broke their kiss but only to pull off his shirt. She ran her hands over his shoulders and his back making him shiver at her touch. His skin burned and tingled everywhere she touched. She flipped them swiftly so his back was facing the wall and he couldn’t help but smirk as he let her take control for the moment. Her lips moved along his jaw and down his neck and he closed his eyes, letting himself only focus on the way her lips were the perfect drug on his skin. Her lips moved along his chest making him groan deeply.

He both hated and love what she could do to him with just a touch, let alone what she was doing to him with her lip. The world could be ending just outside the door and yet he’d never even know, nor would he care. What they had was beautiful in the most tragic and twisted way possible. They were the definition of what young love should be, he’d look back on the things they did together when he was old and he wouldn’t regret a single minuet spent with her and he knew that’s exactly how it should be.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her lips back to his kissing her deeply, while his other hand unbuttoned her pants before backing her up to the coach and pushing her down as he slid his pants off, followed by pulling hers off and lend in close kissing her and slipping his tongue past her lips. Before sitting and pulling her into his lap. His hand fingertips slid up her back unclipping her bra and tossing it away before flipping her smoothly and quickly onto her back. he kissed down her neck and moved his lips across her chest before working the rest of the way down her body, making his lips linger for a second to long everywhere he kissed to drive her crazy finally he slid of her panties and kissed the inside of her thigh no longer able to wait.

They fucked for a long time and it was better than any other time they’d been together, because they weren’t worried about making it quick or making sure they would get caught. Sure they might get caught but it was unlikely seeing as when they all came out to The Woods it was as a group and they were all together. They didn’t do it as much anymore because things weren’t as simple. Not only had they not had to worry about getting caught they were both sober and he knew the moment he rolled off her he was in love with her and that was dangerous. He knew he could never admit it, because the second he did she’d run.

He’d pulled her to his chest when they’d finished, outside it had started to rain. They had no blankets and the windows on the old shed were broken out, so he held her tight to keep her warm, eventually he’d turned them so they were both lying on their sides, so his body was blocking any breeze. His eyes traced every inch of her face and he knew she probably didn’t even realize how beautiful she was and it wasn’t just her face, it was all of her. Every broken and shattered piece of her young heart was the most beautiful piece of her and it all made her whole. He wanted to lay there with her forever, naked and listening to the rain. It was silent, but it was comfortable and for the first time in a long time he wasn’t worried about all the shitty stuff that had happened to him in his life. He was focused on her.

He kissed her forehead tucking a piece of her dark hair behind her ear, before he let his fingertips trace her bare skin slowly. “You know I’m not going anywhere, don’t you?” he breathed.

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Tansy had sat in the park until it had started to rain then she’d started walking again, ignoring the fact that she looked like a drown rat and she was shivering. She found herself standing outside Collin’s house. Tracing her lips with her fingertips, wanting desperately to kiss Donnie again and feel that incredible intoxicating fire. It made sense the two of them, yet she refused to go down that road. There were too many reasons they couldn’t be together and not enough reasons for them to be together.

It was a bad idea to go to Collin she knew that, but she was feeling particularly shitty. Not only had she kissed Donnie back but she’d liked it, Lux still hadn’t come home or even tried contacting her, and to top it all off she’d cheated on him twice in the past twelve hours and she just wanted to be with someone who would fuck her and make her forget. She made her way up the steps to his door raising a balled up fist to know on the door, but before she had the chance Collin opened the door, shirtless a cigarette hanging from his lips as he looked over her with an arrogant smirk.

He didn’t bother saying anything and neither did she, he moved and she walked into the house. It was silent perusal. His father was never home and his mother had died when he was a kid. He made his way up the stairs expecting her to follow and she knew she should leave, there was an energy that had shifted, that honestly scared her, but she was sober and weak with emotions and she followed him up the stairs.

They’d fucked for hours, till she was sore and they’d gotten so high that at one point she wasn’t even entirely sure where she was. He’d done exactly what she’d needed him to do, make her forget and make her feel incredible. When they were finished she rolled off of him still high of her as his lips moved along her shoulder blades. She thought about asking him to take her somewhere, where no one could find them. However, then she’d thought about Candace and the fact that he father was being released and she might need her.

So eventually without so much as an explanation she’d got dressed in her still dripping wet clothes and headed for the door. Not before Collin grabbed her and told her she wasn’t going anywhere and she just rolled her eyes shoving him off before managing to get out of the house and heading back down the street towards her house. She was too high to hear what he was say and instead just flipped him off and continued walking.

When she finally got home, she felt sick and had to lean over and throw up in the bushes, before whipping her mouth and slipping inside. Her stomach ached and she suddenly couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten but she didn’t give a shit. She had light bruises that covered her body for her and Collin’s rough sex, her eyes were dilated and cloudy making it clear just how fucked up she was. She felt someone shaking her, realizing it was Lauren and she shoved her away harsher then she meant to.

“Kaleb!” Lauren yelled and Tansy winced because her voice sounded incredibly annoying and her head started pounding.

“Fuck Tans.” Kaleb breathed and she glanced up to him with a wicked smirk. “Were you with him?” Kaleb’s body tensed and Tansy just laughed. “Damn it.” He spat, running his hands through his hair.

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"Don't be stupid Lux." she breathed and he sighed, because he knew he should have just kept his mouth shut. He’d meant he was there for her in general, but that wasn’t how she’d taken it. "Everything ends. We'll have to eventually too." she whispered with a shrug before turning her back to him and he sighed.

He didn’t understand why things had to be so fucking complicated. They were still kids, yet they were all dealing with adult situations and somehow it just didn’t seem fair. They should be able to live and be free yet, they were having to hid secrets and make other people happy, they were walking on egg shells and it was tiring. He hated how right she was though, he’d avoid Tansy all day and he knew he should get back to her, but all he wanted to do was lay there with Candie and fall asleep with her.

He kissed along her shoulders, letting his lips linger for a long moment before finally pulling away and sitting up. He slid his pants back on followed by his boxer, the rain had let up and the sky was starting to darken. Silently he was glad they didn’t have school tomorrow, but he knew there’d be another party and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go and face Tansy or watch Candace get fucked up and fuck some other guy that wasn’t him, but he had no choice.

“You probably right.” He sighed, but his words were a little more bitter then he meant them to be. “we should get home, before people wonder where the two of us have been all day.” He shrugged. “Plus I’m sure Donnie’s worries about you, with your father’s release and everything.” He shrugged like it didn’t bother him what had just happened.

Most of the time Reed was a really good guy, until you pissed him off and then he turned into a raging asshole, with an appetite for revenge. He knew it wasn’t really Candie’s fault she was just protecting herself from the world, yet he still could help but want to spend the night touching and kissing Tansy just to make her jealous, just to make her want to fight for him, but he doubted she would and that pissed him off even more.

He waited for her to get dressed before the two of them headed back to the house. Surprisingly the house wasn’t full of drunk teenagers or blasting music yet, then again it wasn’t late enough yet and he didn’t bother waiting for Candie before he slipped around the back of the house, thinking it’d probably be a good idea if they didn’t go inside together. He sat down lighting a cigarette deciding to wait before he went inside.

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Tansy was pretty fucked up and mentally she knew she had to get out of there before she said something that would really hurt someone, but before she had the chance it was no longer just her Lauren and Kaleb. Baylee had joined them along with Donnie and Candie. She didn’t want to deal with any of them, especially not fucking Donnie. Kaleb kept trying to get her to admit that she was with Collin and it was pissing her off.

"She okay?" she heard Don ask and she just rolled her eyes, like she didn’t believe he really cared. "She didn't OD did she?" he asked placing a hand on her shoulder and spinning her to face him.

She glared at him, she was to fucking pissed off and high to censor herself. Of course she wasn’t really mad at him, she was mad at Kaleb for chasing Collin off, made that she’d given into Collin and let him have control, and more than anything mad at herself for having feelings for her best friends brother.

She shoved his hand off her shoulder grabbing a fistful of his shirt pulling his lips to hers and kissing him hard in front of everyone. She heard the back door open and she had the worst feeling in the world that it was Lux, but she didn’t pull away, because with the drugs in her system it only made the kiss that much more intense. Kaleb grabbed her roughly ripping her away from Donnie and pinning her against the wall and she smirked wickedly.

“What the fuck!?” she heard Lux yell and she could tell he was pissed and she glanced to him with a taunting smirk, because she could do anything but be a vindictive bitch and that’s all she ever was when she had a taste of Collin.

“Are you out of your fucking mind Maddie?” he brother spat and she knew he was irate, he never really called her by her middle name unless he was really pissed at her. “What was that?” he said holding her eyes and she shrugged.

“Why don’t you all ask Donnie, I’m sure he’d love to share.” She said glancing to Donnie with a dangerous look in her eyes.
She shoved Kaleb off her then, headed towards the stairs, but not before pausing in front of Lauren who’s eyes were watering like she was about to burst out in tears. Tansy took the forgotten cigarette from between her finger tips and took a long drag off of it, blowing the smoke out the corner of her lips.

“Don’t looked to shocked baby.” She smirked walking past her friend and up the stairs towards her room.

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Reed had sat outside for a while smoking, he was expecting the house to be alive with drugged up, drunken teens an minuet, but before that he heard yelling in the house and he raised a brow. It was Kaleb. He sighed running his fingers through his hair as he stood up heading inside just in time to see Donnie and his fucking girlfriend kissing. He felt his blood pressure rise and his body tense. He always got so mad seeing her with other guys, despite the fact he was cheating on her with her best friend or the fact that he didn’t actually love her. Selfishly he just wasn’t ready to give her or Candie up.

“What the fuck!?” he yelled irritated, but he didn’t get an answer and Tansy had said to ask Donnie, before spitting venom in Lauren’s direction. Finally she disappeared up the stairs all together.

He wasted no time grabbing Donnie roughly and shoving him against the wall roughly, centimeters from his face. He wanted to beat the shit out of him and he would have, no matter what his explanation was, but he could feel Candie’s eyes on him and it was her brother, he could bring himself to do it and he stepped away.

“Don’t ever fucking touch her.” He spat, before running his fingers through his hair and slipping out of the room. He debated going up stairs to get an answer from tansy, but in the end he knew it would just end in a fight and as pissed off as he was at the moment there was a good chance he’d hurt her.

He hated what Tansy and Candie did to the guys. They drove them to fighting, beating the shit out of each other all the time. In fact the two of them were the cause of most the fights. Donnie and Kaleb had gotten into it over Nena and their friendship had been wrecked, Tansy had fucked up their relationship with Collin and now maybe with Donnie, he wouldn’t be surprised if Candie wasn’t secretly fucking Collin or even Kaleb and the thought of that got to him so badly he punched the wall in the kitchen over and over until there was a hole and there was nothing left to punch, his blood covered his knuckles as he rested his forehead on the wall trying to get his temper under control, before he wasn’t taking his anger out on a wall.

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Tansy was complete fucking wreck once again, by the time she got up to her room she had a raging temper and she really pitied the person who tried to come yell at her. She was completely unpredictable and dangerous with drugs in her system and the things Collin had said to her when they’d been together only fired her up that much more. She’d made the mistake of telling Collin that Donnie had kissed her and in return Collin had told her some really nasty things about Donnie, that she couldn’t help but believe, because she had to believe everything he said. During their two years together he’d practically brainwashed her and that was why she always went back.

She cut four lines and quickly lend in and did all of them, despite how royal fucked up she already was. She ran her finger across the nightstand collecting the left over powder with her index finger and rubbing it on her top gums. Her head was on fire, she room around her was moving and she felt her whole body set on fire.

She went to her window, hearing laughter outside, when she saw kids she recognized from school walking down the street towards their house, carrying cases of beer and she smirked, knowing she’d caused so much drama it was bound to be a good party. She couldn’t think of anyone but herself and selfishly she wanted to see Collin again, in fact she wanted him to pick her up and she wanted to leave with him. She grabbed her phone and sent him a quick text asking her to come pick him up, knowing there was no way in hell Kaleb would let her go. She was fairly certain after what had happened last night and what Reed had just seen it was only a matter of time before he finally fucking gave up on her.

They didn’t love each other, Tansy wasn’t stupid. All they had in common was the fact that they really liked sex and drugs. She didn’t want to be alone and at the time he’d thought he could handle her wild, recklessness. They were honestly only together now, because they were both terrified of being alone and it was easy to fall back on each other, which is why neither of them had ended it. She knew she’d pushed him to his breaking point now, because while he may not love her they still cared about each other they were friend before they were ever boyfriend and girlfriend and so it hurt that she could fucking be faithful, the same way it would hurt her if she found out he was fucking around on her.

Tansy felt like completely cutting loose. It had been agonizingly long since she’d really been bad and she was sick of trying to be better while Collin wasn’t around. That wasn’t who she was, she was reckless and dangerous with or without her ex-boyfriend. She wasn’t that innocent party girl anymore who only knew how to give hand jobs in the bathroom at clubs, she’d never be that girl again and she didn’t want to be.

She locked her bedroom door quickly, before going over to her stereo and changing the music before flipping it on and turning it up loud enough to drown out everything else. The song started and she smirked as she kicked empty bottle out of her way making a path to her closet, she lit a cigarette as she went through her clothes, she pulled her hair into a ponytail and slipped on her long dark brown wig, that made her look completely different all together, Collin had always liked her better as a brunette. She smirked at the thought as she looked herself over in her full length mirror, it honestly didn’t even look like her and she probably hadn’t worn that damn wig that reach to her hips in a good year or so.

The brown hair made her look less like a seventeen year old, it gave her more edge, made her look a little kinky and sexy actually and she kind of liked it. She slipped a short, tight purple dress the clung to every bit of her tiny frame. The side were cut out showing off her porcelain skin. The dress pushed up her boobs showing way too much cleavage and it barely covered her ass. She slipped on knee length socks over her fishnets, before sitting on her bed and pulling on her black Creeper shoes. Finally she quickly fixed her makeup, lining her bright hazel eyes with thick black liner and finally putting on a glossy coat of black lipstick. She smirked at her reflection in the mirror because for the first time in what felt like ages she felt like herself again.

She made her way to her bedroom door unlocking it and swinging it open only to find Donnie standing in her door way and she smirked up at him like she hadn’t just kissed him in front of everyone. She had a taunting look in her eyes like she was daring him to do something to her, in all reality, she wanted him to shove her up against the wall and fuck the crazy out of her, of course she doubted her could, Collin wasn’t even that good.

“Can I help you?” she breathed, not bothering to let him answer as she pushed past him, turning back to him blowing him a kiss, like she didn’t plan on coming back.

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Reed was only worked up about the situation because Donnie had won once a fucking again and he was never going to get a break. He felt like he was always fucking competing with Donnie. Not that he’d ever admit that. First it was with Lauren, he’d asked Laruen to the prom last year because he’d honestly kind of liked her, she’d gone with him only when he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend, she’d told him she liked Donnie. Then when he started seeing Candie, he knew he’d never know as much about her as Donnie did even if he wanted to, because she wouldn’t let him in like that. Now he was probably fucking his girlfriend and that was his breaking point.

He heard the shattering of glass behind him, before he heard the front door opening and a bunch of chatter from the teens that had started to file in from outside and he was suddenly aware that he didn’t want to fucking be at a part where he had to pretend everything was okay.

"Fuck Reed, I don't think I've ever seen you so upset." he heard Candie’s bitter harsh tone come from behind him and his whole body tensed. They’d been on the verge of a fight since back in the woods, they’d been distant on the walk home and now after what had just happened they were going to get into it, because he was way to pissed to let her harsh words go. "Think they're fucking?" she taunted lighting a cigarette as she lend against the wall next to him.

He wanted to let it go, for her sake. He really tired, but he was too strung out and he wasn’t even high. He knew that there would be no one there to stop him if he got too rough with her, because now the house was decently full and Kaleb and the rest of their friends would be too busy getting fucked up. It didn’t take long for the house to fill up completely after the first few kids.

He turned to her then grabbing her roughly a hand on each of her upper arms as he slammed her up against the wall roughly. He was holding her so tightly he knew it’d leave bruises, he glared at her, his eyes were dark. It was silent for a long moment like he was really trying to stop himself because he knew once he got started she’d probably never talk to him again, but eventually he gave into his rage and went off on her.

“I really hope so.” He spat, centimeters from her face. “Because then you fucking brother will be too preoccupied violating my girlfriend to worry about your psychotic ass.” He spat harshly holding her there so roughly, that if she tried to move she’d end up breaking her arm. “Then the only person you’ll be able to talk to is me and I might actually know more about you then your favorite sex position.” He hissed. “Your just like her you.” He spat referring to Tansy “It’s a no brainer why you two are best friends, because all you know how to do is destroy everything you touch.” He shrugged finally releasing her go. His fist collided with the wall right next to her face, causing his other fist to start bleeding.

“I fucking love you Candace.” He admitted shaking his head like there was absolutely no pointing in admitting it, because he was convinced she didn’t give a shit and even if she did she wouldn't believe him, because she wouldn't let herself believe him. “But that doesn’t matter because, even if I were to ruin my friendship with Kaleb and hurt Tansy, you would care.” He said holding her eyes.

“Because everything is just a game to you.” He spat harshly before taking her cigarette from between her lips. “Fuck off.” His accent particularly thick when he was pissed, finally her turned and heading for the door.

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It was clear where she was headed because she really only got that dressed up to go out with Collin and that was the only thing she had on her mind. Collin’s head games, getting fucked up, then waking up not knowing where she was or who the hell she’d been with. Only before she made it down the stairs she felt Donnie’s electric touch on her wrist.

He pulled her close before slapping her across the face and she had to admit it caught her off guard, but she wasn’t at all surprised. He’d slapped her so hard in fact that her head had whipped to the side, she turned back to look at him with a smirk on her lips, only he pressed his lips to her. She could taste the frustration in his kiss and it made her heart race, she loved pissing people off just to get a rise and the fact that she’d pissed him off so bad she could taste it only made her want to push him more. She knew then she’d be the death of him if they continued what they were doing.

He held her in the kiss so tightly that she couldn’t pull away, not that she really could if she wanted to, the drugs made pulling away impossible. He back her up into the wall causing her to moan, into the kiss. His hand came up rubbing the inside of her thigh roughly, causing her to let out quick, desperate breathy moans like they were already fucking, but she couldn’t help it his touch was driving her crazy and she wanted more.

He pulled away then taking a step back and she bit her lip as his eyes raked over her, still reeling from his touch. "You can't just use and taunt people Tansy." he turned away from her then and headed down stairs and her jaw literally dropped.

She was fairly certain, no guy had ever walked away from her once they started kissing, let alone touching the way he was touching her and that pissed her the fuck off that for once she’d been played. She let out a frustrated yell before she ran down the stairs taking them two at a time, she paused at the bottom of the staircase before spotting him. If he wanted to play games, he challenged the wrong girls and she was about to make him wish he’d never played her like he had.

She grabbed him roughly spinning him around to face her before shoving him with all her strength against the wall, pinning him there with her body. She pressed her lips against his hard and she could feel eyes on them and she didn’t give a sit who saw them at this point she was so high off adrenaline and his touch, that loosing Reed or getting slapped by Candie didn’t even cross her mind. Not to mention with her long brown hair, it would take people a good few minutes to even realize it was her, if they noticed at all.

She ran her finger tips along his chest, before slipping her hand past his jeans and then his boxer, it didn’t matter that they were surrendered by people they knew from school or that Kaleb or even Candace could be watching. She pulled away biting his bottom lip as she did. She was pretty positive he was in shock simply because none of her friends had seen how completely bad she actually was. She pressed her lips to his neck, before pulling away all together, though leaving her hand down his pants as she held his eyes.

“You’re playing games with the wrong girl.” She threatened in a dangerous tone, finally she pulled her hand out of his pants and grabbed the nearest girl, shoving her against the wall and kissing her roughly and she didn’t hesitate to kiss back, because she was so wasted. Tansy rested her hand on the girl boob, while her other had grabbed the girls ass, before she pulled away, stepping back in front of Donnie. “I can do whatever the hell I want Tae, I’m the mother fucking queen.” She spat before she heard someone clear their throat.

She felt an arm around her waist and she honestly had forgotten until that moment that Collin was coming. He pressed his lips to her cheek, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from Donnie, she was waiting for him to call her bluff to finish what he’d started earlier and she almost wished Collin hadn’t showed up. Collin led her towards the door.

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Reed was ready to accept that he’d finally lost everything yet again. He was convinced that he would just ditch town, drop out of school and never have to see Tansy’s lying ass again or face Candie’s cruel games. He didn’t have to lose to Donnie and he didn’t have to deal with his shitty parents again. Hell it was actually the perfect plan. He’d made it to the front door before Candie grabbed him and pulled him back through the house. He wasn’t entirely sure why he didn’t just pull away and continue out of the house, but when she pushed him in the bathroom door and locked it, then cut lines of coke, he was intrigued and raised a brow as he lit himself a cigarette. Finally she turned back to face him and he just watched her.

He was able to tell how strung out she was, whatever she was about to tell him had her stressed that much was painfully obvious to him and he suddenly felt shitty for having pushed her to telling him, for his own selfish reasoning, but he just watched her and kept his mouth shut.

"You want to know why I'm so fucked up?!" she screamed and he winced, because he could her the painful strain in her normally cool confident voice. "Trust me babe, you don't want to know, but I guess since you asked so fucking nicely, I'll clue you in." she breathed and he tone suddenly darkened and he knew what she was about to say he wasn’t going to like.


"For eight years, my daddy fucked me. So excuse the shit out of me if I'm a little too psychotic for you Reed." she admitted and he winced closing his eyes and sighing as she bathroom door slammed.

He wasn’t exactly sure what to say to her. He couldn’t tell her everything would be okay or that he was there for her because he was pretty sure she’d heard that her whole life she didn’t need another person in her life giving her a pity party. She need someone to fucking love her and so far he’d done a really bang up job of that forcing her by threating to leave to open up about something she was fucked up over. He sighed running his fingers through his hair as he sat down on the edge of the bath tub. He debated on going after her, she probably didn’t want to see him, then again the thought of her getting high and fucking some ass hole because he’d brought up painful memories didn’t exactly sit well with him.

He owed it to her to go after her and keep her from doing something stupid. He finished his cigarette before flicking it away and slipping out of the bathroom. He paused when he saw someone kissing Donnie in the hallway, before he realized it was Tansy and he just rolled his eyes, because he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to stop her from destroying herself, not tonight.

He searched for her for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only fifteen minutes until he found her talking to some guy he vaguely recognized from the football team and he rolled his eyes walking over to her and pulling her away from the guy not bothering to offer him an explanation, he kissed her hard before she had the chance to get away or say anything. He wrapped an arm around her waist closing the space between them.

“I’m sorry babe.” He breathed against her lips. “But I can’t love you if you don’t let me in.” he said holding her eyes. “I don’t want to fix you Candace, I just want to know you.” He said honestly pressing his lips to hers and kissing her again. “If you don’t want to talk to me tonight, that’s fine, I deserve that.” He said releasing her and taking a step back. “Just don’t run from me, your still the fearless Candace Carmello everyone hates to love.” He smirked. “Just because he have some fucked up skeletons in your closet doesn’t mean you’re not the same girl to me.” He shrugged lighting a cigarette. “I don’t know how else to make you see that.” He sighed.

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She knew she wouldn’t get far and that was the idea, she wanted to start drama, because when things like her kiss with Donnie earlier confessed her and was out of her control. She liked to cause problems that she could control. She knew Collin would explode the moment Donnie laid a hand on her, the same way she knew Donnie would try to stop her and it would be a domino effect after that.

Donnie grabbed her wrist, grip tight and she smirked as he pulled her away from Collin. For the first time that night she’d actually looked at him and noticed his split lip and the bruises and she knit her eyebrows and her features softened, she worried about him. There was a lot about Donnie that she didn’t know, but she just choice to ignore and pretend she knew. That wasn’t the first time she’d seen him without bruises one minuet and then the next minuet covered in them and it made her wonder. Just as quickly as worry had crossed her face though it was gone when he opened his mouth and she remembered why she was pissed off at him.

"Where the fuck to you think you're going T?" he raised a brow and he body tensed at the way he laughed at her, like she was little girl trying to steal cookies from the cookie jar and it pissed her the fuck off. "You're not going anywhere with him, and he's going to get the fuck out of here right now." He spat straight at Collin clearly challenging him and people around them stopped what they were doing waiting in suspense.

Tansy was suddenly scared for Donnie’s life. She’d seen Collin almost kill men who looked at her the wrong way let alone refused to let her go with him. When they described Collin Bryce as a psycho path they weren’t using the word lightly, hell brother was in prison for murder and his father was always gone doing God knows what. In all honesty, she was surprised Donnie was taunting him because Don was usually the one defusing the bomb, not standing in the middle of the fucking room waiting for it to explode.

She winced when Collin grabbed her wrist roughly and pulled her behind him. Stepping in front of her and standing dangerously close to Donnie, his whole body tensed, the dark smirk on Collin’s face made her shiver. Everything seem to go silent and she was suddenly hyper alert of how loudly her heart was beating. She flicked her eyes to Donnie practically begging him to back down. It felt like an agonizingly long moment, before Collin grabbed a hold of Donnie roughly slamming him into the side of the house, so hard that she winced, like she’d felt his pain.

“Lay a hand on me, I’ll beat the shit out of you.” He breathed darkly. “Touch her again, I’ll fucking murder you Dontea.” He smirked pulling something from behind him and the way the light caught it made it dangerously clear that he had just pulled a gun on Donnie and her heart nearly stopped. He flashed it in front of Donnie’s face making a clear threat and she unfroze instantly.

She grabbed Collin’s arm then and spun him around, kissing him roughly and he wrapped the hand with the gun around her waist and she tensed when she felt the cold metal against her skin. She’d never meant for it to go that far and she realized just how stupid she was for getting involved with him again and how much worse he’d gotten since they’d broken up. She heard one slow loud clap, causing her to pull away and glance down the steps of the porch where her brother stood looking more pissed then she’d ever seen him.

“Congratu-fucking-lations Tansy.” He spat harshly making her wince and Collin just pulled her close. “Just let her go Donnie, if she’s stupid enough to play her games and try and get you killed then she’d definitely stupid enough to take off and get herself killed.” He hissed and his words hurt.

Her and her brother didn’t always see eye to eye, but he’d always been her big brother her best friend and she’d pushed him so far that he’d given up on trying to save her, the same way her parents and even Reed had and it really fucking hurt. Collin whispered something in her ear that she didn’t really hear, but he started leading her down the steps and past her brother and she’d never seen him so disappointed and disgusted. She glanced back at Donnie hoping he’d stop her, because now all she wanted was someone to stop her, but everyone was so feed up with her bull shit and her sick obsession with Collin, they’d had it.

The week had been a dangerous adrenaline filled, drug induced battle with her emotions. She felt dead inside all over again and when she was sober, she was thinking about the way Donnie’s lips felt on hers. She desperately wished someone would come find her, but it was impossible, she doubted anyone even knew where she was, hell she didn’t even know where she was.

She woke up, head pounding in a fifthly apartment, to the sound of a scream kid. There was some kind of dark Marylin Manson-esk music that filled the silent. She was naked and next to her there was another girl naked, the two of them laying on an air mattress. She’d definitely fucked the girl she could remember that and she could remember another guy that wasn’t Collin touching her. She went to wipe her nose wiping away dried blood, before she lifted her hand to fill the caked on blood on her head. She wasn’t even sure when she’d hit her head.

Her arms were covered in track marks, from how many times she’d shot up over the past week and she was surprised she was even still alive. She stood up grabbing what looked like Collin’s shirt slipping it on and suddenly feeling deathly ill. She stumbled through the apartment, nearly tripping over someone asleep on the floor as he shoulder hit the wall.

“Fuck.” she breathed leaning heavily against the wall, she didn’t make it to the bathroom, before she threw up and heard someone laugh, she glanced up to see Collin, leaning on the wall across from her like he found it amusing how sick she was. A little kid who looked no older than six ran past her and she knit her eyebrows.

“Last night was fucking brilliant Tans.” He smirked and she clenched her jaw as she watched him raise the beer bottle to his lips and take a swig, before she heaved again, throwing up again. “Thought I lost you baby, I thought for sure I killed you last night. You OD’d on me, you were crying about your fucking brother and Donnie, shot you up to shut you up.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “You stopped breathing, so I gave you an adrenaline shot.” He said and she felt him wrap and arm around her.

“Collin, I want to go home.” She breathed, biting her lip on the verge of tears. She held his eyes and he pouted a lit as he tucked a strand of her now dark hair behind her ear and she suddenly realized she wasn’t a blonde and she wasn’t wearing a wig, he kissed her forehead.

“Baby, I missed you.” He breathed. “I’m just trying to get us back, listen last night was too much alright. I’ll ease up, just stay with me. Okay.” He spoke softly and she nodded feeling trapped. "Turn around." he ordered with a smirk and she listened, hearing him unzip his pants and she bit her lips so hard to keep from crying that it drew blood.

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He was still feeling pretty stupid for admitting he loved her and if she rejected him which wasn’t uncommon for him and his history with girls, he could just blame it on being fucked up in the morning and they could just go back to being [i]really[i] good sex buddies. He had a growing doubt just by the way she looked that she wasn’t going to give in not that it surprised him. Just like Tansy she didn’t know what she wanted. He honestly didn’t blame her though, because he’d thought he wanted Tansy and then he’d got sick of her and she probably figured he’d to the same with her, but somehow it was just different when they were together.

"Fuck, Reed, you don't want me she breathed and he blew out a breath of smoke holding her eyes. "I'm not going to stop hurting you and frustrating you. I can't, I'm too fucked up." she took a step back and he made no attempt to step forward, he stayed where he was watching her. "You should just go find Tansy, and I'll do what I do best and fuck anyone that smiles at me." he let out a breath of smoke as she shrugged, lighting her own cigerette.


He let silent fall over them for a moment as he smoked his cigarette. The party behind him was loud but he was only focused on her. He hated that she was right, not about wanting her, but about her hurting him. He’d do the same to her, just to get back at her for hurting him. In fact now that he was thinking about it he wasn’t sure if he loved her, because he wasn’t entirely sure he actually knew what love was. His parents didn’t love each other, He didn’t love Tansy. In fact the only couple he’d ever know to be in love was Collin and Tansy and they’d just destroyed each other.

He suddenly realized how much he’d fucked up by telling her he loved her, because it only complicated things. Love destroyed a person that much was clear. Donnie, Nena, and Kaleb, Tansy and Collin, Candie and her father; they were all perfect examples of what love did to a person and he didn’t want that to happen to them. He could feel his anxieties creeping up on him, he’d been sober for too long and it was getting to him. He was a nervous wreck when he went to long without drugs, a paranoid mess with OCD. He refused to let Candie see him like that, because they’d she’d just call him a freak like everyone else who’d ever seen him. He figured it was probably best for him to leave, she’d made up her mind.

“You’re probably right.” He finally breathed taking one last cigarette, before flicking it away and he thought about telling her that he couldn’t go find Tansy because she was probably fucking her twin, but he figured there had already been enough drama for the night and maybe it would make her jealous to think that he was with Tansy and he kind of like the thought of her being jealous. He lend in then and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger before pulling away. “Have fun tonight.” He said giving her a sad smile before disappearing into the crowed.

He’d taken a full bottle of Vodka from the party and walked the empty streets by himself. He didn’t want to go home, but he wasn’t exactly wanting to sleep in alleyway, so he went home, tossing the empty vodka bottle away as it shattered and he hoped he could just sneak in. Only his door was locked and in his drunken stupor he’d broken in and unfortunately for him his father was home. Which had ended in his father beat the living shit out of him for coming home drunk and breaking the window to get in.

He’d stayed in his room then, not bothering to come out, not matter how frustrated his parents were with him. When Monday had finally rolled around, he didn’t show up to school and he was glad no one knew where he lived aside from Kaleb. He’d spent a whole week hiding inside his house, because he looked like he’d been in a deadly car accident and he was pretty sure he had a few broken bones. By Friday thought, he just looked beat up. The black bruises had faded to a lighter color, the swelling had gone down and he’d only added to his wounds, by taking the lighter to his arm over the past week, because he was pissed for letting his dad treat him like shit and for once again letting girls walk all over him.

Kaleb had texted and called him a million times, so had Lauren, and Candie and even Baylee. However there were none from Donnie or Tansy, which only pissed him off the much more. He hadn’t text anyone back, so for all they knew he could be dead. His door opened up and he glance up from painting his nails black.

“How you feeling?” his sister asked, setting down a cup of water and some pain pills on his messed up nightstand. His room was a mess, mostly because his father wasn’t letting him out of the house and he couldn’t get any fucking drugs and his anxiety was driving him crazy.

“That depends Rach…how do I look.” He spat harsher then he meant to and she just sighed before reaching out and grabbing his arm slipping it over and slapping the burn marks that had started to scab over on his arm, he pulled his arm away quickly. “What the fuck.” He glanced up to her irritated.

“Stop being a depressed little Emo boy, wasn’t that why dad paid for all the therapy?” she said holding his eyes. “Thought you were over trying to kill yourself Reed?” she sighed and he just rolled his eyes.

“It’s cute that you actually think I was going to those therapy sessions.” He smirked and she smirked back. That was the darker side of Reed that not even Kaleb knew about, he’d tried several times to kill himself. He never cut deep enough or never took enough drugs though.

That was part of the reason he always wore dark clothes and painted his nails or wore black eyeliner, because it just proved how fucked up he was on the inside. Only when he started hanging out with Kaleb, he’d gotten better, because he’d moved in with Kaleb and wasn’t living everyday with his shitty parents. Then when he’d started dating Tansy she kept him trying to keep her from killing herself to try and kill himself. After getting the shit beat out of him and everything that had happened had just pushed him back into his old destructive ways.

“Your boyfriend and some girl are in the living room, they brought the homework you missed this week.” She smirked and he rolled his eyes. “I’ve never seen mom so nice.” She laughed. “But, she said you better get your ass down stairs.” She shrugged before disappearing out the door.

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