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He didn't say a word to me at first as it seemed we both needed something to eat. I was a pretty good cook....when it came to deep frying things...My sister was always the better cook which was fine by me. I for one did not want to cook dinner for 9 people.
Danny seemed to forget I was there as he spoke to Ren about dinner and my heart sunk, my eyes blinked back tears.
I should just go. I felt so werid, so uncomfortable right now. I didn't know what to do. The tension plus the pain in my ankle was making me dizzy and I could feel myself shaking.
Great...A anexity attack.
I'm not exactly prone to them, I've had about 2 maybe 3 in my life but it was usually because I was under a serious amount of stress and right now, with my stubborn need not to cry, I had no way of relieving any of the pressure that had built up mentally.
Danny turned to me then, and my breathing quickened some . I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.
My dad had witnessed two of my panic attacks and described me as going dangerously pale for someone of my skin tone. Like my face had blanched and that was right before I would pass out. He'd caught me the one time, I don't think I could take such a fall right now.
"You hungry?" Danny asked and that did it. I don't know why but it did. My body grew heavy and I reached out for something to hold on to so that I didn't crash to the ground. I honestly don't know what I grabbed on to but I managed to straighten myself enough that I could stumbled quickly to my room.
My body was on autopilot at this point as stumbled up the steps, crawled on the bed, wrapping my arms around my legs, trying to steady my breathing.
I think my dad would be proud...Okay probably not. He'd kick my ass for getting this flustered over a guy I'd only just started dating...if I could even say we were dating anymore...
That thought made me dizzier if at all possible. I rested my head on my knees and decided, I had two options. I'd cry or I'd faint.
...With that, I started sobbing in my arms, thankfully, my cries were somewhat muffled.
In the midst of all my stubborn ignorance, I hadn't been paying a blind bit of attention to Kai's feelings and what it would maybe do to her in the long run, and here I was witnessing it for myself, caught completely off guard. No doubt she'd probably had some sort of stress-related panic attack or something, which ultimately made me feel worse about ignoring her so casually. I wanted nothing more than to just hold her and tell her everything is alright, and so that's what I was going to do.
I walked over to the bed and sat down beside of her, my arms wrapping around her and moving her so that she was sat on my lap. I kissed the top of her head lightly. "I'm sorry, Baby," I mumbled, "for reacting the way I did... for making you think it was your fault. I never wanted to upset you like this, but you and I both know we're too stubborn for our own goods." I took a pause for a couple of seconds. "I really care about you, you know, as much as you might not think it at times."
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That's when it happened. Word Vomit...or was it real vomit...nope word vomit. "I know you care about me. You stopped me from doing something out of impulse. This is my fault. It was me, It's always me. My indecisivness always screws things up. I really care about you, Danny, I just don't know what I'm doing until after it's done. You did the right thing, you really did and all I did was make you think you didn't-"I was still panicking, My heart raced faster then it should but all I could do was continue to talk/sob. I was reliving alot of old emotions that I'd bottled up and now it was just pouring out of me "I didn't want you to think I was some sort of whore or something when you stopped me so I stopped, even though I really wanted to keep going. After that, I was so embarrassed, so flustered that I couldn't speak. I made you upset, I confused you and I'm so-- so sorry." and with that, I just cried into his chest.
My arms tightened around her as she cried into my chest, and after that it was my turn to speak, to attempt to make her feel better about the whole situation. I rested my chin in top of her head as I spoke. "Please don't apologise, Kai. To be honest, everything about that fight is all a blur. I don't know if it's because of the alcohol but whatever," I started, "I blamed you then because of my own confusion and that was wrong. I didn't think you were a whore at all, I was just trying to make sure that you were properly ready for something like that to happen to soon. To call you a whore for acting on impulse would be the most ridiculous thing in the world for me to do, because the first time I kissed you was an impulse move." I brushed a finger under her chin as I moved my chin from her head, and lifted her head at an angle where she was looking up at me. My eyes stared at her softly.
"I would be lying if I said that since you and me got together, I hadn't thought about that and how much I've wanted to just pin you to the bed, almost every time I see you standing near or lying on top of it," I continued with a sheepish smirk. "However, I'm putting your feelings first. I know you said you wouldn't regret the act as much as the impulse, but for our first time I don't want you to regret a single thing." I wiped her tears from her eyes with my thumb. "I want this to be perfect because... I'm in love with you, Kai."
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He then brushed a finger under my chin, lifting my head so that he was looking into my eyes. My panic attack finally subsided as I watched his eyes.
"I would be lying if I said that since you and me got together, I hadn't thought about that and how much I've wanted to just pin to the bed, almost every time I see you standing near or lying on top of it." He said with a smirk and I giggled a little, with a small blush.
If he only knew just how bad I wanted him...
"However, I'm putting your feelings first. I know you said you wouldn't regret the act as much as the impulse, but for our first time, I don't want you to regret a single thing." He said, echoing my words to him as he wiped the last of my tears away with a thumb. "I want this to be perfect because...I'm in love with you, Kai." He said and I sat up some, looking into his eyes. That was the first time I'd heard that from anyone and suddenly things became clear to me.
Why I'd been so hurt when he'd walked away from my kiss to his cheek, why I'd been so concerned with not making a fool of myself in front of him, why I was so nervous around him and why I'd was so painfully attracted to him and wanted something I never wanted from anyone before.
I smiled softly. "I'm in love with you, Danny." I told him quietly. "I guess that's why I could so easily let go of myself..." I said softly as my eyes found his. Impulse was always a problem for me, but I thought I'd gotten it under control, maybe I still do but with Danny, I suppose I could let me guard down, and my subconscious knew that before I did, if that makes any sense."I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, Danny and I guess that's because I'm in love with you and I want to be closer to you. As close as I can..." I whispered softly. "I suppose the rest of me knew that before I did."
My arms unwrapped themselves from around her body but one hand lingered on her waist while the other moved towards her cheek and cupped it softly. "And that's why... I'm ready when you are," I said, flashing her a smile. I leaned in and placed a gentle but passionate kiss on her lips. I pulled away after letting it linger for a little while, our lips still only a kiss away from each other. I looked into to her eyes once more. "If you love me and I love you, what's stopping us?"
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There was nothing....nothing reasonable. I mean, 'Good girls' don't sleep with guys they just started dating, they also don't date their roommate.
Socially, everything about this was wrong but that was only people's opinions. They didn't matter. Only person's opinion that mattered to me was the blue-eyed cutie in front of me.
I love him, as much as that idea sorta scared me, I did and I could feel he loved me too. He wasn't just saying it to get in my pants....to be honest, he's already gotten that far.
There was literally nothing holding us back except our own apprehension and paranoia.
"Nothing, not anymore." I said then smiled bashfully. "Expect maybe that, Ren's just downstairs." I said with a giggle.
All the while, my hands began to slide slowly from her waists to her back, then downwards until reaching her behind, where my hands cupped her softly. "He most likely has his headphones in," I said, looking up at Kai with a smile, "so he's oblivious." I know I didn't want our first time to be something impulsive, which was why I was trying not to jump into it. I needed to take it slow, to see where Kai wanted it to eventually lead before I actually tried something like that, since we hadn't mutually agreed on it yet. I meant what I said before and I hoped she understood by now it was okay to say no, and she didn't have to do anything beyond her comfort zone.
Without me even realising it, my lips found the skin of her neck, kissing and nipping downwards as I left love bites down the length of it. My hands moved then from her butt to her lower back, shifting my kisses slowly from her neck, across her jawline and to her lips.
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I was slightly nervous but honestly, I was starting to relax. I knew he loved me so I no longer had that fear that he'd leave me once he got what he wanted. I could feel myself getting more and more into this and less and less afraid. Pretty soon, all I could focus on was the feel of him.
All the while, my eyes stayed glued to hers. I moved in and kissed her gently on the forehead, before my head dropped onto the pillow as I let out a somewhat relieved sigh. I had to admit, it was so much more fun with another person; no hint there... As I looked down at her some more, I realised that I could never imagine myself being with anyone else in this way. Kai was well and truly my one and only, and I loved her more than I loved anything else in the entire world. I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling her that.
After what seemed like an eternity of gently gazing upon the ever-beautiful face of my girlfriend, I slowly crept into a deep slumber from the exhaustion of our before activities. Just the thought alone would've caused me to smile, if of course I had been conscious at the time. However, I was deep in sleep and not a whole lot would wake me up after using so much of my own energy just then. Naturally, after spending time with Kai, my dreams were often peaceful and I really didn't have a lot of nightmares with her around, though this time they weren't peaceful so much as erotic. Yes, I was repeating the events in my own head without even realising it and I was loving every second of it, as I had done at the actual time of such activities.
At least a couple of hours later, I awoke from my much-needed slumber to see Kai's face on my pillow. I smiled lightly at that, more so at the feeling of her body still pressing against mine as we lay together in the mess of sheets that was my bed. I stayed silent for a little while as my senses kicked in properly and my vision cleared. Groggily, I lifted my head some. I didn't want to wake Kai but I seriously needed something to drink and I didn't want her to wake up to me leaving either, just in case she thought I was trying to escape or something stupid. I figured waking her up would be better than her thinking I'd used her for sex, so I lightly placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to get some tea. You don't have to get up yet, I'll be back in a short while," I spoke softly, so as not to wake her up too much. I just needed her to know where I was.
With that, I slipped from underneath the sheets, pulled on my boxers and jeans, then made my way out of the room as quietly as I possibly could. I closed the door gently and slowly behind me, waiting for it to click shut properly before I went downstairs and into the kitchen. After filling up the kettle with water, I got my cup, tea bag and milk ready. Spoon-in-hand, I ran my free hand through my hair and clicked the kettle on to boil. I leaned against the counter as I waited patiently.
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I watched him as he rolled on to his back before pressing a kiss to my lips.
He pulled me to him and I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat as it started off quick but slowed to a normal pace. For whatever reason, I felt like this was were I belong. Right here, My body practically attached to his. I could honestly, say this was the first time, I'd made love, not just had sex. I could feel how much he loved me with every move he made, during and after. Like when he pressed a kiss to my forehead. It was official, I belong to him, I didn't want or need anything else, so long as I had him. I snuggled closer and watched his eyes watch mine. There was a peaceful silence between us which was, comically, the exact opposite of our previous events, and during this, My mind replayed what happened and I drifted off to sleep.
I don't know how long I slept my body wrapped around his but it was probably the best sleep I'd ever had. I awoke with a kiss. "I'm going to get some tea. You don't have to get up yet. I'll be back in a short while." He whispered and I smiled sleepily. It was all I could manage as I was still worn out.
As he slipped out of bed, My smile broadened some, realizing he didn't just leave me in bed, like someone else I know would have.That thought actually woke me up a bit. He was so considerate.
I sat up slowly, brushing my dreads down as they went every which way during our exchange.
That made me giggle.
I searched around for my clothes, and found them all over the bedroom, giggling, I collected them, only realizing now, my ankle was still sore but I suppose since I was still on cloud nine, I couldn't really feel it.
I made my way to the bathroom, showering quickly and dressing myself again. My hair was a still a little damp and the scent of my body wash lingering on my skin as I made my way downstairs.
I smiled at the sight of him, I found him incredibly sexy in just his jeans, it was honestly enough to start me up all over again.
Yeah, he had no idea the type of monster he'd just created, there was a reason, I love Fae so much, probably because I share a similar sex drive as crazy as that sounds.
I approached him, wrapping my arms around him with a smile. "Hey." I said softly, looking up at him brightly.
The kiss lingered for a while, my arms draped over her neck, holding her closer to me. After what seemed like a while, I pulled my head back some, our lips still only a breath apart. "You're so beautiful," I whispered, my eyes finding hers. I was about to go in for a second kiss, but was interrupted by the door knocking. I let out a frustrated huff of breath and dropped my head to the crook of her neck. "I got it," shouted Ren from the living room and I lifted my head up. Thank goodness for that, 'cause I seriously didn't want to let go of Kai any time soon.
After a few seconds of quiet mumbling from the living room, Dylan walked into the kitchen with what seemed like loads and loads of bags, including a suitcase. "How long did you plan on staying?" I asked jokingly, slipping away from Kai sheepishly though one arm was still hung around her neck. Dylan didn't look up at me, keeping his gaze fixed to the floor. That almost instantly sparked concern. "Dylan, what's up?" I asked, moving away from Kai. I made my way over to him and no sooner than I did, he threw himself at me. I wrapped my arms around him as he let out a few seemingly angered sobs, then he went silent. I looked down at him, placing one hand on top of his head, smoothing his hair soothingly for a moment or so. "They don't want me there anymore," he whimpered and I knew instantly who he was talking about.
Ren came in, noticing from the hallway that I had the sort of look on my face that just read 'I'mma kill somebody'. He placed his hands on Dylan's shoulders and moved him from me. Dylan seemed alright with it 'cause he then threw himself at Ren instead. Without sparing a glance at Kai, I made my way into the hallway, heading straight for the house phone. "What the fuck is going on?" I practically yelled down the phone when my sister picked up. Ren shut the door to the kitchen so that all that could be heard from their side was angry yelling and then the slamming of the phone.
I ran my hands through my hair in order to calm myself down, before making my way back into the kitchen. I went straight for Kai then and stopped just in front of her. I leaned in to speak quietly into her ear. "Listen, Dylan's going to be living here from now on but he doesn't have a room," I started, glancing back at Ren every now and then. "Could we possibly move your stuff into my room so that you can stay with me and he can have your room?" I asked, the pleading desperation more evident in my voice than in my eyes.
After a while, he pulled away and my lips had started to follow but I decided to behave myself, I mean, we were downstairs. It's not like we were actually alone. "You are so beautiful." He told me and I blushed, biting my lip some. As I opened my mouth to speak, there was a knock at the door and our attention was turned to the other room. Danny's head dropped to the crook of my neck and I turned my head some to place a sympathetic kiss to his temple. I got it. Ren called and a few moments later, a boy entered the room with Ren, with bags and bags. Oh boy... I thought. How long do you plan on staying?" Danny asked sarcastically but the boy didn't seem too thrilled. It was written all over his sullen face. I felt really bad for him. Danny then walked over to him and I smiled sadly as he embraced his younger brother. They don't want me there anymore." He said and my heart broke for him. I knew the feeling myself. I don't know how many times my dad threaten to kick me out. There were times where I was seriously considering take him up on the offer but I didn't want him to completely cut me off from my family, which he had done to two of my three older siblings....they deserved it but that's not the point.
Danny then walked off....more like stormed off and Ren closed the door so that we couldn't hear much but muffled shouting and a slamming of the phone, I probably could have heard a few words but honestly I didn't want to, so I didn't bother to listen.
He then came back and made a bee line right to me. "Listen, Dylan's going to be living here from now on but he doesn't have a room," He said into my ear and my eyes fell on Dylan. "Could we possibly move your stuff into my room so that you can stay with me and he can have your room?" He said and my eyes went wide but I tried to keep my expression even. It sucked for Dylan to be -for all intent and purposes- to be kicked out but Danny just asked me to move into the room with him. How could I not be excited about that. Especially after last night. We could have many nights like that and neither of us would have to get dressed to go back to our respective rooms and Ren couldn't burst into Danny's room, like he usually does, because I'll be in there and I'd probably be naked to be quite honest. "Of course." I said with a smile. I would have added a cheeky remark if there wasn't a 14 year old in the room. I kissed his cheek softly and I turned to Dylan with a smile. " Hi, I'm Kai, It's nice to finally meet you." I said sweetly.
"Okay, well, that's enough for now," I interrupted, walking closer until my front was inches away from Kai's back, my one hand finding its place on her hip whilst the other pointed a finger warningly at Dylan. "Don't push it." Ren let out a laugh, before he lead Dylan out of the kitchen with all his bags and into the living room. I twirled Kai around then and pulled her close, my lips finding hers. The kiss lingered for a moment, turning passionate quite quickly, before I slowed it down a little and eventually pulled away. It was an impulsive action, yes, but I didn't quite care. It just sort of felt natural for me to claim her as my own when someone else gives her a flirty compliment, even my brother.
I unwrapped my arm from around her and made my way then through the hallway. "So, we should probably start moving all your stuff over," I said as I made my way up the stairs and into her bedroom. I looked around and waited for her to come in before I started moving anything, just in case there were some things that she maybe didn't want me to see... "So, what's first then?"
Before I could say anything, or even blink, Danny spun me around and pressed a kiss to my lips, my eyes snapped closed as it lingered on and grew more passionate by the second, then he slowed the kiss to a stop and let me go. I was in such a daze after that, I didn't know where he even went until he started talking. I hurried up and walked with him. " So, We should probably start moving all your stuff over." He said and all I could managed was. "Y-Yeah." Honestly, I didn't think it was necessary to warn his little brother to keep away, the child was 15, but I did like his protective and some what possessiveness over me. After the crap that I'd went through, Possessiveness sounded nice, it meant to me at least, he had no intention on leaving me. I'd get on him about the whole brother thing later though. We got to my room, or former room and I looked around. I got a chill, just thinking about how much fun we'd have now that one.) We'd gone there, last night and two.) We'd be sharing a room. "So, What's first then?" He asked and I looked around. "Well, I think we should get to the clothes, that'll take the longest." I said and wondered to were my wardrobe was and slowly unhooked the clothes from the hangers, folded them, for easier transport. "After that, We could find some place for my art stuff, although, most of it will be in the studio next week." I said, realizing, I probably won't be painting much at home anymore, I'm drawing sure, that only required a few pencils and a sketchbook, which I always have on me anyway but I'll probably will have my paints and things at work, which is good. More time for me and Danny.
"Well, I think we should get to the clothes, that'll take the longest," Kai replied and I nodded my head, watching her make her way over to the wardrobe where she proceeded to slowly unhook her clothes and fold them. I went for the drawers, where I just had a feeling her underwear would be. The thought made me smile as I approached it and in one of the drawers, I found them. "After that, we could find some place for my art stuff, although, most of it will be in the studio next week." I remained silent as I started moving her pants, bras and socks out of the way, placing them on top of the drawers. It was then that something of interest caught my eye. I turned my head to see a red lacy material poking from underneath the rest. I grabbed it and pulled it out, my eyes widening some before a goofy grin found its place on my lips.
"I have a desk in my room that I'm not using for anything, so you could put your stuff there," I said, before I turned to her. I held them up with both hands, grinning childishly at Kai. "What are these then?" I asked, waving them around a little before I grasped them with one hand and took a better look at them. These would be fun, I reckon. I couldn't quite explain why, but finding these was such a big turn on for me. "You know, it would be fun if you wore these some time." I placed them on top of the others in one of the piles. "Yeah.. Definitely."
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"What are these then?" He asked and I turned to my horror that he had the only pair of lace underwear in his hand.
I think my heart just stopped...
"Would you- Nobody told you t-" I was all kinda of flustered at this point, I mean sure he would have seen them at some point anyway but as I've mentioned before I'm easily embarrassed.
I watched as he got to examining them and all I could do was cringe and closed my hand over my face.
"You know, it would be fun if you wore these some time." He said and put them down. I dropped my head. "Yeah...Definitely."
"Okay! You are offically off clothes duty, Mister." I said, playfully stomping over to him, with my hands on my hips. "You grab that..." I said and pointing to my PS3 and all it's contents. "And stay out of my clothes." I warned him, my cheek about as red as those damned things as I grabbed up my underwear as quickly as I could.
It had gotten so hot all of a sudden that I swore I'd fog up my glasses.
He had to find them, of all the things he could have found, it was them...
"Fine then," I said, holding my hands in the air as if to say 'okay, you win', backing away a little. "I'll stay out of your clothes from now one, especially your underwear, if that's what you really want." I shrugged nonchalantly, before I made my way over to the PS3 and started removing all the wires, wrapping them up neatly, individually, then grabbed them all up with the actual PS3 and the controllers. I'd come back for the games on another trip. On my way out of the door, I turned my head to Kai with a smirk, the image of her underwear still lingering on my mind. I had certain thoughts about what I'd do to her if I ever caught her in those, but kept them to myself at that time.
With a smile, I set the stuff down on my desk and made my way into the bedroom again to collect her games and stuff, but instead of heading directly for the stuff, I made my way over to Kai. I waited for her hands to be free before I placed mine on her hips and pulled her close, leaning down to press my forehead against hers. I felt bad, honestly, because she genuinely had become flustered by the pants situation and my only reason as the time was a rather insensitive chuckle, which I was regretting now. My arms wrapped themselves around her as my lips found hers and lingered there for a moment or so, before I pulled back slowly and returned my forehead to hers. "I'm sorry, Babe," I said, my voice slightly quieter than I'd expected. "But, you must know, that is a very sexy pair of underwear," I continued, not really knowing if the word vomit spilling from my lips was helping me in any way, shape or form. "They'd look great on you, I reckon."
After a little while, he pulled away, resting his forehead on mine once again. "I'm sorry, Babe."He said sofltly. "But, you must know, that is a very sexy pair of underwear," He said and I smiled. Aww he felt bad. I didn't mean for that to happen. "They'd look great on you, I reckon." He said and I leaned up to give him another kiss. " Oh Baby, I wasn't upset, I just get really easily flustered." I said and rested my arms around his neck. "You would have seen them sooner or later." I said and gave him a few kisses in between words. "I just would have preferred you saw them on me, first." I said before pressing my lips against his again, before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my legs around his waist. My body pressed against his as I deepened the kiss, my tongue slipping into his mouth.
Packing could wait for a while.
I shuffled us backwards, my tongue dancing around her's as we went out of her room and across into mine. Once inside, I slammed the door shut with my foot and locked it from the inside. I slipped off Kai's jeans and panties, pulled down mine and slammed her back, somewhat lightly, into the wall opposite the door because I could wait no longer to be inside of her.
~
Having emptied myself into her, I moved my hips back but didn't bother to let Kai stand up properly. I moved her over to the bed and lay us both down on top of it, hovering over her briefly as I leaned down to place a soft kiss on her forehead. "You're amazing," I whispered, slightly out of breath. I rolled onto my back and pulled my jeans back up, buckling my belt. "Impulse sex is seriously awesome." I sat up some, leaning over her to give her another lingering kiss, before I stood up and left the room.
I then started moving the game discs and other things that came with the PS3 out of her room and into mine.
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To my surprise, he kicked the door closed and slammed me against the wall, causing me to moan, oddly enough. The force of it seriously turned me on, It didn't hurt but I liked his exertion of power. Pretty soon, My clothes were gone and we were at it again.
I could seriously get used to this...
Still coming down from my high, He pulled out and carried me to the bed. He hovered over me some giving me a soft kisd to the forehead and I smiled.
"You're amazing," He whispered and I grinned. "You're amazing." I whispered back breathlessly.
As he dressed and sat up to find what he had done with my clothes and collected them. "Impulse sex is seriously awesome." He said and give me yet another kiss. I smiled against his lips, and I watched he walk out the door. With a satified sigh, I went out and finished moving my things.
(I hope you don't mind a timeskip ^-^)
Finally, we've finished and now Danny and I shared a room. I slipped my arms around his waist with a smile. "This is gonna be fun." I said happily. Our relationship moved really fast but honestly, I liked it. I wasn't as worried about him leaving me more then me messing up somehow as I usually managed to do with relationships.
"So Now what do you want to do?" I asked, sorta hinting that their was a double meaning in my question.
I'm a mess, I know but I never been this attracted to anyone before and honestly, we could go at it for days, if possible and I would be perfectly happy but at the same time, doing anything with him, I'd be perfectly happy with also.