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The Joker

"HAHAHA, why so down in the dumps bats? The fun has only just begun. HA!, You see what I did there? I shoulda been a poet!"

0 · 659 views · located in Gotham City

a character in “Legends of The Dark Knight”, as played by BAWADABOO

Description

Patient Name: Joker

Alias: The Clown Prince of Crime

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Occupancy: Criminal Mastermind

Physical Appearance:

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Age: Unknown

Physical/Mental Capabilities:
Brilliant Criminal Mind: He knows what he wants and how to get it. He doesn't care how many people he kills along the way. He does not have the intellect of Batman, but that's because Joker has only studied in the arts of crime and comedy. He hires, or takes hostage, scientists to invent his toys, where Batman does it on his own.

Physical Workup: Even though he is very wiry, Joker is hell in a fist fight. He is very strong, despite his stature, and is very quick. He is not trained in any fighting style. He tend to simply swing his arms and legs wildly where he expects it will do the most damage. Most often though he uses his toys and gags to get the better of his opponents.

Mental State: The Joker is a mystery. No one knows who he is, where he comes from, why he dresses like a clown. He is shrouded, and he likes it that way. If people knew who he was it would not be as much fun. There is no doubt that he is crazy. After several doctors and psychiatrists attempted to diagnose him, each came back with a different mental disease. No one is quite sure what is wrong with him. He has no conscience, no remorse, and no feeling for others.

Equipment: A number of strange gags and jokes fill his purple suit jacket. To name a few; A dandelion on his lapel that shoots acid, a pistol that shoots a flag that says "POW", and pies filled with explosives. He uses a knife for hands on murder, and a gun for people who just don't deserve that much of his time. He's also got a stockpile of henchmen ready to do his bidding.

Weaknesses: He does not appear to have any weaknesses. Most often when he is caught it is either on purpose, or because he is bored and wants to break out of prison. He cannot beat Batman in a fair fight. But what's fun about a fair fight?

History: Unknown

So begins...

The Joker's Story

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Character Portrait: The Joker
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"haha, Ahaha. AHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!"

The blood boiling cackle echoed throughout the building. It felt as if the walls were shaking. It was almost like something out of a nightmare. The three guards stood outside the door to the main hall shivered. It wasn't just because Gotham was a cold city, it was, but if you've ever heard that laugh, you'd understand. No laugh was ever as evil, as depraved, and as devilishly demonic as Joker's laugh.

"Dude, What is that guys problem? He's really starting to freak me out."
"Bro, you need to not worry about that and just do exactly what J tells you."
"But seriously? Does he have some kind of disease?" The other guard cut him off there.
"Look, newbie. If you don't want to get the both of us killed, you need to shut your goddamned mouth, right now."
"Ok. Ok. Sorry. He's just a little..." The door behind them opened before he could finish. There stood a 6 and a half foot tall man. He was dressed head to toe in a purple business suit. Under that was a bright green dress shirt, and it was all "tied" together with an orange bow tie. His face, covered in white makeup, was twisted into a devilish grin. He reached up with his gloved hand and brushed the green hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. He raised an eyebrow.
"A little what? My friend?" He said with a giggle. The guard stammered with his words, unable to think clearly. The clown prince of crime began to reach into his jacket, "A little freaky? A little scary? He he he." He removed his hand from his jacket, producing a large kitchen knife. "Or am I a little funny?" He twirled the knife in his hand as he stared into the guards eyes. The guard nodded quickly. "Yes sir, Yes you are very funny" the man answered.

The Joker smiled. "Oh?" He stepped towards the man holding the knife to him. "Well, if I'm so funny. then why...He he he. Aren't you SMILING!?" He grinned brightly and plunged the knife into the man's mouth. He moved it to the left and back again curving upwards as he reached the edges of the face. "AAHAHHAHAHA, THIS MUST BE REALLY FUNNY FOR YOU!! AHAHAHA." After a minute or so he finished up and withdrew the knife. The man fell to the floor in agony. Joker pulled the handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped the blood off of the knife, before returning them both to their respective pockets.

He looked over to the other guard, who had been quietly standing in the corner, not watching. Joker gave a small, flamboyant bow. "If you'd please. Pick him up and get rid of him, I'd like the floor not to be stained with this yicky, icky blood." He smiled once more and headed back through the door. It slammed behind him, leaving the guard to scoop up the other, who was now smiling quite widely. The could hear Joker laughing through the door once more.

"HAH, AHAHA, AHAHAHAHA HHAHAAHAA!!!!"

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker
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Gotham Police Department- Rooftop

The signal had shown and like usual I was there, silently waiting with narrowed eyes. Jim furrowed his brow as he handed over the file, all contents inside gruesome but nonetheless moving. "Male, mid-twenties and said to have worked for that Joker fellow..." Jim said with a slight drink of his coffee and rubbing of his mustache. "What can you read from it?"

Looking over the photographs, it is obviously one of his thugs. With an abrupt drop of the file from my hand to the desk, I look up to Gordon sternly. "Facial trauma from a knife, presumably large. He was quick with the kill as his usual actions are, but sloppy. Where was the body found?" Turning to face him with this posed question, Gordon stood still with his chin rested on his fist and eyes shallow but focused. "Cathedral Square, north of Blackgate. But wh-" my disappearance was usual at this point but the mutter of wonder still escaped Gordon when noticing my unseen departure.

Cathedral Square

The Joker hadn't done this himself, while standing at the crime scene this was obvious to the eye. The cowl tapped in to standard detective vision, all dried blood in the dumpster making the carrier of the corpse seem ridiculous. Scanning in more, the blood is highlighted from a dull blue to a bright yellow. The trail forms from the start of the alleyway down, brightened liquid stains showing the forceful drag across the street. Pathetic. Emerging from the cape with my Bat-Claw in hand, the tool snaps me upward and over onto the rooftops with a simple jerk. With both a sharp crunch and nicely accomplished landing, my boots move below as my path continues for the route to my killer's area. The Joker.

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Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Harvey Dent sat in the warehouse that caused this monstrosity. He remembered it, the gasoline, the C4, the pain. He reached up and softly touched the left side of his face, flinching slightly. Harvey would often look in the mirror to see what others saw. A monster, a madman, a criminal. "You either die the hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain," he muttered under his breath. He sat there for a while, thinking. Until one of his men came up behind him.

"Uhh, sir. We've got information that Batman was seen in Cathedral Square," the gun-for-hire said. Harvey turned to look at him, with his good side. "Any idea what he's doing there? Batman doesn't just come out of his shell to show his face." Harvey saw that his lackey was relieved to be looking at Harvey Dent, not Two-Face. "He seemed to be looking for someone, one of the scouts said it may be the Joker, he's all over the news." Harvey turned away from his associate, "Seems likely. On your way out, tell Rick that this one's 'unscarred', he'll give you your payment." The man nodded before turning to leave.

Harvey Dent smiled. "Well, decisions, decisions. Do I join the Bat, and help find the Clown, or does the Joker have a good scheme he could use my help on? Hmm, well, I guess we'll flip for it." Harvey pulled out his father's coin. A double-headed coin that Harvey had scarred on one side to represent his darker choices. He looked at it, holding it so the clean side was facing him. "Join the Bat," he said before he flipped it over. "Or help the Joker," he said, looking at the scarred side of the coin.

He flipped the coin into the air, caught it, and placed it on the back of his other hand. "Well, well. Sorry Batman, but the Joker just got a new clown," he said as he stood up. He turned to leave and instructed his men to use any resources to find the Joker. "When you find him, tell him I have a proposition for him," Two-Face said as he left.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker
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Occupied Warehouse- Joker's Property

I stand overhead the few thugs talking quietly about their boss, analyzing the property. Silently finalizing my scouting, a more tactical approach was being put into place. 5 of his men outside, three armed and two unarmed. I could go for the eastern guard watching overhead, he seems well equipped with thermal vision and more... therefore taking out their personal siren.

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My boots move from the gargoyle to the rooftops below; the sound even more hidden due to the immense amount of snow tonight. The first target is uneasy, his handle on the thermal childish and pathetic. From a steady amount of walking I rip away from the few feet of snow providing cover and grab the man from behind. His hands continued to bat at my forearm which was locked in place, but this stopped after slamming his body into the snow with a crunch. Unheard and silent as it should be. The other two guards stood as they already had been, complaints of the weather ruining their drunkenness ringing throughout the lot as my cape carried me to the snow-ridden asphalt below.

Slipping a batarang from my belt, I watch as it whips into full position for flight. The blade smashes through the barrel of one rifle while the other man prepares his to shoot. Two more batarangs are thrown to each kneecap, impaling his legs with a howl of pain coming for a result. In the process of throwing the rifle to the ground my leg catches one of them in the face with a tremendous snap against my heel. This blow sent him tumbling through the now blood-sprinkled snow in agony while the impaled thug reached for me with his blade drawn.

The remaining two men of Joker's raced for me with clubs and other pointless weaponry, chanting of my death and more. My hand fixed around a smoke pellet, slamming it downward for no visible contact. The shadows of the wall behind provide enough camouflage but are too close, making me have to take them out as a group.

My foot slams each batarang deeper through the knees to finish my previous enemy off as both hands balled into fists. A barrage of blows was sent into the club-holder until he slumped like gelatin, then found their way to the last 'guard.' To finish him off my cape swept across his face to cause confusion as he tried to regain full view. However, I leg-swept him to the snow before he could and reassured he was silent before moving for the building to once again regain silence. Time for the true enemy inside that warehouse.

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Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Two men burst through the doors of the grand hall, apparently quite determined to make as loud of a ruckus as possible. They both slid to a stop just a few feet before the throne. Joker liked his throne. It was large, and comfy, and just tweaked enough to tickle his fancy. The purple frame, the green cushions, and the orange hand rests. It was just so.... him.

The clown looked upon his men with a grin. They were currently trying to catch their breath. "Please, my brilliant, logical, and athletic henchmen." He stood abruptly. "Why the hell would you run so hurriedly if you were just going to sit there sputtering like fish out of water!" His smile grew wider. The men were still gasping but one looked up and opened his mouth to speak. "It's..."

'Splat!'

The man was smacked in the face by a Boston creme pie. Joker stood with his mouth agape, jittering with anticipation. The other man was confused. It was just a pie. Why wasn't the other guy talking. His answer came quickly. The man began to scream and claw at the pie, still on his face. He couldn't pull it off. The other man tried to help. He pulled against the pie with all of his might, but it just was not coming off.

"HeHEHEHE!!" The Joker danced on his throne. "HA!! It worked WONDERFULLY."

The guard who had not gotten pied looked up, completely confused.

"If you would like him to stay alive I would suggest you not pull on that." He grinned. "That was my favorite Boston Crazy-Glue Pie. It won't come off without the skin it's attached to." He giggled with glee. "Ohh I love being me!" The guard was still clawing at his face. "If you have something to tell me you might as well spit it out" He said to the other. "If you stay much longer I'd have to offer you pie as well. Wouldn't want to be rude would I?" He tilted his head wickedly with his last comment.

"Uh.. Uh, yeah J. You've got a visitor. Some guy wants to see you, he says Harvey sent him."

Joker began to clap happily. He bounced up and down. "Oh boy oh boy. Mr. Dent would like an audience with me?! Well I would be happy to oblige." He stopped. "But only Harvey. If I see anyone come in here with an entire face..." He looked back to the man suffocating on the ground. "I'll just leave it at that. AhAHAHHAHAAHA!!! HEEEHEHHEHEHE!!" He skipped happily back to his lovely throne.

Indeed, It was great to be Joker.

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Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Harvey's Warehouse

Harvey's man returned sooner than he had expected. "Mr.Dent, we've found the Joker," the man said quickly. "Good, good. Excellent work," Harvey said as he kept preparing his gear. "Sir, he says he wishes to see you, and only you. He also mentioned something about pie..." the man continued. Harvey laughed and said, "Okay, I understand. In that case, you and the others will stay in the van. I should go in alone. Do get Rick and Johnny ready to go, oh, I'll need you along as well." The lackey nodded and left the room.

Harvey continued to prepare his things. He grabbed his favorite two revolvers, one black, the other white, and put them in their holsters under his suit jacket. He then double-checked to be sure he had his coin in case he would need it. "Sir, everyone's ready," his scout said, peeking his head in the door. "Good," Harvey said turning around, "Let's go."

The Jokers Hideout

Harvey got out of the van and walked through the front door without incident, or delay for that matter. Well, it seems they were expecting me. He walked through the main doors into the grand hall, where Joker himself was seated on a large throne. As Harvey walked up to the throne he saw the aftermath of...a pie to the face. Best not to pay it any mind, Harvey. "Joker, it has been a while hasn't it. You look happy as always, how have things been for you?"

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Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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There was some ruckus going on outside. Joker found himself wondering whether or not it was something to worry about. HAH. Even if it was something to worry about, no one was getting into Joker hall without his say so, and even if they did. Nothing was going to put a stop to what Joker was planning.

The door to Jokers Hall opened with a huff. In walked the man of the hour. Or perhaps, the men of the hour? Not important. Harvey Dent had arrived and Joker was giddy. He leaped from his chair to greet the man.

"You look happy as always, How have things been for you?"

Joker grinned and politely bowed to his guest. "Oh Harvey, I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am to see you. I do so love our interactions. Things have been quite well for me as you can see" He gestured to the pied corpse on the ground. Poor man suffocated about an hour ago. "Good help is just soooo hard to find." He leaned into Two Face's personal space.

"Soooooo my good man." He grinned. "Let's cut to the chase." He began to walk back and forth. "I assume you want in on my little scheme I've got in the works." He bounced from leg to leg. It was really difficult for him to stop moving, as if he even wanted to. "Am I right my Half 'n Half friend?"

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Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Harvey smiled at the Jokers endless movement. He's like a child in a candy store...all the time. How does he do it? "Well if we're getting straight to business," he began, ignoring the half 'n half comment. "One of my scouts reported Batman in Cathedral Square, most likely looking for you. Carving an ear-to-ear grin in someone's face gets you on the news, after all," Harvey said jokingly.

So, Joker had been planning something after all. Well, if there is one thing he's good at, it's keeping Gotham entertaining. Harvey looked at the man with the pie in his face, gestured and said, "So, what's in it this time? Acid, noxious chemicals...On second thought, I don't want to know." Harvey looked up at the big throne, purple frame, green cushions, it was definitely the Jokers. No other human being could possibly crave a piece of furniture such as that. But Joker paid well, and did keep Harvey entertained at that. So he had learned to play along with the Clown Price of Crime's game. Speaking of which...

"What sort of scheme are we talking about?" a smile spreading across both sides of his face.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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This news was most welcome. Joker knew his stupid henchmen would not be able to adequately dispose of a body. He in fact counted on it. He wanted a bit of notoriety that he was scheming, but did not expect that Bats himself would make an appearance. This was all going according to plan.

Joker paced back and forth with his hands behind his back. "Well you know how it is Harvey, some people just don't share the same sense of humor we do. Haha. And people like that are better suited for... other purposes." He smiled widely and stopped pacing. Two-Face inquired about the recently deceased. Joker was ecstatic. He bounced with his hands clasped. "Oh yes, this is my new favorite."

He approached the body and grabbed the pie pan. With one quick movement he ripped the pie away from the mans head, tearing his face off with it. The exposed muscles and bones were exactly what Joker had in mind when he came up with the recipe. He showed the pie to Two-Face. "Funny thing about crazy glue. It doesn't come unstuck very easily." He cackled and dropped the pie. "AHAHAHA. Oh I do love it Harvey." He danced backward a bit.

"But I digress" He turned to face the man once more. "My 'scheme' is one for the ages, I do hope you enjoy it as much as I will. Unfortunately for now, It is a secret." He brought his finger to his lips. "shhhhh" He then moved his fingers to point upward over his head, resembling Batmans cowl. "oh, but rest assured" he said with a giggle. "This will be quite a hoot."

He strolled to Harvey's good side and whispered into his ear. "Listen here my boy, If I were to get captured you have control over my lackeys. Dress them in your cute half 'n half clothing. And cause as much destruction and mayhem as you wish. Just get them home by eleven. The real plan shall be revealed at a later date. Just steal and murder and flip your little coin until you are silly." He laughed loudly into his ear and slunk away, heading for his throne.

"I look forward to a fruitful partnership. AHAHAHAA"

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Occupied Warehouse- Joker's Property

As I remained suspended from the warehouse ceiling, my hand slipped away an EMP for usage of strategy. This has something to do with me, and doesn't sound to be easily spoken about. Too many guards below means I'll have to go with an alternative method; and this EMP will do what is needed. Beginning the approach, I activate the EMP and send it flying down below as well as myself to go unnoticed. My cape wrapped around the Joker so his laughter and actions would be muffled for stealth, but is not necessary after strings of gunfire ring throughout the warehouse. Threats and shouts of anger exchange with this, everybody including Harvey himself dazed by the event. All of these things become unimportant when we both reach the rooftops above and the Joker is sent tumbling across the snow-dense steel of the warehouse.

Scooping him from the ankle, I haul him over the edge of the warehouse and begin questioning without interruption of his laughter.

"You said you wanted me. What for?" I questioned with bared teeth, loosening my grip with an eased tension.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Harvey was suddenly blinded and deafened. His hearing returned first, and he heard the sounds of gunfire, Jokers men probably, and...a cape? He heard it whoosh in front of him before he could see. His vision finally returned, and the first thing he saw was the absence of the Joker. Where could he have gone? Joker was quick, yes, but he didn't just disappear. But the Batman does, Harvey thought with a wave of anger. Joker's men approached Harvey, guns raised. "What have you done with the Joker?" one of them asked, holding his gun towards Harvey. "Has he not told you what he told me?" Harvey said, watching as the Jokers clowns surrounded him. The big one who spoke before said, "Yes, that if he were captured, we answered to you. But then he disappears, which makes you suspicious."

Harvey smiled, and said, "You misunderstand. He included the possibility of his capture because he knew it was going to happen. His face plastered all over the news, Batman showing up again, it's no coincidence. Joker knew that the Batman was gonna show up, and arrest him." He could see the realization creep across the man's face. "I-I'm sorry, sir. I hadn't thought of that," the man said, lowering his gun. The other clowns lowered their guns, too.

"Alright, just so we're clear. You all work for me until the Joker returns. First things first," Harvey said before he pulled his coin out of his pocket. "Uhh...what are we deciding on?" one of the clowns said, obviously having heard of some of Two-Face's decisions. Harvey smiled an evil smile. He holds the coin in his palm, clean side up. "You all get a costume change, then we rob a bank," Harvey said. He then flipped the coin in his hand so it sat with the scarred face up. "Or we rob a bank, and you all wear whatever you please," Harvey said with a smile. He flipped the coin, caught it, and put it on the back of his other hand.

"Get everyone in your cars, and follow me. Let's get you out of those ridiculous clown outfits," Harvey instructed the big one he had spoken to earlier. He turned, and left the warehouse, listening as the men ran back and forth, readying everything. He walked back to his van and told Rick, "Take us back to the hideout. But wait a moment, we'll have some company." As he finished, he saw a small army of cars pull out of the warehouse, and drive his way. He waved to show which van was his, then he stepped inside. "Let's go."

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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A bright flash, a deafening sound. That was all Joker could register before he was accosted and swept from his Grand Hall. It must be Batsy. He must have wrapped him up in his cape. That was to be expected. Joker's relentless cackle couldn't be heard through the magical fabric that this cape was made of. Nevertheless, he still laughed happily.

They made it to the roof and Bats released Joker, sending him sprawling over the roof top. When he finally stopped sliding he was lifted into the air by his ankle and dangled over the edge. He never was quite sure why Batman did this. It's not as if Joker thought Batman would actually drop him...

"You said you wanted me. What For?"

Joker chuckled. "OOOOh, Batsy's getting a little cranky." Joker tried to squirm out of Batman's grip, but that wasn't happening. "C'mon Bats. Do I really need a reason to want to see my bestest friend in the whole wide world???" Joker giggled and then went limp. There was no use getting all tuckered out trying to resist Batman. He let his arms dangle beneath him and looked down upon the snow covered concrete below.

"So... How've yooou beeen?"

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker
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Upper Warehouse- Joker's Property

Gritting my teeth, he slips further from my hand with another laugh. "What were you planning with Harvey?" I say with a growl as his smile fades. I'm running short of time, soon his men are going to investigate. Good thing our location is not the most obvious.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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"what were you planning with Harvey?"

Joker giggled. "Oh Bats. I thought we were past this point in our relationship. You should know by now that I only divulge information that is of the utmost importance." He giggled some more. He looked down, it was a long way. Should be an interesting fall, though he knew for a fact that Batman would never drop him. He would never kill him. Batman needed Joker, just like the Joker needed Batman.

"All you need to know Batsy boy, is that something really, really, FUN is in the works. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy it. AHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHA" He smiled brightly and looked at his watchless wrist. "I think it's about time you go find Mr. Dent. He's probably got a Hell of a heist in the works." Joker giggled some more.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Ignore this.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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Upper Warehouse- Joker's Property

I grunt, slipping him from my hands as his laugh echoes from below. It is cut off when the realization of dangling happens, as he was in fact suspended from the ground just inches away. The screech of a van from the northern warehouse entrance signals Harvey's departure. This heist needs to be cut off quickly. Going after the vehicle on foot would be failure, so a way of blocking passage is necessary.

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Character Portrait: Batman Character Portrait: The Joker Character Portrait: Two-Face
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The grip loosened and Joker could feel himself falling. He began laughing hysterically. No way the Bat would let him die though. His thoughts were quickly confirmed when he felt an angry tug at his ankle from the rope he was dangling with. "Pansy Bat will never kill me" Joker grumbled behind chuckles while he reached into his coat for a knife to cut himself down. He retrieved one and sliced the cable. It cut like butter, Joker kept his knives very sharp.

Joker fell the extra few feet and landed on his head with his feet hanging lamely above his head. That hurt a bit. "Hehehe." Joker chuckled as he rolled over and rose to his feet. He returned the knife to his coat pocket and began to walk down the alley. "Hehe, I wonder what Dent is up to." He mused.

He figured if he wandered around a bit near the biggest banks in town He'd see Harvey making a move eventually. He didn't give a communicator to Harvey during their meeting, so He would just have to wander about, probably kill a few people along the way if he felt like it.