Beautiful Disaster||Brave||Breathe Me||Almost Is Never Enough
"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical."
~Sophia Loren
☩Nicknames☩
Dany, Elle, Ellie, Ella, or even Penny
☩Age☩
22
☩Gender☩
Female
☩Sexuality☩
Heterosexual
Not that it matters. Who would want me?
☩Ethnicity☩
35% English, 30% French-Canadian, 27% Dutch, & 8% German
☩Occupation☩
College Senior
Freelance Photographer
Dany, Elle, Ellie, Ella, or even Penny
☩Age☩
22
☩Gender☩
Female
☩Sexuality☩
Heterosexual
Not that it matters. Who would want me?
☩Ethnicity☩
35% English, 30% French-Canadian, 27% Dutch, & 8% German
☩Occupation☩
College Senior
Freelance Photographer
☩Height☩
5'6
☩Build☩
Slim
Finally
☩Skin Tone☩
Creamy Light Complexion
☩Hair Color☩
Rich Milk Chocolate
☩Eye Color☩
Naturally blue with swirls of green close to her pupils
☩Scars? Tattoos? Piercings?☩
~She has the standard ear piercing.
~She has scars from when she used to slit her wrists. They're faded now, white little lines on her skin that she hides with long sleeves or bracelets. There are also a few faded scars on her sides from when she was much thicker and cut herself.
~She has freckles on the top of her back, near the right shoulder. Her best friend pointed out, when she caught her off guard one day by getting dressed in front of someone, that if someone were to connect the dots, it would look like the constellation Lacerta.
☩Clothing Description☩
Despite losing the weight and getting herself on track, Danielle has never actually shopped for a lot of clothes that would enhance her new figure. She has a few tasteful clothing for her shape and none of her clothes are overly dull, but she doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good. She hides behind her oversized sweaters and flannel shirts and is typically seen in jeans. Not many have seen her in a skirt. Heels are hardly an option and she doesn't want to wear makeup. She usually wears bracelets and maybe a necklace. Of course, her mother's drilled into her head that she needs to have earrings, but other than that, Dany doesn't believe she's beautiful, so why put in the effort for something that's not real?
5'6
☩Build☩
Slim
Finally
☩Skin Tone☩
Creamy Light Complexion
☩Hair Color☩
Rich Milk Chocolate
☩Eye Color☩
Naturally blue with swirls of green close to her pupils
☩Scars? Tattoos? Piercings?☩
~She has the standard ear piercing.
~She has scars from when she used to slit her wrists. They're faded now, white little lines on her skin that she hides with long sleeves or bracelets. There are also a few faded scars on her sides from when she was much thicker and cut herself.
~She has freckles on the top of her back, near the right shoulder. Her best friend pointed out, when she caught her off guard one day by getting dressed in front of someone, that if someone were to connect the dots, it would look like the constellation Lacerta.
☩Clothing Description☩
Despite losing the weight and getting herself on track, Danielle has never actually shopped for a lot of clothes that would enhance her new figure. She has a few tasteful clothing for her shape and none of her clothes are overly dull, but she doesn't go out of her way to make herself look good. She hides behind her oversized sweaters and flannel shirts and is typically seen in jeans. Not many have seen her in a skirt. Heels are hardly an option and she doesn't want to wear makeup. She usually wears bracelets and maybe a necklace. Of course, her mother's drilled into her head that she needs to have earrings, but other than that, Dany doesn't believe she's beautiful, so why put in the effort for something that's not real?
☩Personality☩
{Insecure, Internalizer, Compassionate, Fun-Loving, Sassy}
If anyone were to look at Addie and Dany, they would be surprised. While their appearances say one thing, their personalities say a completely different thing and if one were to judge from personality alone, they would not think that the two were sisters. Danielle isn't exactly the quietest person you would ever meet. At the same time, she is not the loudest. She does not own that overly cheery personality of her youth. Instead, she seems rather closed off in public, a cordial sort of person. She is kind to most people that she sees and tends to think before acting. Some, especially those closest to her, would say that she tends to think too much.
Most people see her and think of her as this gorgeous brunette with a pretty smile. Not many would believe that she is a woman plagued by her insecurities, which - in fact, she is. Dany was not as slim or as "beautiful" as she appears today. It took work and yet, even in this new body that she craved, she still does not see herself as many others would. She is not pretty enough. She is not always as bright as people make her out to be. She has a rather twisted mind that, instead of looking at her accomplishments and the good qualities of herself, looks at her flaws - what makes someone else better than her, what makes them a better pick than her. To make matters worse, Dany tends to keep it all inside.
When she first began cutting and purging, no one had any idea. They just thought that she was being regular old Dany and for a moment, she was. She laughed a lot to cover her pain, she smiled to hide the fact that she was stuffing as much junk food as she could down her throat, and she would play the piano just as much as she forced herself to vomit all that she just ate up. But she never hinted at anything until she was caught. It is who Dany is. She cares deeply for people - so deeply that her own problems and insecurities matter little to her. So, she tends to disregard her own pain in favor and turning her attention to someone else's, not acknowledging her own worth. While some may call this a blessing for there to be such a kind soul, those closest know how much it is a curse.
At the end of the day, however, Dany is still young and she likes to have a good time every now and then, especially with those she deems family and friends. With them, you see a completely relaxed side who will even jokingly flirt, banter, and just have fun. She's brighter in this atmosphere, happier and more at peace. But not everything good lasts forever.
☩Oddities☩
~The first thing Dany has to do before she goes to bed and when she wakes up is clean her camera. She is rather obsessed with her photography equipment and it is a calming moment for her.
~Ever since she moved off campus and into an apartment with her two best friends, Dany pretty much likes running the kitchen, especially if she's particularly stressed or worried. She actually has come up with a lot of great recipes or added something to current recipes during these times. She would catch her humming the most during this moment.
~Her hair is almost always in a ponytail.
~Dany is allergic to peanuts.
☩Habits☩
Fiddling with her bracelets| Playing with her ponytail| Humming| Biting her lower lip
☩Fears☩
~Sex/Intimacy~ To this day, Dany still doesn't see herself as pretty as other females or even for the good qualities that she does possess. She's had at least two boyfriends and neither one of them were close to getting her to have sex with them or do more than make-out. She's absolutely terrified of anyone seeing her so bare and the only ones that have are her best friend (because of a sleepover) and her family. She doesn't want them to see the imperfections.
~Being Forever Alone~ Despite her ability to push people away, Dany actually fears being alone forever. She knows that her insecurities are the main reasons why she lost her two boyfriends (aside from the fact that they both were cheaters) and she wants to change, but each time someone pushes for more, she clams up. Is she good enough? Are there any traces of fat on her? Does she need to go back to the gym? It's an obsession really and she doesn't want it to make her have to watch as the guy she cares about moves on.
~Being Fat Dany Again~ During high school and her freshman year, Dany weighed close to 250 lbs. She was teased horrendously for it, so much that she feared it would cause her little sister to be bullied as well. So, when she began to want to lose weight or be like the other girls, she began purging and starving herself. She did it so much that when it became too much for her, she was back to munching on junk food all over again. For a brief moment, during her junior year, a girl at a party reminded her of her fall from grace and Danielle was caught in her room eating a tub of ice cream. She doesn't want to go back to being that girl again, but it's a lot easier said than done.
☩Likes & Dislikes☩
▲ The Great Gatsby Film & Novel
▲ Playing the Piano
▲ Oversized Sweaters & Shirts
▲ Cookies & Cream Ice Cream
▲ Hershey's Milk Chocolate
▲ French Vanilla Coffee
▲ Cooking
▲ Photography
▲ Wintery Months
▲ The Sound of Rain
▲ Golden Oreos
▲ Red Wine
▲ Playing Video Games ▼ Mint-Chocolate Ice Cream
▼ People Hearing Her Sing
▼ Tight-Fitting Clothes
▼ Too Much Makeup
▼ High School Memories
▼ Any of Her Best Friend's Girls
▼ Sky High Heels
▼ Her Appearance
▼ Wasting Money
▼ Too Much Attention
▼ Regular Oreos
▼ Being Alone
▼ Bigotry
{Insecure, Internalizer, Compassionate, Fun-Loving, Sassy}
If anyone were to look at Addie and Dany, they would be surprised. While their appearances say one thing, their personalities say a completely different thing and if one were to judge from personality alone, they would not think that the two were sisters. Danielle isn't exactly the quietest person you would ever meet. At the same time, she is not the loudest. She does not own that overly cheery personality of her youth. Instead, she seems rather closed off in public, a cordial sort of person. She is kind to most people that she sees and tends to think before acting. Some, especially those closest to her, would say that she tends to think too much.
Most people see her and think of her as this gorgeous brunette with a pretty smile. Not many would believe that she is a woman plagued by her insecurities, which - in fact, she is. Dany was not as slim or as "beautiful" as she appears today. It took work and yet, even in this new body that she craved, she still does not see herself as many others would. She is not pretty enough. She is not always as bright as people make her out to be. She has a rather twisted mind that, instead of looking at her accomplishments and the good qualities of herself, looks at her flaws - what makes someone else better than her, what makes them a better pick than her. To make matters worse, Dany tends to keep it all inside.
When she first began cutting and purging, no one had any idea. They just thought that she was being regular old Dany and for a moment, she was. She laughed a lot to cover her pain, she smiled to hide the fact that she was stuffing as much junk food as she could down her throat, and she would play the piano just as much as she forced herself to vomit all that she just ate up. But she never hinted at anything until she was caught. It is who Dany is. She cares deeply for people - so deeply that her own problems and insecurities matter little to her. So, she tends to disregard her own pain in favor and turning her attention to someone else's, not acknowledging her own worth. While some may call this a blessing for there to be such a kind soul, those closest know how much it is a curse.
At the end of the day, however, Dany is still young and she likes to have a good time every now and then, especially with those she deems family and friends. With them, you see a completely relaxed side who will even jokingly flirt, banter, and just have fun. She's brighter in this atmosphere, happier and more at peace. But not everything good lasts forever.
☩Oddities☩
~The first thing Dany has to do before she goes to bed and when she wakes up is clean her camera. She is rather obsessed with her photography equipment and it is a calming moment for her.
~Ever since she moved off campus and into an apartment with her two best friends, Dany pretty much likes running the kitchen, especially if she's particularly stressed or worried. She actually has come up with a lot of great recipes or added something to current recipes during these times. She would catch her humming the most during this moment.
~Her hair is almost always in a ponytail.
~Dany is allergic to peanuts.
☩Habits☩
Fiddling with her bracelets| Playing with her ponytail| Humming| Biting her lower lip
☩Fears☩
~Sex/Intimacy~ To this day, Dany still doesn't see herself as pretty as other females or even for the good qualities that she does possess. She's had at least two boyfriends and neither one of them were close to getting her to have sex with them or do more than make-out. She's absolutely terrified of anyone seeing her so bare and the only ones that have are her best friend (because of a sleepover) and her family. She doesn't want them to see the imperfections.
~Being Forever Alone~ Despite her ability to push people away, Dany actually fears being alone forever. She knows that her insecurities are the main reasons why she lost her two boyfriends (aside from the fact that they both were cheaters) and she wants to change, but each time someone pushes for more, she clams up. Is she good enough? Are there any traces of fat on her? Does she need to go back to the gym? It's an obsession really and she doesn't want it to make her have to watch as the guy she cares about moves on.
~Being Fat Dany Again~ During high school and her freshman year, Dany weighed close to 250 lbs. She was teased horrendously for it, so much that she feared it would cause her little sister to be bullied as well. So, when she began to want to lose weight or be like the other girls, she began purging and starving herself. She did it so much that when it became too much for her, she was back to munching on junk food all over again. For a brief moment, during her junior year, a girl at a party reminded her of her fall from grace and Danielle was caught in her room eating a tub of ice cream. She doesn't want to go back to being that girl again, but it's a lot easier said than done.
☩Likes & Dislikes☩
▲ Playing the Piano
▲ Oversized Sweaters & Shirts
▲ Cookies & Cream Ice Cream
▲ Hershey's Milk Chocolate
▲ French Vanilla Coffee
▲ Cooking
▲ Photography
▲ Wintery Months
▲ The Sound of Rain
▲ Golden Oreos
▲ Red Wine
▲ Playing Video Games
▼ People Hearing Her Sing
▼ Tight-Fitting Clothes
▼ Too Much Makeup
▼ High School Memories
▼ Any of Her Best Friend's Girls
▼ Sky High Heels
▼ Her Appearance
▼ Wasting Money
▼ Too Much Attention
▼ Regular Oreos
▼ Being Alone
▼ Bigotry
☩History☩
When Dany and Addie were kids, their personalities and roles within the family were completely switched. Addie was the quieter one, the one others would associate with being the loner. Still, to this day, Dany detests that nickname. Dany was the more lively one. She had a plethora of friends from daycare that went to elementary school with her. They had many sleepovers and play dates. She was exceptional at playing the piano and could sing fairly well even though she didn't do it often enough in her mother's opinion. She was the golden child; a good student, a child with great manners, talented, and an affectionate big sister. But then puberty came.
Danielle developed a little faster than her friends and it terrified her. Men she would normally see hanging with her father at a local bar or at the park somewhere leered at her openly, some even making lewd comments by the time she was twelve. Danielle felt disgusted by the constant attention. Despite being the golden child, she hadn't always liked it and would have rather blended in. She even hated it when boys her age noticed that she was developing curves. She desperately wanted to make the attention go away and before she knew it, she was turning to junk food as her solace. That was when everything changed. No longer was she receiving any attention from those older men or barely-stable teenage boys. But her so-called friends were suddenly abandoning her, no longer wanting to be associated with the chubby girl. From that moment on, Addie and Danielle's roles switched.
Dany was the loner.
And for a moment, she was alright with that. She had a small, select group of individuals who weren't all that popular, but were more loyal than the ones she first deemed her friends. She continued to play the piano and picked up photography. And for a moment, she was at peace. However, nothing good lasts forever and before long, girls became the devil-incarnates, constantly sneering at Dany and making insulting comments about her weight. She knew she wasn't beautiful, not in this society of model-thin girls with longer hair and make-up, but to hear them say it so viciously hurt. But her eating continued and she started up a new hobby; cutting. For a moment, it was a release of her frustrations. She never pressed to deeply, but the cuts weren't just her wrists either. Her stomach - the main perpetrator and the reason she was getting all the unnecessary attention - was slashed as well. But this didn't make it better either.
So, she began purging.
Every time she found herself eating more snacks, she would force herself to throw it right back up. It became so badly that she woke up every day pale and her mother was worried she wasn't either getting enough rest or enough food. Of course, Dany never tried to worry anyone and didn't say anything. It wasn't until she passed out from blood loss after suffering a really bad headache that her friends and family discovered Danielle's issues. Her parents were horrified and she was too ashamed to even look her younger sister in the face. Therapy became a constant in her life, especially during her senior year. After graduation, when she was away from all of the high school drama, Dany wanted a change. She didn't want to be this person anymore.
So, she worked out. She didn't stop herself from indulging every now and then, but her meals were healthier and she decided to cook dinner more just to be sure of what she was eating. Losing her weight was hard, but she managed to bring herself down to a nice 120lbs by the end of her freshman year at college. It was during these times that she met her best male friend. To this day, she doesn't even know what about her caught his attention or why he's so sweet on him, but she knows for a fact that no matter how flirty they become or how much her heart flutters at the mention of his name, he could never want her. Who would? She's the girl with more baggage than the weight she carried almost three years ago. Again, who would want her?
When Dany and Addie were kids, their personalities and roles within the family were completely switched. Addie was the quieter one, the one others would associate with being the loner. Still, to this day, Dany detests that nickname. Dany was the more lively one. She had a plethora of friends from daycare that went to elementary school with her. They had many sleepovers and play dates. She was exceptional at playing the piano and could sing fairly well even though she didn't do it often enough in her mother's opinion. She was the golden child; a good student, a child with great manners, talented, and an affectionate big sister. But then puberty came.
Danielle developed a little faster than her friends and it terrified her. Men she would normally see hanging with her father at a local bar or at the park somewhere leered at her openly, some even making lewd comments by the time she was twelve. Danielle felt disgusted by the constant attention. Despite being the golden child, she hadn't always liked it and would have rather blended in. She even hated it when boys her age noticed that she was developing curves. She desperately wanted to make the attention go away and before she knew it, she was turning to junk food as her solace. That was when everything changed. No longer was she receiving any attention from those older men or barely-stable teenage boys. But her so-called friends were suddenly abandoning her, no longer wanting to be associated with the chubby girl. From that moment on, Addie and Danielle's roles switched.
Dany was the loner.
And for a moment, she was alright with that. She had a small, select group of individuals who weren't all that popular, but were more loyal than the ones she first deemed her friends. She continued to play the piano and picked up photography. And for a moment, she was at peace. However, nothing good lasts forever and before long, girls became the devil-incarnates, constantly sneering at Dany and making insulting comments about her weight. She knew she wasn't beautiful, not in this society of model-thin girls with longer hair and make-up, but to hear them say it so viciously hurt. But her eating continued and she started up a new hobby; cutting. For a moment, it was a release of her frustrations. She never pressed to deeply, but the cuts weren't just her wrists either. Her stomach - the main perpetrator and the reason she was getting all the unnecessary attention - was slashed as well. But this didn't make it better either.
So, she began purging.
Every time she found herself eating more snacks, she would force herself to throw it right back up. It became so badly that she woke up every day pale and her mother was worried she wasn't either getting enough rest or enough food. Of course, Dany never tried to worry anyone and didn't say anything. It wasn't until she passed out from blood loss after suffering a really bad headache that her friends and family discovered Danielle's issues. Her parents were horrified and she was too ashamed to even look her younger sister in the face. Therapy became a constant in her life, especially during her senior year. After graduation, when she was away from all of the high school drama, Dany wanted a change. She didn't want to be this person anymore.
So, she worked out. She didn't stop herself from indulging every now and then, but her meals were healthier and she decided to cook dinner more just to be sure of what she was eating. Losing her weight was hard, but she managed to bring herself down to a nice 120lbs by the end of her freshman year at college. It was during these times that she met her best male friend. To this day, she doesn't even know what about her caught his attention or why he's so sweet on him, but she knows for a fact that no matter how flirty they become or how much her heart flutters at the mention of his name, he could never want her. Who would? She's the girl with more baggage than the weight she carried almost three years ago. Again, who would want her?
